Get It - 1. The Unrequited Shit Stings

The Unrequited Shit Stings

“You have the best taste.” Ben—Benny to those he liked—ripped open his Twix and took a bite. He chewed and swallowed in a rush. Uh—slow down, heartburn.

James shuffled higher up the bed. “No. I don’t know much about music at all. Just that you like these guys. So I thought, why not?”

“Well it’s the best birthday gift ever.” He couldn’t believe he was twenty-five already. Blinking away a shudder, Benny held half a chocolate stick to James’s mouth. “Eat up. But not too fast—acid reflux is a bitch.” He emphasized it with a small burp. “Ugh.”

“Thanks,” James said with a grin before sucking it out of his hand. He sissored two fingers around the middle, flicking it like a cigarette. “But really, it’s a lame gift. As soon as I finish college and have a kick-arse, high-paying job, I’ll really splurge. Spoil you rotten, my friend.”

Ah, James you do that already. He scooted up to his side, so they both sat resting their backs against the wall, knees bent, staring into space as if the music could be seen there. James started tapping the beat on his knees, reminding Benny of the first night they met at the gay bar on Left street. Dumbest street name in the world. At James’s insistent lap-tapping, a burly guy with too many vodkas to his breath sat on him. Benny had realized in a jiffy this guy was new to the scene, and, judging by the sweat rolling down his temples, not entirely at ease. So Benny had saved James’s arse. Quite literately. They’d been friends ever since.

Somewhere in the last three years that’d been upgraded to best friends.

“You going to eat the other one?” James eyed up the second Twix stick rapidly warming in his grip.

He handed the chocolate over, not letting go as James gripped on to it. “You can have this on one condition.”

“What?”

“And I’ll also cook for us for a week.”

James let go of the Twix looking hesitant. “What do you want, Reece?”

“Ouch, last name. It’s not that bad. Just need you to be my wingman tonight.”

A loud groan came as the response, followed by, “Again?” James narrowed his eyes, snatched the Twix and used it to point at him. “I’ll do it—just because it’s your birthday. But if I get hit and have to walk around explaining a black eye, I swear I’m going to kick your arse.”

Oh, yeah, sorry about that. He smirked. “Won’t happen, promise.”

* * *

“Okay, so which one is this Heath?” James asked, plunking himself onto the chair next to Benny and handing over a hotdog.

“Extra mustard?”

“Just the way you like it. Now, show me who I’m wasting my Saturday night for.”

Benny scanned the players on the field. What position did he play? What were the positions even called in soccer? Ah, that’s him, in the goal. He reached over and pinched James’s coke. “Goalie—blue team. Not like you had other plans, though, is it?”

“I so did have plans.”

“Oh, yeah, what then?”

A smile quirked his lip. “Was gonna hang with you.”

“What’s the difference?” Benny nudged him in the ribs. “You’re right by my side.”

“The difference,” he said, stuffing a fry into his mouth, “Is I would have been center of attention.”

“Attention hog—you need a boyfriend.”

“Well maybe after I’ve finished winging for you, you’ll scratch my back?”

“Got anyone in mind?” Benny raised a brow.

James looked away and onto the field. “Maybe. But, whatever, tell me about this Heath guy. Description first—I want to be able to picture him.”

Benny waggled his brows. “Well, he’s super hot. With blonde”—He yanked on a strand of James’s hair— “dirty ash colored hair too. And his eyes are this steel blue, not quite as light as yours, but just as beautiful.”

James blinked and looked away from him. “What else?”

“He’s in my political science class. Very smart—but doesn’t flaunt it. We started chatting a few months ago—and now we also share a coffee or something together after class.”

“A few months ago?”

“Yep. To top this all off, he’s bisexual, and I’m pretty certain he’s flirted with me. At least, I think so. I’m not sure when I started looking out for that.” Perhaps he’d been projecting?

James expression hardened. “So you’ve been crushing on him a while.”

Benny nodded, frowning when James turned his attention to the players and dropped the conversation.

When the game finally came to an end, he and James were two of the last left on the main stands. Just want to see him once more. He spotted Heath ducking out of the changing rooms. A small wave had Benny’s pulse thumping. Just wave casually back. Turn to James.

“Laugh like you find me interesting,” he said.

James gave the barest of smiles. “I do find you interesting.”

“Show it in your laugh, then. Quick.”

James roared out in loud bouts, punching Benny lightly in the arm. Thanks, man. Great laugh, by the way.

Heath bounded up the stairs, grinning something wicked. Certainly it did wicked things to his insides. “Hey.”

“Benny. So glad you came. Uh, did you”—he glanced at James—“you guys want to come over to Dundas Street? There's a small party happening there.”

