Undetermined Identity - 11. Chapter 11...Brighter Days

“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:

This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.”

~ Stacey Charter ~

~*~*~*~ Chapter 11

Nick sat, anxiously awaiting for her arrival; he had arrived twenty minutes early. He wanted to be relaxed - as if that were possible. He dreaded this, but he knew it needed to be done. His hopes were they could get along for the sake of the child."The child, what a shock," he thought, still trying to process everything that had transpired over the last month. Although Nick was not ready to be a father, he was going to give it the old college try.

He thought about how furious Lisa was going to be and smiled to himself. Nick called the doctor's office and lied to the receptionist to find out when Lisa's next OB appointment was going to be. He had told the young woman that he had promised his wife that he would accompany to her next appointment, but had forgot when it was; with her being so emotional, he didn't want to add any more stress. The excuse, along with a little sweet-talking and his Tsangaris charm, was enough for the lady to tell him that Lisa's next visit was on Thursday at 1:00pm.

"Excuse me" Nick’s thoughts were interrupted by a waiter. "Are you ready to order, or are you still waiting on the rest of your party?"

"Um...let's give her a few more minutes, okay?" Nick nodded.

"Sure, I'll check back in a few moments. Would you like another beer while you wait?"

"Yes, that will be fine.” Nick gave a warm smile and watched as she walked away. Nick looked up and noticed his guest had arrived. He stood up and motioned her in his direction.

“ Nick baby, it’s so good to see you.” Mrs. Taylor said as she hugged Nick. "You look good as always.”

“Thank you.” Nick kissed her on the cheek and pulled a chair out, offering her a seat.

“It’s really good to see you to.” Nick said, feeling a little nervous. Lisa’s mom called him and invited him out to dinner; according to her, it was time that she heard his side of what’s was truly going on with him and her daughter. Nick knew Mrs. Taylor to be a busy body, but she had sounded deeply concerned.

“You look wonderful, Mrs. Taylor.”

“Ah…ah…ah, Nick call me mom, please.” She said reaching for Nick’s hand.

“Okay, mom... you look wonderful.”

Nick took a sip of his beer, and after clearing his throat, he asked, “So how is the doctor?” In a desperate attempt to making small talk

“Busy, as usual.” Mrs. Taylor replied, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling. She adjusted herself in her, and placed her napkin in her lap.

“How’s work going?” She asked. “I was at the Doctor’s the other day and Sillyville was on the television, “she gave Nick a proud smile. “I just love your work, I know the lady next to me thought I was crazy when I leaned over and said 'My son is behind the camera!'."

Nick laughed a little, trying to relax. “You were always my biggest fan.” He said as he kissed the back of her hand.

“But enough of the small talk. Nick, tell me; what happened with you and my daughter?”

This was it, the part Nick had been dreading, He sighed, ran his hand through his hair, and pressed his lips together before speaking sloftly. “Well mom, what do you want to know?”

“The truth, Nick, just the truth.” She put her finger up to her lip with a thoughtful look on her face. “No, that’s not fair to you.” She paused, carefully speaking her next words. “You haven't been home in a couple of weeks. Do you plan on coming back home?”

Nick looked up with a sad look in his eyes and shook his head 'no.'

“No, I can’t.” He shrugged his shoulders

“So it’s true.” She squeezed Nick’s hands with tears in her eyes, Nick squeezed her hand back while looking down at the table.

“What do you mean?” he asked, suspecting that she already knew the answer. Just as Mrs. Taylor about to reply, the server arrived to take their order. Mrs. Taylor tried valiantly to hide the tears forming in her eyes as she ordered a glass of wine. She and Nick both ordered a small salad; neither one of them were hungry at this point. They both watched the server walk away before turning their attention back to each other.

Instead of waiting for her to say it, Nick did. He bit his bottom lip and swallowed hard, hoping that the words would not get stuck in his throat.

“Mrs. Taylor, I didn't move out of the house because Lisa told me she was pregnant.” He sucked in a huge breath of air, then exhaled. "I've been unhappy for such a long time, not because of anything Lisa has done,” He made sure to point out. “She’s been the best wife a man can ask for.”

“Okay.” Mrs. Taylor agreed, nodding slowly.

“It’s just,…you see.” Nick was struggling with the words. He wanted to blurt it out, but it came out in a whisper.

“I’m gay.” He said faintly. He looked over to see Mrs. Taylor, who sat silently with tears streaming down her face; as if she was sobbing on the inside. She breathed in slowly; taking her hands to her cheeks, she wiped away her tears.

