Physical Descriptions of (Main) Characters.

[Merlin]

What are your thoughts as to how to describe characters? I find myself slightly unable to maintain immersion in the story when an author thrusts an over-long description early on in the story (like the classic "I looked in the mirror, this is what I look like"). That said, I can't think of a better way to do this early on all at once without resorting to some sort of a description that would break the flow.

 

So, for example, at the beginning of the story an author might write:

 

"He had X color hair, Y color eyes, was Z tall, was wearing ABCD. His lips were E, his face was F, his shoulders/arms/legs/feet were GHIJK...etc."

 

Would it be better to introduce these things one at a time, where you might describe the hair color, eye color, and general height at first, but continue to flesh out the description in subsequent scenes and chapters? Of course, a drawback to this would be the worry that readers lose interest and don't have enough information to properly imagine a character fitting your description and thus can't be properly immersed in your story.

 

What's a good strategy to achieve balance here?

[intune]

I like to try working description into the story. I don't think its necessary to give everything away at once in order for the reader to get a feel for who the character is. Readers are generally pretty good at coming up with a mental picture- I'm not saying don't give any information away, but if you want to work the descriptions in throughout the story I don't see a problem with that. I know this seems kind of a non answer, but I think that everyone develops their own style of writing and you should see what feels natural and comfortable to you when writing.

 

I'm gonna paste a paragraph from my story that has some description:

 

Sam was really fond of Jeremy. Ever since growing up together in Florida they had been very close; Sam found himself playing the part of a protective older brother. Jeremy was only two years younger, at seventeen, but he was terribly playful and naïve which gave him a childlike sensibility. Sam and Jeremy even looked like real siblings. They both had curly brown hair and brown eyes. Sam’s hair was a little longer and he had a tan, but other than that they could definitely pass for brothers.

 

And here's a story where I like the way the author portrays the characters:

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/duncan-ryder/howthelightgetsin

 

good luck!

[Nephylim]

Personally I think that describing a character as you did in your example is a sign a immaturity in a writer. It makes the story clumsy and doesn't get it off to a good start at all.

 

I think intune has it absolutely right. You can describe a character much better through action or another character;s eyes.

 

eg He ran his hands through the glorious length of his jet black hair that splilled over his shoulders as smooth as silk and, as he stared deeply into his beautiful bright blue eyes he knew he was falling hopelessly in love.

[colinian]

I wrote a story (Repugnance) where the protagonist is never described – including their gender. I pictured the protagonist as a girl. Most of the people who wrote me and referred to the protagonist used 'he' instead of 'she'. That surprised me because there are no hints about the protagonist's gender, so readers made up their own mind. I think that's cool. That means they got into the story enough to self-describe the protagonist.

 

Colin

[Andrew Q Gordon]

I think Nephy hit it on the head - the writer who does the 'I'm 17 with short brown hair, and a slim build' followed by a wank off scene in the shower before going to school where he rubs his hand over his hard abs and strokes his above average meat until he shoots' - is an immature writer - I'd go with lazy too as that is the easy way to get out the details you think the reader wants to read.

 

My suggestion is to not worry about the main character's exact physical description immediately. Height, build hair and eye color can be scattered throughout the first chapter. Have the characters interact and use the beats and other action to fill in the needed details. I mean does it matter what hair color your MC has in the first chapter? Maybe it does if that is an element of the plot, but otherwise work it in naturally and at the appropriate time, spacing out the details at they feel best.

 

Just my three cents,

 

Andy

[Cia]

I think you'll find most of us here at GA try to avoid that formula. I will scatter little bits of information of specific information about characters into the story at times but I try to give an idea in the beginning of a general idea of the characters. The first decription I gave of a character in one story was when another character ran into him and pretty much bounced off him backward. I used the term 'the unmovable object' because it would give the reader the sense of a solid form. That chapter indicates Tap is tall and muscular and Dane is short and fast which indicates thin. That was it for physical decriptions for the main characters but it gave the reader a sense of them and that was enough for me. I kept dropping in things in the first few chapters until the pictures of them were as complete as I wanted to give.

 

Another story I wrote I left the physical description purposefully vague. Some readers thought the main character was a girl, some a guy. Some thought the story's light and dark theme referred to skin tone and others thought it was paranormal. How you do or don't describe a character can be very deliberate. It lets the reader involve themselves a bit more in the story when they get to picture the character themselves, not have it painted for them right off the bat.

