
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
Behaving Responsibly - 6. Leader-Shit
Two weeks into my seven-and-a-half-week stint in Basic Training, I was designated the squad leader of my dorm. All of my men were pleased because I had established myself as knowledgeable, friendly, and committed to helping others succeed.
On the other hand, I received less-than-cordial treatment from a couple of the other squad leaders, who were only interested in their own success and progress. They only appreciated the men under their command when the subordinates did as they were told and didn’t fuck up.
It started with little insults and jabs muttered sotto voce during meetings. When I ignored the assholes, they escalated to bullshit like removing the firing pin of my rifle and putting salt in the sugar bowl in the coffee station.
The worst pain in the ass was a sonofabitch named Kevin Franklin. He was the squad leader of the dorm next to mine. He was fucking lazy. He basked in holding a position of authority, but he failed to accept the responsibility that comes with leadership.
His men bitched about him all the time, and my men related some of their complaints to me. When any of Franklin’s squad did well, he said nothing, but if they fucked up in the slightest way, he chewed their asses out and spat out shitty assignments.
One afternoon, Franklin stopped me as I walked toward the dining hall. “Who the hell do you think you are, Stimson? God’s gift to the fuckin Air Force?”
Icy daggers shot from my eyes as I turned to stare at him for a minute of brutal silence. “Squad Leader Franklin, I am an Airman Recruit in the United States Air Force. Anything beyond that is none of your goddamn business. Now excuse me, please.”
I tried to step past, but he grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him. “Your father is some top brass back in Tennessee, but here you’re nothing but a grunt like the rest of us.”
“I’m aware of that. In fact, I like it that way.”
“Then why the fuck are you messing with men who aren’t in your squad? What gives you the right to stick your goddamn nose where it doesn’t belong?”
“Franklin, I’m not sure what you’re referring to, but if it has to do with helping fellow recruits when they ask for it, how is it any business of yours? More to the point, why the fuck aren’t you doing it?”
He turned red with fury, and I braced myself for a fistfight, but he glanced over my shoulder and saw Drucker walking our way.
“Shit. I’ve got a lot more to say to you, Stimson, but it’ll have to wait. You’ll stay the fuck away from my men.” He glanced at the approaching officer and lowered his voice, “If you know what’s good for you.”
********
My second call home was to my brother, Teddy. As usual, it was filled with out light-hearted banter and teasing.
“Hey, Bro, how’s it hangin’?”
I chuckled, “Hi, Teddy. Or should I be calling you Ted?”
“Well, I am second in command now.”
“In your dreams.”
“Fuck you.”
“Back atcha, dickhead,” I laughed. “I’m glad we’re still on the same wavelength.”
“So, Basic Training treating you all right?”
“Shit, man, it’s hard as fuck.”
“You giving up?”
“Hell no! Don’t even think that bullshit. I fucking love it!”
“Great, ’cause I don’t want you coming back home with your tail between your legs and knocking me outta the fuckin catbird seat, now that you’re gone.”
“Goddamn! You sound like you don’t miss me at all.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Come on, Bobby, I’m shittin’ you. We both miss you a hell of a lot.”
“I miss you and Dad, too—when I’ve got time to think about anything other than all the shit I have to learn and do here.”
“Dad said you scored high on the shooting. Sounds familiar.”
“You bet your ass. All those years of target practice and competitions paid off. They made me a team leader so I can help the guys who’ve never held a gun in their hands.”
“Damn! Are there a lot of them?”
“Not too many, but very few have the kind of experience you and I have.”
“So how come you flyboys need to know how to fire a rifle?”
“First of all, I’m not a goddamn flyboy. I’m just a fucking grunt on the ground. Pilot school is for academy graduates and the like.”
“Well, fuckin pardon me.”
I laughed, then turned serious. “I’m probably gonna be stationed at a forward base, loading planes and kissing pilot’s asses. That means we’re likely to come under fire sooner or later.”
