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Found 11 results

  1. SP and I got married yesterday -- the 1-yr anniversary of our first date. We'll need to take off Monday morning to return the license to the court clerk.
  2. SP and I are going to start pre-marriage counseling next week. Expect it to be a bit rough, but good in the long run. There are things in his past he thinks he's dealt with, that I don't think he has. We've had a few difficult conversations the last week -- not helped by my pain level having been extremely high for three days now -- but we'll work through things.
  3. It's a funny thing, marriage. We go through life together my husband and I. We work, commute, shop, watch TV, cook, eat, shower, make love, laugh, talk and all the other things we do, together each day. Often by rote. Often without a lot of thought. I care for him during those times he is in the troughs of depression. When he's ill. When he's afraid. During the nights when nightmares of the past haunt him. It's my duty as his partner to be there for him. It isn't a chore, it's a privilege to be married to him, and to be there for him. But life is filled with cycles. We go through them and sometimes I just wake up and see him. Who he really is and what he means to me. In those moments I know what love is. And it's so intense it takes my breath away. As I fall in love with him all over again.
  4. I know I’ve said this before; I always wanted a marriage like my parents have. Of course, I knew it wouldn’t be traditional, given the fact I am Gay, but I wanted it all the same. As I hung with friends, played baseball and hockey, went through school, I came to realize I was often assuming a dominant position, and often asked to lead. It was sort of a natural thing. I ended up in school taking criminology and socio-legal studies, and received my degree. I went on to become a police officer and eventually a detective. While I was still a uniformed officer, I accepted who I was: a Dominant Sadist. I read and spoke to people and dipped my toes into the world of BDSM, and D/s. I met John, a friend and mentor who was also a cop at the time. I learned more and dated. Submissive men were attracted and attractive to me. Yet it was an unsettled life. The boys came and went. I still wanted to find, him—the one. I’ve written about that before, meeting tim. We have been together now for ten years, married for nine of them. We have had ups and downs. We have made mistakes, yet we remain together. Recently, when our anniversary was upon us, we talked about why and what our relationship is, and means. We both feel we are as strong as we are because of our chosen lifestyle: D/s. It is a journey. The relationship between us a living thing. Love needs tending. It needs thought and touch. It needs the everyday small things. There are few arguments in our house, because we both accept our roles within our relationship. When you accept that, there is little to fight about. In our case our life needs discipline, strictness, pain, honesty and above all else, it needs trust. tim’s trust and belief in me is at its strongest now, I think. It is a fine line, this place of Dom/boy/husbands. Yet, it can work. You both must want it and you must both be headed in the same direction. Our destination is the horizon. After ten years you’d think things and feelings would wane. Last night tim, was tired. I put him to bed with his natural calm and some reading. He fell asleep and when I returned, I settled him down. I lay with him, holding him to me. He pushed back and moved in my arms, telling me of his desire. Wiggling … still after all these years. Those feelings still strong between us. I whispered, “you need to sleep, boy.” There was a small sigh … Doms hate sighs! But I couldn’t help but smile as he snuggled back and replied, “Yes, Sir.” All is right in my world. I hope it is in yours. I wish you all a wonderful Christmas/Holiday Season and a joyous New Year.
