The Mean Girl - 1. Chapter 1

He’s kissing me!

 

I pushed him back as hard as I could. He tripped over a piece of bed frame and fell back on his butt.

 

He kissed me!

 

I want to say, what the fuck! Why did you do that!? But my mouth didn’t seem to want to move.

 

I turned and looked at her, and hoped that this was just some joke, but it wasn’t a joke...

 

I don’t know why but I got really angry. And for some reason, I just had to blame some one for all that anger.

 

It’s her fault.

 

Who does she think she is to do this to me? Just because we have been best friends since we were 5, doesn’t mean she can just come walking in back into my life after two years of being gone and mess with my life like this.

 

I couldn’t take it any more. I have to get out.

 

I stormed passed three of them, down the stairs, and out the front door. I got in my Suburban and drove home.

 

Why I reacted badly, I don’t know…

 

When I woke up this morning I did not expect any of this to happen. Not meeting up with her, and especially not kissing another guy…

 

I was late getting to class this morning. When I did get to my class I noticed an extra person. There aren’t that many people in that particular class, so an extra person is noticeable. I didn’t get a good look at who the extra person was because I was rather agitated that I was late and was in a hurry to give the teacher the pass and sit down.

 

“Here.” I handed the late pass to the teacher. I was about to head for my seats when I heard some one said my name.

 

“Steve?” I turned around and looked at the same person I noticed earlier. It’s a girl with blond hair, and dark green eyes that were staring at me in disbelief. I was never good at remembering people but this one person now matter how much she changed. I will always remember who she is. I wanted to say something but my mouth wouldn’t work.

 

After a moment she got up and headed towards me, and that snapped me out of the trance that I was in, and my mouth started to work again.

 

“Tera...?” I headed towards her. “Is that….” Before I managed to finish, she tackled me. We were on the ground, and before I can even respond to what happened or even prepare, she punched me.

 

“Asshole...” was all she said before getting up of me and headed for the door.

 

I held on to the side of my face and reeling from the shock of what happened, when the teacher got up hollered at Tera.

 

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!!!?” Tera ignored him and reached the door. She opened the door and left the room.

 

After what happened finally sunk in, I got up. The teacher picked up his phone and started dialing. “Are you alright, Steve?”

 

“I’m fine.” I said, and started for the door. When I reached the door I turned my back on it and looked at Mr. Martin. “If you get an administrator, I’ll deny what happened.” I turned the door handle. He hung up the phone. I left before he got a chance to respond.

 

I looked around and saw that Tera was at the end of the yellow carpeted hallway. She was sitting against the wall, hugging her knees. When she saw me coming towards her, she stood up and looked at me as if she was going to hit me again.

 

I was tensed up as she made a move towards me, bracing myself for another hit. But that never happened. She wrapped her arms around me. I eased up when I realized it wasn’t another attack, but a hug.

 

“I missed you so much.” She said with a shaky voice.

 

“I missed you too.” I replied and hugged her back

 

“Then why didn’t you call me?”

 

“I did. But it said it was disconnected.” She let go and took a step back.

 

“When did you call me?” She asked.

 

“About a month after I moved.”

 

“Why would it take you that long just to call me?” I didn’t answer her. I looked away from her gaze. I’ve been trying to forget every thing that happened before February. Thinking about what happened before always depresses me.

 

Tera start to hug me again.

 

“I am so sorry.” I wrapped my hands around her and hugged her back. When she let go and took a step back she was smiling. Then she reached out and put her hand on my head and started to pet my black hair, messing it up more than it already was.

 

“You got your hair cut.” She said.

 

I laughed “Yea. I decided it was using too much shampoo to wash.” We sat down against the lockers.

 

“So, why did it take you a month to call me?” she asked

 

“Do you remember parents? Well they haven’t changed. They’re still a bunch of losers. They got my brother to manage the utilities in the new house. Instead of changing the accounts from the name of the old owners to my parents, he got every thing disconnected.” I said

 

That made her laughed. I missed seeing her laugh. I missed seeing her. “Well if you tried harder and found a way to call me sooner, I could have told you that my mom decided to move.”

 

“Yea, I figured as much. How long have you guys been back?” I asked

 

“About three days.”

 

“Why did Kat decide to move?” She didn’t respond. The smile faded from her face and she looked away from me. She looked depressed about some thing. I started to get worried, and was about to say but she looked at me and it was obvious that she was forcing another smile on her face.