“Sonofabitch! That’s not how I pictured it. You ready for that shit?”
“Can anyone ever be ready to get shot at?”
“I guess not.”
“So, how’s school this year? You gonna be valedictorian?”
“I might be.”
“No shit! For real?”
“I’m in the top five in my class, and they’re gonna add bonus points for students who take advanced courses and extracurricular activities.”
“Are you taking any of those new Advanced Placement courses?”
“Oh, lemme see. There’s math, physics, English, and history.”
“Damn! How do you have time to do all the extra studying?” He didn’t answer. “Teddy? What the fuck, man?”
“Uh, well, I have a lot more time on my hands now.”
“Since when?”
“Since Sue Ann and I broke up.”
“Fuck! How did that happen?”
“Oh, I dunno. It kinda just happened.”
“Bullshit. What’re you not telling me?” Again, he remained silent. “Out with it, goddammit!”
“OK, OK. But don’t take this the wrong fuckin way.”
“What way should I take it?”
“You know—there were always four of us—Sue Ann and me, and you and Angie.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Yeah, so when it was only her and me, it didn’t feel the same. We were like strangers to each other, and after trying a few times, we accepted it was over.”
“Man, I’m so fucking sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. The four of us were tight, and now we’re not, so things had to change.”
“What’re you gonna do? You got a replacement waiting in the wings?”
“Nah. I think I’ll fly solo for a while. Like I said, I’m taking a shitload of hard courses, so I probably won’t have much time for a social life.”
“Well, don’t become a goddamn monk, for shit’s sake.”
“No, I won’t. I’m still going to parties and hanging out with the football team. I think that’s gonna be plenty for me.”
“I fucking hope so.”
His voice took on a tone of annoyance. “Oh, by the way, Bro. Thanks for fuckin telling Dad I’ve been smoking.”
“No way, José. I told him I started smoking. He’s the one who said ‘that makes three of us now.’ ”
“No shit?”
“No. Shit. At. All. He already fucking knew, dumbass. He reminded me nothing escapes him.”
“Well, he seems cool about it, so I’m not complaining, but I wanted to ride your ass a little.”
“I get a fuck-ton of that all day every day here.”
“Is it really rough?”
“I can handle it. I’m doing fine, but as it turns out, that can be a problem, too.”
“How so?”
“Because the assholes who aren’t doing fine are jealous, and they pull all kinds of shit to try to take me down.”
“The goddamn motherfuckers!”
“Yeah, well, I came here saying I didn’t want any help—I’d just do my best. But it’s a lot harder than I expected when you’ve got other guys trying to fucking make you look bad.”
“Don’t the...what’re they called? Drill sergeants?—”
“TIs. Training Instructors. And they know what’s going on. I think they’re watching to see how I fucking handle it.”
“That sucks, Bro.”
“Yes and no. For now, I’m holding my own, and the fact that the TIs are aware of what’s up kinda makes me want to beat these shitheads at their own game.”
“Shit, I hope you can.”
“So far, so good. And they already made me squad leader of my dorm.”
“That’s gotta piss off the shitheads.”
“Actually, not too much. The guys in my dorm are all with me. I make sure we all do well, and I take time to work with the ones who are falling behind. I think they like the fact that I’m their leader.”
“Way to go! Fuckin fantastic, Bro!”
“It’s the other dorms, and especially their squad leaders who are in some kind of goddamn cut-throat competition. I refuse to play their game, which pisses them off and makes them try to knock me down a peg or two.”
“Well, fuck ’em. You’re gonna kick their asses.”
“Wrong—that’s the opposite of what I need to do.”
“It is? What the fuck?”
“Bro, I need to win them over, help them realize we’re all in this together—the whole goddamn flight. We all want to graduate, which means leaving no one behind. So I’m reaching out to anybody who needs help or encouragement, and I’m doing it with the full knowledge of their squad leaders, which makes them look good.”
“You are one smart sonofabitch, Bob.”
