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This may be a tad controversial and put me firmly on the radar of MI6 but I want to talk about the Royal Family. You know, the ones that live on the other side of the Atlantic but rule Canada. Now I’ve been accused in the past of being a bit of a queen, but I’ve never been much of a royalist and I cannot see any benefit in continuing with a British Monarch as the head of state in Canada. I won’t be fooled, I know for a fact that there’s no such thing as Kings, Queens, Princes, and Princesses. It’s all made up; they belong in Walt Disney films and fairy-tales, but they’re not real. Let’s face it, they’re just ordinary people who have been lucky enough to land a cushy number. They weren’t chosen by God as some goofballs would have you believe, they haven’t got blue blood, and they didn’t pull any swords from stones or slay any dragons either. They got to the throne by mercilessly torturing and killing anyone who dared to oppose them, including members of their own family—especially members of their own family. The present Queen Elizabeth II is a descendant of Henry VIII (1st Cousin 14 times removed), who relatively speaking, must surely be assured a place in the rogue’s gallery of the worlds most blood-thirsty despots. There are many other unsavoury characters in her bloodline; too many for it to be coincidental, but rather than apologise on behalf of her sadistic ancestors, she positively basks in their memory, proudly displaying portraits of these well-documented monsters as if they were Mother Teresa. If you add up the number of murders directly attributed to this family and the resulting wealth that they have accumulated, they may just be the most successful crime family of all time but surely in the modern world, their days are now numbered. In the UK, their popularity has been steadily decreasing since the Diana debacle and it’s no surprise—given their list of previous—that many Brits believe that there was some sort of foul play involved in her death. Well, that’s a surprise, who would have thought? I believe that it’s unconstitutional to have an unelected foreign head of state in Canada, and I’m not alone. According to the latest Forum Poll conducted in 2015, 73% of Canadians would prefer to have an elected Canadian as their head of state. Unsurprisingly, on a provincial level, Quebec has the highest percentage of anti-monarchists with over 90% in favour of replacing the Queen. Those figures, if correct, do not bode well for William and Kate but they only have themselves to blame. They seem completely out of touch with the ordinary people and in particular the youth who will ultimately be the ones who decide on their future. It doesn’t help when you get married dressed like the Duke of Wellington at the Battle of Waterloo. I mean really, what groom carries a sword on their hip these days? It was another bonding opportunity wasted by a family still struggling to adjust to the twentieth century, let alone this one and they wonder why young people around the world find it difficult to relate to them. It was back to the drawing board but they know that the public love a Royal baby so the heir to the throne and his good lady have been at it like rabbits and knocking out sprogs quicker than a Catholic whore house. However, as formidable a weapon as this is in the hands of the press, poor William, bald already, just doesn’t look as if he has the spunk for this type of fight! Seriously though, most Canadians I believe, are misinformed about the role of the monarchy in their country. They know that the Queen’s on the money—in more ways than one—but they also believe that she has no real power in Canada. Wrong! Everyone knows that the Governor-General is chosen by the Prime Minister, but that’s more of a gentleman’s agreement than a constitutional rule of law. Officially the Queen chooses that appointment to carry out her ceremonial duties as head of state and that’s the key, she is the head of state. They may also be unaware that they are contributing to the British Royal Family from their taxes. Canadians pay $1.57 per person per year to support the Queen or just over $50 million per annum. It’s not a lot when you look at it like that, but it is when you consider that the British only pay $1.32 per person per year and they get to keep the crown jewels. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not attacking the UK or the British people in any way. My mother was English, I started school there, and spent most of my childhood and some of my adult life in London. I have dual nationality and I still haven’t shaken my English accent. I’m proud of my heritage but I’m not proud of the Royal Family, who in my opinion have done precious little to distinguish themselves or justify their enormous wealth and privilege in this world. I believe that the British monarchy has no future in Canada and that they should be replaced with a Canadian, democratically elected head of state, similar to the system that they have in France. This change should come about when the reign of the present Queen Elizabeth II comes to an end. In other words, when she’s brown bread. I will finish with a quote from Paul Heinbecker. A prominent Canadian diplomat and policy advisor, taken from an article in ‘The Globe and Mail’. “We should change the Oath of Citizenship to require new Canadians to swear allegiance not ‘to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, Queen of Canada, Her Heirs and Successors…’ but just to Canada, and to the Canadian Constitution and rule of law.” Is this too much to ask? What do you think? I’m not just looking for Canadian responses here but from all over the world. The USA, UK, Australia, France, and Scandinavia (I know that you also have Kings and Queens, it’s just that nobody knows who they are).