 

“Maybe we should get back to class. Seems like I have some damage control to do” she said, and I looked at her. I want to say something but she didn’t let me. “We need to catch up, and we will. You are coming over today, and that’s final.” She said, got up and went back to class. I started too laughed quietly to my self.

 

Damn I missed her. I eventually got up and followed her back to class.

 

Tera have English and History with me which was the first two hours of the day. But she didn’t sit near me. It was like she’s avoiding me. The people in my classes started to talk about her, which all of the guys seems to think she was extremely hot. It got irritating and rather sickening after the third guy that started to hit on her. It was obvious that they like her, and she obviously like the attention.

 

She had changed since eighth grade. She had gotten taller like 5’6 or something now. Hey I’m not a psychic ruler. Her hair use to be shoulder length but now it was down past her shoulders. And she was a lot tanner than how I remembered her.

 

People tried to ask me what I did to make such a hot girl hit me like that., but I ignored them and focused on trying to get to talk to Tera but she didn’t respond when I tried to get her attention within all of those two hours. Every time I tried to talk to her she just smiled at me.

 

School ended and all I wanted to do was find Tera. It took me a while to find her, because she didn’t tell me where meet her. I found her sitting on a bench at the northern entrance, which was the last place I looked. She gave me a piece of paper with an address on it, and told me to meet her there. When I mentioned Angel, she told me to bring her.

 

It took my forty five minutes to pick up Angel and driving to get to address that is on the piece of paper. The place I found is a white and two stories house and wasn’t far from the high school. It’s in a subdivision that was just down the street from the school.

 

When I ranged the doorbell, I was greeted by a really tall guy, with short, brown, and slightly gelled hair and pale blue eyes. He is like a foot taller than I was but he seems taller to me, and was obvious that he worked out a lot. He looks familiar. I think I’ve seen him some where.

 

He seemed surprised to see me but smiled and said, “Hi.” I looked at him and then looked at the piece of paper in my hand to see if I had the correct address. “You’re Steve, aren’t you?”

 

“Umm do I know you?”

 

“You should. We were in that class election together.” He said smiling.

 

I had to think about it, back to the class election. “Oh! You’re the guy who ran for vice president… It’s Alex… right?

 

His smile got broader. “That’s me!”

 

“Umm is this where Tera lives?” I asked. Things are starting to feel a bit awkward.

 

“Yea.” He said

 

“Then what….” Angel started to bark in the vehicle. “Excuse me for a second.” I turned around and headed towards my SUV to let her out. She was really happy when I let her out. She ran around and then peed on the lawn.

 

I headed back to the door where Alex was still there standing in the door way. This time he was talking to someone.

 

“I’m not imagining that there are two of you. Am I?” This whole situation is way too weird for me.

 

“No, you’re not imagining things.” he said, laughing. “He’s my twin brother.” He said.

 

“Hi. I’m Eric. It’s nice to finally meet you. I have heard a lot about you.” He said, extending his hand out.

 

I shook his hand and said, “Has Tera been talking about me?”

 

“Umm sure.” He said sounding a bit unsure.

 

“Is Tera in there” I asked sounding a bit agitated.

 

“No. She isn’t.” Alex said. I was really starting not to like these two. I am getting no where with them. And was about to leave when I heard a soft and tired sounding voice coming from behind the twins.

 

“Who is it? Why taking you guys so long just to answer the door?” As the voice neared the door, Eric moved out of the way. And I saw a face with a soft, familiar smile. The owner of that face has been like a second mother to me.

 

“Kat…?” I remembered Kat as a vibrant and animated woman. She used to look really young for her age. The first time Tera brought me home. I’d mistaken them for sisters.

 

The only thing that Tera didn’t get from her mom was her green eyes. Kats eyes are blue. She got her green eyes from her dad. I never had seen him before, but I had seen him in pictures. Kat said he died when Tera was in second grade. How he died I don’t know. Tera never really wanted to talk about it, and I never pushed.

 

Kat seems old and tired now, and a lot more grey hair than she use to have. But she still had that same comforting motherly smile that she always had.

 

“Steve?” she said. She walked up to me and she hugged me and I hugged her back. “It’s really good to see you again. You have changed a lot the past two years… You seem thinner than I remember though.” She let go and took a step back and I smiled at her. I was about to say something but she didn’t let me get a chance. “Well come on in” she said, as she headed back into the house.