“We’ll see. It’s the best thing I can think of to do, for now. I might have to kick some asses later on if this doesn’t work.”
“Well, good luck.”
"Thanks."
Teddy hesitated to say what was on his mind. “Uh, Bob—”
“Yeah?”
“Dad told me you didn’t want me passing on messages from Angie.”
“I just don’t want you stuck in the middle of a shitty situation.”
“I appreciate that, so I’m gonna tell you one thing and then shut the fuck up.”
“Which is?”
“She misses you, and she’d like to keep in touch.”
“So give her my goddamn mailing address.”
“I already did, but she said some things don’t convey the right tone on paper, and she’s worried that all your mail gets opened. She wants to talk to you.”
“Well, she can’t fucking call me. And just to be clear, opening someone else’s mail is a violation of federal law unless they have a search warrant. They don’t do shit like that here, although things are different when we’re at combat stations overseas.”
“She knows she can’t call you, so she asked me to ask you to call her next time.”
“Fuck.”
“You always said you were gonna set up a rotation: Dad one week, then me the next, and Angie the third week.”
“That was the plan before she shit on me.”
“Now, wait a goddamn minute, Bro. Don’t you think it might be possible she regrets whatever happened between you, and she’s sorry you two broke up? Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“Listen, Teddy, I gotta get off the fucking phone now. I’ve got an angry crowd lined up behind me, and I’ve gone over my time. It’s not the way to win friends here.”
“Fine, but what should I tell Angie?”
“Tell her if I decide to talk to her, I’ll call her next week. Tell her what time, but don’t make any promises for me. OK?”
“You got it, Bro. Sayonara.”
“Back at you, Teddy.”
********
The negativity from the other squad leaders came to a head a few days later. I was resting on my cot when a military policeman entered the dorm and ordered me to accompany him. He escorted me to the base commander’s office, but instead of taking me to General Wright, the MP brought me to a room with three training sergeants seated at a long table.
Obediently, I stood at attention. A gruff-looking First Sergeant in the center pushed a pack of cigarettes in a sealed plastic bag across the table. I looked at them, but didn’t touch. They were Camel unfiltered, which Cal and I smoked. Most of the rest of the men went for filtered.
He barked at me without preliminaries, “Airman Stimson, do you recognize this?”
“Sir. It looks like my brand, Sir.” I knew better than to ask or add anything other than a direct answer to his question.
“Airman, a marijuana cigarette was found in this pack, which was in your locker. What do you have to say for yourself?”
I was startled, but I kept control over my body and voice. “I don’t know anything about it, Sir. It must have been put there by someone else.”
“Who would do that?”
“I couldn’t say, Sir.”
“Couldn’t say, or won’t?” he demanded gruffly. “Are you covering for someone like Airman Rouleau, who has the bunk next to yours?”
I responded emphatically, “Absolutely not, Sir. Airman Rouleau would not do that.” I had to think fast. “May I ask a question, Sir?”
He grimaced, but the sergeant beside him butted in. “Go ahead, Stimson.” It appeared I had at least one friend at this Inquisition.
“Thank you, Sir. May I ask if my fingerprints were found on the pack?” It was standard military procedure to fingerprint all of us on the day we arrived at Lackland.
The first man scowled, “No they were not, but it’s easy to wipe them off.”
I took a risk. In my leadership class, we were taught never to ask a question we didn’t already know the answer to. “Were any fingerprints found on it, Sir?”
The third sergeant joined the fray. “Yes, but we haven’t identified whose yet.”
The first man jumped in angrily. “This inquiry is suspended until we identify the fingerprints. Stimson, you are confined to quarters. Your meals will be brought to you. Dismissed!”
I saluted and returned to my dorm, crushed by the unjust accusation. I told Cal about it, and it didn’t take more than a few minutes for the rest of the squad to learn the details.
One of them exclaimed loudly, “This is nothing but fuckin bullshit!” and the others agreed.
