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The Saint is the Sinner.docx

A reader emailed an article written by a woman detailing her struggles finding acceptance for both herself and her partner. The story details them sort of falling into life in an RV, and making their own path. It's a great read, and she has wonderfully perceptive views. Take a look. Gay and Lesbian RV Living After I read it, I was curious; I followed the link in the article to the campground in Florida called The Sawmill. And there it is. A warmer, sunnier, more tanned, though less social-justice leaning version of the campground in my series, Camp Refuge. The Sawmill is a place to party. It's a place to go, have fun outdoors, eat good food, socialize with others. But that's not all it is, and I'll explain why. The simple fact remains, we have to be careful where we display affection. We have to have constant situational awareness, and assess if a peck on the cheek, or holding the hand of the person we love will cost too much moment to moment. But at a place like this campground, we can just be. We can have fun with people like us, and do so unafraid. Even though the focus of the place is "party and party hard" it still offers a respite. It makes me want to make Camp Refuge real. I mean, I've never stopped wanting that, but yeah ... this has poked that desire and whispered, "See? If they can do it, so can you." Someday.

For discussion of themes and topics. The book can be found here: https://www.gayauthors.org/story/timothy-m/cluelesscamping

*by entering your name on search results this content is build up from* *the first name length is maximum 5 characters* *the second name 15 characters* *the text uses unicode where some marks may not be seen* *location for embedding is on beta level* The following story is real based story from north of *location#. Old days there were no precautions or fear to be scared about. These two old boys lived on it videoing it experiencing on it. Take a look It was that morning not so long time ago Veiko Nuottajarvi took his pants away in town of *location# north of *location#. Patrick this man who he namely knew only just few decades put his small penis in Nuottajarvi's snatch. In the air was smell or rather a scent of turpentine. They were old boys Veiko and Patrick now nakedry in secretly at old boat builder's warehouse. Is it a werewolf is it a kiwi fruit that so goodly old man's tailbone's neighbor. They were two mermaids of ocean world and full of secret awe on their retirement and vacation. Weird haired boy Veiko Nuottajarvi enjoyed the strict smell as Patrick took his backyard behind the spa. They were on the same boat taking the broth. Though further and lower as Nuottajarvi was. Took all but in. Ranks were the captain that took now peasant's load nakedry at boatry to the old man's trust or chamber of secret behind. Floor blanks whined Nuottajarvi hallucinating the wave of a newly built boat on the sails with an aim. Little fart escaped the crack as slight drops of poop travelled on Veiko's thighs. But that's about it neitherless to say best were the days only if gathered some seeds of wisdom in the old men's common sense. And the air smelled turpentine as poop fought back the undergrown clitoris was the wisdom never harvested or ripe. Old were the days once Veiko Nuottajarvi's cap was a mermaid haired and such thing as a dance that Veiko Nuottajarvi had was not yet a big deal. Mermaid could be a friend and missing awe just old days without blames. No one to say that a friend could't be for a friend. Out of must just the old smell of rope and turpentine and two boys once again connected same old days reminding the pull that used to be holding tight

Welcome to the discussion thread for CJ’s series. All things CJ are fair game, I simply ask you be respectful of others. I will actively participate in the discussion. Ask questions, speculate about what’s coming, or bitch about what happened. We’re now open for business!

As the number of MetaBooks continues to grow, this forums allows to exchange thoughts on the MetaWolf saga; esp. complaints and ranting about cliffhangers, ambiguous hints and politically incorrect statements. So far, this is supposed to cover: MetaWolf 1: Meta (complete) https://www.gayauthors.org/story/johnar/meta MetaWolf 2: MetaOrigins (complete) https://www.gayauthors.org/story/johnar/metaorigins MetaWolf 3: MetaShadowLands (in progress) https://www.gayauthors.org/forums/story/johnar/metashadowlands MetaWolf 4: MetaBattles (soon to come) MetaWolf 5: MetaDeaths (written) MetaWolf 6: MetaProphecies (70% written) MetaWolf 7: MetaEndings (planned) MetaWolf 8: Fate (potential short story) and MetaPrompts (in progress) https://www.gayauthors.org/story/johnar/metaprompts

I thought since I've made a few chapters for my first story on this site I'd make a discussion thread for it. It seems to have garnered a good reception so far which I am quite pleased about. Feel free to ask any questions you might have about the story's world, the characters themselves, or other elements that might strike your fancy. Whether or not I'll properly answer said questions depends on how spoiler heavy I feel the answer would be. I'm interested to hear what people who've read it so far think.

Hey everyone, how are we doing? My name is vanalas and i am a new author here. I have already completed one series and i just started my second one. Please, check out 'destined hearts' and help support me, critic me and lead me on the right path. Thank you so much.