  5. Hello guys and girls, I am currently developing a story and I’d like to get feedback from you. It is a three-part story; each part tells the story of one character in this unreciprocated love triangle. Here it is VERY summarized, so please forgive me if there are plot holes – let me know! (if this is NOT the right place for this, please forgive me and let me know) John was a 36 years old lawyer, married to Robert, who was 25 years-old aspiring actor and brother to Daniel, a 30 years old executive assistant. John and Robert had been married for five years and Daniel had just divorced his wife after four years. After that, their lives took a very unexpected turn that culminated in a terrible event. John was always devoted to Robert, from the moment they met. He made sure Robert was provided with everything, material and emotional, and Robert received it with kindness. John was the first-born in his family and his parents loved him to the point of giving him a senior partnership at their law firm. After his brother Daniel's divorce was finalized, John realized his husband was overly distracted and aloof. When confronted, Robert was defensive and aggressive, which was never part of his behavior. That drove John insane, because, for the first time, John felt he was losing control of a situation. Then, Robert began to tell John that he had to work late hours, almost every day and whenever Jonh questioned him, he would defer the explanation. John followed him after his rehearsals, consulted with his friends and little by little was getting close to a conclusion he feared: he was being cheated on. John knew that confronting him about it would only be effective when he had proof, so he waited for the right moment, but was surprised when Robert was the first one to start such confrontation. He knew all was lost then, but he also knew that he needed to let Robert know who he was, and put him in his place... Robert was a beautiful, athletic young man, with a golden heart. Although he had a tumultuous past - he was abandoned by his mother when he was 11, lived in foster homes and became a street hustler - he had hope to find a way to live a better life. His life as a hustler became unbearable when it started to involve trafficking, gang wars, and life threats... When he met Daniel at that gay club one night, he felt he saw the face of God. But because of the fact that Daniel was straight, he had other plans and introduced his brother to Robert. Even so, Robert was seduced by all the possibilities of a better life that John could give him and took the opportunity, falling in love with him, moving into his house and getting married just 7 months later. Also, at the same time, Daniel and Sarah - a long time friend of John's - got married, and Robert placed that initial feeling for his brother-in-law, down, somewhere in his heart. After he heard Daniel got divorced he began to give him support, seeing no one else was, because Daniel was very fragile and had clinical depression. To be able to give such support, he had to lie to his husband about where he was after work because of two major factors: he knew John and Daniel's relationship was tumultuous and unconsciously, a different feeling for Daniel was blossoming and he knew he had to hide it from his husband. Robert found himself trapped between his marriage and the confusing feelings for his straight brother-in-law, thus he knew he had to put an end to it and also clarify some dark aspects of his marriage... Daniel was just 6 years old when his brother, five years older, came out to his parents. What he found different was that his parents actually celebrated their first-born being gay. He always felt that his parents never really liked him and the preference for his brother was obvious in every possible way. Daniel's personality was the extreme opposite of his brother: he was introverted, quiet, in the shadows and complacent. As they became older, Daniel realized that John was taking more and more control of his life, telling him what to do, who to talk to, what girls to date... During college, John introduced Daniel to a girl and demanded her to take his virginity. Everything about Daniel was conducted by his brother and his parents never interfered. It was no different when John left his parents home and brought Daniel with him to live at a mansion together. Until the day came when John took him everywhere, including to a gay club. He had a habit of leaving Daniel alone after some hours, without giving him notice. In one of those nights, Daniel met Robert. Because John had found a companion, Daniel saw that John would never stick with him for long and soon enough, John introduced a friend of his to Daniel: Sarah. She was a beautiful girl, very opinionated, strong and reminded him a lot of John. Even so, Daniel fell in love with her and they got married. Daniel devoted his life to his wife, afterall, it was the first time someone was loving him. But all started derailing when he slipped and cheated on his wife. Daniel told Sarah about it and she was ruthless. They did not separate, but she made sure to humiliate him and cheat on him with many men. After one and a half year of hell and his depression getting worse, his wife asked for a divorce. Filled with guilt and regret, he let her take every material thing they had, and he was left with nothing and no one's help or mercy. When his divorce finalized, it was like a tombstone was laid on his grave and it was the deepest gloom he had ever been in. The only person that came to his rescue and tried to help him was his brother-in-law, Robert. But despite the therapy, the medicines and Robert's attempts, John's plots, his parents denial and his ex-wife humiliation only made it worse. Daniel knew it would be hard to recover from it, but after receiving a call from his brother, he felt life was impossible to cope with. One night, in his worse moment, Daniel told Robert he had to be true to his feelings. Robert immediately left him to have a conversation with John. When they got to talk, Robert questioned John about his relationship with his brother, his lust for power and control and if he had anything to do with Daniel's cheat. John revealed his intentions and what he had done in the past but made sure to tell Robert it was out of love. When Robert told John he was in love with his brother, John laughed on the outside, but on the inside, he could not believe that his own husband was leaving him for an impossible relationship, so he reminded Robert of the life he gave him and that he knew about his past. Nevertheless, Robert decided to stick with his feelings and left John and everything behind, to go back to Daniel and finally tell him about his love. But John called Daniel and humiliated him in such way, that it would be too late when Robert got there...
