Undetermined Identity - 7. Chapter 7...New Binginings

“The journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step.”

~Lao Tzu~

~*~*~*~*~*

The sky was a dark shade of steel gray. Thunder rolled, clapping over the heavy clouds, and streaks of lighting illuminated the horizon. The sprinkle of water had turned into a heavy, cold rain that poured down on Nick as he ran. He ran into puddles, causing a small wall of water to surround his feet with every step. Rain was hitting him hard in the face, burning the area, which was still red and swollen from where his wife had slapped him.

Nick didn't care that his clothes were drenched and practically hanging off him, he didn't care that the pain in his head was causing his temples to pulsate, or that his heart was pounding in his chest to the point that it felt like it was going explode. He deserved it. He deserved to feel the pain, to be hated... what he had done to Lisa, in his mind, was unforgivable.

As his feet took turns hitting the ground, agonizing thoughts filled his mind. His whole life was a lie. Who he was, or who he wasn't, was a lie; he had been lying to everyone, including himself, and now a baby was on the way. Tears ran down his face, mixing with the cold hard rain... he ran and ran, going faster and faster to wherever his legs could take him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~Danny’s Place

Danny had just stepped out of the shower; his lights flickering due to the storm raging outside.

“Oh no” he sighed as he dried off, grabbing a pair of soft sweat pants to wear. He decided to make a pot of tea and finish some of his homework to get his mind off the kiss he had shared with Nick ... the amazing kiss he had shared with Nick .

While he waited on the water to reach its boiling point, he looked through his CD’s and pulled out D.J. Shadows The Private Press CD. Popping it in, he swayed to the first song that played, called 'Fixed Income'. Danny was heading back to the dining room when there was a knock on his door.

Bam... Bam!!!!

"What the hell!” Danny asked himself as he looked out the window at the pouring rain, wondering who would be out in such weather. Shaking his head, he walked over to the door.

BAM...BAM...

"I'm coming, hold on...." Danny peered through the peek hole and hastily unlocked the door.

" Nick . Danny gasped in a low tone. "What are you doing here?” Danny stared at Nick , who was a mess a beautiful, lovely mess... soaked to the skin, hair dripping wet and shivering with the cold.

"Ca... Can I come in?” Nick asked, ducking his head as he bit his slightly blue bottom lip.

"Sure...sure come in, I'm sorry.” Danny stepped aside, allowing Nick to enter. "Are you trying to kill yourself? You're soaked, Nick .” Danny stated, deeply concerned.

Nick stood there, looking at the blond, not sure why he was there or what he was going to say. A flood of emotion rushed over Nick 's body and he just broke down, sobbing heartfelt tears. Danny didn't know what to do, so he chose to follow what his heart was begging him to do.

" Nick , it's going to be okay, whatever it is, it's going to be okay.” Danny stepped closer to Nick and wrapped his arms around the tall brunette. Nick laid his head on Danny’s shoulder as Danny placed kisses in Nick 's wet hair, rubbing his hands up and down his back.

"Shhh, it’s okay.” Danny comforted him, holding him tight. Nick inhaled a large breath of air and blew it out. He stepped back with his arms stretched out, and both hands on Danny’s shoulders; Danny was now was soaked as well.

"Danny...” Nick started to speak, but was cut off when Danny placed his finger over Nick 's lips.

“Let's get you out of these wet clothes and get you something warm to drink - then we can talk, okay?”

“ Okay.” Nick whispered, looking around Danny’s living room.

"Hey, could you turn off the water? I was making some hot tea, which I say you could definitely use.” Danny yelled from the bedroom. "I think I have some clothes that will fit you."

“ Sure.” Nick rubbed his hands over his cold shoulders, trying to generate some friction for body heat. He turned off the stove and walked over to the window; looking at the storm raging outside, while feeling an even bigger storm raging inside him.

“Hey, I think these might fit.” Danny said holding up a pair of Ralph Lauren drawstring, knee-length navy shorts. “Oh and here is a t-shirt. It might be a little snug, but it will have to do.” Danny walked into the kitchen and handed Nick the clothes.