Shortly, Sergeant Drucker entered with fire in his eyes.
“Attention!” barked the man in the first bunk. We all sprang to our feet.
“At ease.” He snarled and made a beeline for me. “Listen, Stimson, everybody knows this is goddamn bullshit. Keep your cool about it, and do what you’re told. I’ll get to the bottom of things.”
One of my squad spoke up, “Permission to speak, Sir?”
“Go ahead.”
“Sir, I had to come back to pick up a book during our class yesterday, and I saw somebody slipping out the back door, but I didn’t see who. I didn’t mention it because I figured he was in the wrong dorm. They all look the same.”
Drucker made a face and growled to the room, “Next time anybody sees some motherfucker who doesn’t fucking belong in here, I want to know immediately.” He about-faced and stomped out without another word.
The following morning, I was summoned before the three sergeants again. The one who had accused me wore a furious expression.
The sergeant who had suggested the fingerprints be checked spoke crisply. “Airman Robert Stimson, we have determined what happened, and the matter is being dealt with. You are released from confinement and ordered to return to your duties immediately. Dismissed.”
I saluted and got my ass out of HQ as fast as I could. A couple of days later the whole flight learned that two recruits had been discharged.
Cal approached me, “What the fuck, man? What’d those two assholes do to get kicked out? It must have been really bad.”
I explained, “Kevin Franklin had caught one of his men sneaking back on base late one night with a bottle of hooch. Instead of disciplining the man, he gave him the marijuana joint and told him to hide it in my area, which is how it ended up in my pack of Camels.”
“Holy shit! He really was a dumb fuck!”
“The poor fool didn’t realize he was leaving his fingerprints on the spiff and the pack. They also found a partial print belonging to Franklin, and both of them confessed.”
“Well, they got what they fuckin deserved, is all I’ll say. Fuck ’em and good bye, dirtbags. I bet their draft boards will want to have a little chat with them!”
A little later, Drucker called me into his office. He was doubly pissed—at the rules violations and the blatant hatred directed at me.
He handed me a cigarette, lit it for me, and then lit his own. After pulling in and exhaling a long drag, he said, “I talked with the men in your squad, and they set up a rotation to keep an eye on your dorm at all times. They’re loyal to you, which has been noted in the write-up of the accusation against you.”
I shook my head as I exhaled the smoke. “I still can’t fucking believe anybody feels that way about me. What the hell did I do to piss them off?”
Drucker scowled, “In short, you succeed easily when they’re struggling. There’s also a bit of vicious competition between some of them, and your help for their men only showed they weren’t doing their jobs.”
He exhaled, turning his head to the side and blowing the smoke out the corner of his mouth. “I’ve had a heart-to-heart with all the squad leaders, and they now realize the brass will judge the entire flight based on how every man does.”
“I thought that was already clear to everyone.”
“They’d been told, but it didn’t sink in. They fully understand now, and you shouldn’t get any more grief over it.” He looked me in the eye. “So, what have you learned from this?”
I pressed my lips together before responding, “Well, I need to pay attention to how my actions affect my peers, and I should try to convince them I’m not trying to show them up.”
“I expect you to maintain your standard of excellence and not start second-guessing every goddamn thing you do.”
I shook my head and my voice turned resentful. “I thought we were all on the same fucking team here, but I guess I was wrong.”
He snorted. “If you’re planning on a career in the Force, Bob, you’d better learn that your success means somebody else didn’t succeed. That’s how it works—the best rise to the top, and the rest don’t make it.”
I frowned and nodded. “You’re right, Sir. I never had it made so clear to me—until now.”
“Then this experience isn’t wasted on you. Dismissed, Airman.”
I saluted him and returned to my dorm.
********
It was time for my third weekly call home. Reluctantly, I dialed a familiar number.
A hesitant voice answered, “Hello.”
I spoke coldly, “Hi, Angie.”
Her response was guarded. “Hi, Bobby. Thank you for calling me.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I wasn’t sure if you were going to.”
