Freshman Year - 3. Seamus Comes Out

Wesley And Seamus

By: Wesley Lewis

Chapter 3: Seamus Comes Out

SEAMUS’ POV

When I got home I went straight to my room completely avoiding my parents so I could change my clothes. As far as my parents knew I was only at the hospital to visit a classmate. I’m not sure if I should tell them the truth or not because I’m scared that what happened to Wes could happen to me. Of course, my parents never really did discipline me or my sisters much--maybe the occasional swat on the behind--but that was as aggressive as they got physically. Their mode of punishment was deprivation. When I got into a fight at my last school I was grounded for a week with no television or phone privileges. That wasn’t the worst though. My parents firmly believe in the one bad apple theory. So, for the whole week me and my two sisters woke up to the television missing and our phones locked. I love technology but I hate that my parents are so tech savvy.

After changing clothes, I kept debating whether to tell them that I was gay. The good thing was I had never heard my parents say anything bad about the LGBTQ but then they didn’t say anything good about it either. Another thing was I was afraid they wouldn’t let me see Wes again. That was really my main concern as he is the only friend I’ve made so far, and truthfully, I think I might love him already.

Both of my parents were born in Ireland before moving to America when my older sister was born. They had also left Ireland because both sets of grandparents didn’t approve of them getting married so young. So, their solution was immigrating to the US and never looking back. Being Irish they are both Catholics but we never really went to Mass except for Easter and Christmas. Them being Catholic was another thing that made me hesitant to come out. My parents knew what happened to Wesley but they didn’t know my involvement in the situation.

When it got time for dinner I was determined to come out to my parents and let them know about me and Wes. As we sat down to eat I nervously picked at my food and didn’t really eat much. When dinner was finished, I felt like my stomach was in knots.

After my sisters went to bed, I went and asked mom and dad if I could talk to them, and we all sat down. I was so nervous I was sweating, but I finally managed to blurt out “I’m gay”.

My father chuckled and asked me, “What was that laddie?”

“I said I’m gay.” I sat there looking at them, and suddenly, they busted out laughing; this, in turn, made me cry because I’ve been told I’m a little sensitive.

After seeing me crying, mum got up and hugged me, saying “Oh darling, we’re sorry but we kind of already knew that--and when you started to talk about Wesley, we figured you’d tell us eventually”

“But mum I’m the reason he got hurt.”’

Mum, who always knew how to calm me down, asked me what I meant when I said it was my fault.

“We went to his house the day before his mom did it. We were in his room in an um, intimate position, and his father came in and caught us…but he wasn’t mad, just a little shocked…but then he said he was happy that he could be honest and told us to keep it quiet for now.”

My father got up and put his hand on my shoulder. “Son, where do you get the idea that it was your fault? Did you tell his mother? No, you didn’t, and I don’t think you ever would either. You are a wonderful person and one I’m proud to call my son. You know we don’t care who you love because we will always love you.”

So, after that exhausting ordeal, I went to sleep and for once I was happier than I’d been in a long time.

The next morning I woke up to a beating on my door, and my dad yelling at me to hurry up and get dressed because I had a visitor.

When I made my way down stairs I saw Wes’ dad, and my heart sank because I just knew something must have happened--otherwise he would’ve just called. I don’t remember what happened after that, but when I came to I was in the hospital, and all I could think about was they brought me here to see him one last time. I couldn’t handle that and started to get out of the bed before I felt a hand on my shoulder.

When I looked up, I saw dad’s face looking down on me and he told me to relax. I asked what happened, and why I was in the hospital.

“Well son, when you saw Jason standing in the living room, you just fell over and were unresponsive; truthfully, you scared the dickens out of all of us. The doctors said you were dehydrated, and that compounded with the stress with Wes’ situation, proved a little too much.”

“Dad--what happened with Wes? I need to know. I can feel something isn’t right.”

Dad always told me everything straight up because that’s the kind of man he is. He always says if you’re not an honest man, then you’re no man at all. “Well son, Jason came by to tell you that Wesley had a seizure in the night, and that the doctors had to perform surgery quick on him to get rid of the blockage that caused it. Before you say anything else, son, he’s back in his room right now, but they have him in a medically induced coma so he can heal.”

“When can I see him dad? I’ve got to let him know I’m here so he can get better…I can’t lose him dad. My chest hurts knowing that he’s suffering.”

When I looked at my dad, I could see tears in his eyes. My father never cries--thinking back, the only time I ever remember him crying before was when he got a call saying both of his parents had died in a car accident--and when my little sisters, were born. He looked at me with a look that I will never forget, and said “Son, what you have there is true love. When you feel what another person feels, it means you are connected to them by love, the same way a child is to his parents. No matter what anyone says, love is love--and never let anyone tell you any different either.”

After about a half hour, a doctor released me with instructions to eat a proper meal and drink plenty of fluids. We made our way to Wesley’s room where mum and Jason were waiting. Jason got up and then the adults left the room so I could have a minute with him alone.

As soon as we were by ourselves, I took his hand in mine and began talking to him. I told him what he had missed in school, and how bored Chloe was without him there. Then I began to pour my heart out to him, saying, “Wes, I don’t know how you feel about me, but I need you to know that I love you, and I’m waiting on you to come back. You can’t leave us--your dad and me--we both need you to wake up so you can bring a little joy into our lives. I need to see your smile and those emerald green eyes of yours. Please don’t leave me.” When I went to get up, I felt my hand being squeezed. I took that as a sign that he heard me and was fighting his way back. I told Jason about it, and he too had felt his hand being squeezed as well.

A little later the doctor came by and informed us that they would start to wean him off the drugs that induced his coma in the morning, but it could take a while for them to wear off, and then it was up to Wesley to wake up. After hearing that, I had faith that he would come back to us, and even more that he would come back to me so we could be together.