Life - 1. Chapter 1

Listen to my story... This may be our last chance.

My story basically began when I learned that I had cancer. I’m not a very good storyteller (I already gave out the climax of the story!) but I still hope you’ll listen. Anyways, this is my story and it will go the way I want it to or I’ll end it here. What are you so concerned about, you’re not the one with cancer. I am.

My life prior to knowing that I had cancer can only be termed as meaningless. I was an orphan and I had nobody. I studied hard, graduated with honors and started working for a multinational company as a clerk. I worked hard and became the president of the company. I could not hope for anything else. I worked day and night, even on weekends. I have never been on sick leave, never been late and never went for vacation.

I had everything under control until that fateful day. The company requires annual medical examination of its employees (including its officers) and as I had postponed the last 5 annual medical examinations, I had no choice. I went to the hospital not knowing that my life would change forever.

Of course it really did not happen in just one day, I had to return to the hospital for a couple more tests before the doctor gave me the bad news. I wasn’t really bothered when I learned that I had cancer. Cancer is curable nowadays and I had more than enough money to fund my treatment. That is until the doctor said that it’s uncurable (I had pancreatic cancer) and that I had only a year to live.

I felt like I was floating as I sat there in the doctor’s office. Then as I came to my senses, I was indignant. I started yelling at the doctor, telling him that he had no right whatsoever to tell me how long I’ll live. The poor doctor was apologetic and told me that I had every right to go for a second opinion. As was my nature, I did not only go for a second opinion, I also went for a third and finally a fourth one. It was all the same. I had the option for chemotherapy but the chance of being cured was dismal.

So my life was practically at an end, I was going to die. I knew that everyone will die eventually. I used to think that it would be better to know when I’ll die but after knowing that I only had a year to live, I suddenly wished that I did not know. Counting down the days to when I’ll finally expire was not exactly fun. That’s when I realized how meaningless my previous life has been. I was 35 (I’m still too young to die!) and I was literally alone. Well nothing has changed. I was alone the minute I was born. My parents had a car accident and my mother died giving birth to me (she was near death but still persisted on giving birth to me through her sheer will or so the nun in the orphanage told me).

Knowing that I lived a meaningless life, what do I do now that I know that I will soon die? Well of all the things, you know what I decided to do? I decided to go for a vacation to some tropical paradise. So there I was waiting for the plane to start boarding. I was wearing shorts and a tucked out shirt (after so many years). I had no care in the world except to enjoy myself as much and as long as I can.

I was sitting near the counter so couldn’t help overhearing a young man (probably in his 20s) telling the airline personnel that he did not know that his ticket was a fake. He was practically begging the airline personnel to let him go on this plane as he used all his savings just to get the (fake) ticket. The airline personnel felt sorry for the young man but there’s nothing he can do. The young man, crestfallen, was about to go when I suddenly spoke up.

“Do you still have an available ticket for this young man?” I said.

The young man looked at me first with interest then shock as I was paying for the ticket and finally disbelief as I was handing the ticket to him. I left him open mouthed as I went to get my things and boarded the plane. I was just getting comfortable in my window seat when the young man sat down beside me. He was all smiles and he kept on thanking me. I was blushing and was glad that he seemed not to notice.

“Hi, I’m Matt.” He said in his deep sexy voice.

“Hi, I’m Paul.” I croaked.

Turns out the young man was 25 and that he had always wanted to go to our island destination since he was in his teens but could only afford it when he finally got a permanent job.

“Took me five years to save up but I knew it would be worth it.” He said.

With less vigor, he told me how he bought his ticket on this shady travelling agency just because it was cheaper than the other travelling agencies.

“Obviously I’ve learned my lesson and I want to thank you again.” He said with all smiles at me.

It was my turn to talk and as my previous life was next to nothing, the story ended almost as soon as it began. He then told me all about himself. He was fascinating. He told his stories animatedly and he makes eye contact with me whenever he can. That was how I missed the take off, lost in this young man’s stories.