“Neither was I.”
“Teddy told me—”
“Can we keep my brother the fuck out of the middle of our shit?”
She spoke softly, “Of course, Bobby. I didn’t mean to drag him into it, but I couldn’t think of any other way to reach you.”
“OK. I understand.” She was silent until I blurted, “So what did you want to say?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“Sorry for the way we left things between us.”
“If memory serves, you were the only one who left.”
“That’s true, and I’m sorry I did that.”
I showed her no mercy. “So why did you?”
“I don’t know. I was upset, and I needed to get away to think about things.”
“And you couldn’t have told me? Am I such a fucking asshole that I wouldn’t have understood?”
She sounded on the verge of tears. “No, of course you’re not. It’s all my fault. I panicked.”
“Panicked? Why the fuck did you do that?”
“Please listen for a minute and let me explain.”
“Go ahead. I’ve got four more minutes before I have to hang up and hand the phone to the next man in line.”
She sighed. “Well, I doubt four minutes will be long enough, but let’s give it a try.” She paused to choose her words carefully.
“Bobby, our last night together, things came to a head. It was clear to me, or at least it seemed so at the time, that there was no future for us. I mean, you were going away to the Air Force, and then probably to the war, and I was going to college.”
“And you couldn’t think of any way it could work out for us.”
“Not then, I couldn’t.”
“But you can now?”
“I don’t know, but I think we could try.”
“I seem to remember another topic that came up on the beach.”
“Yes, that’s true. I’m sorry it came out that way.”
“Oh, it was just fine that way. You said you wanted to fuck other guys. In fact, you admitted you’d already been doing it.”
“No! Not already...I mean—yes, there were others before you, but once we got together I never—”
She swallowed hard. “There were no other guys then, Bobby, I swear. But we have to be honest. We can’t be separated for four years, with you somewhere in Southeast Asia and me off in Chicago. We can’t live like monks or nuns for the whole time.”
“You’re right, Angie, and I never said we should.”
“Well, then—”
“You never gave us a chance to talk it out, to consider alternatives, to see if we could stay committed to each other while still living a normal life with other people. Goddammit, Angie, you ran out on me without a word. What the fuck was I supposed to think?”
Her voice filled with sobs. “Oh, Bobby. I was so wrong to do that, and I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Don’t hate me.”
“Angie, of course I forgive you. I was in love with you. I’ll never hate you. I...miss you...but I’ve moved on.”
Her words sounded panicked. “Is there someone else? Already?”
“No, nobody else. Shit, Angie, I’m in fucking basic training with five hundred other men. We’re never allowed off the base, and every goddamn minute of every day is structured and locked in. I meant it would drive me batshit crazy if I sat around here and thought about my broken heart—”
“I broke your heart?”
“What the fuck do you think you did?”
She started crying. “I’m so fucking sorry, Bobby. I should’ve known. My own heart was breaking, too, and I think I shut you out so I could live with it.”
“Well, aren’t we a pair of fucking losers!”
“No, we’re not. Or we don’t have to be.”
I heard her sniffle and wipe her nose. Then she asked, “Bobby, is there any way we could find the time to have the talk—the one I ran away from back at the beach?”
“You have any goddamn idea where fucking Texas is?”
“Yes, I do, and I didn’t mean right now.”
“Then when?”
“Aren’t you coming home on leave once you graduate?”
“We’re supposed to, but there’s a rumor we might be sent directly to—I’m not allowed to say where, but it’s not home—as soon as we graduate.”
Her voice was defeated. “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”
I felt a pang of compassion for her. “Angie, I’m sorry for your pain. I’m sorry we ended the way we did, but I don’t see much hope for us to patch things up, and I’m not sure why we’d try.”
“Because I still love you.”
I didn’t know what to say. After a silence, I told her, “Angie, I’ve gotta go now. I’m only allowed five minutes, and it’s not fair to the rest of the men if I take more than that.”