“Lisa loves you so much Nick, and the thought of losing you is tearing her up inside.” Mrs. Taylor stated as tears continued to run down her cheeks.“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, I hope you understand that.”

“I know.” Nick spoke softly with tears forming in his eyes. “And I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt her. I - I just can’t live my life as a lie anymore.”

“What about the baby?” She asked with concern evident in her voice.

“I’m going to be a father.” Nick answered. “I wasn't expecting it, but I’m trying to embrace it, accept the idea that the child Lisa is carrying is mine. I have every intention on being there for the baby, and for Lisa if she will let me”

“I’m glad to hear that son; I know you will make one hell of a dad." She said smiling. “I have every confidence in you.” She stroked his hand softly.

“Thank you, it means a lot to here you say that.”

“I’m not going to lie, I would prefer my grandchild to grow up in a loving home with two parents that love him or her, but who also love and respect each other. “She stated. “But I will settle for two loving parents.”

Nick ducked his head. While one part of him was sad, another part felt hopeful.

“The life you are choosing is…” Nick cut her off, looking into her eyes as he stated.

“I mean no disrespect, But It’s not about choosing, it’s who I am, who I’ve always been deep inside that is, and I’m ready to face it head on.”

“Good, just so you know, you will always be my son. I know you are a wonderful man.” Mrs Taylor said, putting an heavy emphasis on man.

“Here you go.” The server sat the plates of salad down in front of each of them.

Nick and his mother-in-law finished the evening talking about lighter subjects that didn’t involve Lisa, the baby or Nick’s sexual preferences. Nick paid for dinner, and walked Lisa’s mother to her car before gently kissing her cheek.

“Thanks.” He whispered softly in her ear. He closed her door and made sure it was locked before watching her drive off. He stuck his hands in his pocket, did a little turn in the parking lot, and whistled as he briskly walked over to his truck. He was surprised that things turned out so well tonight.

~*~*~*~* Danny’s Place.

Danny was studying the chess board in front of him, trying to decide on his next move when he heard a knock on the door. Trying to concentrate, he sat there for a second when a second knock was heard. “Okay. Okay I’m coming." He muttered. He walked over to the door, still eyeing to the game of chess that he and Marshall were playing. He opened the door and was pleasantly surprised to see Nick.

“ Nick, what a surprise; a pleasant one, I might add.”

"Am I late?” Nick asked, looking around Danny’s shoulder.

“Late for what?” Danny questioned, looking confused.

“For this.” Nick wrapped his arms around Danny’s waist and pulled Danny’s body into his, kissing him deeply.

“Mmmm.” Danny moaned in delight at the feeling of Nick’s lips pressing against his. Nick’s tongue invaded Danny’s warm mouth as Danny welcomed the attack. Nick moaned ever so gently, savoring the intoxicating flavor of Danny’s kiss that made his heart race with excitement.

“Mmmm.” Danny moaned again, pulling back and licking his lips. “So, how did it go?” He asked, still in Nick’s embrace.

“It went well, better then I expected.” Nick answered as he swayed their bodies back and forth. “I missed you something awful today. You know, I just can’t get enough of you Danny.” Nick leaned in, kissing Danny on the neck.

Danny tilted his head back, giving Nick better access to the soft skin that Nick loved so much. Danny’s body started to respond to the attention he was receiving. He pressed his growing erection against Nick’s also hard member and slowly grinded against it. The sound of Marshall clearing his throat broke the men out of their trance.

“Um,…okay guys break it up before I have to bring out the hose.” He chuckled.

Nick and Danny both smiled, acknowledging his presence.

“Oh, hi Marshall.” Nick greeted with his arms still wrapped around Danny’s waist.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t know you had company! I should have called first.” Nick whispered in Danny’s ear.

“No, it's fine; I have nothing to hide, and besides, I love your surprise visits.” Nick finally released Danny from his embrace.

“Sure, don’t mind me; I’m just the lonely single gay friend.” Marshall said, sitting in front of the chess board. Nick looked to Danny with questioning eyes, and Danny just shrugged his shoulders back at Nick. Nick walked over to the chess set and studied the board. "I see you two got a game going, who’s black?” he asked, pointing down to the pieces.

“ Danny is.” Marshall replied absentmindedly, studying the game.

“ Danny, remind me to give you some lessons.” Nick laughed, putting his hand up to his mouth to hide the laughter.

“Hey, I’ve got some lessons for you.” Danny drawled seductively, wrapping his arms around Nick’s waist and kissing him on the back of the neck.

“Hey?” Nick turned and spoke quietly in Danny’s ear. “I thought I did okay.” he questioned in a hush tone.

“You did better then okay; I’m still finding it hard to believe it was you first time.” Danny giggled.

“Hey guys! I’m in the room.” Marshall reminded them.

Well I better get going.” Nick said. “I just got what I came for. You two enjoy your game.” Nick patted Danny on the ass and headed for the door. Danny walked him to the door, giving him another kiss and hug. Before walking out the door, Nick looked back.

“Hey Marshall, go easy on him, he doesn't know what he’s doing.” Nick snickered and walked out the door, leaving Danny standing there with his mouth wide open and a staggered look on his face. Shaking his head, Danny closed the door. Leaning his back against the doorframe, he laughed at his silly boyfriend. “Boyfriend, that sounds nice.” Danny thought as he headed back over to Marshall with a huge smile on his face.

~*~*~*~*Thursday afternoon

Nick waited patiently in the doctor’s office for Lisa’s arrival. He knew Lisa would beyond pissed to see him, but he didn’t care. He was going to be in their baby’s life, whether Lisa liked it or not. He decided to distract himself by reading the posters on the walls.

Lisa walked in and went straight to the check-in desk. She didn’t notice Nick in the waiting room. “Hi, I’m Lisa Tsangaris; I’m here for my ultrasound appointment.” Lisa said, and waited patiently for the receptionist to find her name.

“Tsangaris, Tsangaris- Ah, Yes! Lisa Tsangaris for the one o’clock appointment, correct?” The woman asked rhetorically. “If you would just wait over there,” she pointed to the seating area. “The doctor will be right with you.”

Lisa was confused by simplicity of the receptionist's orders. “Wait, don’t I need to fill out a form?” She questioned.

“Oh, no, you’re husband has already done that.” The receptionist answered. Now Lisa was really confused - and shocked, anxious, angry.

“My husband?” Lisa asked. The receptionist nodded and pointed with her pen.

“Yes, dear, he’s right over there.”

Lisa looked in the direction of point, and saw her fair-skinned, dark-haired husband. Him sitting so calmly caused Lisa’s emotions to boil. She turned back to the receptionist, who was reading her face. The woman suddenly feared for the man’s life when she saw the rage hidden in Lisa’s eyes.

“Thank-you,” Lisa said with a kind smile, and looked at Nick. He was sitting in a tacky green, plastic chairs reading a brochure. Lisa stormed up to him angrily. Nick didn’t notice her walk up to him until she cleared her throat. He quickly looked up.

“Oh, Lisa, you’re finally here.” He said off-handedly.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Lisa hissed.

“What does it look like I’m here for, Lisa? The ultra-sound of course,” Nick answered. Lisa glared at him, trying to burn a hole in his skull with her gaze alone, and almost succeeding.

“Leave, now. I don’t want you here,” She commanded.

“I do believe that the child that you’re carrying is mine too. I have every right to know what’s going on.” Nick retorted.

“I told you, you can’t have one without the other. So, are you choosing me?” Lisa asked with a sly smirk. Nick scoffed and shook his head.

“No, I’m choosing the child. And, I know this sounds very adolescent of me, but you’re being completely unfair.” Nick said. They were now staring each other in the eyes, trying to unlock some hidden message or feeling.

Nick then put on a sly smile. “Sit down, dear, you’re causing a scene.” He said and motioned to the number of people staring at them. Lisa licked her lips angrily and reluctantly sat down next to Nick.

“Oh, I’m being unfair? What about you, Nick?” Lisa whispered once the crowd returned to their own business. Nick eyed her carefully.

“What about me?” He asked.

“We’ve been married for two years, Nick. Damnit, it’s not fair to me. I loved you. I married you. Why did you choose me, knowing that you don’t even love me, let alone women? I thought we had something, but yet you decided to string me along in a relationship that wasn't real. How’s that for unfair?” Lisa seethed.

Nick looked down at his lap guiltily. He knew she was right. But, at the same time, he knew she was wrong. He did love her, just not the way she wanted him to. He sighed heavily, and Lisa grinned triumphantly and sat back in her seat. Nick was about to retort, but he was interrupted.

“ Nick and Lisa Tsangaris!” The doctor called from the office door. Lisa stood up and straightened her blouse. Nick was about to follow when she stopped him.

“I think I have this one covered, thanks.” Lisa snidely remarked.

“I believe she said ‘ Nick and Lisa Tsangaris.’” Nick replied with a smirk. Lisa growled under her breath and Nick motioned for her to go ahead. “After you,” He said. Lisa just stood there, glaring at him with her arms crossed. “Fine, after me,” Nick stated. He had only taken a few steps before Lisa pushed passed him, purposefully knocking her right shoulder into his left arm.

Nick smiled as he followed her in to the room provided. He sat down on the chair next to the wall and picked up an old magazine. The nurse handed Lisa a robe.

“Here, put this on and the doctor will be in to see you shortly.” She gave a warm smile. Lisa hurriedly took the robe, and trying to maintain her composure, she asked. “Where do you want me to change?” giving Nick a dirty look.

“Right here is fine; I’ll step out to give you some privacy.” the nurse nodded to Nick and gave Lisa a smile. She was about to step out of the room when Lisa stopped her.

“Hold on, can you take him with you?” She asked pointed to Nick with a huff. Nick smirked and got up. “I’ll wait outside.” Lisa held the folded gown close against her chest and watched Nick walk pass her out the door.

After Lisa had changed, Nick stepped back into the room along with Dr. Star. Lisa adjusted her gown before laying down on the bed. Nick went to her side, and Dr. Star sat down on a stool, pulling out her equipment.

“Hey, Lisa, how are you?” She asked.

“Oh, I’m doing fine. My father said that he hasn’t spoken to you in a while.” Lisa answered.

“Oh, yeah, how’s he doing?”

“He’s fine,” Lisa answered.

“Alright, Let's see hum..twelve weeks...you hide it well. Ok, Lisa, are you ready?” Dr. Star asked. Lisa nodded silently, and Nick waited patiently. Dr. Star squeezed the gel onto Lisa’s stomach and Lisa jumped slightly at the coolness of it. “Ooh, are you okay, hun?” She asked. Lisa nodded. Dr. Star took the transducer and placed it on Lisa’s stomach.

Dr. Star looked at the screen, moving the tool slowly. “Ok, Lisa… and Nick,” She said, pointing to the screen at a round shape. “That’s the head of baby.”

Lisa bit her lip and grabbed Nick’s hand. Nick was taken aback, but let the action pass without comment. Lisa swallowed hard as a tear rolled down her cheek. The Doctor continued to point out body parts.

“The stomach is right here,”

“Wow, he looks like an alien.” Nick commented. Lisa smacked him in the arm.

“Don’t talk about my baby like that.” She said jokingly. “Besides, how do you know the baby’s a boy?”

“I just know,” Nick commented. Dr. Star looked at them.

“Well, I could just tell you, if you’re ready to find out.” She commented.

“NO!” The future parents said simultaneously. They glanced at each other, but then quickly looked away. Subconsciously, Lisa squeezed Nick’s hand. Dr. Star curiously watched their interactions together.

“You know, a child is a blessing,” She said. Nick looked at her and nodded his agreement. “You both are very lucky, and seem like a very good couple. I’m sure the child will have amazing parents.”

“Thank you,” Lisa said, quickly releasing of Nick’s hand. Dr. Star cleaned off Lisa’s stomach.

“Okay, you can go change, and you,” She pointed at Nick. “Come with me, I’d like to discuss your next appointment.”

Nick nodded and followed the doctor out of the room. Lisa stood there for a second, looking at the now blank screen. She licked her lips. 'Will my baby have amazing parent?' She thought as she put her shirt back on. She hand just finished buttoning up her pants when Nick stuck his head in.

“Ready to go?” He questioned. Lisa nodded and walked out after him. Dr. Star waited for them and handed Lisa a slip of paper.

“This says when your next appointment will be.” Dr. Star explained. “I just talked to your husband about what you should be expecting within the next couple of months. If you have any more questions, just call.”

“Thank-you so much," Lisa said and Nick nodded in agreement. They both walked to the elevators outside the waiting room. Nick casually pressed the down button and they both stepped in when the metal doors opened. It was dead silent. They didn’t look at each other, and Nick focused on the red numbers that would constantly change with every floor until he finally decided to break the silence.

“You don’t want to do this alone,” He said, keeping his eyes on the numbers. It wasn’t a question, but more of a statement. Lisa looked down at her shoes. Out of the blue, the thought came to her mind that soon, she wouldn’t be able to see her shoes. Nick continued, “You can’t do this alone, and I won’t let you.”

Lisa looked up at him to see that he was staring back at her. The ding of the bell indicated that they had arrived on their floor, and the doors slowly opened. Nick gave a small wave and stepped off the elevator, leaving Lisa standing there. She watched him walk away and stepped off the elevator herself just before it closed.

~*~*~*~*~