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Found 9 results

  1. Well, yesterday tim and I had a rather big yet stupid argument. It wasn't nice, tim was rightly angry and hurt. I don't remember the last time I felt that angry. It was totally preventable and it was organic. What happened isn't important, it was a true accident, tim was hurt physically (not badly), but I told him to get out of the way. he took offense to my reaction and left the kitchen quietly. Which angered me more and from there it escalated. Leaving tim angry and telling me I could do one! Which I deserved. During a discussion later, tim wondered if perhaps my blood sugar may have caused my reaction. It's quite possible as normally I'm not terribly quick to anger. Lesson learned. I need to make sure I eat properly throughout the day so I don't end up with blood sugar issues if dinner isn't right on time. I apologized to my precious husband, who forgave me instantly. Reminding me again, just how lucky I am.
  2. MichaelS36

    Vows

    The other evening a friend said to me; "The hard times are when I think about my vows to my husband. And that helps. We all have troubles, but we can be the constant in the lives of those we love. There's something sublime and wonderful about that." He's right, of course. Being there for others, a partner or friend, is a wonderful feeling. Those vows we make when we marry are not just words to be said because 'that's what you do'. No. They are and should be words held in the highest regard. Sacred? Maybe they should be. Too many people seem to easily forget them when times are hard, rather than do as my friend said. Hard times are when our vows are most important. They should be a comfort and a beacon. I read about couples forced now to be home with each other. Many are not doing very well. They argue and fight about everything it seems. The don't know how to compromise and share. What a shame that is. But also, for many the opposite is true as well. It has been for tim and I. We talk more, laugh more. We can be quiet together, each of us doing our own thing. Being locked down together since March 2020 has been good for our relationship. Though, it hasn't been walk in the park. tim struggles with depression and that has hit hard sometimes during 'Covid'. But he has held on and worked through it. Taking time to care for himself. If you're in a committed relationship and you made vows to each other and you find you are struggling, look back at that day, remember the look in your beloved's eyes and the words you said to them and they to you. Say them again each day in your heart. Mean them. Relationships are work. The things we struggle for and work for offer the greatest reward. That love you share is worth it, everyday.
  3. I suppose this piece should have a WARNING … if you are closed minded, cannot deal with things outside your own experience or what you think is 'normal', or believe that relationships with more than two people are wrong. DO NOT READ THIS. I have never been conventional. Well, I say that, yet, I wanted to be married. But I also believe you can love more than one. I believe that bringing others into a relationship for friendship and sex is a good thing and that it can work. Until last year, my husband resisted that. he was unsure, worried that I would love the other more, leave him possibly. We eventually did share with another couple we've known for a long time. tim came to realize that I would never leave him. That he is my main dance partner for life. And, if push came to shove … he is truly all I need. Knowing that has freed him. Freed him to not be afraid of both mental and physical relationships with others. That is not to say that we just jump into bed with everyone. We do not, nor do we want to. There has to be a connection, feeling … neither of us want some casual thing. Early this year an ex of mine, who remained a friend, came to me to talk and for some comfort. He'd been ready to ask his boyfriend to marry him. Just before that event, the boyfriend admitted he was tired and had met someone else. Someone he'd been having an affair with for nearly a year. My friend Jim was devastated. He changed his shift to nights only, so he slept in the day, making it easier to avoid life. One day Jim asked if he could spend more time with us. I said sure. I'm not sure how we ended up on the topic but he asked if we might consider more with him. He was missing companionship and sex. He and I had dated for a couple of years and we had parted for various reasons as friends, so I had no problem with that. I still cared for him a lot. And then I nearly messed it up by pushing too hard. It upset my husband, who knew who Jim was, but didn't know him. After some real honest talk, the three of us decided we needed to spend time together to get to know each other, to let things develop. I'm happy to say they have developed. We have this closeness now, a bond. We care deeply and continue to nurture this new relationship. I'm not sure how far it will go or where we may end up. But for now it feels good, and it feels right.