“Will you call me again? Please?”
“Three weeks from now. Maybe—I’m not promising. But if I do and you answer, we can talk again.”
********
In the fourth week of basic, I was promoted to Flight Leader, the top position in our recruit class. In this role, I learned to work with the TIs to plan the training and evaluation of the flight’s progress.
I was directed to pay attention to the weaker recruits, and I did so with a blend of hard-ass and camaraderie that showed them I was still one of them and on their side. The TIs made it clear that my success was closely linked to the performance of the entire flight. Looking back, I suppose that was my first “command experience,” although I was still an ordinary grunt like all the other recruits.
One result of my promotion was that I looked out for Cal. As Flight Leader, I owed a duty of care to every man in the flight, but I always kept an eye on my best buddy. Don’t get me wrong—when Cal fucked up, he got the same punishment as anyone else, but I lost count of the times I intervened to save his sorry ass before he went off the rails.
One afternoon, Cal came in from the shower house with bloody knuckles. I turned my head to one side and wrinkled my brow. “What the fuck happened to you? I thought you went to take a shower.”
He snorted. “Ran into a little fuckin...in-con-VEE-ni-ence, I believe it’s called.” Cal’s vocabulary had tripled in the few weeks we’d been in training, but his pronounced southern drawl made every word of more than two syllables sound like it didn’t belong coming from his mouth.
I laughed and let it pass, but an hour later, I cornered Greg Lattimore, my dorm leader. Even though I’d been promoted to Flight Leader, I still slept in the same bunkhouse with the same men, although Greg was in charge of the squad now.
“What the hell happened with Cal? It had to be something that involved his temper.”
“You don’t wanna know, Flight Leader.”
I frowned. “OK. Off the record, Squad Leader—what the fuck happened?”
Greg grimaced, then decided he had no choice but to tell me. “You ever meet Pete Snyder?” That was the name of one of the worst fuck-ups in the flight. I doubted that he was going to pass training, which would reflect negatively on my leadership.
“Sure. He’s an asshole.”
“Well, he was in the showers with a bunch of his shit-for-brains buddies, and he started bitching about you, saying you think you’re hot shit because your dad is a fucking colonel.”
I slammed my fist against the wall. “Goddammit! It pisses me off to think my men talk about me like that or might actually believe Snyder's bullshit.” I took a long breath to gain control of my anger. “So what happened?”
“Cal overheard him. He grabbed Pete and slammed him up against a wall. Pete fought back, and...well, the short version is that Cal left with a bloody hand, and Pete made a little trip to the Infirmary to be stitched up. The bastard is also missing a tooth.”
“Shit.”
“Listen, Bob. You don’t have to do anything. The situation resolved itself without anybody needing to take any action.”
“I have to—”
Lattimore shook his head emphatically. “No, you fucking don’t.”
He lowered his voice. “Come on, man—Flight Leader, Sir—one of the marks of leadership is knowing when doing something is necessary and when it’s not. Pete knows he was out of line and got what he had coming. He stood up for himself, but Cal got in enough hits to settle the matter. They both came out of it with their honor intact. You’ll only make it a big fucking thing if you get involved.”
I knew when to let things drop, so I did. That evening, I shared a smoke with Sergeant Drucker outside the Mess Hall.
He exhaled and asked, “So what happened in the showers today?”
I raised my eyebrows but said nothing.
His tone took on a commanding edge. “Let me rephrase that, Flight Leader. What the fuck happened in the goddamn showers today?”
I swallowed hard. “I heard about a little disagreement, but I checked into it, and it’s nothing you need to be concerned about—Sir.”
“You made that determination all by yourself, did you?” His tone of voice dared me to defend my decision.
I knew better than to say anything more than necessary so I faced him squarely, “Yes, Sir, I did.”
Drucker chuckled and nodded, “You’ve learned a lot, Stimson. Good for you.”
It hit me. “So you already knew the answer to your question.”