I see that this wonderful story hasn't received a thread yet. Let the discussion begin. We keep talking about the fact that Declan is eventually going to figure out what Bailey's been doing, but its interesting to note that he's had a few opportunities to ask about it now, and he's chosen not to. I think that Declan already knows what's going on, and he doesn't want to make it more real by talking about it. It's not in his normal character, but I think we've seen that when Bailey's involved that Declan doesn't act in ways he normally acts.

This is part of the new story entitled "LUCID LOVE" which I actually started writing some time ago. The actual story has changed from time to time, and is somewhat based on someone that I actually that I met a few years ago. No, the story is "FAKE" but some of the feelings and emotional connection are based on this person that knew. The story is MATURE CONTENT and the segment that I'm posting here for feedback does contain MATURE CONTENT. I'm hoping to get back into writing as soon as possible and I'm going head strong with this project as long as the passion burns of course. Even if no one likes it I'll probably keep going with it because I actually enjoy just escaping with my words. -----------------------------------------------------

(mom, or someone else) " I speed-dialled 'DADDY' from your phone - but it wasn't your father that answered!"

Lucid Love is my new story that I'm working on and right now I'm two chapters in and I can't wait to go on with chapter three. I guess it's because I am a writer that I keep working on it - I can't just sit here and do nothing because I don't write that great. Lol. Even though I may not be a good writer, or good enough to entertain people then I'm still going to work on this project. Why? Because it's a story that I really want to write. This story involves the emotional connection that I had with someone just a few years ago and I actually still have feelings for (Ooops! Really?) He was quite a nice guy that gave me that special feeling, and actually made me feel special. I posted a section of the story in the Sneak Peak section of the Writers Circle, and I thought for those that actually read my blog that I would give you the complete chapter one: So this is my new adventure that I'm working on, and I hope that someone will enjoy it and be a little intrigued to wanna see more. Over time, yes the writing will hopefully get better but at least hopefully I can tell a story that people would want to read. Hopefully! Because I have a ton more ideas that I would like to put down, but I better take some time and focus on my current project - Lucid Love

Zachary Miller was having a good life until he finally came out, to his surprise his parents hated him & sent him to his uncles... One thing that was said by his uncle before school started was that "Craziness runs in the family kid"

For topics and themes in Changes (I'm honored to create the first story discussion forum for Promising Author, Mikiesboy )

Has anyone come across the story deviant magic?

Hey everybody--wanted to create a discussion forum for my new story, "The Best Four Years of Adam Becker." Adam Becker wants out. Out of the shadow of his popular big brother, out from his stifling D.C. prep school, out from the political spotlight of his high-ranking Republican father. So when he heads off on his own to college in New Orleans, one year post-Katrina, he gets more than he bargained for: four years of friendship, love, secrets, hurricanes, and debauchery--his best four years yet. I started writing this story about two years ago. I was going through a difficult breakup--my boyfriend had moved to New York, and I had no intention of leaving D.C. I was also leaving my first job out of college, at a political nonprofit, and I intended to write a novel about my experiences in the 2012 election cycle. But I couldn't get past the first chapter. And, after writing the same iteration of the same opening scene over and over again, I figured I'd rewind a bit--and write a fictional series loosely based on my memories from college, and what was going on in my life. I never intended anyone to read this: this was my way of creating on on-ramp to the eventual novel, sharpening my skills, and getting words on a page. I've written the story through the beginning of senior year--but over the last six months or so, I felt my energy beginning to wane. So I figured I would edit it, chapter by chapter, and put it online here--find an audience, and feel like I'm writing for someone, rather than into the abyss. So far, no one's read this but me--even my college friends, who provided a lot of character and plot inspiration, have read only brief excerpts--but I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading!

