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OOPS!

 

This post just *MIGHT* have been a tad political.

 

I removed rather than cause problems.

 

Sorry.

 

I'll find some silly cat pictures.

Edited by jamessavik
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I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. So, everyday I walk down the street and tell people what I ate, how I feel, what I did, and what I will do next. I also listen in on conversations of others and tell them 'I like'. I even 'poke' them, and it really works. I already have three people following me....a policeman, a psychiatrist and a psychologist.

Edited by MikeL
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I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00.

 

I said, "May I have large bills, please".  

 

She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."

 

When I got up off the floor, I explained it to her.
 

Edited by MikeL
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HOME SCHOOLED

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done:  "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me religion:  "You better pray this will come out of the carpet."

My father taught me about time travel:  "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me logic:  "Because I said so, that's why."

My father taught me irony:  "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about contortionism:  "Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about hypocrisy:  "If I told you once, I've told you a million times.  Don't exaggerate!"

My father taught me wisdom:  "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

My mother taught me about justice:  "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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A thoughtful Scottish husband was putting his coat and hat on to make his way down to the local pub. He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Brenda - put your hat and coat on, lassie.’

She replied, 'Awe Dear heart, that's nice - are you taking me tae the pub with you?

'Nay,’ he replied ‘I'm turning the heat off while I'm out.

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