WilliamC99

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I met up with a close friend of his and his friend's new boyfriend who neither of us have met. the 4 of us hit off well and my boyfriend told me he thought the guy was pretty cute Not long after that his friend suddenly broke up with the bf who wasn't sure why so he reached out to mine to see what's going on. Somehow since then, the two of them have been texting non stop daily and I don't know what's going on. On the off-chance I see his name pop up on my bf's phone, he's very quick to say something off-cuff and then change the subject and then act quite obviously guilty about something. I don't like being jealous and I don't want to be the type to restrict what my bf does or who he talks to but this is really odd to me and I don't know how to take it. I confronted him once about it but it didn't get anywhere and he obviously won't be coming clean if there's something to come clean about. I don't want to demand to see his phone to see what they've been talking about, and i have been trying for weeks to let it go and be secure, but it's really bothering me and I'm not sure what to do.

Hello all! New member here, wanted to get you guy's advice. I'm 28 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for just over a year. Things are going great for the most part but I'm not the most secure person (working on it) and it sometimes causes issues because when I start to feel insecure about myself or my relationship - it tends to manifest into me putting up walls and shutting out the world and he hates when I do that. We genuinely care for each other and he currently even lives with me and we have healthy groups of individual friends as well as overlapping circles that have developed. However, he's always been the more social type and I find that he has so many more friends than I do. I know, I know, quality over quantity but as an extroverted introvert, it does sometimes make me envious of his (much) bigger social circle. Neither of us are the openly jealous type and we give each other freedom to live out our lives as I imagine healthy couples do. The problem I'm coming to find myself tormented over is that he has quite a few straight guy friends that he texts and sees all the time. I've never really had many straight friends growing up so it makes me a little envious. What really bothers me about the situation though is that I know how attached he is to them and he's even admitted he would sleep with / date quite a few of them if they were even remotely gay. What makes matters worse for me is that those friends are all so cool with him and me and cross boundaries just for fun (we've both kissed several just for fun when out at bars). As fun as that seems and sounds, it really makes me uncomfortable and I've even had a serious conversation with him once asking if he and so-and-so have ever done anything behind my back, which he says no. It just makes me feel as if I'm 2nd choice because I constantly feel that if any of his friends had been gay, he'd be with them and not me. And now that we are together and they are straight, I don't like imaging what level his whole can't-have-what-you-want thing is getting with his friends. It's like being with someone who you feel is constantly wanting other people but just don't have the opportunity. Is my jealousy/discomfort warranted or am I just letting my insecurities get the better of me? I don't want to restrict his social life nor should I, but I just feel off and it's not good for me.