Ruckus

I'm sensing the introduction of some new characters imminent.

I'm betting this has something to do with the professor, the Louvre-digger, Jerome whatshisname, jilted from having lost Brad, and then losing Marcel. He's also the only character in this story with possible political pull. And, he'd been described as selfish enough and narcissistic enough to do something like this. He may have been the one who even brought Neil to France, if he's that well connected. In fact, I'm still speculating of how Neil could have found Robbie, halfway across the world. It wouldn't be possible without the assistance of someone well connected. Of course, I'll feel like a right idiot if all this turned out to be wrong.

Mark, just read chapter 8, and I think you've outdone yourself, again. I'm not much for kink, but having suspected that fisting was, indeed, the most likely kink you were exploring, I was prepared, so to speak. Suspecting and reading reading -- and therefore imagining it mentally -- are two different things, though. I did cringe as I read your rather graphic description of it, but the ending of the act itself, and its aftermath, was very sweet and romantic. So, I figure, anything that could make me cringe and yet aroused at the same time, and then make me go 'aww,' afterwards, has to be worth complimenting, at least. Hence, kudos. The ending of this chapter is certainly one of the most satisfying you've ever written, and I'm very curious as to what you would throw into the story, next. In MotM, you've given us one of the most satisfying, heartbreaking and also uplifting tale of 'coming of age,' and learning of oneself, which is very new with your stories. Your prior characters (JP and Stefan) went through events and 'stuff' through their lives, and your wrote them well, but they were already fully formed persons, by the time the stories begun, and they were mostly about characters handling what life throws at them. With Brad and Robbie in MotM, you've crafted a masterpiece tale about growing up and understanding oneself, and each other. If I were allowed to opine, you've found yourself a great niche, in this, an area that I think is very difficult to write. Hopefully, when this story is over, you'll consider writing another coming-of-age tale. And so, it seems, Dom Luka isn't the only master of writing coming-of-age tales on GA. Bows and gratitude to you, both. Can't wait to read more.

The funny thing is, it took me twenty-eight chapters to finally figure out the fact that the 'changing of lanes' is about Eric, and therefore, this isn't really a direct sequel to LtMP, as much as a different story featuring characters from LtMP. I remembered reading CJ's comment, some while ago, that this story received less feedback than LtMP. I can't speak for everyone, but when I started reading this story, the thing that crossed my mind was, 'okay, it's about those guys, again, great, the Scar's alive, yada, yada, yada, who cares.' My interest level wasn't all that high, and I read it simply because it was there, and I had nothing better to read. But in fact, this story is much better (both in the plots and in the style) than LtMP. The action is a lot tighter, and not too burdened with minutiae about the Scar setting up his secret labs, and the machinations required, before we know what the hell he was doing. In CL, the prelude to the action is actual action, not just descriptive details of how one might build a bomb. CJ, if you're still receiving too few feedback notes, I suggest changing the descriptors of the story, and tell people that it's not really about Brandon and Chase, but rather about Eric. This might pull in more readers, though at chapter 28, I think just about everyone will already know about this new story of yours. In the romance area, the 'is-he-is-he-not going to' of Eric is actually very exciting, and the little hit-and-miss mating dance he does with Jansen is actually very sweet, and more interesting to read. It certainly breaks away from your usual 'boy meets boy and falls deeply committed to each other, instantly.' While on the romance front, this story is more engaging than LtMP, on the action front, CL is *far* superior to LtMP. I went from being mildly interested to not being able to wait until the next chapter is released. Kudos on this story. What a fantastic follow-up to LtMP. In my humble opinion, you're growing in leaps and bounds as a writer, and I feel privileged to have watched it happen, from FtL, to LtMP, and finally CL. Once again, thank you for having written, and for sharing it with us in cyberspace. Keep it up, please. I can't wait to read more!

I just read the final chapter of this story, and have to say that it was a beautiful ending, indeed. It was appropriately sweet and probably as satisfying a conclusion could be to this tale. Overall, I had to say that the battle scenes are a bit hurried, since you only provide highlights and outlines of said battles, instead of a full-on accounting. But I do understand that providing a full account of any warfare might read too much like a military manual. In the end, you've cut to the chase, and skim the excesses out. Surprisingly, because of this, I think it makes the time-lapses and gaps of time less awkward, and actually works for the flow of the story. I had some concerns if these would end up a gaggle of stories that are kept open perpetually, meandering all over the place but never finding any endings, but you've put those worries to an end, and done so spectacularly. Thanks for the Paladin, David, and for the others, and I look forward to the conclusions of the other stories, as well. May they be good as this one.