“Something the matter?” Matt asked.

“Sorry, I just suddenly realized we are airborne.” I said, once again blushing.

“You have a thing with heights?” He said with concern in his voice.

“No, I was just meaning to look out the window to observe the take off. This is my first vacation.” I said as an afterthought.

“Oops, sorry you missed it man.” He said and I just knew that he really meant it.

“Don’t worry about it. Your stories were amazing. It’s just that I’m an old man with my own eccentricities.”

“You’re not old!” He bellowed.

We both laughed. He started with his stories once again and I was once again lost in his stories. There was a momentary pang of jealousy when he started telling me about a certain girl but I immediately felt relieved when I realized that it was an ex-girlfriend. It was then that I excused myself as I went to the men’s room.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My mind was full of questions. I knew I was quite taken by this young man but could not understand why. I have never known my sexuality as I had practically neglected my personal life before. Suddenly realizing that I am attracted to this young handsome man made me so confuse.

Yes, he is handsome. He was tall (6 feet) with broad shoulders. He has light blue eyes and blonde hair which he kept short and neat. His lips is what people term as “luscious.” He is not muscular but it is obvious that he takes good care of his body. He is almost perfect, the only thing of note was his broken nose which he told me before was not from having a fight with someone but the result of his clumsiness when he was a kid (he fell from a tree). In my opinion, the broken nose made him sexier.

I did not want to come back to my seat but knew that I had to, eventually. So with my heart beating so fast inside my chest, I walked back to my seat.

“What took you so long?” And seeing the look in my face, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I was just feeling a bit sick.” I replied.

Suddenly getting the feeling that I want to be left alone, Matt kept to himself but I could still feel his gaze on me once in awhile. I kept my eyes closed the rest of the flight until I dozed off. I awoke when our plane finally landed. I still did not make eye contact with Matt.

“Thanks again, Paul. Hope you’ll enjoy your first vacation.” I heard him say. Is there regret in his voice?

I was not able to respond as the next thing I saw was his backpack as he made his way out of the plane. I had a moment of indecision but my emotions had the best of me. I quickly tried to follow him but was only able to catch him in the departure area.

“Matt, wait!” I shouted.

He was looking quizzically at me and I was suddenly afraid as I did not know what to say to this young man.

“Where are you staying?” I asked.

I caught a glimpse of shame in his face but he effectively covered it with his beautiful smile.

“Um well as you already know, I don’t have a lot of money so I’m not staying anywhere permanent. Probably anywhere cheap, just to sleep and take a bath. Anyways, I’ll be out most of the time enjoying everything.”

“Would you like to stay with me? That is if you don’t find it weird hanging out with an old man. I just did not want to be alone in this strange place.” I realized how true this was and was surprised that I had no qualms about admitting this to the young man in front of me.

I had already anticipated that he would decline but I was in complete disbelief as he said “yes.”

“For a moment there I thought you grew tired of me.” He said making eye contact once again.

“Never.” I said not breaking the eye contact.

We rode on a limousine courtesy of the hotel. I was booked on a first class hotel. Of course I only booked a single bed as I was not expecting any company but would have to immediately change the booking to a double.

“Man, you’re rich.” Matt said as he examined the interior of the limousine.

“Well for my defense, I do n0t own the limousine.” I said smiling.

The drive to the hotel was uneventful. We spent it talking of nothing in particular. As the limousine driver opened the passenger door, I stepped out and looked around. Everything was beautiful. The sun was shining. The clear blue sea was only miles away, waiting to be explored. The hotel was majestic, classical architecture with bits of contemporary mixed in. Matt was behind me, enjoying the same view.

“This is where you’ll stay?” Matt asked disbelievingly.

“No, this is where we’ll stay.” I said with emphasis.

We went directly to the front desk and I immediately asked to be transferred to a double bed room.

“Sorry, Sir, all of our double bed rooms are booked at the moment. The soonest opening will be tomorrow afternoon.”

