East of Midnight - 1. Story

East of Midnight

By Stargazer

Warm breath tickling his ear woke Chase up from a sound sleep. He opened his eyes to find himself tangled around a warm body with his head resting on a hard chest and his arm flung across a muscular stomach. He could hear the steady heartbeat in his ear and he breathed in the comforting scent of the skin he knew all too well. Just like any other time that he wanted to just lie there and enjoy the solace and quiet of being held this way, and even while the effects of the drinks he had hours before were still making his mind a little foggy, the guilt managed to force its way in as usual and ruin any attempt at real relaxation.

The young man despised that feeling of remorse. Why couldn’t he just embrace the events that occurred between him and Xander and let that be it? Why did he have to analyze every damn thing? Because you’re only a slut for Xander, the little voice inside his head taunted. A little twink whore for an older man who only wants you for one thing.

Chase sighed as he opened his sleepy blue eyes and tilted his head up to gaze at Xander’s sleeping features as the early afternoon sunlight pierced through the blinds. The man looked younger and gentle when he was asleep. He was handsome really, with his smooth white skin and his square jaw with day old, blond stubble on it. His full lips were parted slightly and his long, blond hair was splayed across the pillow as his head tilted to the side. Chase was so conflicted about this situation he’d gotten himself into and wondered why the hell he allowed himself to be used this way … why he wanted Xander to use him like this.

After spending his teen years trying to figure out who he was by experimenting with guys his own age and realizing he really was attracted to his own sex, Chase couldn’t figure out why someone of Xander’s age and station in life would want to be with someone like him. He could have anyone he wanted. He could have men who could get into the places he went and who were more his equal than some half assed nineteen-year-old street urchin that worked for him. Why’d he pick Chase?

It shouldn’t matter how handsome he was or how talented his hands and tongue and body were. Chase felt like he shouldn’t want this. He felt like he shouldn’t feel the feelings Xander brought to the surface in him. Chase was good for sex and he understood that was one of the only things he was good for … dealing drugs and a being a bed warmer to whomever would have him. He learned the bed warming part at an early age. Someone like Xander couldn’t possibly want more to do with him ... could he?

The biggest problem and the thing that brought out the most guilt was that Chase liked lying naked across Xander’s warm, luxurious bed with its soft sheets and fluffy pillows. He enjoyed feeling like royalty in exile while watching the man undress and seeing the hunger in his dark eyes as he approached. He relished the anticipation of what was to come when he felt the bed dip and Xander would lean over to kiss him and he would taste the fine scotch on his lips. He basked in the feel of Xander’s mouth on his and his strong arms enveloping him as they began their play. His senses ignited the way the man made his entire body come to life with passionate fire.

Chase didn’t really understand why he even bothered to drink before he met Xander on nights like that. It wasn’t like he needed to be plied with distilled courage to make him easy for the man. He liked the feel of it and the way it made him forget about everything in his life except what was happening in the moment, but he didn’t need it. He would still go up to Xander’s room with him and be his plaything without any more prodding than that seductive, questioning look in the man’s green eyes. The older teen could become aroused just thinking of that look.

Maybe that’s it. I’m just fucking horny and he’s an excellent lover, he thought as Xander rolled onto his side to face him and slid his hand around Chase’s side and up his back to hold his this form closer to him. His heart fluttered at the gentle touch and his skin bumped up as a chill ran through him. He could lie to himself all he wanted to but he knew that Xander’s lovemaking skills didn’t have as much to do with him being here as did the warmth of his body near him like this when he woke up. He loved being here and it wasn’t just the luxury, either. It was an escape.

Xander could be evil, cunning, mean and hurtful. That was the reputation he had to uphold to be respected in his line of work. He could also be charming and sensual and accommodating and he was that way with Chase. Chase felt wanted in Xander’s bed, especially in their easy mornings together. He felt shelter here like he didn’t anywhere else in his life. Xander never once rushed him out the door or made him feel unwelcome. For all the bad things the man was, when it came to Chase, the younger man felt like Xander was redeeming himself of his sins by taking him in and being his lover.

“You’re thinking again,” Xander said in his gruff, sleepy voice and ran his hand up and down Chase’s back lightly. “The grinding of the gears woke me.”

“I’m always thinking,” Chase replied and nuzzled his head up under Xander’s chin and pressed his ear to his chest to hear his heartbeat again. He could feel the man’s body shake slightly with silent laughter.

He didn’t want Xander to pull away or even move. He wanted to lie just a little bit longer in this glorious bed with his still half-asleep lover and bask in the luxury of Xander’s arms but he wasn’t about to get his wish. The man rolled Chase over onto his back, brushed his brown hair off his forehead and kissed him softly on the lips before pushing the down comforter off himself and sitting up to let his legs hang from the edge of the bed. He stretched his arms up over his head and the strong muscles of his back moved silkily under his smooth, creamy skin. It was all Chase could do to not reach out for him and pull him back down for another round of passion but Xander was up out of bed and padding his way into the bathroom before the boy could even lift his arm.