  4. For Timmy, Emi and Mr. Benus: Incomplete Love All relationships are a work in progress, A building to be finished, an infinite mirror Beneath a starry sky. A battle between belief and reality, A compromise between expectation and evolution Between engagement and understanding. Experience vs. Emotion Broken crumbling pieces of self mixing Into happiness and grief and regrets Creating the mortar of us. Bricks and days And labours of indecisive Apollos' creating The walls of Troy only to be breached By a stupid wooden horse Of momentary weakness, Merrymaking in the filth as snakes slither in Our garden. Yet even then looking up you see The angelic choirs praising The one perfect moment of absolute happiness, One moment in eternity where you and I became Us. The slowly dying flowers in the vase are laughing at the trees outside. 02/10/2016 ©asamvav111
  5. Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior toward both males and females, and may also encompass romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender identity or to a person irrespective of that person's biological sex or gender, which is sometimes termed pansexuality. (wikipedia.com) When I was a small child I grew up in a very religious household with my grandparents, and had no idea what sexuality was...all know was that men and women got married and then later somehow made babies to complete their families. When I was about seven I moved to Rhode Island to live with my mother and I was completely thrown for a loop. Firstly, I found out that in my Mom's book kids were suppose to got side and make friends with other kids, not stay in the house with the adults. You see, my Grandmother was one of those people that liked to keep her "babies" close and safe, so being outside until the lights came on was kind of odd for me and I was always being kicked out the house until later. This was hard for me because I felt like my Mom didn't love, which wasn't the case she and her friends just needed "adult time". Adult time always left the house smelling burnt and smokey, but my young mind just thought that was the nasty smell of cigarettes because she (and every other adult in the house) smoked them. The second thing I learned about was that my Uncle Butch never had a lady friend. I remember asking my Mom about this and she just said he didn't like girls, which at the age of seven I could completely understand because girls were weird creatures. When I turned eleven I developed the need to snoop around in peoples belongs, after finding my Moms "toys" when in her room, so one day I was in my uncles room watching a movie while he was at work and started to snoop. What I found was his stash of sexy magazines under his bed...that had pictures of men. I had no idea what to make of it mentally but my body decide it like the pictures... Now lets fast forward some years... At this point I have had my eyes opened and wasn't the young unknowing little church boy anymore, I was fifteen and knew that both guys and girls did it for me. This was also the same year I met my boyfriend, now fiance, which brings to the real point of this blog. The one thing at Tanner and I have never agreed on is that I identify as bisexual. When I tell people I'm with a guy they always say "Oh, you're gay?" and I say no I'm bi and that is usually when Tanner gets upset. He thinks because I'm with him and plan to stay with him that I should say I"m gay, but I feel like that would be lying about who I am. I feel like I have worked through too much self discovery to just dismiss it like that. I guess, I understand why it would put him off...like me saying I like women is my way of saying I'm not all in? Like I would change my mind and decide to get over my gay phase? Does he think I'm being greedy? Or maybe he thinks its disrespectful to our relationship? I don't know. I have given him almost five and half years of my life and I still don't fully understand because he won't give me a dang answer that makes sense. I'm lost at what to do about this.
