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  1. To preface: This is my blog, I have posted about politics and philosophy on it before, and I will continue to do so. I welcome discussion in the comments, but I ask that you keep it civil. Misogyny and transphobia will be reported, even if it means that this blog post is taken down. If you put words in my mouth, you will be summarily ignored. This is a personal and important subject to me. Please respect that. Today is International Women's Day. I've always considered myself a feminist. I firmly believe that the same societal structures that are to blame for misogyny are also to blame for homophobia, transphobia, and the oppression of many other marginalised groups. You can call it the patriarchy if you like, but that word tends to rub some people the wrong way. You could also call it toxic masculinity, but that one just pisses people off. So I'm not going to call it either of those things. I am simply going to call it culture. We exist within a culture, a social framework, that teaches us certain established truths. I'll preface my argument by pointing out that individuals are not to blame for this. It's not the fault of straight, white men. It's not the fault of Donald Trump or Harvey Weinstein or Brett Kavanaugh. It is an insidious culture that has grown as the result of centuries of social norms. While the actions of individuals and groups continue to perpetuate it, these people are not to blame for the culture (though they should still be held responsible for their own actions, as should anyone). Religion holds a great deal of responsibility for spreading this culture, Abrahamic religions in particular. Many older religions and cultures from around the world have no problem with homosexuality, operate with multiple genders, and have large degrees of gender equality. But even today, people use religion as an excuse for bigotry. It has been, and continues to be, a very effective form of social control. And countries where these bigotry based religions have grown strong roots, have spread the culture further via colonialism. India had no sodomy laws before the British arrived. Most African countries had no sodomy laws before the British arrived. Yet today, homophobia runs rampant in many of these countries. A lot of homophobia is based on the premise that gay men are effeminate and therefore lesser. Some gay men internalise this and feel that if they were to bottom they would lose some of their masculinity. The submissive role is the 'female' role. Conversely, gay women and other women in same-sex relationships are often asked which one of them is the 'man' in the relationship. For some lesbians this is also internalised; many butch lesbians think less of lipstick lesbians, that is to say gay women who dress and act in a more traditionally feminine way. How anyone can deny that these aspects of homophobia were born from sexism and misogyny is beyond me. Sexism and homophobia are steady bedfellows. They perpetuate one another in the culture. I said I wasn't going to call it toxic masculinity, but toxic masculinity is a symptom of the culture. And again, it has nothing to do with individuals. Nor is it saying that masculinity in and of itself is toxic. It isn't. But there are certain conventions within the culture that are harmful to men and women alike, and toxic masculinity is one of them. Toxic masculinity is when people laugh at men who are sexually assaulted by women. Toxic masculinity is when a man feels ashamed because he cries. Toxic masculinity is when we say 'boys will be boys' when a child hurts another or when young men sexually harass. Toxic masculinity is when a man reacts to strong emotions with aggression instead of facing them head on. It's when a man takes up so much space that it infringes on the space of other people. Many women also perpetuate these ideas, by demanding that men be strong, and by teaching their sons different values than they teach their daughters. And all that is also a symptom of culture. Another symptom is cis-sexism. This comes in many forms, and often from within the LGBTQ and women's movements. Many gay and straight people are downright rude, sometimes even violent, if they find out that a person has other genitalia than they expected. When I began my journey in earnest, one of my friends who's a lesbian said to me, 'I accept that this is who you are, but I don't get how wearing men's clothes makes you not a woman. I wear them all the time because they're comfortable and I like them.' Certain women's rights activists will use a similar argument. They'll say that girls think they're boys because they prefer dressing like them. Why do our daughters think they want to be men? And, conversely, they say of trans women that they're perpetuating stereotypes by conforming to traditional beauty standards and femininity. The truth is, in order to pass as the gender we are, we have to. I like pretty dresses and heels and make-up, but I don't feel comfortable wearing them right now because I would be immediately read as female. A friend of mine who's non-binary trans and on hormone replacement therapy, didn't dare cut their hair until they had facial feminisation surgery. Because they felt like they would have looked too masculine. Gender expression is a way to make our outward appearance match what's inside us. These are all symptoms of culture. Of homophobia, sexism, and cis-sexism. And they go hand in hand. Because we are taught from birth what we are supposed to be like, based on our genitalia. Girls are meant to like pink and play with dolls and like princesses and frilly dresses. Boys are meant to wear blue and play with soldiers and play war and like action movies. We are taught this to the point where it becomes hard-wired. We're not necessarily taught this by individuals, but by the culture that we live in. Many women experience internalised misogyny, where traditionally 'girly' things are shunned. How often don't we hear, 'Oh, I was always a tomboy, I preferred hanging out with boys, girls are just so much drama.' And there is value placed on that, on being less feminine, because being feminine is being lesser. Culture