[Lugh]

herm... I rarely describe my characters unless the story demands it.

 

then again if I do... pay careful attention as my readers have learned... there is a reason for it and you may not like it later. snerks. Catara anyone?

[Merlin]

Very good--I thought it seemed from reading stories here that the consensus was to scatter bits of the description across chapters, so it doesn't come across as clumsy. But finding the right balance of "this is what the author (me) thinks the character should look like" while giving readers leeway to add their own imaginative characteristics is a fine art indeed.

[Zolia Lily]

I completely understand that. I think you have to just accept that readers are never going to see your characters exactly as you picture them- unless you actually give us a photo! I have come across plenty of stories where the characters are described by the preferred method of scattering description throughout... and then suddenly discovered their colouring is totally at odds to what i had pictured, or that there is something fairly glaringly obvious about their looks that i had overlooked when i pictured the character in my head... and in those situations? I usually ignore any character descriptions from then on and go with the image i have constructed rather than the author's idea!!!

I try to keep this in mind when i write and try to keep my details to a bare minimum unless their physical appearance is actually really important. I think it's like writing a sex scene in some ways- what the reader imagines will usually be more pleasing to them than anything the author can describe to them! No need to tell us how stunning this guy is - he is in my head anyway!!! And i get very very bored of reading about hotness and enormous cocks etc. I think less is more.

In the end what it comes down to for me is - how important is the character's appearance to your story line?

[Merlin]

I completely understand that. I think you have to just accept that readers are never going to see your characters exactly as you picture them- unless you actually give us a photo! I have come across plenty of stories where the characters are described by the preferred method of scattering description throughout... and then suddenly discovered their colouring is totally at odds to what i had pictured, or that there is something fairly glaringly obvious about their looks that i had overlooked when i pictured the character in my head...

 

This is very true. Sometimes when the author DOES give me a photo of the characters and the photo is not what I imagined, I lose interest in the story altogether because now I can't get the "wrong" photo out of my head.

 

Much safer to leave some leeway for interpretation.

[Billy Martin]

I think Nephy hit it on the head - the writer who does the 'I'm 17 with short brown hair, and a slim build' followed by a wank off scene in the shower before going to school where he rubs his hand over his hard abs and strokes his above average meat until he shoots' - is an immature writer - I'd go with lazy too as that is the easy way to get out the details you think the reader wants to read.

 

My suggestion is to not worry about the main character's exact physical description immediately. Height, build hair and eye color can be scattered throughout the first chapter. Have the characters interact and use the beats and other action to fill in the needed details. I mean does it matter what hair color your MC has in the first chapter? Maybe it does if that is an element of the plot, but otherwise work it in naturally and at the appropriate time, spacing out the details at they feel best.

 

Just my three cents,

 

Andy

 

I wish this embarrassed, immature, and lazy writer had read this before I started my story

[Lugh]

grow author grow!

 

become!

[Andy78]

I personally prefer the bare minimum when it comes to character descriptions. It allows the reader's minds to create their own picture of the characters and draws them even more into a story when they can personalise it.

 

One of the reasons why I dislike watching films based on books before I've read the book - you can't help but picture the character from the film.

[silver butterfly]

it would be better to not directly throw on a para on the audience describing the characters features.

it could go something like..

 

 

i saw him leaning on the grill relaxing his 5'9 body in a way that broke my peaceful demeanor.. wearing a well cut suit that hardly hid his well built athletic body caused me to throw him quite a few peeks from over my wine glass as i slowly chugged it down my throat along with his mouth drooling image.. feeling my stare .. he looked at me beautifully arching his well shaped brows.. and ouch the image!! thin lips perfect cute nose resting in the middle of his face and those liquid blue eyes... it couldn't.t get anymore devastating as i choked on my drink.. he slid a hand through his hair setting his already perfect light brown (or whatever colour) hair with bangs softly caressing his forehead as he gave me a smirk with an "i know you want me look"....

 

i hope ive been helpful

[Lugh]

so basically you just said "He was 5'9, blue eyed, and light brown haired..." with a bunch of other words in there all in a single paragraph.

 

Try this:

 

 

 

"So do you want to dance?" I asked the blond next to me.

 

"I don't dance very well," he replied with a lopsided grin that reached all the way to his blue eyes.

 

"What do you like to do then?"

 

"Persistant aren't you?"