“Sure. We’ll be there.”

“Seventeen Dundas Street. Bring your own beer.” With that, Heath took off down the steps.

Benny let slip a dreamy sigh but couldn’t shake off the feeling he’d done something to wind James up the wrong way.

As they headed back to James’s car, he asked, “What’s up? You seem annoyed or something.”

“Nah, I’m fine.”

“Fine, huh?” He scuffed his heel on the ground. They both walked on in silence.

Benny slammed the door shut.

James paused with the key in the ignition and leaned back, looking at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“About Heath?” Of course about Heath. At least don’t play dumb now. “I don’t know.” He’d wanted to though.

“I don’t believe you.” The car rumbled to life, and James drove him home so he could change.

Benny opened the front door, stepped inside, and stopped. “I really like this guy. I didn’t want to mention him until I was sure just how much. It’s different this time. I don’t”—He ground the heels of his palms into his eyes—“Ahh. I don’t want quick flings anymore. I—I want something real. Meaningful.”

“And Heath’s the guy?”

“Well, I don’t know for sure how he feels about me yet. But I like him. A lot.”

* * *

Benny tugged up his well worn jeans, and shucked on a shirt. James lay on his bed, arms hooked under his head. He shuffled into his view. “Do I look alright?”

James didn’t even budge his head. “Sure. Hot. He’ll charge right over in the hopes of tapping some.”

Benny grabbed a pillow and whacked it over his friend’s head. “Look at me when you say that—otherwise I can’t be sure it’s true.”

“Does it even matter what I think?”

Benny dropped next to him. “Are you still mad?” Please don’t be.

James sat up, shaking his head. “Sorry. Actually, I—I think it’s cool that you want a relationship.”

Benny sighed. “Yeah. I used to hate what you and Dave had—guess I was envious.”

“Only lasted six months. And he left me, remember?”

Yeah, he did. Throughout the time they were together, James had insisted that one night a week he and Benny could hang out. Dave didn’t like—no, didn’t trust Benny around his boyfriend, and had been stalking them both every Friday evening for ages. When James discovered him peeking over a magazine at them in the mall, he’d taken the guy aside and talked. Well, when he’d returned to the shake they’d been sharing, the ice had melted and James was single again. With the concise explanation: apparently sharing a shake was a step away from cheating. Whatever. James would never cheat on anyone.

Benny gave his friend a quick grin. “Six months is five more than I’ve managed.”

“True. Right. So what’s the game plan? Shall I tag along and bolt as soon as you give me the sign?”

“Something like that. Let’s see how it goes.”

* * *

A short ride later, they arrived at seventeen Dundas Street. Lights flickered red and orange out the front window, music pulsed through the walls. Inside people lined the hall with plastic cups or beer bottles and in the lounge a group undulated and swayed to the beat.

James gave him a look and Benny gave an apologetic shoulder shrug.

“You so owe me for this, Reece.”

“Quit with the name. I said I’d make dinner for a week. I’ll add in two nights of dessert too. Now smile, and let’s find the hottie-Heath.”

His short hair and chiseled face came into view as Benny rounded the corner into the kitchen. He was just about to say hello, when Heath leaned into a petite woman. The sort of leaning which implied lust and a bit. Dammit. That was so not the plan. He bit down on his tongue as if it would stop the rising disappointment. James tugged his arm, pulling him out of their sight to the edge of the dance crowd.

What! — “But I sorta thought…”

“Okay, so maybe he’s not the guy, Benny.”

“Well, she’s not his girlfriend. He said he didn’t have one—that he preferred guys. But I guess if he’s drunk. . . . Maybe I need to make myself clear. I should just tell him I’m interested.” James pulled hard on his shirt. “What?”

“Stop. He’s drunk. Now’s not the time to be opening up like that.”

Heath walked into the room with the girl at his side. Five feet from them, they started to dance. When Heath caught Benny’s gaze, he was sure he saw a flicker of something in them. But what?

Benny grabbed James and pulled him close. “Play along.”

“What are you trying to do now?”

“Checking if this makes him jealous.” He pushed tighter against James so their lengths were flush. James locked firm arms around him and moved. Over his shoulder Benny watched Heath’s hands trail down the girl’s body. For a moment their eyes met again and Heath winked. Winked!

He gave James an excited grin. “You’re doing a great job.” Really. He was such a smooth dance partner, too. “Yeah, really well. Just the perfect height for me.” Benny relaxed in James’s arms and let him lead them around some more. For a moment, he rested his head on James’s shoulder. Benny stared at the strong chords of muscle up his neck. “Thank you,” he breathed the words onto his neck, and chuckled as James squirmed. Hehehe.