“What’s always turning in that pretty head of yours, baby boy?” Xander said while the young man watched him turn the faucet on in the sink and wet his toothbrush. “You always have that look like you’re far away on another planet or something when you’re thinking so hard. Even when I can’t see your face, I can feel it in your body when you’re lost in thought.”

Chase’s eyes travelled from Xander’s mussed up hair, down his torso, and lingered longingly at his morning erection before he forced his eyes down the man’s muscular legs. At twenty-nine-years-old, Xander was a man; a wicked, successful, gorgeous man that Chase could never imagine himself uttering all the thoughts that plagued his mind to.

“Nothing in particular,” he spoke up finally, his gaze moving back up to the forest green eyes watching him as he brushed his teeth. “Just making a mental list of what I gotta do today, that’s all.”

Is it even possible to be in love with him? Chase wondered and he shoved that question from his mind before the idea could fully form. There was no way. He just liked the vacation from his real life that Xander afforded him when he kept him for the night and that was all it was. Nothing more could ever come from this. It was like a deal they had or something, just another aspect of the dealing Chase did for him with his business. It was these sheets and this comforter and the pillows and the scent of sandalwood that permeated the fabric … so masculine with his scent all over it.

Being with Xander was an escape from his shitty life a few nights a week and nothing more. Besides, Xander could have anyone he wanted in his bed and most likely did on the nights he wasn’t settling for Chase’s skinny, young body. He shook his long bangs out of his eyes and allowed his own negative thinking to flood his mind because it was easier than believing for one minute that what he did with this man meant anything more than a casual romp.

Xander rinsed his mouth out and wiped his face on the hand towel hanging from the brushed nickel towel bar next to the sink. He slid the glass shower door open and stuck his hand inside the tile enclosure to turn the water on and laughed at Chase when the boy pulled the comforter tighter around him as he nestled down into the bed. “You make a lot of lists, baby,” he said amusedly and motioned for the him. “Wanna get wet with me? That could be number one on today’s list if you want to check it off.”

Chase bit his lip and pushed the comforter off himself slowly, not wanting to appear too overly excited about the prospect, though every fiber of his being was delighted at being invited to shower with the man. His erection was now at full mast as he slid off the bed and walked naked to the bathroom. He noticed the satisfied, lustful expression on Xander’s face as his eyes travelled his body and settled there and he couldn’t help but feel as desirable as he had last night when Xander brought him upstairs.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Xander whispered huskily into Chase’s ear as he rested a hand on his lower back and guided him into the tile and glass enclosure, sliding the door closed behind them. “And you’re all mine.”

All negative thinking left Chase’s head when Xander grabbed him by the waist and pressed his back to the dark tiles to devour his mouth in a deep kiss. His hands grabbed the man’s muscular shoulders and pulled him as close as he could against him as the water showered over and between their bodies. Xander’s hands were roaming over his wet skin and touching him in his most private places as he willingly gave himself over to the man once again.

Those talented lips left Chase’s and began trailing down his neck and he felt like a whore in heat when Xander got to his knees and kissed his stomach, teasing his navel with his tongue, sliding it over to a hip bone and sucking the skin roughly. He didn’t think he’d even need more than that since he already felt on the verge just with the way Xander was teasing his smooth body but he wasn’t about to stop him.

“Fuuuuck,” Chase whimpered while he held onto Xander’s shoulders for support. He couldn’t help but vocalize the ultimate experience in pleasure he was feeling with the magical ways in which the man was ravishing him. “Xander!”

Chase’s moans echoed against the tiled walls and he looked down to find Xander’s gorgeous eyes gazing up at him with pure desire in them.

“I need you inside me … please …”

He didn’t do it on purpose but he knew the man was a sucker for begging and in a heartbeat, Xander was back on his feet and turning Chase to face the wall to give him just what he was asking for. Chase lost himself in the erotic way the blond man made love to him and gave into the feeling of each thrust and kiss and sound they both made. The water rushing down their bodies cleansing the younger man of all his worries and doubts.

“You’re so perfect, baby,” Xander breathed when it was over and they both were satisfied and he turned the younger man around to face him again. Their lips met in a sweet kiss and Xander pushed the boy’s dark, damp hair back from his forehead before kissing it. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Chase shook his head and wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders, melting into him when his arms came around his waist and he swayed back and forth with him in the hot shower. The scent of their lovemaking floated on the steam and Chase bit his tongue to keep from blurting something he was sure he’d later regret. Instead, he danced there with Xander and enjoyed the moment while it lasted for once without guilt.

He was sure now as he held the bloody, lifeless form in his arms and rocked it back and forth while the echo of gunshots still rang in his ears. It was all clear to him as he ran his shaking hand through the red stained blond hair of the man and begged any higher being he could think of for this part to be the dream. He understood it all now and was sure of what he had felt all this time. He hated himself for never telling Xander the truth while he was alive and now it was too late for words. I loved him …

© 2010 Stargazer

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