I looked at Matt questioningly. He got the hint and just nodded his approval.

“That’s okay we will just share the room at the moment. I hope that will not be a problem?” I asked.

It was no problem at all. In fact, the hotel was very apologetic that they gave us complimentary dinner. A bell boy went with us to our room and after a giving him a generous tip, Matt and I were finally alone.

Matt was examining the room. It was truly magnificent. The king sized bed was more than big enough to accommodate both of us. The glass sliding door to the balcony was open and the curtains were swaying to and fro as the light sea breeze filters through the room. There was clear blue sky outside without any hint that it will rain anytime soon.

Matt finally looked back at me and he was all smile.

“This is perfect!” He said as he walked towards me. Before I knew it, he was hugging me. “Thanks!” He added.

He did all this as if it was perfectly normal for two guys to hug. I was deeply embarrassed and my heart was beating in overdrive. Thankfully, he had his back to me as he went to the balcony, pointing things I could never see and saying them aloud to me.

A couple of minutes later, he found me sitting on a couch breathing deeply.

“Are you okay?” He asked yet again.

“Sorry. I...” but I could not think of anything to say so I just kept quiet.

He sat next to me, so very close to me.

“I think you’re missing someone at home?” He asked.

“No.” I smiled. Was it my imagination or was he relieved at my answer? “As I told you I am an orphan and I am practically alone my whole life. This is my first time to share a room with anyone, well that is after the orphanage so very long ago.”

He got up and his wonderful ass was at my reach. He took a few steps then he suddenly turned and as my eyes were locked in his ass, he practically caught me staring at his crotch area. I blushed and looked away.

“Hey, Paul, dinner is hours away. The sea is calling, what do you say we head out and catch a few waves?”

As I was looking away from him, it was only through my peripheral vision that I saw him take off his shirt. Letting go of any pretense, I looked directly at him and watched him undo his denim shorts.

“So how do I look?” He asked.

I looked up to him and he seemed not to mind that I just watched him undress. I was speechless but the naughty young man was now posing for me, flexing his muscles. He even turned his back at me and his bubble ass was perfect. I was so turned on, I did not realize that I had a hard on.

“What are you waiting for? Strip off so we can finally be out of here.”

I had no choice but to do as he say. Ashamed of my hard on, I kept my back to him as I took off my shirt and my shorts. I went to get a towel which I wrapped around my waist.

“Very nice.” Matt commented. I blushed.

Fifteen minutes later, we were at the beach. I managed to control my hard on so the towel was unceremoniously shed. Matt was scanning the clear blue waters whilst I scanned the people. Matt was by far the best looking person in the beach and I was a bit proud that he seemed not to mind to be seen with me. In fact, Matt involved me in everything.

Finally, we were wading through waist high waters. Matt was a good swimmer and he was soon swimming like a professional. I knew how to swim too (not as good as Matt though) and we were soon having mini-swimming races in which Matt always won. We were having fun and I was just enjoying the feeling of the sun against my skin, the water all over my body and the young hot man just a few feet away from me. Hours later, I was tired (Matt was still swimming like a professional) and told Matt that I had to get back to the shore. I did not expect Matt to go back with me but he did. I was so glad.

“So what are your plans for the evening?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” He replied.

“Well you told me during our flight that you had plans of partying all night, right? That does not need to change just because you’re staying with me. I mean I enjoy your company but that does not include spoiling your vacation.”

“Paul, believe it or not, I’m having a great time with you. Why should I go out partying if I can be with you?” He said this innocently but I pretended that he wants me too as much as I want him. It only lasted for a second but the feeling was good.

“Well suit yourself but you’ll grow tired of me eventually. I mean I’m no fun at all.” I said.

“You can always go with me, you know? I mean you can party with me!”

I pictured myself partying with all the young people and I felt alive. “Sure, why not.” I said smiling.