 

I grinned this time. "Yep, that's me. Persistant."

 

He laughed and walked away, parting with a sharp, "We'll see."

 

Confused, I watched him go. He was tall, but not quite my six foot, and whip thin. He should have been able to navigate the crowd with ease, but when they pressed against him he stumbled slightly. I knew he wasn't drunk, so what was the problem?

 

"I see you met Jerry."

 

"Who?" I turned and looked at the person who spoke.

 

"Jerry. I'm Rupart by the way." He stuck out his hand for a shake.

 

I shook it, automatically repeated my name, and looked back over to where 'Jerry' had fled.

 

"He's shy. Has been since the accident. I'm not shy."

 

"Look, nice to meet you and all, but I have to go."

 

"So soon?"

 

"Yeah I have to set a mousetrap."

 

"So you are an exterminator?"

 

I smiled. "Something like that."

[Cia]

Lugh makes a very good example, actually. Not only did he give you several clues to Jerry, he's tall, thin, has blue eyes, and blond hair, he gave you more. He has some sort of balance issue, obviously so you get a description of how he walks and something to intrigue you with a question of 'accident? Is he hurt?' We know the 'I' is a bit taller, polite, and intrigued by Jerry, with a plan to get to know him obviously. Then I want to know what the plan is. We also got introduced to what could be a peripheral character, Rupart. We know he's gay and obviously interested in Jerry, and not afraid to show it. The lack of interest 'I' has in Rupart just shows the depth of his interest in Jerry.

 

Sometimes it's the small clues that give us an idea of the character beyond their physical. Those clues help flesh out the character and let the reader really into who they are.

[option]

so basically you just said "He was 5'9, blue eyed, and light brown haired..." with a bunch of other words in there all in a single paragraph.

 

Try this:

 

 

 

"So do you want to dance?" I asked the blond next to me.

 

"I don't dance very well," he replied with a lopsided grin that reached all the way to his blue eyes.

 

"What do you like to do then?"

 

"Persistant aren't you?"

 

I grinned this time. "Yep, that's me. Persistant."

 

He laughed and walked away, parting with a sharp, "We'll see."

 

Confused, I watched him go. He was tall, but not quite my six foot, and whip thin. He should have been able to navigate the crowd with ease, but when they pressed against him he stumbled slightly. I knew he wasn't drunk, so what was the problem?

 

"I see you met Jerry."

 

"Who?" I turned and looked at the person who spoke.

 

"Jerry. I'm Rupart by the way." He stuck out his hand for a shake.

 

I shook it, automatically repeated my name, and looked back over to where 'Jerry' had fled.

 

"He's shy. Has been since the accident. I'm not shy."

 

"Look, nice to meet you and all, but I have to go."

 

"So soon?"

 

"Yeah I have to set a mousetrap."

 

"So you are an exterminator?"

 

I smiled. "Something like that."

 

now thats a nice way of getting it across, & it has descriptors for 2 characters

 

whats it from?

[Lugh]

now thats a nice way of getting it across, & it has descriptors for 2 characters

 

whats it from?

 

it was an example... from nothing.

 

thank you.

[Gandalf]

Which proves that you, Lugh, should be writing more: Pleaze.

[Henry_Henry2012]

I'd rather have the character's personality define what he/she would appear to be on the reader's presumptions. But then again, it depends on the storyline. My current story clearly described what the character looked like, only because it was paramount to the storyline.

 

There are certain elements in a conversation that stereotyped personalities (not the discriminating or racist kind) would sometimes help in defining how a character would look like. Even the accents, slang, and quirks in the conversation helps.

 

I once read a story, I seriously forgot the title of the book (mind my memory, it's disgruntled at the moment) and the protagonist's best friend was supposed to be a geek/nerd/tech-savvy computer hacker. Never did the the author describe what that character looked like, cause the nationality or the race didn't matter in the storyline or the character description. It's the quirk of that character, who supposedly loved Jamba Juice, loved long jogs in the beach, has had a ferrari, has had an undying fascination with Princess Lea, and a geek who owned 3 laptops and 5 desktops as he lived in his mother's basement, which made me discern that he lived in L.A., was a star wars fanatic, and was a millionaire computer hacker who works for the IRS.

 

I'd always know a good book or story if the character's dialogue has already defined my perceptions about that character, even before it was described. The amazing part would be if it my imagination tallies with what the author wishes to pertain to the character description -- and sometimes it's not. If it's not, then I reread the story.

