Selfish - 1. Selfish

So wrapped up in their own wants, their own temporary problems that they become radical. And in rebelling, they cause problems for the people around them. They don't care if it hurts others, makes others hurt themselves out of emotional turmoil.

She didn’t come “home” for three weeks. She even missed her youngest sisters birthday out of her own selfishness. Of course the adults only said “there are some issues going on.” No explanation or warning.

More days past before she returned home, but only on a set agreement that her stepfather and I move out. I hadn’t been told anything of why, just that I was supposed to start packing my things. I was given a meal from Subway, as if that would ease it over. Except they can’t train the dog properly, and I lashed out at him for stealing some of my food, breaking down into tears. I ended up staying with my mother for a few days.

Only the adults knew why she didn’t like my father or I being there. Never being told, left me wondering what is was. Had I done something wrong? Was it territorial of her that I was in her old bedroom?

Moving out, I was told that it was just temporary. Told that it would get figured out soon, or that when she moved out for college we could move back in. She would be an adult soon, and then could make her own decisions and suffer her own consequences. She’d have to leave the house eventually and get a life of her own.

Except she didn’t. She moved back in, took back over her old room. She went to college for a while, but dropped out and stayed at her home.

The divorce is final now, and have just renewed a lease on our apartment.

Was I never important enough to tell what was going on, even though it affected me more than those who didn’t have to move out over a weekend? All the “you’re already sixteen,” talk, telling me to get a job now that I was old enough. Did they think I was not old enough to understand what was going on?

No, there was no growth in this, aside from the growing resentment I hold towards everything.