 

I followed her past the two guys. Alex closed the door and both of them followed us, into a living room. There were still boxes. And as if she was reading my mind Kat said.

 

“Sorry about the mess. We haven’t finished unpacking.”

 

“It’s ok.” I responded. That’s when I saw a grey, furry blob in one of the boxes. “Gino!”

I went over to pet the cat. I miss this cat. I left Gino and followed Kat to the kitchen.

 

We continued to the kitchen. Where she opened the fridge and got out a two liter cola bottle. “Tera is out to get some food, because I haven’t had a chance to go grocery shopping… I’ll be right back. I need to find some glasses.”

 

I took a seat on a chair that was at the rectangular island that separated the dining room and the kitchen. Both the kitchen and dining room was spacious. But seem crowed by boxes that were piled around the room. The two guys came in and sat at the large dining table behind me. “Why are you two here?” I asked.

 

“We’re helping them unpack.”

 

“Umm… which one are you?” I asked the one that talked.

 

“I’m Eric.” he said and looked over at Alex, who seemed a bit uncomfortable. Eric however started laugh.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

“So, why are you here?” He avoided my question. It bugs me when people do that.

 

I didn’t get a chance to answer because Tera came in with bags from KFC.

 

“STEVE!!! You left angel outside!” She yelled as she went to the table. “I could have run her over.”

 

“She’s not that small!” I replied, sounding defensive because of her tone. “And she wanted to use the bathroom.” And then Kat came in with some glasses.

 

“Tera, you’re being rude! We have guests.” She said, sounding a bit annoyed.

 

“Sorry mom.” She said as she started to unpack the food. She passed every one some plastic-wear and paper plates. Kat passed out the glasses and put the cola in the center of the table.

 

Every one loaded themselves with some food, and sat around the table. I sat across from Tera, who was sitting next Eric. Alex sat next to me. Kat is sitting at the end of the table. Eric asked his question again.

 

“So why are you here?” And I didn’t get to answer again, because Tera answered for me.

 

“I wanted him here. We’ve known each other since kindergarten. And I wanted to catch up with him.”

 

“We haven’t talked to each other since the end of eighth grade.” I added. “That reminds me. Why did you guys move anyhow?”

 

“I wanted to travel a bit, because….” Kat began to say but Tera interrupted.

 

“So how have you and your family been the past two years?” She asked.

 

“I’ve been good, as for my family. I don’t know. I haven’t talked to them since February.” I replied.

 

“What do you mean you haven’t seen them since February?” Kat asked, looking worried. “What happened to them? Who are you living with? Where are you living?”

 

I laughed. “You shouldn’t worry about me. I’m doing awesome. I got emancipated in February, so I’ve been living on my own now. As for my family… well I doubt any thing happened to them.” Kat looked at me with a concerned look, and said.

 

“No wonder you gotten thinner. You are coming over for dinner from now on, and that’s final.” I knew she want to say more about it but didn’t. I was about to say something but the look on her face told me I would regret it if I even think about saying no.

 

“Why did you get emancipated?” It was Alex who asked.

 

“It’s a long story. I don’t feel like telling it, and I don’t know you two very well” It was obvious that the 4 of them were not satisfied with my answer, but did not say anything more on the subject. I decided to change the subject “So how do you guys know Kat and Tera?”

 

“We live next door.” Eric answered. “After we saw the moving trucks, we wanted to check out who bought the Thomas’ place.” His smile widened. He smiles a lot. It’s creeping me out. “When we found out that it was only the two of them, we offered to help.”

 

“And you two have been a tremendous help. Thank you.” Kat said.

 

It was obvious why he wanted to help. “So what about you two, what have you guys been up to?” I asked.

 

“We had been traveling around South America, Europe, and Africa. Tera managed to pick up a few languages” She said

 

I looked at Tera disbelievingly and said. “Maybe you can teach them me sometimes.”

 

She laughed. “You’re impossible to teach. Believe me I tried before.” I glared at her.

 

“Jerk” We both started to laugh.

 

“I know German, maybe I could teach you.” It was Alex who said it, but out of nowhere Eric broke out in laughter and then started to choke. Tera gave him a whack on the back. That dislodged what ever he was choking on. After he was able to recompose him self he started to laugh again. He abruptly stopped when he saw the threatening look on Alex’s face.

 

“So what are we going to do after we eat?” Eric asked, in attempt to change the subject.