From Changes, Again - Chapter 1 The Party. This is the first story i've written where i've brought back characters. It was from something @droughtquake mentioned at the end of Changes. I thank him for it made me think and i decided there was a story there. Posting will begin mid-January. I hope you enjoy... Rena and Robert arrived first. Never ones to arrive empty handed, they brought a glorious bunch of tulips—in purple, soft violet and white—and nice ready-chilled wine. We settled in the living room with a glass of the sweet white. I was feeling good and just wanted to drink enough to feel happy and mellow. We had sipped our way through our first glasses, when Robert spoke up. "Um, hope you don't mind but I really need a word with Don. I'd like to before we get too happy and before dinner. I can smell those potatoes, Louis." I looked at Don who replied with a tight-lipped smile. Okay, so you're saying nothing. Rena wasn't giving up anything either. "Sure, you two go over to the office and I'll set the table and stuff, but when Harry and Gareth arrive, I'll send them to fetch you." "Don't mind them, Louis. I'll help you." Rena got up and put her arm through mine. I smiled at her. We picked up empty wine glasses and followed Robert and Don. Don rolled forward toward the kitchen. The door there was closest to his office. "We'll likely be back before then. Don't worry, babe. We'll have a good time tonight." Not wanting to ruin the mood, I bent and kissed him. "You two go. It's fine, Donny." Robert patted my shoulder and then grabbed the handles on Don's chair. "Don's right. We won't be long." After the door closed, I turned to Rena. "Do you know what's going on?" "I don't. Frankly, Robert's been quiet this afternoon. I asked if everything was okay, and he said it was. Just that he needed to get something important at work resolved, sooner rather than later." I pulled a deep violet and white checked tablecloth out of the bottom drawer in the kitchen island, and put it on the table. Atop that, I put Rena and Robert's flowers; it felt like spring. As we adjusted the cloth and laid out the tableware, Rena asked, "How is the birthday trip plan going?" "Pretty good. I was thinking Sonoma County in California, it's supposed to be wheelchair friendly. Lots of things to do, including tasting lots of wine, and lots of sunshine." "That sounds lovely, but you know Don will go wherever you want to go." "I know, but I wanted us both to relax, and being wheelchair friendly just took away one worry." "Well, if you want to go to Sonoma County, you do that." Rena smoothed a corner of the tablecloth. "The table is beautiful." I checked the potatoes, which were nearly done. I'd just turned down the oven when the doorbell rang. I smiled at Rena and walked to the front door. Gareth and Harry stood there together, grinning like schoolboys. Harry was in his early fifties now, but still as gorgeous and sexy as he always had been. Gareth was my age, cute in a young Jeffrey Dean Morgan sort of way; always with a warm smile. Each of them carried a bottle of wine. "Come on in. It's good to see you guys." Gareth hugged me first. "You look great, Louis! Where is that sexy man of yours?" "Out in the office with Robert. They'll be back shortly." Harry was next. He released me after a warm hug and said, "You want me to go and get them?" "No … you two come in. I'll go out there," Rena said, as she joined us, greeting Harry and Gareth with a hug. "I'll run out there now." She returned to the kitchen and went out the back door. Harry took Gareth's bottle and handed both to me, the Cabernet Sauvignon was a magnum. "As usual, we couldn't choose between red or white, so we brought both!" "Thank you. I'll put them in the kitchen. Do you want a drink?" I said over my shoulder as I walked. "Harry, sit down, I'll help Louis." After giving his husband a peck and a pat, Gareth joined me. He picked up the corkscrew and started to open the red. "This is Harry's favourite." I poured a glass of white for Rena, one for myself, and for Gareth. "It's a generous gift, thanks. Will you pour one for Robert and Don as well please?" "Sure." Gareth did as asked. "How are you Louis? Seems like forever since we've seen you two." "We're good, thanks. You both look like you are as well." Gareth picked up the glass of white I'd passed him. "We are. Harry and I are just back from New York. He was there for a publisher's conference. I was able to get time off to go with him." "Hey! I'm lonely out here!" Harry called from the living room. "And worse, I'm thirsty." Gareth and I laughed. "You take your man his wine, and I'll pop the hors d'oeuvres in the oven to heat up." "Thanks." Gareth picked up his husband's wine and glanced out the window. "It appears yours is on his way in too. See you in the living room." I glanced out. "Finally. Then we can get this party started!" I put the tray of small pastries in the oven to heat. Though I was curious as to what was going on, I just wanted to enjoy our get-together, so I shoved my questions to the back of my mind. It could be nothing, but frankly it felt like a huge secret. The backdoor opened and the three of them came into the kitchen. I handed Rena and Robert glasses of wine, and they continued on through to the living room. Don smiled. "I'll go out in a bit and start the barbeque. Something smells good. Do you need my help in here?" "There's a glass of wine there for you. I'll bring it. Can you carry these plates and napkins?" "Sure, Lous." He took the small plates and napkins and put them on his knees, and rolled out to the living room. I followed with our wine. Don had put the napkins and plates on the coffee table. "Here's your wine, Don. Harry brought that excellent Cabernet you like." Don sipped. "Mmmm, yeah this is nice. Thanks, Harry. Thanks for coming everyone! Now, if you don't mind I have a quick speech to make." We all groaned; Donny's speeches were rarely short. He eyed each of us. "No groaning. I can smell food, so that means I have to hurry. Now, as you know it is my beautiful husband's birthday in a few weeks. As we'll be away, I thought we could wish him an early Happy Birthday today." I wasn't prepared for this and nearly slid off my perch on the arm of our sofa. Five faces turned to me, each of them smiling. Then a chorus of Happy Birthday rang out. Once they’d finished, we were all laughing, and I appealed for quiet. "You guys … wow, thank you so much. I appreciate it. Now, I better get those canapes out or they will be burnt!" Practically running into the kitchen to escape, I leaned on the counter to breathe. Relief coursed through me. They'd just been planning this little celebration of my birthday. Worrying over nothing again, Louis.