We went to dinner, both of us wearing informal clothes (Matt should be a model, he looked stunning wearing only white shirt and faded blue jeans). We both enjoyed dinner, the food was great, the music coming out of the piano was calming and the slight sea breeze circulating throughout the room (there were no windows, just large wide frames). Matt was telling another one of his stories and I listened as I watched him. His dimpled smiles were captivating. I noticed that he would run his fingers through his hair from time to time, probably out of habit. He would also sometimes lick his lips to moisten them which I found very sexy. As my gaze went to his eyes, he met my gaze and then we were staring deeply into each others eyes. He stopped talking. It must have been only for a few minutes but it felt like forever. He started talking again but I was preoccupied with my own thoughts. Why did he not break eye contact?

I had about five glasses of wine and my head started buzzing. Matt must have sensed this as he asked whether we should go back to our room. All I could do was nod. Nothing exceptional happened during the walk towards our room but he was quiet the whole time. I hardly noticed. The five glasses of wine I had started to kick in. I went straight for the bed and closed my eyes. My head was beginning to spin.

“I’ll sleep on the couch.” Matt said.

That cured my stupor. “Why?” I asked. “This bed is big enough for the two of us. I reckon it’s big enough for three actually.”

I looked at his face and he seemed calculating. Without a word, he went to the other side of the bed and laid his body down, his back towards me. I closed my eyes and when I opened them next, bright sunlight was issuing from the windows and the open balcony.

I got up, Matt was nowhere to be seen but the shower was at full blast in the bathroom. I meant to go to the balcony but caught my reflection in the full length mirror on the way there. I looked at myself, for once highly conscious of my appearance. I actually don’t look too bad. I stand almost as tall as Matt, probably just a few centimeters shorter. My brown short hair which I always kept neat was in complete disarray at the moment, probably from tossing and turning in sleep. I self-consciously tried to arrange my hair. I looked at my face, sure I don’t have light blue eyes and a broken nose but my brown eyes and un-broken nose were not half bad. In fact, I am a bit aware of the power my penetrating, fathomless brown eyes coupled with my long curly lashes have on people and in some ways I have always used them to my advantage. I have never been to the gym but being conscious of my health and diet, I am proud that I still have no gut. Why am I suddenly so conscious about my appearance? Of course I knew the answer but I was still in denial.

I turned my back to the mirror and after a few steps, I parted the curtain that separates the room and the balcony and stepped forward. The room was almost at the top of the building and the view was great. It was almost hard to pinpoint where the clear blue sea ended and the clear blue sky began in the horizon, they blended perfectly. The sea breeze against my skin was wonderful. I closed my eyes and inhaled, enjoying the distinct smell of the sea invading my sense of smell. I was at this dream-like state when strong arms from behind suddenly wrapped itself around me. Was this reality or fantasy?

I opened my eyes and it was reality. My pulse quickened as I realized to whom the arms belonged to.

“Good morning.” The deep sexy voice said.

I unwrapped myself and turned around, Matt was smiling at me and he was wearing only a towel around his waist.

“Paul, how long will we keep this act? I am head over heels attracted to you and I have the impression that you feel the same way.”

I wanted to celebrate but all I could say was, “Why?”

“Because no matter how you looked down on yourself, you are damn beautiful. I spent the whole time at the beach yesterday trying to suppress the feeling of jealousy at every man and woman who were looking at you!”

“But I thought they were looking at you?” I asked confused.

He brushed that off with a wave of his hand.

“Oh that. They might be, but they were looking at you too. We must be the best looking guys out there yesterday.” He said proudly.

He moved closer to me, his eyes on mine. He hugged me once again. I felt safe around his arms. I wanted to hug him back. But my emotions prevailed and tears just started coming.

“Paul, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?”

I kept shaking my head and trying to stop the tears from coming. When I was finally in control of my emotions again, I looked at Matt.

“I’m sorry, Matt, I just did not realize that I was gay.” I said.