teaches us so, even if we don't realise it. Even if we don't believe it. Nobody lives in a vacuum. It's easy to think, oh no, I'm too smart to be affected by advertisement or TV or books or the news. You're not. You are affected, whether you're aware of it or not. The dominant culture in which you live will always affect your morals, your thought patterns, your feelings. The way we're raised affects us, and we're not solely raised by our parents. We are raised by culture. We can break free of that. We can learn to tell ourselves, this thing that I'm feeling or thinking right now, it's not true. But teaching yourself not to feel it at all is extremely difficult. I know I've never been able to, as aware as I am of why I feel that way. Anyone who's ever suffered from depression, for instance, can tell you how hard it is to unlearn internalised basic truths that we've learned about ourselves based on our experiences, truths that aren't true, but that's a topic for another day. One of the ways of making yourself aware and ridding yourself those thoughts and feelings is to deconstruct. To ask why. 'It's just the way things are' is not an answer. Things that are 'just the way things are' are born out of centuries of building a social framework. They are agreed upon truths that we simply accept. Deconstruct them. Pull them apart and look at the individual parts of these structures. Try to understand them, and you'll find that they don't make much sense. As a person who straddles the gender divide, I probably feel these things more strongly than most. I'm in a unique position to notice. I didn't make a choice not to conform; I innately don't. It's the same for other members of the LGBTQ community of course, but for trans people it's something we're reminded of daily, and something we are forced to be acutely aware of if we want to live as anything like who and what we are. And we need every tool in the toolbox to do so. I was going to march today, but I have a very persistent cold and don't feel well enough for that, sadly. I usually march every year, with the sex workers and the trans lobby; the feminists the traditional women's movement don't want, because we break with their established truths; that being a woman is a fact of gender assigned at birth, and that anyone who sells services of a sexual nature is a victim (also a debate for another day, and one I don't want in my comments today, please). It's an odd contradiction, to first deconstruct the idea that women are inherently unable to do the things that men do—that they are innately nurturing and are supposed to give birth to and raise children, that they can't do what they want with their own bodies, and so on—only to turn around and perpetuate the idea that chromosomes is what makes a woman and to dictate what others do with their bodies. It also utterly erases the existence of intersex people. In spite of this, I continue to consider myself a feminist, just as much as I consider myself an LGBTQ activist. I don't have to be a Woman™ in order to do that, and even though I'm not, I'm still a person with a vagina and many things that the women's movement stands for are important to me. My feminism is about deconstructing a culture that hurts women, men, intersex people, non-binary trans people, binary trans people, gay and bisexual people; in short, everyone. It's nobody's fault, but it is everyone's responsibility, so that we can all be free. I kind of went off on a tangent I hadn't planned for this, and went way more philosophical than I had planned. Like I said, I welcome discussion if anyone has anything to say, but keep it civil, consider arguments put forth before you react, and don't put words in people's mouths. In short, don't be a dick. The more likely scenario is that no one will comment at all. Happy International Women's Day. PS: I wrote this little batch of poems a while back, and it seems apt to share it with you today. You can also read it here. #NotAllMen 1. misandrist you said i hated men and i said that would be weird since i’m transmasculine you said there was nothing masculine about me that if i wanted to be a man i should act like one and i said if being a man means being a dick, then i know few men you said fuck this and went home 2. incel she said no so he took a gun and shot three people for the crime of being women who wouldn’t have sex with him 3. feminists on the eighth of march you said when is men’s day? and the feminists said it’s on the nineteenth of november on the nineteenth of november you said fuck this and went home 4. traps are trans women traps? are traps gay? is it wrong to be gay? is it, though? 5. masculinity as the women aired their grievances you said what about the men? and the women said fine let’s talk about the men let’s talk about men’s rights paternity leave male birth control domestic abuse against men men who are sexually assaulted, by other men and by women let’s talk about why men can’t wear dresses about homophobia about aggression and anger let’s talk about why men get depressed why men kill themselves why men don’t report rape why little boys don’t cry let’s talk about why men are afraid to be vulnerable let’s talk about masculinity and which parts of it are toxic and you said fuck this and went home 6. man what makes a man a man? why am i not a man? or am I? it doesn’t matter but it does and sometimes i wonder do i want to be? when i know that most men will not accept me as one of their own not as long as i look like this 7. activism you said do something help us fix our problems and lists were made ideas shared we said here, these are things you can do to fix your problems and make your lives better here are your tools organise protest march fight like we have done but you said fuck this and went home