  6. MichaelS36

    tim

    Warning: D/s BDSM subjects... some mention of sex, oral sex. I met tim serving lunch at the mission where we both volunteered. He was less than impressed with me and not interested in my good cop-self. That was fine, but I knew it wouldn’t stop me. I would have that sweet skinny-assed boy. Though I knew he’d be mine, I also knew his back story. I knew I had to be careful. I knew I had to take my time. After finishing with serving lunch, the volunteers would sit and eat. I sat with him, uninvited and unwelcome, a few times. He did not care I was gay, he did care I was a cop and told me in no uncertain terms where I could go. Each rebuke just strengthened my resolve. And I know he liked what he saw. He checked me out enough when he thought I wasn’t looking. Sitting with him, he rarely looked me in the eye and once I reached over and put two fingers under his chin and lifted. Finally his eyes met mine and I said, “I’ve seen you looking boy. I like what I see too.” His eyes widened, and I saw recognition there. It what was I’d been hoping for. Eventually he accepted an offer for a coffee. I think it was the ninth or tenth time I’d asked. Afterward I saw him onto the streetcar. Didn’t ask for his number, just said I’d see him around. I saw him a couple of weeks later at the mission. I took him for ice cream that time, he seemed to be relaxed and told me a bit about his past. Broke my heart, hearing about the death of his mother and what his father had done to him. We started to go on short dates like this, for a coffee, or ice cream, or a short walk. During this time, we held hands, there were almost chaste kisses. No deep passionate ones, no tongues, this boy was going to want me. I’d make sure of it. I mentioned him to my parents. Told them what I knew of his past, told them I was interested. I’d had boyfriends before, but no one I told my parents about. But I knew tim would be coming home with me at some point and I wanted them to know. My mother was happy. She’d have someone to mother again. Our first big date was a baseball game to watch the Blue Jays play the Rays. We had a good time there. I took him home. Kissed him good-bye and he held on. Leaving him was becoming very difficult. I took him to another game a week later. There was a UFC Pay-Per-View on I wanted to see and invited tim to my place after baseball to watch it. I was surprised he agreed to come back with me but he did. We bought a pizza on the way home. We ate while we watched and let him snuggle up and held him close. It was late when the Pay-per-view ended and I suggested tim stay over in my spare bedroom. Once he was settled I went to my own, but trust me I was very tempted. But now was not the time. Not yet. He wasn’t ready. I think it was after 3am when I heard him, moaning, crying out in his sleep. He’d have this recurring nightmare for the next few years. But hearing it was pitiful. I got up and went into him and woke him gently. I nearly picked him up, but he walked with me to my room. Well, he was a bit resistant but I insisted. I pushed him onto is left side and pulled him into me, held him. Told him that we’d only be sleeping. And we did and he was quiet for the rest of that night. After this tim seemed more into me, he wanted to be close. Things were going as I’d hoped. I’ve always been a strong person, demanding, in bed and out. I met my friend John, a year before I met tim and John saw the dominant side of me. A long time Dom himself, he was and has been my mentor in the world of D/s. I liked what he taught and showed me. I knew tim had submissive qualities. He deferred to me, looked up to me, wanted me to choose and decide. I wanted to slowly start to train him. He was over one night and we watched some fetish video, some D/s as well. He was quite interested. He told me then he’d known a Dom and had spent time with him. I asked him questions about that time and he told me he’d enjoyed it. That he liked when he was told what to do, and liked the pain offered, and quietness of the scenes and the closeness afterward. He liked that he had someone to lean and depend on. This was an unexpected gift, an interested, willing and partially trained boy. I know this all sounds methodical, but I am that kind of person. I plan things, plot them and my goal was to make tim my boy, without frightening him. I also knew that he had to make that choice, but I could help things along. I knew he was the person I wanted in my life, to love and marry when I first met him. That hasn’t changed. So my training began. We were in our relationship about four months, still no sex, no super passionate kissing. Though I certainly was ready, I still wasn’t sure of tim. We’d been out for dinner and returned to my apartment. I’d been ready for more for some time but there was something blocking tim, I felt. We were on the sofa and something was different, he climbed on my lap and kissed me, I pulled