“Paul, why put label on things? I mean I certainly did not ask for this. I have never been with another man before. At first, I was grateful about your kindness. But the more I spend time with you, the more I realize how much I am attracted at you. But what really matters more to me is how I feel for you and how you feel for me.”

Of course Matt was right. This time I was the one who hugged him and he hugged me back. I felt that I was not alone anymore. He pushed me away a little and I noticed his eyes on my lips. He licked his lips then he put his lips against mine and we kissed. We were both breathing hard as I shared my first kiss with him. Somehow it did not feel wrong. As we kissed, my right hand was gently caressing his hair, the left groping around his back while he still had his arms around me. We made out for half an hour.

We stopped just as suddenly as we started. We were searching deep within each other’s eyes. Feeling bold, I tugged at his towel and it gave away. I smirked while he positively smiled. We both looked down at the same time. His cock was at full attention. It was 8” of hard thick meat. I went for his balls and started toying with them as I started kissing and licking his neck. Meanwhile his hands were busy undoing my pants. I wrapped my hand around his cock and it felt warm and alive. I started moving my hand up and down but he stopped me.

Our eyes were once again locked together, searching. It was momentarily broken as he took off my shirt. When we locked our eyes once again, he was easing my shorts down my legs. Then he kneeled down in front of me.

There was my young man kneeling in front of me, his face was mere inches from my crotch. He was investigating the tent in my boxers. I closed my eyes as I felt him easing down my boxers. His hot breathe against my cock and balls immediately made my body temperature rise. Then I felt him wrap his lips around my cock. He gave me my first ever blowjob and all I could do was watch and moan and massage his hair. When I could not control myself, I grabbed him and kissed him. Even though he was bigger than me, I was able to transport both of us from the balcony to the bedroom. I laid him gently in bed and it was my turn to taste my first ever cock. His cock tasted wonderful and I just wanted more and more until I was drinking his cum.

When I finished, I grabbed my cock and started jacking off myself. But Matt took over. I closed my eyes as his hand glided up and down my cock. I was lost in fantasy that it was too late before I realized that Matt was lowering his ass towards my cock. I was shocked as I saw my cock plop inside his ass and was stricken with fear as I heard him gasp with pain. I tried to push him away but he hugged me tightly. Then we were kissing again.

I watched his face in horror as he took more of my cock inside him. He was in so much pain and I was ridden with guilt as I realized that I absolutely felt wonderful. I begged him to stop but he just kept on taking more of me until I was all the way in. I saw a single tear roll down his cheeks and I just hugged him close. Minutes later, his hips started grinding, my cock going in and out of him. It was difficult at first but before long, we were both moaning. I felt wonderful and he seem to feel exactly as I do. I carefully laid him on his back without taking my cock out of him and I started pounding his ass. I pushed all the way inside him and collapsed on top of him as my cock unloaded itself deep inside him. His cock spewed cum all over our bodies and we were practically glued together with cum.

Our bodies were covered in sweat and cum. My cock was semi-hard, still impaled inside him. I was giving him kisses all over his face and neck.

“Never thought I’d take a 9” cock up my ass.” He said teasingly.

“Really? The way you were handling my cock, I thought for sure that this was not your first time.” I teased back. He landed a punch in my right shoulder.

I watched as my cum-covered cock slid out of his ass. His ass was absolutely sexy, I leaned down and started licking my cum off. When I finished, I noticed that his ass ring was a bit sore. I gave it a kiss.

“Sorry for that.” I said.

He was going to reply but the phone suddenly rang. It was the front desk and they wanted to know whether we are still interested in transferring to a double bed room. After a brief of consultation with Matt, I shyly told the person on the other line that we wanted to keep our present room.

We stayed in bed the whole of that day. Matt never seemed to run out of things to say. That’s when I found out that his parents just decided to get a divorce. He said it very casually but I knew that he is affected more than he was willing to admit. I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. He looked at me and without saying anything, our eyes were conversing. I was comforting him. So the riddle of why this young man with a very bright future ahead of him just decided to pack his bags and go to an island was solved. He was running away from his problems. He laid his head on my chest and I held him close. A shudder passed through his body and I knew that he was crying. I never said anything but I held him more closely, gently caressing his back. Soon, he was calm. He had cried himself to sleep.