“Thank you, Danny.” Nick took the clothes from Danny and instantly felt a warm, calming feeling over take him.

Danny walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a jar, full of tea bags.

“So what kind of tea do you want? Let’s see, I have... green, herbal, chamomile, peppermint, or English.”

“Any of them will be fine, umm... I’ll have whatever you're having.” Nick muttered as he admired Danny’s body; namely his firm ass.

“Peppermint it is!” Danny laughed as he reached for two cups. “Oh, I put a towel in the bathroom for you; you need to take a warm shower before you change.” He said as he turned around to face Nick , who was just standing there lost in thought.

“This was a mistake, why did I come here; why not go to Tyler’s? I mean he is my best friend.” Nick wondered, beginning to panic as the full brevity of the situation hit him.

“ Nick !” Danny called, bringing Nick from his hazed state. “Go, I started the water for you.”

“Okay.” Nick gave a weak smile, holding his temporary clothes as he headed for the shower.

Danny made tea for both him and Nick , and headed to the living room to wait for Nick to come out of the shower. Danny knew that something serious had to have happened for Nick to show up at his place, of all places; for Nick to break down and cry in front of him.

Danny blew into his cup and carefully took a sip of his steaming hot brew when he noticed Nick standing in the doorway, looking like a god. Danny’s heart skipped a few beats as he stared in awe at the tall brunette standing there, looking like a lost puppy with those beautiful blue eyes and that wet curly hair that fell perfectly on his forehead.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Nick replied softly.

“Your tea is ready.” Danny cleared his throat and unconsciously licked his lips as he watched Nick make is way over to him.

“Um… thanks.” Nick sat at the corner of the sofa farthest away from Danny; as if he was afraid to sit close to him.

“Here” Danny pushed a cup of tea toward Nick . “You should drink it before it cools.”

“Thanks again, Danny.” Nick took the cup and took a small sip, lightly burning his top lip.

“Ow.” Nick sighed, tilting the cup towards his lips to take another, more cautious sip. He peaked over the edge of his cup into Danny’s enticing brown eyes, to find out that Danny’s eyes were fixed on him as well. Danny gave Nick a warm smile before shyly ducking his head down to take another sip of his tea. Both men sat in silence, but it was not awkward at all. In fact, it was very tranquil and rather calming. Thunder rolled over the rain-filled clouds as lighting streaked across the dark sky, illuminating it.

“I hate the rain.” Danny stated in a hushed, somewhat scared tone while gazing out the window.

Looking into Danny’s scared eyes, Nick responded. “It’s okay for me; I find it rather relaxing.” Nick took another sip of his peppermint tea and leaned back on the sofa. The room became quiet again, then out of the blue Nick said, “Lisa’s pregnant.”

Danny was caught off guard by Nick ’s admission. “Oh.” After a stunned moment of silence, Danny asked, “Is she happy… are you happy?”

Nick sighed, “She was happy... until she found out that I wasn't.”

“Really, wow... a baby, huh?” Danny sounded defeated. He hadn't known Nick for very long at all, but he figured he would never walk away from his wife and child, so any fantasies he had been having of ever being in a relationship with Nick were now a colossal waste of time.

Nick watched Danny’s eyes and body language, trying to gauge his response, trying to figure out what Danny was feeling, not what he was saying.

“I’m getting more tea, would you like another cup, or do you want me to warm that up for you?” Danny asked, getting up from the couch.

“Sure, another cup would be fine, thanks.” Nick used all of his strength to keep from pulling Danny back down beside him and hiding in the comfort of his arms forever.

'Wow a baby, man I’m still trying to wrap my mind around that! I can't imagine how Nick must be feeling, my god, what about Lisa,' Danny thought as he watched the water start to boil. He shook his head as he watched the falling rain outside his window.

Although it was raining outside, a rainstorm was pouring, pouring into the depths of his heavy heart and drenched soul that was drowning him. The only life jacket that could save him was the one he could never have… Nick . Danny sighed heavily as he reached for the tea bags.

“Mmmm,” Danny let out a soft moan as he felt heat, the heat of Nick ’s body pressed against his. Danny’s heart raced, as his blood pumped hot want within his veins.