him to me and kissed him properly, for first time. I took his breath away. He unbuttoned my shirt and moved down. He knelt between my thighs and he looked up at me and I said nothing but looked back. And I saw what I’d wanted to see. Love, desire and most important, respect. His hands hovered over my belt. He was waiting for me, and as hard as that was I let him. “Do you want what’s in there, boy?” He nodded. “Do you want what’s in there, boy?” I repeated more firmly. “Yes.” “Yes what?” “Yes.” He searched for the right word. “Sir?” “Good boy. Then unwrap it.” What followed was the best oral sex I’d ever had, that boy has talent. Afterward I drew him to me and kissed him, praised him and held him close. I gave him his first challenge. “No touching yourself other than to pee and replace. Not until we next meet. Is that clear?” He replied yes. I believe he did just that. I guess at six months, I knew tim was mine. He was ready and I wanted our first time together to be special. I wanted him to enjoy it, to be relaxed and us to be together. He was nervous, because we’d discussed what this night would be. I made him dinner, he didn’t eat much, his nerves were bad. We had coffee in the living room and kissed him until we were breathless. I want to pick him up and carry him to my bed, but I resisted. Instead I stood and reached for his hand. I told him if he wasn’t ready that was fine but he just shook his head. We went to my bedroom and once inside took him in my arms and kissed him. I undressed him slowly, kissing and teasing him. I knew he was afraid to let me see him without clothes because of the scars he carried, from cutting and burns, from beatings and needles. The story each of them told hurt, and touching them was hard but only because I knew the pain they caused him. We showered and prepped tim and then I did carry him to my bed. It was a wonderful night, we kind of rocked each other’s world. We still do. He cried in my arms afterward and held him and told him then for the first time that I loved him. It hurt a little he didn’t tell me the same, but I remembered who I was dealing with and that I had to be patient. After this, tim and I were just together all the time. I took him home to meet my family. Everyone loved him. I think the first visit was a bit overwhelming, but he got used to my loud and loving family. tim developed a close relationship with my mother. She saw his pain and his loneliness and they are good friends. Often they shop together, loving their trips to Ikea or flea markets. But if he brings home one more sugar bowl … how many of them can one man need? It was at about one year I decided the time was right. I took tim to a lovely place called Edward’s Gardens. We walked a bit and saw all the wedding parties getting their pictures taken. I took tim to a quiet place I knew, with a tiny waterfall and weeping willows and he stood watching the water. I moved behind him and kissed his sweet neck. Pulled him to me and said, “You love me?” “Yes, Michael, of course I do.” I turned him around and kissed him and got down on one knee and asked him, if he’d marry me. He pulled away and stepped back. And I knew then that I had just made a huge mistake. I could see the fear and pain in his eyes as he said, “Michael, I’m so sorry but no.” I couldn’t move. He’d just said no and I was just frozen. Finally I got to my feet. “Can you get home from here?” He said yes. I couldn’t stay there, not now and I walked away, knowing he’d be alone but I just had to go. I was a mass of confusion and frustration. I didn’t contact him not for a week. I needed to think. By Friday I’d decided I wasn’t going to give him up. I went to his little flat Friday morning early before my shift and banged on his door. There was no answer. I was frustrated. Saturday I was there even earlier and banged on the door until he finally opened it, swearing about the time. I didn’t give a shit at that point and pushed him back, followed him and shoved the door closed behind me. “Sit down and shut up!” I ranted at him about how much he’d hurt me. That I loved him, cared for him, and I’d treated him as he should have been treated. “How could you say no? I have given you my heart and soul, asked you to marry me, something I do not do lightly and you throw it back at me. How the fuck could you? “ He tried to say something but I shut him down. “I do not want to hear it, tim. I need some honest answers.” He nodded. I spit some questions at him and in the end gave him three months to get his act together. Granted all of this had been a surprise. We’d never discussed marriage at all. I had to get to work, but I hugged and kissed him. “I’ll come get you after work okay?” “Okay.” “Please don’t let me down again, tim. I pretty pissed off. But this is where you belong, close to me.” We just sort of held on to each other afraid to let go. ***** On December 18, we got married in the chapel at City Hall. A vanilla ceremony attended by tim’s brother, and my crew. It was a lovely day. In January we said our vows to each other in a D/s ceremony… tim wears the flat ring of silver on a silver chain around his neck, with the word, Forever on it that marks him as my submissive, my boy. This was attended by my parents and my friend John. We’ve had our ups and downs, like all couples. We’ve grown and learned together. But if I had the chance to do this again, I would, with no doubt. tim is the most precious thing in my world. And I love him with all I have. *******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