 

“Seriously, what was so funny?” I asked.

 

“It’s a joke between Eric and me.” Alex replied. I didn’t really care enough to push it further.

 

“I think we should start unpacking the bedrooms. So we will have a bed to sleep on tonight.” Kat said.

 

“Why did you guys move back to Michigan? And why here?” I asked when I realized how odd it was for them to be back here in Michigan.

 

“My parents live near here.” Kat answered. “You might not have known them, but we are not on very good terms with them. I want to make peace with them before I can…” she paused for a moment and looked at Tera, “before we can move on.”

 

“So you guys are moving again?” I asked.

 

“That is a possibility.” She said. “But they are stubborn as hell. Who knows how long we’ll be here.” I know she was trying to lighten the mood but, I still couldn’t help feeling a little depressed about it. I couldn’t eat after hearing that.

 

 

We headed upstairs after every one else finished eating. Tera told Eric and Alex to go help her mom. I followed Tera down the hall to the last room on the right. She closed the door, looked at me and said.

 

“We’re through.” I knew what she meant.

 

“Yea, I figured as much.” I replied.

 

“I know. I just wanted to say that, and for you to hear it from me.” She walked to the pieces bed frame that was next to a pile of comforters and pillows, which I figured was a make shift bed. I figured she didn’t want to talk about it any more because she started to work on the bed frame. I went to her and started to help and tried to change the subject.

 

“It’s so obvious that those two wants you… And it’s understandable that you would want them back,” I said trying to sound childish as I could. “Considering that they’re twins, and both really good looking” She looked at me with the same look she has on when she was about to hit me.

 

“Jeez. How easy of a girl you think I am? I’ve only known them for like 3 days” she said, sounding insulted. I just laughed at her

 

“I don’t know. You dated me, remember?” She gasped and made an offended expression and threw a pillow at me.

 

“I only dated you as a favor. Ever since I’ve met you, I have never seen you with a girl. I mean it was pathetic. And I really doubt you dated any one since.” I just glared at her.

 

“Jerk…”I could have said more, but she had a large, metal object in her hand.

 

“And besides, I don’t think one of them likes me that way.”

 

“What are you talking about? How could anyone not like you?”

 

“Jeez, you are so dense…” She paused for a moment and reading my face. “Wow you really don’t know, do you. Well if you can’t figure it out. I’m not going to tell you.”

 

“Why? What are you talking about?”

 

“I think you should talk to him about that.” she replied dryly.

 

“Talk to who?” I forgot what we were talking about. But I didn’t get an answer because the door opened and Eric walked into the room.

 

“Hey guys. Kat said…”

 

“Hey… Eric?” Tera interrupted him. “Can you go get Alex for me?”

 

“Why?” he asked sound puzzled by the sudden request. “You didn’t say anything about him did you?”

 

“No, I haven’t said anything but I want him to tell him.”

 

“Tell me what?!?!” I am really starting to get pissed, being left out of what ever they are talking about.

 

“Just go.” She yelled.

 

He left the room without another word. “What is going on?” I asked.

 

“Look, I just have to do this. Ok? And I want to know.”

 

Eric came back into the room Alex, who looked really worried, scared if anything.

 

“Alex. Look, I haven’t known you long, but can you do this for me and just tell him what you told me yesterday. I need you to do this… for me.”

 

Alex and Tera stared at each other. They were having a silent conversation. I am so lost. I don’t even know what to say. Eric was the first to speak up after several minutes.

 

“He doesn’t have to do anything he’s don’t want to.” He sounded defensive, he even puffed up his chest to try and look intimidating. But the look in his face made me think other wise. He’s afraid and it’s obvious.

 

“No, it’s ok. I’ll tell him.” Alex said with a determined look on his face, he walked into the room and got close to me. I got up, because I felt really uncomfortable sitting next to him when he’s that tall.

 

That’s when he kissed me…

 

 

After I left my mind became flooded with memories. Memories before Tera moved, memories about my biological relatives, and memories about moving out on my own. I think Tera and Kat triggered the flood of memories.

 

The First thing that comes to mind about my parents is abuse. I didn’t want to leave Angel when I moved out of my parent’s house. They went to jail once for being abusive, but that didn’t last. The courts gave us back to them, us being my two brothers and two sisters. I don’t really like foster homes anyways. And I didn’t want to go to one again. So I got myself emancipated, and never regretted it. My parents are probably still being abusive to my brother and sisters. I can’t really help them even if I wanted to.