The sergeant grinned. “That’s another rule of leadership. Always know what the hell is going on, but also know when to do something about it. You made the right call.”
“Hmm. I wonder.”
“Come on, Stimson. Sounds like you need a beer. It’s good for the conscience.”
We stubbed out our cigarettes and pushed the butts into the receptacle. As a recruit, I was not allowed to be in the Enlisted Men’s Club, but as Flight Leader, an exception was made for me, as long as I was in the company of my TI.
********
I couldn’t wait for my fourth call home. I was eager to tell Dad the news of my promotion.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Son.”
“What’s the weather like up there? It’s fucking miserable here in Texas.”
“How well I remember! It’s hot here, but nothing like down where you are.”
“Cal—he’s my bunkmate—”
“The one who started you smoking.”
“Uh, yeah. Anyway, Cal said Southeast Asia is hotter and more humid than it is here.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll find a way to survive it. I understand they vaccinate you against a lot of things before you go.”
“A shitload of nasty things, Dad. It’s a fuckin third-world country, and you don’t dare drink the goddamn water.”
“So you’ll be careful, and you’ll be all right.”
I laughed, “I’m glad you’ve got it all figured out for me.”
Dad laughed, but it turned into a coughing spell. When he recovered, he told me, “Well, Son, I’ve got to stay optimistic, or I’ll go fucking crazy worrying about you.”
“No need to worry about me, Dad, I’ve got things well under control here.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, Sir.” I paused dramatically. “You are talking to the newly-appointed Flight Leader of the whole goddamn recruit flight.”
“That’s fantastic news, Son. Congratulations. I’m proud of you.” His voice sounded unexpectedly flat.
“Hmm. Wait a minute, Dad. You don’t sound like you’re surprised.”
“Well, I always expect the best of you—”
“And?”
“Well...and I might have gotten a phone call from an old buddy of mine—”
“By the name of Wallace Pissed-off Wright?”
“Perhaps. And for the record, the P stands for Patrick.”
“And he already told you I’d been promoted. Goddammit!”
“Now don’t fly off the handle, Son. We’re old friends, and General Wright wanted to share the news with me. He’s pleased with your performance, and this appointment shows you’re off to an excellent start to your career.”
“Who was Flight Leader when you were in Basic?”
“Um, actually it was Wallace Wright, and I was his Executive Officer.”
“Well, I’m here to tell you I didn’t seek the job. It’s a hell of a lot more responsibility, and I still have to keep up with every fucking thing everyone else is required to do. I barely sleep four goddamn hours a night, Dad. I think this position should actually be called leader-shit !”
My father chuckled with understanding based on years of experience. “I know exactly what you mean, Son, but I’m sure you’re up to the challenge. And you only have three more weeks of Basic, and then you’ll be home for a month.”
I didn’t say anything. Dad repeated, “You will be home for a month, won’t you?”
“Dad, there are things I’m not allowed to discuss with you.” We both knew that all phone calls were monitored to prevent the leaking of any confidential information.
“Shit. I realize that, Son, but could you talk around it? That’s what we always did when we were up against top-secret bullshit.”
“Let’s talk about the news. OK, Dad?”
“Whatever you say, Flight Leader.”
“I have to admit I like the sound of that.”
“Me, too. So what’s in the news this week?”
“President Johnson has announced a ramp-up of bombing in a certain country.”
“So I heard.”
“And more bombing means more bombers need to be brought online, serviced, test-flighted, and put into action, or so the news reports say.”
“Makes perfect sense. Those news reports are usually accurate.”
“Exactly. And getting those bombers into action will require ramping up the personnel on the ground.”
“Say no more, Son, I understand. Shit! We were all counting on seeing you again before you—”
“Careful, Dad.”
“I hear you.”
“Any chance of at least a few days’ leave?”
“I think your pal the general is trying to engineer it, but there are no promises.”
“And it would seriously piss you off if a certain colonel with a goddamn desk job were to inquire with a superior officer about the chances for one recruit to stop by home for a brief rest?”