  7. MichaelS36

    Pledge

    Pledge Our lives have slowly changed Not for the better I’m afraid I have to be your man again Will be The one you deserve and desire So things will change Of that be sure You will be mine again, boy Interesting session with a psychologist who is a counsellor to those of us in BDSM or D/s lifestyle, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Dr. R greeted us both, we sat, and he sat within a small grouping of chairs. He largely ignored tim at first, after asking him to sit. Then he asked me why we were there and I explained what had been happening in our lives, that we seemed to be drifting and that I felt I was the not dominant man that tim expected and deserved. So he asked, are you D/s and want to stay that way, D/s and want out, or Vanilla and want in? I said the first, Dr. R then looked at tim and asked him. tim replied the same way as I had. Then still gazing at tim, he said, “if you went into another lifestyle home and were asked to sit, where would you be now, boy?” tim pointed to the floor, next to me. The doctor continued, “Would you be more comfortable there knowing what I am and your husband is?” “Yes, Sir.” “Go then, boy.” Dr. R watched as tim settled on the floor, leaning against my leg. “Don’t think you are not respected though or that your feelings and opinion’s don’t matter.” “No, Sir.” “Good. Then let’s begin.” It wasn’t all pleasant but not meant to be I suppose. Tim related his trust issues, and how he’s unsure of what love means, though he says it often. I spoke of the recent past and how it had affected me and also my diabetes diagnosis. Together these things had rocked my world, but not in a good way. At the end of the session Dr. R said, you know the pieces of this puzzle all seem to be here. You two just need to start communicating more effectively. Today Mike you gave tim what he needed some tasks, some framework, which he needs to be a good sub. He liked our first goal which is for tim to learn he can properly trust me. We still need to define what that looks like, but tim has provided me some ideas. So the new day begins. *******************************************************
  8. Hi! This a short excerpt from the first chapter of my next story called Changes. It's about Don and Louis, together 10 years, married for part of that time, very devoted to each other. Don is a writer and a lover of his husband but also of danger. Life is good until one day ... The racetrack that day was noisy and oily. The fumes gave me a headache. I felt irritated and wanted to be anywhere but there, but Don had asked me to go, and I didn’t feel like I could say no. In the pit area, I sat watching him and his crew doing last minute adjustments to the bike. I was such a fish out of water. But Don didn’t care. I was his husband, and he was not afraid to show this in front of others as he often ran up to talk or kiss me. Finally, Don went to change into his leathers, leaving me with a black feeling of doom. If I’d gotten up and gone with him, and told him how I felt—that maybe today was not a good day to get on that killing machine—that maybe he’d have listened. In my heart-of-hearts though, I know he wouldn’t have. No, instead, he would do what he did. Hold me in his strong arms, kiss me until I was breathless, and tell me he’d love me forevermore. I’d smile and act bravely, cheering him on, but scared until the damn race was over. It happened in the fifth lap. They don’t really know what caused the accident; can’t tell me the whys, only that it was an act of God. Do we blame God for everything bad that happens? I see it every day in my head; it was just after a right turn. The bike leaning, and Don’s right knee so close to the track. It was too close, wasn’t it? The physics were instantly wrong, so that massive machine slid out from under him, and Don becoming a ragdoll as he flipped repeatedly, bouncing off the guardrail and hay bales. The ambulance screamed its way over the park-like grass in the centre of the track. I wanted to go. I needed to go. But I was held in place, as Jed’s hands were on both my biceps while I tried to climb the barrier; his grip was like Don’s. Jed, the crew chief, had grabbed my face and turned it toward his. It was loud, so we all wore ear protectors, and I remember the shape of his mouth as he yelled at