I recently discovered "coming out on top" by Obscurasoft. Has someone here ever played it? If so, what were/are your impressions?

Love, we all believe in it and hope one day to find it. While growing up we will learn many different types of love, from your family, the love of a friend and of course the love someone special gives you. In stories we are told that one day you will find the one and all will begin to fall into place, as if there really is just one person that will come sweep you off your feet? This often leading you to believe that out there only one person will ever love you fully. So why is it when we are single you see yourself differently? Why must we be down on ourselves because we have not found love? Throughout life many people will come and go, while at times we may think what we have found is true love. So really how do you know you’re in love? In my opinion there can be levels of love you feel for another, each one for a different reason. I had a friend once tell me they felt each man she had loved helped to prepare her for the one she ended up with. This made me think back too the different men that I had felt there had been some kind of love with. Before I wrote about someone called X, although that was somewhat more of a friendship there was still some else more. I’m not sure I would say I was in love, but there was love between us. We went through a lot together so what it grew to steamed from a kind of love. It made me think of the time of life and the events we were both facing. There had been a lot of ups and downs for us both so when we were there to pick up the pieces it created a love. With your friends you do love them and then if sex is involved it changes the entire game. Now why is it when it comes to love we see it as a game, the game of love? I often wondered was that because we seldom won and when you lost it was a gamble? With X it always felt as if it were a game, usually he held all the cards and never allowed me to roll the dice. So in all honestly this could only be considered as a love of a very close friend, one you had sex with. Even if you both did have feeling for each other and felt a strong connection you may not be in love, but who’s to say with X any ways. The way we depended on each other or how often we had sex made you believe it was more than just a friendship. I knew I did love him and from his actions I knew he loved me as well, but that love wasn’t strong enough to hold us together. When it comes to dating bi-curious men most times it’s just for the fun, yet there are times your feelings truly do get involved. Each man is different some just look for the thrill of the experience, but there are a few that also are looking for a little more. There was this guy I dated we will just call SI, he was a very sweet man, but also on the down low. For him though it was more of the fact he was still figuring himself out, along with trying to see if he preferred men over women, since he was bisexual. When we first met no one knew about him yet, he was still unsure himself, although from the first day we hung out we both felt this connection to each other we had never felt before. There was something different about SI not only was he a little more open about his sexuality, he was also more open about me. We began to hang out quite often and let me tell you the man knew how to take you out. Every date was more exciting than the last and each time he grew more comfortable with the possibility of settling with a man. SI wasn’t afraid to meet my friends, plus when we were out he made sure people knew we were together. When you finally found a man that was excited to show the world you were together you did all you could to keep him happy. Together SI and I made sure we both were happy, it was as if we had found the one, the one you thought may never come. Each time we went out the connection between us grew stronger and the sex was probably some of the best I’d ever had. This was turning into a real relationship and I was nothing but excited for the outcome. Of course life never allows you to be truly happy because soon SI had some family stuff to take care of and he left New York for a while. We wanted to wait for each other only he felt that was unfair to me so we took a break. The promise was once he returned we would pick up right where we left off, let’s hope right? Dating men in general can be very confusing most men find it hard to express the smallest of emotion. There had been this guy that I call Man, Man was the type of guy that showed you all of the romance and made sure to share his feeling with you. When we first started dating I felt everything was going in the right direction, not only did he make sure to plan nice dates, he also did all he could to make you know he was interested in you. He said the right words and had a way of making you feel as the most important person in the world. The thing that was different about Man was that he began to use the word love very early on, in fact he made sure