“Fuckin-A, Dad! Hell, yes, it would.”
“Got you.”
“So, let’s change the subject. How’s Teddy doing?”
“This’ll probably come as a shock to you, but he went out and asked his teachers to issue his textbooks before school starts, and he’s spending all his time reading ahead.”
“No shit! He’s really taking this seriously.”
“Well, he has a lot of time on his hands—”
“Oh, right. He told me about him and Sue Ann. It’s a shame.”
“They were pretty serious, and I worried it would distract him from the hard work he’s going to need to put in this senior year, if he wants to be accepted into the best college.”
I burst out laughing. “Goddamn!”
“What’s so funny, Son?”
“After all your concern about us ‘behaving responsibly’ with our girlfriends, Teddy and I are both celibate now.”
Dad chuckled, “Well, I hope it’s a temporary situation, at least for Teddy. He’s more likely to find, shall we say, companionship, once he gets to college. On the other hand—”
“On the other hand what, Dad?”
“Bob, I realize you have the same physical needs as your brother, but you’ll be in a place where meeting those needs can present quite a risk.”
“Dad, I don’t need a goddamn birds and bees talk or another lecture about VD.”
“OK, Son, but just let me say that you’ll have to be extremely careful when you go to, uh...wherever the hell it may be. Don’t forget, I was in combat, too. There were certain women who made themselves available to soldiers, and some of those soldiers came down with—”
“Enough! For shit’s sake, Dad, I know all about that. I’m not gonna fuck up. In fact, one of my duties is to make sure every recruit in my flight has that information drilled into his head before he steps foot off this base.”
“OK, Bob. I’ve had my say. I’m a nosy father who wants his sons to stay healthy.”
“Much appreciated, Colonel. Message received, Sir.”
“Great. Now, will you keep me informed about your plans after graduation?”
“You’ll be here for it? And Teddy?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Thanks, Dad. So long.”
“Good bye, Flight Leader.”
I hung up and got my ass out of the room as quickly as possible. My whole body was shaking, and I was worried I would cry in front of everybody—not a dignified thing for their Flight Leader to do. Not that I hadn’t seen other men hang up the phone with tears in their eyes. It was par for the course.
I hustled across the parade ground and sought shelter behind my dorm. With trembling hands, I lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.
“Fuckin hard to talk to home, ain’t it?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Cal! You sorry sonofabitch. You scared the shit out of me.”
He lit a Camel and blew the smoke up in the air. “Sorry, Buddy. I saw you through the window, and I figured you could use some fuckin conversation or something.”
“I’m all right.”
“OK. You had to fuckin say that—now tell me the goddamn truth. What happened on your phone call? I assume it was to your family.”
“Yeah. I spoke with my father. I guess I...miss home more than I thought I did.”
“Don’t we all.”
“You mean, even with your dad in—”
“Fuckin prison? Hell, yeah, even then. I’ve got my mom, a couple of aunts, and five brothers and sisters, all living next door to each other.”
“Sorry. I didn’t realize you came from a large family. It’s just me, Dad, and my brother.”
“So was it bad news?”
“Not really. The usual bullshit...but hearing about things I’m not there for is fucking hard, man.”
“Tell me about it. It’s so goddamn bad that I sometimes think about going AWOL and sneakin’ back home.”
“They’d hunt you down, bring your ass back here, and throw you in the brig.”
“I hear you, but goddammit, I might risk it.”
“Cal! I wouldn’t let you, and if you did sneak off, I’d be the one fucking hunting you down.”
“I guess I’m supposed to appreciate that shit.”
“I don’t care if you do or not. You know me.”
“And I’m glad I do, you big dumb motherfucker.”
We finished our smokes and went inside to get ready for the next drill. I realized I wasn’t as alone as I thought I was.
-
13
-
10
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
Recommended Comments
Chapter Comments
-
Newsletter
Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter. Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.