 

It has been 2 months since I moved out. I’m living across town from my parents, because I don’t really have the money to move far away. The only money I have was left to me by my grand parents. It was only three hundred thousand. But it was more than enough to buy a house, get it furnished, and a buy used black Suburban. I even have some left over and saved for college. I have a job, working for a friend’s dad, so I can pretty much pay the utility bills, gasoline, and feed my self. I still go to school. I decided a long time ago that I don’t want to use my short comings as an excuse to waste my future away.

 

School, job, and things around the house, have started to become boring routines, and I like it. I think that’s why I’m so angry. I’m mad at Tera.

 

And I blamed her.

 

By the time I drove up the drive way of two story house that is surrounded by woods I don’t know what I was fuming about. It hit me when I was at the door way and about to unlock the door.

 

“Fuck… I forgot Angel.” I really don’t want to go back. I don’t know why I’m having a difficult time handling this. I mean I know gay people. Just not any of them is like Alex. And none of them ever tried to kiss me like that. None of them even tried hitting on me. Let alone a kiss.

 

I stood there at the door step, thinking about what I should do. I decided to forget Angel. She isn’t going any where. And I want a bath. I opened the door and headed up stairs and to the bathroom. The bathroom is mostly a whitish marble. I like it. And the tub is huge and with jets, only bad thing about it is that it doesn’t have a shower. But I love this bathroom. And the tub was exactly where I want to spend the next few hours in. I started the water and then just sat on the toilet seat. No… I wasn’t doing that. I just sat there.

 

When the tub was almost filled I turned it off and just sat on the edge it felt weird to get naked now. I was probably sitting thinking for about half an hour when the doorbell rang. Great, just what I need. More stress.

 

I headed down stairs. I don’t think I told them where I lived. So I don’t think it was them. I hope it isn’t them. I almost didn’t want to answer the door when I heard who was on the other side. “Steve, Open the door!”

 

How the hell did she find me? “Go Away!” I don’t need this.

 

“No! Open this door.” I took a breath, and opened the door.

 

“What do you want?” I said dryly.

 

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” she said pretending to sound innocent.

 

“Why did you tell him to do that?” I asked

 

“I didn’t plan on kissing you like that” Alex said as he appeared from around the corner. “I meant to…”

 

I slammed the door shut. “Steve! What the fuck! Open the door! We have to talk about this!” She started to hammer on the door again.

 

I headed down starts to the basement, to drown her out, but it didn’t help much since she started to ring the door bell. It’s a good thing the basement has a door out the back. I head back up to the front of the house and saw that all three of them were at the front door. Tera is still hammer at the door. They didn’t see me. So I got into my Suburban and started to drive.

 

The looks on Tera face was priceless, as she realized I wasn’t in the house any more and saw that I was driving out of the drive way.

 

I drove to the sports equipment store that I worked at. I didn’t have to go to work for awhile two hours. But I figured I can burn some time till then.

 

 

By the time I got home from work, the three of them was long gone. And I took my bath. It was awesome.

  

I dreaded going to school the next day. I wanted to skip school. I don’t want to face her. I don’t even know if I am still angry with her or why. But what made me skip was seeing the three of them in front of the door to class and it was obvious that they were going to corner me. I decide that the first two hour of school can go screw themselves.

 

I drove to Tera’s house. Cause Tera isn’t there, and I needed to pick up Angel. What I didn’t count on was being cornered by Kat.

 

Kat answer the door when I ranged the doorbell. “Hi.”

 

“Follow me.” she ordered. It’s the first time she used that tone with me and it startled me. And I guess Tera had to get it from some where. Cause I obediently followed.

 

“Sit.” She said when we go into the kitchen. I want to say; I am not a dog. But I got scared. So I sat on a stool at the island. She also took a seat but at the dinner table. “I am serious about you having dinner with us.”

 

“I can’t. I have work.” I replied.

 

“Then Breakfast, before school.” she said.

 

“I don’t really want to.”

 

“…And why not? You and Tera didn’t get into a fight did you?”

 

“No, we didn’t.”

 

“Then did you get into a fight with one of the McDucken boys?”

 

“…McDucken? Who’s the McDuckens?” I started to laugh. That name is so funny to say.