“You did that on purpose.”

How could he not? “You’re ticklish. It’s”—Benny leaned into James’s neck again—“fun.”

That earned him a slap on the back of the head. He laughed. “Totally worth it.”

Benny looked across the room again and paused. Heath had gone. “Dammit. When did he leave?”

“Like a song ago. If you can even call these songs.”

He pulled out of James’s hold and stalked into the adjoining room, scouting for Heath. Maybe if he could distract him? Slide into a conversation? Something to bore the lady off and at the same time secure Heath’s interest. Politics. Yeah, he’d ask him about last week’s reading.

Strong fingers locked around his wrist. He glanced across at James, who he could tell was trying to get him to leave it be. But damn it, if the idea of Heath and that—nah-uh. Surely there’s something he could do. If the guy was looking for a quick release, Benny could help out. Mmm, that would be good.

“Benny, man,” James said, coming closer to be heard over the loud crowd. “Give up. Talk to him over coffee after one of your classes. You want this to be something, right? So, just come on.”

“No.” He didn’t want to. More than that, he hated being told to. James, damn him, he was always right. He had it all together. Mr. Perfect. Well this time he was wrong.

Benny snatched his wrist from James. “Do you want to help me, or not?”

“Of course I want to help you. I am helping.”

“Then let’s find Heath.”

“Dammit, Ben. Trust me; you don’t want to do it this way.”

He did trust James. Trusted him with his life—and James had been there for him; he’d taken him to hospital on a handful of occasions, and was the only one of his friends to know about his heart problems.

Benny gritted his teeth, was about to give in, when Heath and company walked into the room. Maybe he could get something out of this yet? A short conversation. Edge around flirting. Drop him a hint, a sign. Then he could make up his own mind about what he did tonight. . . .

“Heath,” he called out over a swarm of heads.

As Heath followed the sound of his name and honed in on him, Benny thought he heard James sigh. He turned to give him a sorry man look, but James had gone. What the . . .? Did he just ditch him? The arse. Fine, that’s only one dessert he’d make for him.

“Saw you before,” Heath said with a grin, “with that guy.”

“James, yeah, he’s a friend. So, uh,” Words. Where were they? Think subtle, “nice party.”

Benny didn't catch the first part of Heath's response as a loud cheer erupted in the back corner of the room. ". . . and Rory organized it. Honestly, it’s not quite my thing.” Heath looked over his shoulder at where he’d left his woman friend. Grrr. “But it’s not all bad, I suppose. Might have had a bit much to drink though. The keg was a bad idea.”

Benny used the excuse of people passing them to step closer to Heath. Close enough to smell the aftershave he used. Spicy.

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He could ignore it, but—“Just a sec, Heath.” He fished it out. James, flashed on the screen. A message. He opened it. U pocketed the keys. I’m walking. Don’t drive. Get home safe.

Walking? That was like an hour and a half trek to his place. “Ah, Heath,” damn, “I’d love to chat more. But I got to go. Um, did you want to catch a movie or something tomorrow?” Did he just ask him on a date? How did that happen? Cool. Shoot, what would he say? Benny watched Heath nervously.

“Well, that’d be great. Maybe I could bring Lucy along?” Oh. Oh, okay. “She seems nice and well . . . ”

“Sure. Yeah, sure. Whatever.” He faked a smile, and choked out the next words, “Three o’clock outside the Rialto?”

“We’ll be there.”

* * *

Benny caught up with James on the main drag. “James. Wait up.” He slapped an arm around his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I was such an arse back there. I just got so worked up. Damn, I’ve never felt like this before. It’s not all pleasant.” Benny focused on the gutter. “Actually, it’s really not pleasant. I just asked him out. He either didn’t get it, or, and what is more likely, he shot me down.”

James sighed. Then stopped walking and crushed him to his chest. “Welcome to my world.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing. Just, well, you hardly ever, in fact I’ve never seen anyone say no to you. People say no to me all the time. Now you know how I feel sometimes. It’s quite the bitch, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” They continued down half the street. The wrong direction to the car. Still, he liked just walking with James. “Does that really happen to you? You’ve never said anything before. Say, how do you cope with it? Because right now I feel ugly and sort of small.”

“You’re not ugly.” James chuckled as if it were a joke or something. “Anyway, do you want to share a strawberry cone?”

“My favorite. But you hate ice-cream.”

“Hence the sharing. You eat the top and I’ll have the wafer.”

I took my arm from his shoulders and slipped them around his waist to make walking more comfortable. “You’re the best, you know that?”

“Yup, I know.”

* * *

“Thanks for coming, James. I couldn’t have handled an entire movie being the third wheel. That’s just plain weird.”