With nothing better to do, various thoughts entered my mind. First, I was thinking about how it felt to have parents. I decided that it felt wonderful judging from the way Matt reacted on learning about his parent’s plan for divorce. Then I thought about Matt. Thinking about Matt filled me with so much happiness. He seemed to make me complete and alive. I thought about the things that we did together. I made love with this young man and it was a blast. On perspective, he seemed to have enjoyed it as much as I did although his reaction on our first penetration gave me a scare. It was weird how everything just happened naturally despite of the fact that we were both virgins in gay sex. I had a suspicion that Matt was not a virgin when it comes to straight sex but spared myself the pain by not asking him.

Am I in love? Most probably. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Matt. Then, it was like a bucket of cold water was thrown at me. The rest of my life? That’s hilarious as I only had a year to live, well actually less than a year now. I looked at the young man beside me, all fears and doubts (am I really gay?) were washed away. I wanted to believe and hope. Somehow death or the prospect of it made all unreasonable things seem irrelevant. I want to cling to life, I want to be with this young man.

The days that followed were filled with love and passion. After a week of making love with Matt’s ass, I finally learned what he was going to say before we were interrupted by the phone call. Turns out Matt wanted a piece of my ass too and the initial pain was nothing compared to the absolute bliss of feeling Matt’s cock sliding in and out of my hole. After that, we took turns satisfying each other’s desires. We were in love. Matt was not shy at all and I was so shocked when he first kissed me in the beach with all those people watching us. Instead of avoiding us, people started looking more interestedly at us. Suddenly men (mostly boys) were approaching us and talking with us aside from the occasional women. I was conservative and I flatly said no when Matt opened the subject of a threesome or an orgy. He was relieved too because as he said, he would be very jealous if he sees me making love with another person. He asked merely as a courtesy to me in case I wanted to.

We were out exploring the island one day when we came across this small wooden beach house. Matt was head over heels in love with the house, I was actually a bit jealous. We knocked on the front door but nobody answered. Matt, to my horror, tried the door and it opened. We went inside, Matt willingly while I did it merely because of him. The inside was cozy. The place was neat despite being uninhabited. The bedroom was perfect for a couple. Matt begged me to make love with him in the bed but I flatly said no, he was very disappointed. On our way to the hotel, Matt was still talking about the house. He was painting his future and I was part of it. He told me he wanted to have a house exactly like the beach house where we will live together as couples. I was filled both with happiness and pain. If Matt only knew.

Well after hearing Matt’s plan, what else could I do? Without Matt knowing, I contacted my lawyer and told him about my plan of buying a beach house. I gave him the address and left instructions for him to contact me as soon as possible. After a couple of days, I got a phone call from my lawyer informing me that he was able to identify the owner. He made contact but the owner flatly said that the place was not for sale. Being on a mission, I contacted the owner myself. I made the owner, which turned out to be an old widowed lady, a very generous offer. I also told her about Matt and that the reason I want to buy the house is out of love for him. The lady was so happy to hear about my love story. Turns out that the beach house was occupied before by none other than the lady and her deceased husband. The house used to be filled with love and after her husband died, she can’t bear the thought of the house being bare of love that she had to leave. After hearing about my story, she immediately agreed to sell the house to me provided that I would fill the house with love. After a week, I had the key to the house.

