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Girls with Anxiety I little diddy someone posted on facebook that really spoke to me. It was like that thing that I wish everyone understood and saw and thought when they see me. Like for those days when you just want to grab someone and shake them and yell at them, "can't you see how hard I'm trying!" Of course, same thing can be said about "boys with anxiety" i would like it best if it was "people with anxiety". But this will do. I work in retail. My job is to convince people they need expensive electronics, with all the bells and whistles (and protection of course), by making an emotional connection to instill trust and false sense of security. It's fucking draining. My job is sometimes my biggest nightmare and i wake up in the morning with desire only to crawl into bed and borrow under the covers and just forget i exist. And sometimes i'm walking the aisles at work and see a customer nearby and all i can think about is how I have to approach them and offer this stranger,who probably wants nothing to do with me, a piece of myself. It's like all those things you wish you could ell someone who tries but just doesn't understand. One of those things you see online and you want to show it to everyone you know because "this is me, get it now?" but you're to scared that hey still won't get it. or they just won't care. and it's that line between wanting to explain because obviously they haven't felt it so they don't know but also why the fuck should i have to explain why i feel that way cant you just except that i do? Can you just stop telling me "I'm lazy" or "a procrastinator" and see that right now I just can't. I'm exhausted by my own thoughts. Those days where it's a battle between fear of failure but o energy to be productive. Sitting there making a list of all the things you have to do but can't make yourself do any of them. When thinking about doing something stressful is so exhausting you can't get up and do it. It's like, "no i didn't forget, I thought about doing it. a lot. too much and that's why I can't do it" Those days where you are just so lonely, you feel almost desperate for huan contact. but then when you actually make plans you dead having to follow through ith them. It's seeing your friends or people online posting about how much fin their having, wishing you had been invited, but choking because you know if they had invited you, you probably would have blown them off. I feel aged. Old. I hate being told "i'm too young to be tired" or "I'm young, i should have more of a social life" my body may be young but my stress makes me feel old.