 

“Eric and Alex… Their last name is McDucken.” I started to laugh even harder. Eric McDucken. Alex McDucken. I don’t know why but that last name is really funny to me. I stopped when I saw that Kat had a serious wasn’t laughing. She wasn’t even smiling. That scared me. She usually smiled.

 

“One of them was in tears when I went up after I heard the door slam.” Whoa, he cried. What a loser. “And don’t you dare slam the door like that again.” She’s scolding. Who doe’s she think she is. I got up and made a move to leave, but.

 

“Sit.” I sat. No matter how mad I get, she still scares me. I don’t even think my mother is this scary. “Now do you want to tell me what happened?”

 

“Not really.” I replied.

 

“That’s fine but you are not leaving till you promise to come here for breakfast.”

 

“What the fuck. You guys have been gone for two years. When I needed you guys most. You just disappeared on me. You can’t walk in my life like this after two fucking years, and tell me what to do. Why are you so hung up on me come to breakfast anyways” I think some where after, “what the fuck” I started to yell and I found myself standing. When did I stand up? I really don’t get why I am so mad. I want to leave. I would of too, if it wasn’t for her answer.

 

“I’m dying.”

 

“Oh…” Oh? What the fuck. Is that all I can say? I hate my mouth. “Oh” was all I can say before stopped cooperating with me. I don’t think my voice would have cooperated either, because I felt a lump in my throat.

 

“It’s a brain tumor. The doctors said they can't do much. There is surgery but t’s too deep in the brain for it to be safely removed, and it’s too big for Chemotherapy. They said I wouldn’t live past 40 if I didn’t get the surgery, and the surgery is as dangerous as the tumor it self. So I decided I there were things I wanted to do before I get the surgery in case something goes wrong. That’s we moved. I wanted to go see the places and do things. And I wanted Tera to go with me. But they were wrong. My fortieth birthday is in 2 months. And I don’t feel any pain or anything.”

 

I got up and left the house, and drove home. I forgot about Angel again. But right now I don’t really care. I don’t know what I am feeling but I don’t like it.

 

I got into my house and went down stairs to my basement, and to my room. I crawled into my bed. I felt numb, too many emotions. They started to meld together so I can’t really tell them apart. I just laid there. I think at some point I feel asleep.

 

I woke up when some one rang the door bell repeatedly. I am going to rip that thing out one day. I got out of my bed and headed upstairs. The cable box in the living room told me it was and hour after school ended. I hope it isn’t Tera.

 

I opened the door. It’s Josh. I work for his dad. Thank god it isn’t Tera. He looked infuriated though. “Steve, where were you today! We had to test the catapult with out you man. ” I stepped back and opened the door wider for him to come in.

 

“Hi.” Whoa. She appeared out of no where. For a second I thought it was Tera, because of the similar blond hair.

 

“Hi Shelly...” Shelly is Josh’s sister. When I first met them I didn’t think that they are related at all. Josh has black hair. And shelly is blond. They both have brown eyes though. After I met their mom it seemed more probable. I think Josh take after his mom, and Shelly takes after her dad.

 

Shelly is only a year younger than Josh, but she is a lot taller than he is. I’m not saying that Josh is short. Because his sister is taller than I am. And Josh is like half a foot taller than I am.

 

“Where are Tom and Shelia?” Tom and Sheila are the first friends I made moving here. And I guess we became close friends after I got over Tera.

 

“They are out on a date.” Josh answered. Oh… yea… I forgot about that. They’re dating.

 

“Are you two coming in or what?” They came in, and I went out to look around. I don’t know why I felt paranoid. I know they aren’t hiding in the bushes. But I felt like I had to make sure.

 

“What are you doing Steve?” Josh asked.

 

“I don’t know.” I went back in, and followed the two to the living room.

 

“So where were you?” Josh asked again as he flopped him self on the couch, and reaching for the remote on the coffee table. I sat down on the recliner in the corner of the room, and faced the TV that was placed next to the sliding glass door that led out to the side of the house. Shelly sat down on the couch with josh.

 

“I kinda felt sick today.” I answer his question.

 

“You know that’s every ones talking about you and that new girl right?” he said.

 

“Do you think I really care?” I said dryly.

 

“No not really, but I do. Why did she do it?”

 

“I don’t really want to talk about.”

 

“Aw; Why not? Did you get her pregnant and left her or something?” I glared at him.

 

“I said I don’t want to talk about it!”