One morning, Matt was still asleep. I touched my lips against his and a smile formed at his mouth. He opened his eyes and they were sparkling. I knew that he wanted to make love but I had another reason for waking him up. I raised my right hand, the one that was holding the key to the beach house. Matt’s attention was suddenly diverted to the key that I was holding. His expression was questioning. I just smiled and told him to get dressed. He did this grudgingly, hauling my ass to the bed whenever he can. When we were finally both dressed, we went to the beach. I wanted to surprise him so I did not go straight for the beach house. Instead, I took the long way sometimes even doubling back or stopping at nowhere in particular. This made Matt very frustrated. He kept asking where we were going to which I just smiled. When we were meters away from the beach house, I turned to him, blocking his view. I must have looked ridiculous walking backwards but it did the trick. Before Matt realized it, we were standing at the front door of the beach house.

I handed the key to Matt and indicated the door. We both knew that the door is unlocked but Matt still fitted the key in. It was a perfect fit. Matt was suddenly hugging me and kissing me, he even managed to carry me and haul me inside which made me blush. We went straight to the bedroom and this time Matt did not need to beg me to make love to him.

“I want to ask you something.” I said while we were cuddling after our round of love-making.

“Anything.” He replied.

“Stay with me.” I said looking straight to his eyes.

“Do you have a phone?” He said.

“Why?” I asked, completely baffled.

“Well because I have to call my boss and tell him that I am resigning. I also have to call my Dad and Mom. They will freak out when they find out I’m moving in with another man.” He said smiling widely.

“Good luck.” I said handing him my phone.

“Thanks.” Was all he said.

The exact same day, we collected what luggage we had from the hotel and checked out. We moved in our house and started living as couples. Matt was a great cook. While Matt was busy at the kitchen, I cleaned and tidied things around the house. Then we would go for our usual swim at the beach, holding hands as we walked side by side.

As we were in bed one night, Matt suddenly got up and smiled at me sheepishly. He then started undressing. I smiled widely, thinking that it was the start of our “routine” love-making but was literally baffled as I watched him going out of our room, butt naked. I quickly undressed and followed him. All I heard was the front door slamming shut. What is going on?

I peered through the door and Matt was walking naked in the beach, moonlight reflecting through his tanned skin. I looked around, the beach was deserted. I followed him and just managed to catch a glimpse of him as the sea water engulfed him. The feeling of the sea water around my naked skin made me horny. Suddenly, Matt was behind me and hugging me. We kissed and caressed, small waves lapping through our bodies. Matt made me wrap my arms and legs around him. Then I felt his rigid cock trying to enter my ass. I tried to relax and he was able to enter me. He then guided my hips, moving it up and down, his cock going in and out of my hole in the process. We both had our eyes closed and we were kissing, the feeling of the water all over us increasing our heated emotions. When he finally came, it was like never before. My ass was literally flooded. With sea water and cum dripping from our naked bodies, we walked hand in hand towards our home and we slept in our bed wrapped in each other’s arms.

All good things, of course, had to end. After several months of an ideal life with Matt, it was starting. I was beginning to die. Thankfully, it began while Matt was out for grocery. It began with unbearable pain from the right side of my belly and coursing throughout my body. Involuntary tears started rolling down my eyes and my forehead was beaded with sweat. I quickly went to the bathroom and was surprised to see a stranger in the reflection at the mirror. Gone was the twinkle in my eyes, the glow that emanated as a result of making love with Matt. Instead the reflection was papery white with a gruesome expression on his face.

I wanted to vomit. I wanted to scream in pain. I just wanted to curl on the bathroom floor until the pain went away. But then I heard movement outside, Matt was home. I tried to compose myself and acted as if everything was fine even though I felt like my body was being torn apart.

“Hey, what happened? You look like hell.” Matt greeted.

“I just found out I was two weeks delayed.” I joked, trying very hard to smile.

“If that could even be possible, I’d be the luckiest man alive.” He said while approaching me then finally wrapping his arms around me.

“Paul, there’s something really wrong with you, you’re trembling.”

“You’re right, I think I need to lie down. I didn’t get much sleep last night. All you’re fault, you know?” I lied.