[JamesSavik]

Show. Don't tell.

 

Three people have come together by chance. They are physically identical except for hair color and age differences.

 

__________________

 

Doctor May spent the next hour doing exams on all three of the young men. With the single exception of their hair color, all three were genetically identical. She asked all of the same questions that they had asked each other plus a few that they had not thought of.

 

When she was done, she had them sit around a table and the said, “Standard pre-natal genetic screening did not produce you three. You have been engineered. There was certainly a person that was the basis for your genes but there has been a great deal of modifications and tweeks.”

 

She pulled up their DNA profiles and put all three side by side. She pointed to a pair of chromosomes and said, “This is a standard genetic mod. It jacks up your immune system and makes you resist infection and edits out autoimmune problems. However- it goes way beyond what is generally done. This one I don’t have a clue about, or this one, or this one, or the score over here. Somebody who knew a lot more about the human genome than I do designed you.”

 

Jeff said, “If I understand what you are saying, we are all three like the same class or model like a ship or a fighter? If we’re all genetically identical, why is our hair color different?”

 

The Doctor nodded. “That is essentially correct. I don’t need to tell you how illegal it is for anyone to do something like this. One of the reasons for the Genome Protection Act was to keep people from experimenting on human subjects. Genetic modifications like this could have just as easily gone horribly wrong. Whoever did it was a certifiable genius. I suspect that the difference in hair color was strictly to make you look different enough to avoid questions.”

 

Tom’s face hardened and he growled, “My parents just wanted their kids to be able to survive cosmic rays and they got three freaks?”

 

Doctor May shook her head and said, “No. That’s not it at all. All three of you are exceptionally gifted in some way. Danny is a mathematical virtuoso. Jeff’s spatial perceptions are off the chart. Tom- you graduated third in your class at the Academy and are on a fast track to a command. Take it for what it is.”

 

“And what is that doctor”, Danny asked?

 

She said, “A gift. You all have the ability and the talents to make a significant impact.”

 

Danny said, “If that’s so, then we aren’t the only ones so gifted. Computer: link to Science workstation 1. Access project Cryptic.”

 

The data file that Danny had downloaded from his query on the fleet personnel files appeared on the Doctor’s workstation and began to scroll down the screen.

 

He said, “From what I can tell, there are thirty-two models and anywhere from a dozen to twenty-five people from each model. They are all spread out around the fleet so that each ship may have several people of different models but no two people of the same model are on the same ship. All together there are five hundred and forty-four of us in the fleet.”

 

 

Edited September 18, 2012 by jamessavik

[LemonFresh]

actully i try not to be over descriptive when it comes to my characters because i feel when you give a basic outline of a character it give the reader the ability to plug in thire own idea of what they look like and therfore makes it more personal for them. i dunno that might be a bad thing but i just always like a story where i can imagine the charcter to look the way i see them so i dont really go beyond hair color eyecolor height and build type and hair style. and i let the reader fill in the blanks with the rest.

[crazyfish]

Really depends. Some readers needs descriptions. Some really hate them. Do what you want. Just don't write paragraphs of descriptions and stop the story cold.

[The Pecman]

What are your thoughts as to how to describe characters? I find myself slightly unable to maintain immersion in the story when an author thrusts an over-long description early on in the story (like the classic "I looked in the mirror, this is what I look like"). That said, I can't think of a better way to do this early on all at once without resorting to some sort of a description that would break the flow.

 

I think direct description is almost inherently an amateur move. To me, I think what works fine is to have other characters describe the lead character for you over a period of several chapters. For example, somebody observes, "hey, I see you got a haircut." Or somebody else says, "I see we're about the same height -- 5'10", right?" Or somebody walks up and says, "you're the most drop-dead good-looking guy I've ever seen. Where'd you get that scar on your face?" There's a million ways to do this kind of thing without having to resort to self-description or the mirror technique. 

[Timothy M.]

But sometimes readers won't let you get away with no description. I wrote a 20 chapter story where I never described the main character other than the fact that he was average to small in height / weight. But after reading the first two or three chapters someone told me that the absence of defining features (color of hair, eyes, etc) might be a problem - that this lack made it hard to relate to him. So I went back and added a few things where it could be done casually, even if it annoyed me to do so.

I really admire authors who can give the reader a feeling of the characters in their stories indirectly and naturally. Good examples above.