  2. I realized something today, everyone that argues, whether liberal, conservative, or libertarian. Rich, middle, or poor. We are all arguing about the same point. One or Many? It can't that simple, but it really is that simple. On a side, you have people advocating for individuals defining themselves, their actions, behaviors, and even destinies as they choose. On the other side, you have people advocating for groups whether it is a society, a state, a subset of human beings (gay, black, or whatever) defining their actions, behaviors, and fates as a collective based on whatever measure they choose (majority, minority with power, or even a singular dictatorial will). We are stuck in that argument, but I want to add a breakthrough point. To the one's arguing the individual points or "One" point, like Libertarians, tell me, Can a person make a pure individual choice without any input from the outside world or other individuals? If you say Yes, because everyone has free will and can make their own choices, I have a big revelation for everyone. Each choice is made with conscious effort of other people's actions, direct and indirect, around you; thus, there is never a choice based on "One". A simple choice like Cereal brand you eat during the morning is made possible by a million other choices from the farmer in the fields, the factory worker on the line, the trucker on a deadline, and the super-market choices of supplier. I can point to the same factors based on any example you can pick, even choosing going right or left on a road is made possible by a million choices from others. Causality nullifies choice. As for the people arguing the point of the society or "Many" point, tell me, Can a group make a decision without a single person making their own choice? Each person has many choices in how they interact, some desire many things, others desire simplicity. However, each person can only hold to certain choices; thus, without individuals, no group can be created. If a group of politicians need to make a law on increasing taxes of stuffed animals, how does each arrive at their own vote? Each must think about their own experiences with stuffed animals, how fluffy they were as kids or even as adults keeping their childhood toys right next to them. Maybe some have a strong hatred for stuffed animals due to working in a assembly line stuffing these fur balls. That might be an outlandish idea, but it highlights how individual experience affects the group. All these experiences occured to produce a result. Causality nullifies goals. So what does my breakthrough points mean: I think whether you are trying to seek an individual solution or a group solution, one cannot deny that both sides co-exist on many levels; there can never be an ideal Libertarian solution as long as everyone affects each other in how their choices work, nor can groups effectively create lasting laws if each individual can determine their own choices based on experience. The problem between the two is a paradox, neither can be ideal and neither are truly achievable in reality. I have been thinking in terms of Causality a lot lately.
  3. This story topic is for AC Benus' historical Christmas Holiday Novella about Saint Louis' most prominent department store Famous-Barr. The first story is being posted: Katie's Sketchbook - Christmas at Famous-Barr 1976 and you can learn more about Famous-Barr and enjoy pictures in AC's blog and gallery. I would never have thought reading about the history of a department store could be so interesting. As one of the comments said: "Now You are being a Living Encyclopedia." But I guess it's not the first time AC has awed his readers by the depth of his research and attention to historical facts and details. If you're ready to get into a holiday mood or want to follow one of AC's amazing love stories, check out Katie's Sketchbook. I promise you won't be disappointed. And join us here to discuss themes and topics of the Novella.
  4. Mojo A Post-Modern Satire and Sex Comedy by AC Benus I am so happy to open this topic for discussion of this amazing work from AC Benus. I am also lucky to have been able to be a sounding board, support and, a friend during this last year. Please read and enjoy ... and let's talk..
  5. I'm well past the halfway point of my life. Nevertheless, even at this point, I'm still slamming into reminders of just how odd my upbringing was - how my life set me up to be completely at odds with the rest of the world. Left-handed among right-handed people, multi-generational household, gay back when people openly discussed using fags for target shooting. Each of these subjects have impacts and depths that many people may not realize. But none of those are the main focus of this. I attended an experimental school. There were no walls, no class hours, no assigned homerooms or teachers, no letter grades or even grade levels. Everything was based on mastery of information. I may be 13 years-old and reading a college textbook but doing remedial math. There was a very careful, deliberate elimination of all forms of competition. No sports. No pitting one student against the other. No comparisons. Competition was viewed as the root of all evil. Any instructor could help any student with any subject. There were a set number of hours to each school-day but how those hours were used was completely up to me. I have found, for my entire life, I stood out - for so many reasons! Aside from the usual things that a gay kid would be forced to deal with in the sixties, my brain was shaped by a counterculture philosophy. That, in turn, has been a mixed blessing. My personal happiness is inextricably linked to and indistinguishable from your own happiness. My goals and success depend, indeed, require your cooperation. How does one make their way through a world that is completely opposite to the way they were taught was morally righteous and ethically correct? There's volumes of details I could go into, but for a conversation starter, I hope this will inspire some comments.
  6. I wanted to write a blog about it, but instead, I think I'll just ask the question: What does love and infatuation mean to you? What's the difference? Have you ever been mistaken one for the other? I want to discuss about romantic love and infatuation, as they're the most confused about. That is, no platonic love, parental love, friendships, or sexual (eros) type of love, please. It'll keep things more focused and manageable because they're really abstract and hard to grasp conceptual words.
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