Matt gave me a weird look but did not say anything. I went to our bedroom and lied down. Unbearable pain was still coursing throughout my body and I tried very hard not to scream. What hurts the most was realizing that I deceived Matt. I knew I was dying but I let Matt into my life. He certainly does not deserve to be hurt once I’m gone. I was guilt-ridden and I began to cry quietly.

When I awoke, I was feeling perfectly fine. Gone was the unbearable pain but the guilt was still present. I looked around me, I was alone. I went outside the bedroom and everything was quiet. Was it all a dream? Was Matt only a dream? I was just about to decide that it was indeed a dream when I saw a faint glow in the dining room. There were lighted candles and Matt was waiting for me. He prepared a candlelit dinner. I smiled.

Matt and I dined together. It was lovely, the food was great and we never seem to run out of things to talk about. I wanted to tell him about my condition but the fear of losing him if I did kept me from saying anything. I wanted to keep him with me as long as I possibly could. I knew I was being selfish but it was the only way I could prevent myself from being alone. I never want to be alone, never again.

The unbearable pain visited me when I least expect it. I told Matt that it was just my migraine acting up. I knew he did not believe me, he kept giving me this weird look. But he never said a word. He just continued on loving me. Sometimes when he’s asleep, I would examine his face. His face looked so peaceful, so beautiful. I memorized his face, every part of his body. I hoped against hope that I’ll be able to retain my memory even after death because I certainly would not want to forget Matt. He’s my everything. One night, he caught me examining him. He did not get mad, he just smiled his sweet smile and gave me a kiss.

The moment I dreaded happened. While I was having another episode of the unbearable pain attack in the bedroom, Matt walked in. The horror on his face was enough for me to know how miserable I looked. I wanted to reassure him that everything was fine but could not. He held me close to him and he began to cry. Suddenly, the pain was gone replaced by an unnatural calm. I knew it was time.

“Matt, I’m sorry for not telling you until now, but I’m dying. I left a letter for you. It will explain everything, not that it could ever really explain the guilt of deceiving you. I really hope you will understand. Please know that I love you with all my heart. You gave me courage to face death because I know that I am not alone.”

I moved my face closer to his and kissed him for the very last time. Then I felt myself floating away. It was weird, one minute I was looking straight into Matt’s tear-strained eyes, the next I was hovering above Matt and my lifeless body. I witnessed as Matt screamed at the top of his lungs, grieving my loss. But they say that after death, there are no regrets and I felt nothing as I watched Matt. I even observed my own funeral.

Finally, Matt was all alone in our house. Though I was there, I did not consider myself part of his world anymore. I knew I was going soon, I was just waiting for something. He looked so miserable and dejected but I still felt nothing. Then he went to our bedroom and I saw him take my letter and began to read.

Dear Matt,

If you are reading this then I am already dead and I’m sorry. I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and only had less than a year to live when I met you. I did not tell you about my condition simply because I did not want to lose you. You gave me the greatest gift of all, you gave me life. I never imagined that my life would begin after knowing that I was going to die. It is sad, but it is the truth.

Matt, my beloved, I’m sorry for deceiving you. I wanted to tell you, I wanted to set you free but I became selfish. You are my life and I wanted to live! I hope that someday, you will be able to forgive me.

My life has ended, but my story does not need to meet the same fate. Let my story continue through you. Matt, you are my only hope. I finally found the one thing that people craved for whether they admit it or not, I found immortality. Don’t you get it Matt? I could live through you. Live Matt, live for both of us.

I love you so much, my darling Matt. You are not alone, I will always be with you in your memories as you are with me, wherever I am. Fill your life with memories, my love. Forget about the pain that I caused you and think only of the good times we had together. Be not afraid to love again.

Matt, I have instructed my lawyer to give you my whole estate, including this house. He will contact you soon. Please consider it as my gift, my dying wish. If anything, this house is rightfully yours. I bought it for you. Fill it with love not only because it was the previous owner’s wish but also in memory of me. We filled this house with love. Fill it once again with love with someone.

Matt, live and love.

Yours forevermore,

Paul