we both did, for a bi-curious man that was a first. It was nice finding someone that wanted this as much as I did and as the months past he only made sure to make me fall for him more. So was this really love, or were we just in love with the idea of it? Either way he was the first and only man that I had ever met who rushed a relationship to the level we ended up on. I always assumed he was just a romantic or even someone that just really wanted a relationship then you wonder if it could have been love at sight? The love with Man was a forced love, one he craved for his own satisfaction and in the end he did make me fall for him. This love was not the same has I had felt for SI, shit even X. Every person will bring a certain love to you, some may be for good reasons while others may be to help you grow. In a way I guess to teach us what true love really is. The way I see it each guy you date and fall for may not be the one, or even anything more than a friend, but there is love there. We are human we want affection and in all honesty we can’t control who gets into our hearts or who we may care for. Something we all forget to do when thinking back at the lost loves of our lives is think what was it that they actually provided for you? The first thing we think about is why they left and could I have done anything different? Next is always how are they now and what are they doing? The third thing always is the I miss them and thinking what the future could have been like with them. We all do it and trust me I know I have many times, its like we need to have some sort of fantasy in our minds that we need to hold on too a little longer. I often felt we do this to ourselves only because of the fact that they got away from us. Friends always used to say your heart will always want what it can’t have, so does that mean our hearts don’t understand love? Love can be a strange thing one that is hard to let go even when there is nothing left between you and the other person. Whether you are dating a bi-curious man or not you can’t be too sure as to what you are really feeling. Take this other bi-curious man I was seeing for a while it was this guy I’ll call FL for first love. Now this story I have yet to tell and chances are I may never, but one thing I will talk about is the love we had for each other. This was one of those secret relationships you have in high school, you know the kind where you feel you need to hide your true feelings since someone was still in the closet. I was out back then already and sadly to this day I’m sure he still hasn’t told anyone. We had a thing that started when we were both young, you know that curious time where you had to be sure as to what you really wanted. Now as we both grew up the feelings we had grew as well, making it harder to say goodbye to each other when we both had to go our separate ways. The first love is always one that really makes you think back and remember the happiness it brought you. So dating bi-curious men can always be fun but the times that love gets involved it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a bad thing. Look at the men I spoke about each one gave me a certain type of love and helped me grow to be where I am now. X showed me that love between two good friends could lead to more which sometimes can be the one thing you needed. People say a good relationship can come from a good friendship. Even though X and I didn’t last long it helped me to accept the fact that friends can fall in love. Then look at SI the one man that showed me love from a DL man can still be about romance. The love we had helped us both to only seek something that would truly satisfy you, in fact his love made me realize I was worth it. SI only wanted to keep me happy and make sure I needed for nothing. The love we had was something true, a love you often don’t find, but it gave me hope and sometimes that is all you have. Man was the love that was on the border of lust. The kind that was more of a sexual love that made you appreciate a man that wanted to please you and make you feel beyond good. Although this love wasn’t anything to really think about or long for it still showed you a man can love you and give you the kind of sex you only hear about. With Man I will always look back at the little love and the amazing sex we had together. So it in a way it was the love of sex and passion we had for each other. FL’s love is the one that will always leave you searching and looking for another love. In all reality this is the love that makes you crave something so much more. If you really think about it the first love is always the one that leaves you wanting more while being happy you were able to love at all. Most first loves will never last but it leaves you happy that someone gave you that love you were unsure you would ever find. Love can be a funny thing and at times we find ourselves doing any and everything to keep it. So what happens when you think you have found the one, but you may not be the one for them???