“ Nick ?”

“Shhh,” Nick whispered into Danny’s ear. Danny stayed dead still, swallowing hard and trying to steady his breathing. Nick wrapped his arms around Danny’s waist and stepped closer behind the blond. With shallow and bated breath Nick spoke three, simple words; words that meant everything to Danny.

“I want you.”

Nick turned Danny around, their chest touching, hearts beating together as one - faces so close that Danny could feel Nick 's breath. Their lips were only inches apart. Nick ever so slowly placed his lips upon Danny’s mouth and kissed him. He pulled back, and after looking deep into Danny’s lust filled eyes, he leaned in to press their lips together again, this time with more force and with a sense of life saving urgency.

“Mmmm,” Danny moaned as he tilted his head slightly, placing his tongue at the entrance of Nick ’s lips. Danny was granted permission to slide his tongue into Nick 's mouth and the heated kiss burned between them, branding their souls together.

Moans filled the air as their bodies responded to the game of tug of war that their tongues were playing. Nick ran his fingers vigorously through Danny’s blond hair as he continued to deepen their kiss.

“I... want... you,” Nick moaned in Danny’s mouth, between kisses and short breaks for air. Danny pulled back hesitation clear in his actions as he looked into Nick ’s wanting blue eyes. Nick could see the look of confusion, fear, desire and need in Danny’s eyes, and the pleading for Nick to say the words that Danny needed to hear.

“It’s okay Danny, I won’t hurt you, I promise…I won’t hurt you.” Nick rested his forehead on Danny’s as he stroked his tearstained cheek, kissing his gently, softly.

“Are you sure you want to do this, I mean this is a big step Nick , and with Lisa and the-”

“Shhh,” Nick gently placed his finger on Danny’s mouth to hush him.

“I know it’s not going to be easy... as a matter of fact, hell might be better then what I am going to have to face. But my life with Lisa has been a lie since day one, and no baby could change that.” Nick reached for Danny’s hand and started to lead him towards the living room.

“Wait!” Danny turned off the boiling water, before turning back and following Nick . Once they were both seated, Nick faced Danny and continued.

“My whole life has been a lie. Danny, I’ve fought this battle within me for far too long, and when I met you… I don’t know, I can’t explain it. Danny, you awakened something inside of me that I've tried to hide all my life. I’m starting understand that it's okay to be with a man, and still be a man.”

Nick took Danny’s hand and kissed it. “I have to deal with Lisa, her parents and the baby.”

“ Nick .” Danny interjected. “You will be a great father to your son or daughter; I believe in you.” Danny stated with confidence as he kissed the back of Nick ’s hand.

“Thank you, Danny... even though I don’t feel like I’m ready for a child, I would feel a little better if I knew I didn’t have to do it alone.”

“What... What are you asking?” Danny leaned back from Nick so he could look into his eyes.

“No... No Danny,” Nick laughed. “I’m not asking you to shoulder the responsibility with me; I’m asking you to just be with me. You know… to date?” Nick said, waving his hands as if they would explain everything. You do understand, right? Nick thought.

“So, let me get this straight.” Danny said looking seriously at an anxious Nick . “You want to date me?...Hum…let me think about it for a second.” Danny said, looking contemplative. He sat there for about half a second before saying as cool as a cucumber, “Sure, what the hell, why not?"

“What the hell, you ass!” Laughing, Nick grabbed Danny and pushed him backwards on the couch, planting kisses all over his face and tickling him. Their playfulness soon turned into lust and passion as their lips pressed into one another.

“Can we seal the deal, Nick ?” Danny asked trying to catch his breath.

“Sure.” Nick said in a lustful whisper. “But Danny...” Nick ducked his head, feeling embarrassed about the confession he was about to make. “This will be my first time with… with a man.,” he admitted, biting his bottom lip.

“I figured as much," Danny replied easily, "I don’t have much experience either, so we can figure it out together, okay?” Danny reached for Nick ’s hand.

“Okay.” Danny took Nick 's hand and led him into his bedroom.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~