me; NO, NO, NO! He pulled me inside the small crew’s lounge. I fought him because this room was not where I was supposed to be. He pulled off our protectors and said, “No, Louis. We can’t help him. Let the paramedics sort him out.” “He’s my fucking husband!” I didn’t try to stop my tears. Jed pulled me close and held me in arms that felt so like Don’s, and he whispered, “I know. I know.” All I could do then was grab fistfuls of his overalls and sob. Jed drove me to the hospital. Terror was in my fingers during that ride and I dug them into my thighs and the padded door handle. Don was in surgery by the time Jed led me to the Emergency Room, where he remained for several hours. I called Don’s mother Rena, who lived in Calgary. I felt I needed a plunger to push down my feelings as I told her what had happened to her son. I knew she was crying as she said she would be here as soon as she could. That was nearly three weeks ago. Don has not woken up; he has not moved, he has not smiled or cried, or said: Baby I love you. Not for three weeks. I think I have no more tears, but today, with time passing me by, I sob. My ‘you’ve got a text’ ringtone roused me from my self-pity and daydreams. I picked up my phone, rolled onto my back and opened it: He’s awake
  9. I'm presently working on two different projects. This is a one shot, approximately 2,000+ words. Wanted - Are you good at seeing the problems? Not afraid to be honest with someone? Got a good red pen and not afraid to use it? Then I have a project for you! The story - Blue, Brownie, and Wedding White This came about because of Cia's little project for the site - Two Nouns. Well after a really short scene people wanted more. I caved and wrote more. I'm sure even with this expansion, it wont be enough, but it all depends on what you as a beta need more of, or less of. Sample - Buzzz! Buzzz! Buzzz! The buzzer for Bradley’s alarm clock pierced the silence, forcing him to push the hair out of his face, then blindly feel for the button to kill the alarm. “Too damn early,” he mumbled as he grabbed his glasses and slid them on. He hurried to the bathroom to pee, wash his face, and brush his teeth. He was on automatic pilot, just going about his normal routine. Bradley stumbled to the kitchen and started brewing a cup of coffee in his Kuerig before pouring himself a bowl of corn flakes. He yawned and scratched his face, waiting for the machine to finally finish brewing his cup. He poured some milk into his coffee and was about to sit down when his doorbell rang. He set the mug on his kitchen table and squinted at the front of the house. “Who could want me at this hour?” Bradley rubbed his eyes and wandered to the front door. He opened it and took a moment for him to realize no one was there. He began to close the door when his sleep addled mind realized something was wrong. Pulling the door wide open, Bradley discovered the roads in front of his house were gone. Instead of the flow of traffic, he presently found a park, or maybe a forest starting at the edge of his yard. He could clearly see the elms, oaks, cherry trees, and more where the three streets should merge in front of his house. The trees were barely lit as the sun rose into the sky. “This has to be a dream.” Bradley shook his head and was about to close the door when he heard a high pitched whistle. Pausing to look around he spotted a small pink and violet ball, barely larger than a golf ball, shot out of the park, hurtled at incredible speed across his yard, and flew right past his ear. “What the hell was that?” Bradley turned quickly and looked into his hallway. He found the ball sliding around on his hardwood floor, going from the hall into his open living room, finally coming to a halt under his glass coffee table. As he watched in amazement, the ball slowly seemed to split open like an egg and a fully formed man stood up. The man stood all of a six inches high, was a deep indigo color, and totally nude. “I really need to wake up,” Bradley muttered as he rubbed his eyes and then slapped his own cheek. “Funny way to greet a guest,” came a deep rich voice from the figure on the floor. He stood with his arms crossed watching every move Bradley made. “Guest?” Bradley squeaked as he took a sudden step back, hit his front door, knocking it closed. Click. There was a flash of light and then silence as Bradley heard the door close behind him. “Finally,” came the same rich voice as the figure walked toward Bradley, growing rapidly to over six feet. “I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to close that door. Did you grow up in a barn or something?” So if this appeals to you feel free to contact me. Thank you, Wayne aka comicfan
  10. Today's New York Times contains an Op-Ed piece by Ross Douthat which considers how marriage equality could occur and some of its ramifications. See: "The Terms of Our Surrender".
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