Secrets, we all have them and for some reason we feel obligated to keep them. Even after the friendship has ended or the trust has been broken. I guess we always hold on to that little hope that we may go back to what once was. With friends we often hold all their secrets as they hold ours, only what happens if you become the secret? What if you are now the thing they must be kept hidden? At times we never stop and think about that, its always the secrets we hold. What of the other person? So ask yourself this, have I ever been the secret? While dealing with down low or bi-curious men you are often one of their biggest secrets. During the time when we are trying to figure out our sexuality you never let that question cross your mind, it is as if you really don’t mind. When we get older and begin to really date someone you start to wonder what this relationship really is then you may come up with a different relationship in your mind. Sometimes we think if we put it out there it will happen, you know the whole positive energy thing. Only how far can that really take it? Men for some reason find it much harder to accept that they may be gay or bisexual which leads to them creating these secrets. So trust me when I say I have been that secret more than I can count, yet three men stick out in my head more. Now it wasn’t because of the fact I was a secret more or less the reason why I had to be one. First one that came to mind is the guy I knew I just call Hairy, why you ask, because he was extremely hairy. He was one of those very sweet and caring men, the guy you knew would make the perfect boyfriend. Now we had been friends for a while and honestly I had been there for him during some crazy times when it came to his family or girlfriend. What can I say I always try to be a great friend for everyone, maybe I shouldn’t have? After a few weeks of helping Hairy out with his crazy family and his annoying girlfriend he decided to take me out for a nice dinner. Of course he stated it was a thank you meal and I believed him. It turned out being a fun night, not to mention a fancy restaurant in midtown. Sometimes I wondered about him and is preference when it came to dating, I mean he always joked about dating me. So after this first dinner he made it a point to take me out at least twice a week for about a month. Then the early morning text messages began and the phone calls just to check in. For the most part I feel into this and allowed him to slowly make me the man he secretly went out with. One night after dinner Hairy drove me home and as we sat in his car he finally made a move. He kissed me and after all we had been through I couldn’t fight back. We sat there for a good ten minutes lips locked while our hands searched the other’s body. Finally he stopped and that was when he came clean and told me what he was wanting this to be. Apparently he had been trying to figure out a way to not only sleep with me, but to create a special relationship between us. He liked men and only dated women because of his family. You see he came from a very wealthy background and in order for him to get his inheritance he had to marry a women and have at least one child. For years he had kept the same girl around to hopefully get his money. He promised me that once he had he would buy an apartment, a place for us, he would make me his boyfriend, although he would marry the girl, and we would spend as much time together as we could. He told me that I was the man he wanted to spend as much of his life as he could with and that he would be able to leave the wife once he had everything. Don’t get me wrong it was tempting and it was nice to meet a man that was welling to jump through hoops for you. Only this wouldn’t be a real relationship as long as I was to remain the secret it would never be anything real. He would keep me in the shadows and still live the life he felt he was supposed to in public, how great is that? I mean really how many lies must you create just to get everything you wanted? Not just that what about the wife and kid? Being a man’s secret lover was one thing, but to be pulled into a while secret life and potentially family made this secret one that could really hurt a lot of people. I may have gotten myself into some crazy situations before only this is too TV movie even for me. So Hairy was welling to have a secret man for the rest of his life, he was okay with lying to the world only to get what he truly wanted, money. Really how important is money or acceptance from people that wouldn’t love you for you? If you are okay with setting someone else up only to be left alone in the dark how could I be sure it wouldn’t be me in the end he threw out like the trash? Hairy was a nice guy and all, but I was about to create a whole life that could only destroy someone else’s. I said no and that was when I saw the true man behind him. First came the fighting then the threatening if I told anyone. Second was the mean and nasty comments about me, he trying to put me down as much as he could. Third was he begging me to change my mind and promising me more then he could probably offer. Lastly came Hairy blaming me saying I made him think he was gay and I was crazy. All I could say was bye and that was the end of him. The next guy was this man I call V. Now V was your sexy, well off New York business man, the kind of man you saw on TV and the movies. He had that sexy tatted up body, which he kept hidden under his expensive suits, and the personality that you dreamed of, not to mention we had some amazing sex. He was that type of guy you heard stories about so when he made the move on you, you knew you had to have him. So when he told me I was someone he wanted I couldn’t say no. I know, I know this wasn’t the best thing to do. V and I create a secret relationship, one that went on for a few years. Now he wasn’t as available as I would like, but he made sure to talk to me every day, it was as if he understood how to make this work. On days I felt alone I would randomly receive a gift from him. Then when he knew he wouldn’t be able to see me when I needed he made sure to plan the best date I had ever gone on for the following weekend. He did more than just impress me, V made sure I would