This is a brilliant re-write. I remember reading the original story, and didn't much feel for it, and not because I'm squeamish about the gore, either. The original felt more like the story was written to accommodate gore and guts. In this re-write, the gore seems to be used to create the dark mood, instead, and actually feel more *necessary,* though there's less of it. The rewrite, is a true dkstories masterpiece, all over again. The more relaxed pace of the new story, and the sparing -- and therefore even more effective -- use of gore and guts gives us (at least me) more investment in the characters. Even only four chapters in, this is the story, as I believe it should have been. Dan's brilliant with sci-fi/fantasy and plotlines, but at the core, his stories have made us connect with the characters, and this time around, I find myself connecting with Jarred, even though he's technically a 'bad guy.' Dan, thanks for rewriting this one. Really. While I think 'The Beard,' for me, is shaping out to be my favourite dkstories work, aside from the Do Over series, Jarred is definitely a joy to read, and is up there with the other great work, gory as it might be at times. Just one thing: if you ever write the VJ-2 sequel, please resist all temptation to go round-robin this time around. Good as the other authors might be you involve, your voice is better when it's singular and unadulterated. Whew! That's a long rant, wasn't it? 'Kay. I'll stop here. Just want to say thanks, again, Dan, for giving us these wonderful stories, and to Emoe for the (credited) editing. I can't wait to read more.

Well, if we're lucky, perhaps Mark will grace us with a little 'side story' about Brad (and maybe even of Robbie) in college, perhaps unrelated to the whole saga's continuity. When he has time, that is, and with plenty of encouragement of others, I imagine.

I don't know how you would top Be-Rad, since it's probably the best out of all your GA posted stories (in my opinion), but MiM is starting out great. You put the conflict early, and the AIDS scare/ condom use is putting a new spin in the story that was never present, before. And you seem to be using the device very effectively. Thank you for posting this one so soon after Be-Rad ended, and also for writing and sticking it out to the conclusions. I don't know where this story would end, yet, but from the many hints you've left in the first chapter, you seem to have prepared a lot of events and conflicts in this story, already. Can't wait to read the rest!

Mark, I wouldn't worry much about proper villains. There was enough conflict and emotional roller-coasters in Be-Rad to make it a great story. In fact, IMHO, this is perhaps the best story you've written out of these characters. The ending, though sad, is one of the best endings to a story I've ever read in a long time, and the uncertainity towards the future is always a good closer, at least for me. Thanks very much for writing it, for posting it in such a rapidfire fashion, and for the promise of another one, which hopefully will be equally rapidfire (wink, wink).

This is my first time posting on the forum, and I must say I'm very much looking forward to this new 'Rich Boy' story. I remembered Dan's forum and blog postings, when he released 'The Bully,' in which he mostly sounded uncertain and apprehensive about writing something outside of the sci-fi genre. In my opinion, however, the Bully is one of the best stories I've ever read, in any medium, be it paper, online or otherwise. I'm not much of a sci-fi reader myself, until I discovered gayauthors.com, a while ago, and got hooked on the 'Do Over' series. For me, Dan's stories were actually my first entry into sci-fi, which I now quite enjoy. So, Dan, if you're reading this, you should know that my own reason for enjoying your stories isn't as much the twists and turns of the fantastical plots, but rather in how you develop your characters, and got me to feel involved with their lives. This is the true strength of your writing, I think. I don't think I'd enjoy the 'Do Over' series as much if I didn't feel for the Davey and Brian character as much as I did. Again, just an opinion, but writing in a contemporary 'real world' setting, instead of a sci-fi setting (as good as they are), and you get to explore more of these characters and their emotional development, unencumbered by the massive scope of cosmic goings-on about them. So thanks very, very much, Dan, for writing these non sci-fi stories, too! In the mean time, though, if you ever come up with anything more on the Shapers Chronicle, please feel free to explore those ideas, too (*grin*). BTW, does anyone actually know when was the approximate time (season of year) that Dan wrote the first 'Do Over' story? The site only showed date the story was last updated, but no reference as to when it was originally written. Just a bit of trivia I'd like to know, if anyone can help. Thanks, R!