  6. From the album: My Mindal Art

    Degrees of Comparison (Inspired by Ben and Asher’s budding relationship in The Island’s Secret by faxity) Loving each other – our only trespass... Perceiving, savouring mutual flavours – Our only weakness... Our very essences – Jointly stupefy sensibilities... Tongue for tongue Edge to edge... Smitten, besotted, enchanted us With whom shall we compare? What criterium shall we use? No other parallel applies Simply and solely One of a kind Are US on an island of our own 24 August 2014 © art and prose – Rano 4 GA
  7. They say that nature has much to teach us, and that the simplicity of the laws of nature give the complexities of life some kind of roadmap for understanding how things work. But then people say a lot of things, and not all of them make sense, or are not as easy to understand or work out as it would seem. I mean lets be honest there are some pretty complicated emotions and feelings associated with something like a relationship that nature hasn't got a clue about right? Hmmmmm, lets consider one of the most fundamental relationships that exist between mankind and nature. Man's best friend. The simplicity of the relationship between a person and their dog could in someways be used to give us some useful lessons about the dynamic of a successful relationship. Madness you think? Well allow me to get you to think a little... Think not about the dynamic from a human perspective. Try if you can for a moment to put yourself in the dog's shoes/paws. Love given unconditionally. Loyalty. Care and compassion. Forgiveness. Joy. Peacefulness. Dedication. Just a few words that you would have to consider in life as a dog. Yeah, if you think about it, as long as a dog gets a little attention, fed on a regular basis, loved and walked, it matters not what kind of life they lead, they are always faithful and diligent to their master, right to the end. They never hold a grudge. Never worry about anniversaries, birthdays, being early or late. They forgive endless mistakes. They can be forgotten outside in the cold, left to wait in a boiling hot car, be scared witless by our fascination with fireworks, yet will always jump and and give endless love unconditionally when we pay them the attention they crave. They are fiercely protective of our safety, jealous guards of our time and space, love to be near us, wait patiently for our return, and celebrate our return passionately. They love to see us smile, listen to our woes without judging or making comment. They give comfort and kisses, even when we don't really want them. They make us laugh, and make us frown. Even when we get mad at them, they never hold it against us, and when we may be harsh, or lash out unexpectedly, they are quick to put it behind them and move on. They are cautious of strangers and welcome friends. Now for heavens sakes I am not suggesting we all go out and start dating our canine pets. That would be just a little outrageous! However, I am suggesting that there are a few things that dogs do that we could learn from in our quest to build strong and long lasting relationships. Right, so give consideration for a moment to what makes a good relationship. A good friendship. Loyalty, dedication, compassion, trust, diligence, patience, forgiveness.... See a pattern beginning to form? Maybe the reality is that much as the fantastic ability of a dog to love its owner unconditionally regardless of its circumstances is the starting blocks of what true love really is. That magical word unconditional is something we talk about a lot in life. It is something that is elusive and difficult to achieve as we are by nature selfish beings. We are out to get as much as we can for ourselves as fast as we can for as long as we can. So this unconditional malarky is a complete reverse of our predominant characteristic as a person. If we aspire to be a little less caught up in our selfish worlds of me me me, maybe we could learn to be better people. Better partners, better friends, better lovers. Take the time to try understand, be more compassionate, more forgiving, a little more willing to listen and not judge, more willing to stand at the shoulder of our loved ones, even if we may not agree with their decisions or choices. If we could just learn to be more attentive, more patient, more willing to have fun, be excited about the simplest things like spending time in one another's company, regardless of where, when or why, maybe if we could just take time to appreciate that we are not alone, not forgotten, not ignored, we could feel more appreciative of all we have. I mean how hard can it be? Well take it from me, not easy. Heck to get it right is bloody tough, and while nature may show a lot of simplicity in its lessons, this is not a simple life, and it is never easy to change our ways or alter our characteristics to being less human in a way. But in the long run it can almost make life worth living. It could bring an extra level of something special to our relationships and emotional well being. Isn't that something worth trying? I don't know, but I do know this... We are not perfect, I have said it so many times before, and as I look around me in my daily life, there is so much to learn, so many places to draw ideas, lessons and new insight from, that maybe this is how we learn to become better people. Maybe this is how we are meant to learn... What do you think? Thought for today - "Try not to become a man of success but a man of value" - Albert Einstein Song for today - Some Nights by Fun.
  8. And Now The Question Of the Hour Day Week Fortnight Month Quarter or Year What, if any, Sexual Relationship exists between Dirk Carlson and Jim Ainsworth?
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