never consider leaving him. In all reality this could have been the perfect relationship, one where you could see yourself settling down together. He was one of those successful men that always had a certain front people knew him by. Everyone saw him has this macho, athletic, woman’s man, kind of guy. I heard the stories of all the girls he had before and all of the girls that threw themselves at him. V was the man that every guy looked up too, the guy they all wanted to be friends with. It was as if every time he came into a room people demanded he know them so they could say they were friends. I guess I could honestly say V had the perfect life, the girl to show off, a great job, people that wanted him or wanted to be him, and now a man on the side. So just because you had this persona people saw do you really have to live up to it? Why is that? Why must people worry so much what others think or say that they would actually live a lie? So you would rather be unhappy and drag other people down with you? I guess the real problem was why was I welling to fall into this mess and allow him to use me when he needed. The thing was he knew how to keep me happy and what I needed to feel this was real, sadly it would never be what I wanted or needed it to be. Some people may be okay with actually being nothing to a person, besides a person to fulfill a fantasy with. At this time I really didn’t think I could handle that anymore. I’m not sure if he ever sought out another man for his secret boyfriend all I knew was it couldn’t be me. The last guy I actually didn’t understand the reasoning behind him wanting to even keep our friendship a secret. I’m just going to call him L, so L and I had known each other for a few years. He recently was going through a divorce and had been taking it pretty bad. Only that didn’t stop him from his dating a few different girls, or so he told people. One day he was upset about a girl he was trying to date, or should I support. Apparently they had gone out on two dates which meant dinner and shopping of course he paid for everything. So when she decided she wasn’t feeling him he came crawling to me for support. It’s funny how these guys always saw me as that shoulder to cry on. Since I was being the good friend I decided to take L out for some drinks and let him get everything off his chest. So after at least three drinks L was more than ready to open up and let me tell you the things he shared with me were very surprising. He ended up coming back to my place where he continued to complain about his life and how much he hated everything in it. Soon he went on to say how important my friendship had become to him and he was thankful for me. So when he asked to spend the night and if I would hold him until he feel asleep I said yes. After that night L started coming over a lot more and he was calling me every day, multiple times in fact. I was starting to look forward to our conversations and we actually had fun going out. The funny part for me was that even though we were just friends L kept me a secret. None of his friends knew about me and I was never invited out, unless it were just he and I. I did invite him out when I had something going on and all he would say was it would be better if people didn’t know, didn’t know what? Maybe he was one of those guys that didn’t want people to know he was friends with a gay man or the fact that we cuddled at least one night a week. Our friendship went on for a few more weeks and then things changed. One night L and I had gone out for a few drinks. When we got back to my place was when we moved into the physical side. To my surprise the next morning he woke me up kissing me, in fact we had sex again a couple of times. So much for him being straight, then again maybe he was just curious? Now was when L and I became more like boyfriends, he started calling me babe and made it very clear I could not see any other men. Whenever we hung out we would have sex, and of course he did all he could to keep me in the background of his life. L was actually treating me pretty good for this being a secret relationship, he knew how to be an amazing boyfriend. I wasn’t sure as to why I had to be this big secret, okay maybe now that we were sexual I could see why. Then I look back to when we were just friends and wondered why I had to be hidden then. My guess was that he must have had feelings for me before and wasn’t sure how to react. Or maybe he just needed someone and had nowhere else to turn, since I was a good friend he let something more happen with me. Yet that still didn’t answer as to why he wanted to keep our friendship a secret. The secret relationship L and I had created went on for only another month or so. Finally I worked up the nerve to ask him why he never wanted people to know he and I were friends. Then I asked why he allowed our friendship to change into a relationship. The last question I asked was if he really saw something serious with me or if this was just his way to fulfill a fantasy he always had. Sadly L provided me no answers, he became angry that I would even consider this anything real. Although he did say he never wanted any of his friends to know he was gay. He left and to this day we have yet to talk about what really went on between us. All I know is he blocked me and I did try to reach out to him once just to check in, which I never got any responses back. Three different men that chose to keep me a secret in their life, all for very different reasons. Hairy, was gay and only wanted to make sure he got his family money. V, bisexual that wanted to have it all. Then L a gay man so afraid to admit he was that he would do all he could to remain straight. So in a sense looking from the outside in you would think these were just your everyday bi-curious men that wanted to enjoy the company of another man, only we don’t stop to think what secrets they are truly hiding? We all have secrets, but how far would you go to keep one? Some men decide to stay on the down low and fulfill that urge once in a while, then you have a few that want a secret relationship with a man. So let me ask you this, what do you think would happen if their were actual feelings involved? What if someone feel in love?