They entered the Rialto and Benny immediately spotted Heath, who was dressed in dark jeans and a t-shirt that just hinted at the flat board underneath. Drool. Hottness. Benny swung the bag he carried to his front. James chuckled at his side, and Benny groaned. “I think after this, I’m going to need a whole liter of ice cream.”

James shook his head. “It’s a good thing this doesn’t happen to you often, or I wouldn’t want to see that ‘after’ shot.”

He shoved him in the side with his elbow. “You saying you wouldn’t love me if I gained a few? You’re cold hearted, James Stewart.” Benny laughed, but it quickly died as they finally approached Heath and Lucy.

They bought a couple buckets of popcorn (sugared) and Benny decided against the coke. He hated a full bladder in the middle of a movie. Besides, he’d have some of James’s if he was thirsty.

Lucky, or not so lucky, Benny ended up between his friend and Heath. It went without saying that he couldn’t concentrate a spot on the movie. To distract himself, he dug into the popcorn between him and James, slapping his friend’s hand away on multiple occasions to get there first. After the third time, James gripped Benny’s hand full of popcorn and ate every last corn out of it before letting him go again. He scowled at James, but waited patiently to grab some more.

Halfway through the movie, Benny rested his arm against the arm rest. It was free and had been the entire movie so far. Not more than a minute later, Heath rested his own. Benny’s heart rate picked up. Not to a dangerous erratic level—though he always carried his tablets on him in case. He swallowed over an excited lump in his throat when the back of Heath’s hand grazed his own.

With his other hand, he pretended to grab some popcorn, and pinched James’s thigh instead. He jumped, and, as subtly as Benny could, directed him with his eyes to look at his other hand. James quickly schooled an expression that he thought must have been disbelief. Yeah, this is so weird. What does this mean? Accident or no? What was he doing with Lucy?

When he could, he glanced over. His previous excitement curdled something sour. Kissing. Okay, nothing was going to happen here. Admit it. Move on. But what if this is for show? Maybe that brush was trying to tell him something. Like he was deeply closeted or something? Though, if that were the case, he wouldn’t have so easily come out and said he was bisexual.

Benny removed his arm and placed it on his lap. This was the longest movie ever. It would have been smart to check the running times before agreeing to this.

Finally, it ended and the four piled out of the theatre. James glanced down at his watch.

“Wow. That was a good movie,” Lucy said.

Heath nodded. “Not bad. What did you two think?” He looked over at James and him.

Well, he hadn’t followed it a jot. “Awesome.” Hopefully James would elaborate. Benny looked at him, but he was dialing a number on his phone.

“Would you like to join us for dinner, you guys?”

No. No way would he subject himself to more of this.

“It’d be great if you came along,” Heath added, with a dazzling smile.

“Sure. Absolutely. I’d love to.” He groaned inwardly. Why couldn’t he stop? Why were his impulses to follow the guy? Why did he read into every intonation and come up with excuses for how this might work? Like just now: Maybe if I hang around long enough as a friend, Lucy will soon disappear. I’ll be still there, though. Solid as a rock. Cry on my shoulder, baby.

James’s phone clapped shut. Benny hooked an arm around his friend’s. “So, we’re going to get a bite.”

James shook his head. Why was he shaking his head? “Sorry, Benny. I can’t.”

“Can’t?”

“Have a date. In fact, I need to run.”

Benny pulled his friend to the side of the room. “You have a date? You never told me.” Something about the fact irritated him, but he knew it was probably just his selfish need to have a friend as his lifeline here. Though it bugged him James never mentioned the date. Was this payback for not telling him about Heath? And just who was his date? “What’s he like, this date of yours?”

James cocked his head a little. What? Was he . . . no way. That looked like he was smitten.

“Um, hot.”

“Well of course he’s hot. Otherwise he’d be totally intimidated by your extreme good looks.”

A light pink tinged James’s cheeks. He raised a brow. “Good looking am I?”

“Hell yeah, and you know it.” Benny smiled, then huffed. “Damn, and I so wanted to kiss you.”

“What?” James spat the word out in a tone Benny’d never heard before. Calm down.

“Might’ve made Heath jealous, is all. Jeez, you sounded disgusted that I might’ve done that. Would it really be so bad?”

James laughed, though it didn’t sound like in humor. He gripped his shoulders. “Ah, Benny. You just . . . You don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“Look, I’ve really got to go.”

I latched onto his elbow. “Get what?”

James swallowed and looked around. His gaze fell on Heath and Lucy behind him. “Just . . . you don’t get that kissing me to make Heath jealous won’t work if he’s not interested in you. I’m sorry. Believe me. The unrequited shit stings.”