 

“Hey Steve, are you up to go and see a movie or something?” Shelly asked. “Cause, I want to go see that movie that came out the other day. And if you aren’t felling too sick maybe we can go together.”

 

“Naw… You guys go ahead. I have to go to work in a bit.” I work for Josh and Shelly’s dad but that doesn’t mean they work for him.

 

“You can call in sick or I can talk to my dad in letting you have the day off for today.”

 

“It’s ok. I think working might take my mind off things for a while.”

 

“Where is Angel?” Josh asked. “Because she usually barks and tries to kill me every time I’m here.”

 

“Oh my god! I just realized that too.” shelly said, with a horrified look on her face. She started to look around too see if angel was just laying on the ground some where. “Is she ok?”

 

“She’s fine. I left her at a friend’s house.”

 

“Are you serious? This is like the first time I’ve seen you with out her. I mean I’m relieved that she’s not trying to bite some ones balls off and all but, are you alright?” he actually looked concerned. Shelly started to laugh.

 

“Aw. She’s a sweat heart. I think it’s only you that’s she don’t like.” Josh just glared at her. “Cause she never even barked at me. And I don’t remember her barking at any one else I’ve seen her with” She paused to think for a bit. “Yea, it’s only you.”

 

I started to laugh. “I think she likes you Josh.” He turned and glared at me.

 

“But Josh has a point. Are you alright?” shelly asked.

 

“Yea, I’ll be fine. I’ll see you guys at school tomorrow. And if you see Shelia and Tom before tomorrow, tell them I want to talk to them.”

 

“Will do.” Josh said.

 

“Come on josh. Let’s go. I think the movie starts in an hour.” She got up and grabbed one of Josh’s are, pulling him up. “We’ll see you later Steve.” I got up and followed them to the door. “Bye guys. See you tomorrow.” I closed it when they left.

 

I don’t feel like going to work. I made that sick call.

 

 

I don’t know why but I woke up the next day around 3:30 in the morning, in tears. I think I was just squeezing my feelings and shoving it away and not really dealing with it. And I think what ever held it back broke, because I couldn’t stop.

 

I stumbled out of bed and tried to get to a bathroom. It’s dark and the tears didn’t help my vision at all. I tripped after I left my room and fell to the ground. I just laid there in the hallway holding my sides in the fetal position and just crying. I didnt cry out loud. it was silent tears, but it was still incapacitating. I think I laid there for like 20 minutes when I finally calmed down enough to get to the bath room. I went to the tub and just sat in it. I didn’t bother turning on the water. I don’t know why I just felt like sitting in the tub in the dark. It was calming.

 

I sat there for probably an hour, when I heard the door bell. Who the hell would be here this early? I didn’t want to get up. Or answer it, but they kept ringing the door bell for the next 15 minutes.

 

“WHAT!!!” I yelled, when I finally snapped and answer the door. It was the twins. I tried to slam the door on them. But they stopped the door before it closed. “Go away!”

 

“Kat asked us to get you for breakfast, even if we have to force you.” I don’t know who said it and I don’t care. I just want them to go away. I pushed on the door harder, trying to get it to shut so I can lock it.

 

“I don’t want to go! Just go away and leave me alone!” I think it was only one of them that kept the door open, because the door suddenly got harder to even keep it where it was. When the door got wide enough one of them got through. I gave up on trying close the door. When the other one got in the house, I headed up the stairs.

 

“Look, I’m sorry about the kiss.” He said, following my up the stairs. I stopped at the second to last step up the stairs. “I really didn’t mean for…

 

“It isn’t about that anymore. Just go away and leave me alone.”

 

“Just listen to me for a minute… Please?” the way he asked that question was so pathetic. But I sat down on the stairs and let out the breath that I seem to have kept in since I started up the stairs.

 

“You’re not going to kiss me again, are you?”

 

“No… I don’t think so.” He seemed a bit unsure. But it didn’t matter because I have the higher ground. If he tried some thing I can kick him down the stairs. “Look I’m sorry about that. I… couldn’t help me self.” He looked down at the stairs and started to rub the base of his neck where it met his shoulders.

 

“What do you mean you couldn’t help yourself? Do you realize how stupid that sounds?” Eric moved up the stairs next to Alex. “Oh great, you want to kiss me now too?” it sounded sarcastic, but it’s like 5 in the morning. I don’t even wake up till 6 on any other day.

 

“For Fuck sakes. He’s in love with you alright." It was Eric who spoke.