Friends there isn’t anything you wouldn’t do for them. When growing up they become your second family, in fact they can be the people you count on the most. If you look back we all had that one friend that you could never say no too. In most cases it’s someone of the same sex, only being a gay man it can be a girl. Now for me I always had that one guy friend as well. You know the one friend you knew you had each other’s backs, yet sometimes you had to question how far the friendship would go? I had this friend I’m just going to call Bro. Now with Bro I wouldn’t call it a relationship, it was more of a Bro-mance. I had met him while living in Brooklyn and at first I was unsure if he and I would even be friends. I had been told by many people he was a little homophobic. So at first I made sure to just treat him with respect and not spend too much time with him. As the weeks began to pass Bro and I learned we had a lot in common. We seemed to be able to open up with each other more than we could with other friends. What can I say you should never judge people off their sexuality or the gossip you hear. You honestly never know why they may have come into your life. With Bro there was a reason why we both had, only I don’t think we fully understood the why. Our friendship began to grow throughout the years and we became the others best friend. There wasn’t anything we wouldn’t tell each other and we spent most of our free time together. It was beginning to feel as if we only had each other out in this world. When it came to bad dates or horrible breakups we were the first person the other would call. Having a friend that you could truly count on is a must. For years we were those friends that spoke every day. There was honestly no secret that we kept from each other, or so we thought. With a friendship like this you often wondered why you would need anyone else? It made you feel as if you would always belong. Even when one of us found ourselves talking to someone we made sure to always include the other. Not saying third wheel type, only looking at it now it really was. For Bro and myself things began to change one night when we went out he was sure he had found a girl to go home with, sadly things didn’t turn out that way. We went back to my place as he complained the entire time about how horny he was. I played it all off as any friend would so back at my place we drank some more. He was the first to crash so when I was ready I climbed into the bed next to him. Yes, we usually slept in the same bed, I mean why not we were friends right? The moment my head hit the pillow it happened. Bro got on top of me kissing me so forcefully I couldn’t help but give in. That night we crossed a line most friendships didn’t, yet it felt right. Only I don’t think either of us ever thought this would happen. A close friendship between a straight man and a gay man usually only stayed a friendship. The thing was we had something closer than most which was why I should have paid more attention to our actions. Look at Bro and I as the years went on, so we hung out together more than we ever had with someone we were actually dating. Yes, we enjoyed the others company, but shouldn’t we want to be with a significant other more? When it came to needing help or someone to lean on we seemed to be the others emergency contact. It was as if we had this unspoken commitment to the other, one stronger than any other bond we had. At times we’d joke about living together and just having fun. Whether it be whoring it up or just partying we figured we’d be happier together. Now what straight man would suggest that with a gay man? So after our first night of connecting on a sexual level Bro disappeared for a few months. I knew he was going to need to figure things out. I mean he had just had sex with his gay best friend and he’s supposed to be straight. That could make anyone think and trust me, I was too. There wasn’t a day I thought about it and why we hadn’t stopped.I decided as Bro took his time away from me I’d leave him alone. He needed to get over things in his head and I too wanted to find understanding in this. Now I wouldn’t say there were feelings between us, yet I was starting to see our friendship differently.Finally the day came and Bro wanted to meet up to grab a drink. The best thing was once we were together it was as if nothing had ever happened. Neither of us brought up that night nor did we question the time apart. We were just the same friends back in our Bro-mance. We drank and caught up on our lives. It was nice being out with him. Bro always seemed to know how to put me in a great mood. That night we once again took the step into sexual territory only this time he seemed more eager and interested in what we had. Maybe all Bro needed was some time away because from that night on we were back to what we had always been. We began to spend almost every day together it was almost as if we both needed each other more than we were willing to accept. There was this unspoken thing between us. Like most bi-curious men he would never admit nor say this was anything more than what made him comfortable with it. Bro and I had truly made a new type of friendship/dating between a gay man and a “straight,” or should I say bi-curious man. We had all the best qualities of a friendship, yet we had the best parts of a relationship. Nothing about this Bro-mance bored the other we went out a lot and of course we had sex multiple times a day. I felt lucky to have Bro as I did in my life. Nothing seemed to stand in our way I guess when it came to us we had destroyed all boundaries and created new rules in this called friendship. Here I thought we had beat the game and showed the world it didn’t matter who you chose to be with.As things felt that they were coming to the best life throws you a curve ball. A Bro-mance, a private and special relationship between two men, in most cases, whether they admit it or not, sex may be involved. The two of you can and will do any and everything together. With this type of friendship no one’s judgement will matter, in fact all that you care about is what your bro thinks. Bro and I had a great Bro-mance, yet there is still a lot more to this story. Some stories will always continue on and with Bro you will need to find the rest. You see when it comes to certain stories we often feel they are better left a secret, but really why do we keep secrets? Secrets, we often feel out of respect you keep them for the people you cherish the most. In the case of Bro I kept our secret, in all reality this is the first time I’m telling the story. So let me make this clear I’m not telling my Bi-Curious stories to expose people more or less to share experiences. You see I have many secrets some I had chosen to keep hidden. Only now, with this story and the next, I felt it was time to let you all see what it’s honestly like to date a bi-curious man. I feel most tales have it all wrong, it’s not all happy endings and falling in love. The secret is they really are just secrets, while with the truth, do you think you will be able to handle it???

What should I do Military Related?

I may be way out on the left field on this one. I don't believe in posting chapters as my story unfolds. I always wait until my whole book is completed before I post any chapters. My reason is that too often I begin reading a good story and then it finishes in mid stream; you have to wait until the author gets around to completing the story. This can take an unknown amount of time, so I usually forget the story and move on to one that has been 'completed'. It's hard to comment on a story that is incomplete.

If you like hysterical, oh, I mean historical romances then you might like something I've been writing. I started writing it last year but got bogged down in too many other things and wanted to finish The Seashell first. With that book finished I was able to add Souvenir back into my writing rotation. The story is a first person narrative in a diary style similar to Brandon Smiling and that's done purposefully. If you follow Brandon then you might enjoy Souvenir all the more for reasons you might catch as you read this memoir of Lord Cedrick Temple, Duke of Buckingham. I've tried to write this as a period piece with the time period covered being just before and during World War I in England. The language may be a little challenging, but hopefully enjoyable. It's a challenge to write but fun too. So, without any further adieu I bring you: