The Debutante - 1. Chapter 1

Luke stood there, in his tails. Looking so uneasy that Hayden couldn’t help but chuckle, there was a certain innocence and uncertainty in the expression worn on his face that he loved. And again, as soon as the word popped in his head he snapped the rubber band on his wrist. Ultimately deciding that it paid off, as the thought ceased to disturb him.

Hayden made his way over to Luke, who was a part of a larger, boisterous group of seventeen and sixteen year old boys. With a single gesture, Luke was by his side like a faithful puppy, his big brown eyes pleading silently.

“You’ll be fine,” he assured the gentle giant. “Where’s Catherine?” Luke jerked a thumb backwards to a small group of girls who were squealing over their dresses, jewelry and make-up. Amongst those girls was the familiar short brunette who tried to look the part of fanatic girl but just didn’t quite fit.

“I’m going to talk to her; I shouldn’t be here so I won’t be long.” He pushed past the green-faced silent Luke and was with Catherine in a few seconds.

“Hayden, you’re here!” she exclaimed, looking totally relieved and flustered. “You have no idea, how nervous I am. Have you seen Luke, he didn’t look happy the last time I saw him.” she glanced around me to see her partner trying to keep a cool face and failing.

“What’s he worried about?” Hayden asked, slightly concerned and a little bemused.

“The dancing, he doesn’t think he’d do that well, I said I’d practice with him before we did it, but I’m going with the girls downstairs to sneak a peek.” She explained.

“Too bad..” Hayden said.

“Well, I was thinking, you know how you and Hannah swapped roles a few times when you did the dances last year?” He didn’t like the sound of how this was going but nodded anyway. “Could you run it through with him, I already talked about it, and he’s willing to try it, truth be told I think he’d screw a pig if he thought it would help.” She added.

“Charming.” Hayden sighed softly and turned once to look back at Luke, who was looking at them both, Giving them a small wave and an unsettled smile. Hayden turned back to Catherine and sighed again “Fine.”

She jumped up and hugged him. “Thank you Hayden, thank you, thank you!” she exclaimed kissing him on the cheek.

“Hey easy, you’ll ruin the dress.” He laughed and set her down. “You look beautiful by the way.”

She smiled brilliantly. “Thanks.”

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“Ow!” Hayden exclaimed for what seemed like the tenth time. In reality it was probably a lot more. “Luke you gotta watch your feet…” He growled

“Sorry…” Luke apologized looking ashamed of himself.

Hayden softened slightly at his behavior “It’s okay, I’m just trying to help, I shouldn’t get angry, try and have some more confidence, I’ve seen you at the practices, you’re an amazing dancer.” He admitted.

Luke flushed. “Really?”

“Yeah, and you always have this smile too, like you don’t care what else is going on..”

“Thanks…” they were quiet for a minute. “Let’s try it again.”

“Really” Hayden laughed a little. “Sorry, I just thought you’d want to stop, I mean I don’t want you to be uncomfortable dancing with me more than you have to.”

“No I need the practice so come on.” Luke came up against him again and took his hand softly, the other going to the small of Hayden’s back, who prayed that Luke couldn’t feel the thud of his heart, and the way that the gentle touch of his hand had him recoiling in waves of emotion.

After a few minutes they were moving in perfect steps, Luke leading the entire way “Closer..” he muttered.

“What?” Hayden asked, looking up slightly..

“You’re too far away.” Luke repeated. Then with a push Hayden was up against his chest. From the other room there was a sliver of noise leaking into their empty side compartment, It was the perfect song to waltz too and that’s what they were doing, now just moving slowly around the room to the time of the music outside.

Hayden shivered with delight. “Luke….”

“Just… a little more… please…” he pleaded, Hayden could feel him fighting the urge to run, and it hurt a little inside. So they kept going..

As the song finished, they didn’t. Feeling that it was time he got out before he got more hurt than he deserved Hayden set his feet still. “Okay..” he said clearing his throat. He stepped back from Luke’s encompassing arms. “You’re going to do great.”

He reached up without looking him in the face and straightened Luke’s already straight tie and fixing his lapels. “You did great, just it’s easier not to think.”

“Hayden…” Luke grabbed onto the other boys wrist.

“C’mon Luke your going to be late. And I don’t want to be blamed by Catherine.” Hayden said pretending not to be completely unstuck as every nerve in his body wanted to latch onto the dark haired sullen boy mere inches away.

“Look can we just-“ Hayden held up a hand, stopping Luke.

“No… not now ok.” Hayden sighed, clenching and unclenching his fists. “I cant do this now, so go and do what you’re here to do tonight. Like I said, you’ll be amazing.” Luke backed away

Hayden turned away ignoring the hurt look in his eyes.

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“Don’t they look good together.” Ethan commented, his arms folded and a grimace on his face. Hayden didn’t know why he seemed so unhappy and probably wouldn’t ever know.

He resigned himself to watching the pair dance, Catherine practically oozing elegance and Luke, well he was doing perfectly

It didn’t take long for them to finish their first dance and as they all ate together Luke didn’t even glance at Hayden even once.

By the time they were finished with dessert it was time for the last dance, Catherine and Luke both stood and left out the back entrance where they would all meet and Catherine’s uncle, who had recently been put in a wheelchair passed his camera to Hayden.

“Could you get some pictures?” he asked. Hayden took the camera and went to take his place just at the foot of the dance floor and waited.

In a few minutes the couples came out again and all of them started dancing. Hayden took as many pictures as he could and eventually someone close to him mumbled. “What’s Luke staring at?”

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It was the after party, drinks were thrown around as everyone celebrated the end of the term as well as the fact they had all made it through the entire show. Hayden had driven himself Catherine Luke and Luke’s best friend Ethan out to the party just outside a private property and in the middle of a paddock with a bonfire and about four to five eskies with assorted drinks.

He had only planned to stay for a little while, to make sure the kids that got sick, and there would be plenty of those, got home safely. And to dance.

Someone had set up an amazing music/stereo set up and there was a group of mixed aged kids dancing in front of it, as soon as he saw it he was there, the deep thud of the bass drove him to lose thought of all the problems that had happened through the night.

Now that he was on the floor with the other guys he forgot everything. Until he caught Luke’s eyes, beckoning him over to the edge of the party. Refusing to let himself be pulled by his charm Hayden turned his back and moved away to the opposite edge, praying to god that his heart beat wasn’t louder than the thrumming bass, even though it felt like it was.

Thud, Thud, Thud.

Rapidly beating out faster than any techno, than any song had ever produced, he just had to get through this night without him fucking it all up again. He needed to be strong.

“Having a good time?” Ethan roared over the constant stream of music. Hayden, never liked Ethan, not once, his all too short shorts., and footballers legs, blue eyes and strangely blonde hair. It seemed to attract the women but Hayden couldn’t see him that way at all.

But it wasn’t just his physicality it was the personality that went along with it, the ever present cockiness and attitude that said I’m better than you and everyone knows it. But instead of saying all this Hayden just replied. “Yeah, this is awesome.” He partway lied.

Ethan moved off without another word and Hayden just kept thinking, keep moving. And he did, all night, he never stayed in the same place for longer than a minute, even less if Luke showed up.

But he couldn’t stay away for long. And soon, there he was in all his puppy dog grandness, the sad somber look in his eyes, the short dark hair. Everything made him beautiful and he didn’t know it.

“Now?” It was funny, Hayden thought, that such a simple three letter word, could change the tone of an evening in a few seconds.

Luke led him away, away from the madness that had become just a giant drunken group of noise. But, Luke didn’t seem wasted, or even a little tipsy, like he staved off the drink just for this moment all night. Hayden almost admired that, when he was the same age he wouldn’t have had that much patience, even if they were only a year apart.

“What Luke, what do you want?” He asked briskly.

“To talk…” he mumbled back.

Hayden glared at him. “No I meant what do you want.”

“I dunno…” Luke wouldn’t look at him.

“Oh c’mon Luke just tell me!” Hayden demanded.

“I don’t know! I really don’t know!” He exploded. “You know this is all your stupid fault!”

“After Catherine dumped me I thought maybe I could just focus on something else for awhile, so I did, I played more sport, I spent time with Ethan and my mates, I drank more.” He paused and made sure that Hayden was still there. Or atleast that’s what it looked like.

“I even tried drugs at one stage, just for a few days, and that was long ago so don’t worry.” He added before Hayden could get angry. “then when Catherine asked me to be her Deb partner I said yes partly because I thought I still loved her.”

“But then you” He pointed at Hayden “You decided you just had to give her a lift there, the guy I knew was gay, the guy in the year above me who liked me.”

“I have a name..” Hayden interjected.

‘Not then you didn’t.” Luke shot back, slightly aggressively. “You’re the one we all made fun of, who came upstairs into the art room when I had art.. You gave her a lift, and me too, and I saw how uncomfortable you were, and I saw you watching us as we practiced and practiced. Then something stupid happened, I decided that I felt something other than a sort of friendship. I was scared. And you just got nicer and nicer, all our friends liked you, you were the only gay guy who didn’t act gay.”

Hayden didn’t like this conversation, it was far too emotional, and Hayden couldn’t deal with that.

“I don’t know what I want, and I probably wont for a long time But one thing I want to try is you.” That was the end of his speech and then he was on Hayden, pushing him down onto the ground and prying his mouth open with his own, admittedly Hayden made it fairly easy.

They gripped at each other with Luke still on top, his weight, warm and comforting. His kisses slowing down, to soft ones, that made Hayden shiver all over. But he had to stop, if only for his self respect.

The effort if took to push Luke aside did strain his muscles. But as soon as he was off Hayden was standing. “What’s wrong?”

For a minute, Hayden wouldn’t answer, Looking at the ground instead then. “I'm not something to just give a go and decide later you don’t want it after all.” He glanced up at Luke for the first time and could only see flickers of his face as the bonfire flared up. “And I wont wait around while you decide, I’m not going to be here much longer, you still have a year left to figure yourself out. Don’t pin it all on me, I cant… I cant be your scape-goat..” Hayden set off again, leaving behind a hurt Luke, and made his way back to his car.

A voice in the back of his head told him he should stay around to help the kids out. But all his brain said was to fuck the kids, they didn’t just give up something they were dieing for, they were just drunk and would probably end up screwing each other without a care for the aftermath.

He turned the key bringing his car to a roaring start, and set off through the paddock along the dirt road. “thank god for my p’s” he muttered to himself. He didn’t let his mind wander back to Luke or back to the paddock as he came out onto the main road. Only an hour and he’d be back home, in his own bed with his selfish cat and books to lose himself i.n.

The blare of music started to come to life from somewhere, Hayden checked his radio and it wasn’t on, only when the lights flashed in his rearview did he notice the car screaming up from behind him. When it started to tail him closely he waved a hand to let them pass, they did and three kids stuck their head out the side window pulling faces and waving bottles around.

Hayden shook his head, slightly annoyed at their behavior, as they sped ahead Hayden did a double take, in the back of the Ute was not only the part of the sound system from the paddock, but Catherine and her boyfriend making out as the car sped down the road.

Hayden slammed his horn,. They were underage, drunk and stupid. Weaving in and out of the lanes and their music way too loud.

“Catherine!!” Hayden roared out the window, pulling up beside them, she glanced around looking for the sound. Her eyes moving too slowly to really be taking in her surroundings.

“Oh hey Hayden!” she called back over the whipping wind and noise. “Isn’t this cool!”

“No, you stupid fuck what are you doing, you’re going to get killed!”

“Relax fag!” That voice shouldn’t be here. Hayden instantly thought.. Luke was hanging out backwards out of one of the windows..

“Luke, c’mon get them to stop!”

“Why should I? Do I get a blowjob out of it?” He sneered. There was no way he was drunk, He was barely tipsy before when Hayden was talking to him.

“No, I don’t service jerks!” he screamed back. He began to tear up, angry and all his thoughts consumed by Luke. He didn’t notice as the car infront swerved to avoid the animal on the road and swing around fully in a one-eighty.

He did see Luke’s face a mask of complete fear just before he slammed the brakes down. And with a sense of finality he sighed in the second before impact.

Then darkness.