How I Survived - 1. Chapter 1

I used to be like you. I used to think that the zombie apocalypse would be kinda fun and exciting. I secretly hoped it would happen like everyone else. But that’s because, like you, I thought it would be like all the videogames or movies or books. Let me tell you one thing though: It’s not even close.

I should probably make one thing clear though. I have no idea who you are or why you are reading this, and quite frankly, I don’t really care. For all I know, you could have put a bullet through my head, or sliced my neck just moments before you found this, but guess what? I’m not writing this for you. If you’re reading this, then I’m sure you will understand how much the moans of those things can affect your mind. So as I stay boarded up in this little closet, I’m choosing to write so I don’t go insane; because let me tell you, a pack of them have been rummaging around downstairs and they just won’t leave the damn house. All I have had to listen to is their constant moaning and I can just feel my sanity dripping away. So I’m gonna use this old computer as a basin for my sanity. I’m lucky enough that the battery is still good on it, I just pray it will hold out long enough for me to finish or for them to leave.

Well I could start by describing myself. I’m eighteen and I have short brown hair. Before all of this went down I was actually kinda stylish. I always bleached the tips of my hair and spiked it in a Mohawk, but I don’t have the time or energy for that shit anymore. Not to mention it’s kinda pointless. I mean, what good is making yourself look cool if no one else is around to see it? Actually, there are others, but you would be surprised at how many of them went completely insane.

That’s one thing all those movies and stories got wrong: the survivors. To start off, there really aren’t many ‘raiders’ as there are often predicted to be. I guess there are some groups like in the stories, but I’ve never encountered any. Really with all the abandoned houses and stores, people, even malicious ones, just opt to loot them, rather than risk getting shot by a survivor for their items. A second thing the stories got wrong was the sanity of survivors. Like I was saying earlier, just the noise of the zombies is enough to drive someone crazy. It might seem like an exaggeration, but when you mix the low gurgle with the fear of death and the feeling of your impending doom, and you have a perfect recipe for insanity. Along with that, there were the survivors who couldn’t bring themselves to suicide. Truth be told, that’s kind of why I’m still here. Even though I know I will be torn apart by those things, and die a horrible death, my instinctual will to survive overrides any attempt at suicide, even if it is a completely logical solution. And that’s the dilemma that many other people faced too. They just couldn’t pull the trigger or slash the blade, so instead many opted to use group suicides. You know, the ‘I shoot you, you shoot me’ method. Except, what happens when someone’s too quick with the trigger? When they apply a little more pressure to their lover’s throat than what is being applied to theirs? I tell you what. You end up with a very lonely and distraught individual who is frightened of every shadow and just murdered their lover or family member with their own hands, but still cannot drive themselves to suicide. So there you go, another way that many, many people turned crazy.

You might wonder how I avoided such a fate. Well, like the smart ones, I ran. You might think I’m a coward, but you know what? At least I’m alive to be called one. Nature has always rewarded the cowardly. It’s the fish who jumps at shadows that grows to be a foot long. It’s the deer that runs from snapping twigs that doesn’t get shot. And so it’s the man the runs from everything that doesn’t get torn apart and devoured.

You may think I sound harsh, but you have to be this way to survive. Those who empathize will die. You can’t stop for every begging voice, because their just like the sirens, leading you into danger. And so if you are actually reading this, I suggest you pick up the damn computer and start moving, because I’m sure those things will be drawn to whatever noise you made getting here.

I’m starting to wonder where you will find this. I think about that quite often, really. It seems like I’m just counting down the days until I die, rather than trying to stay optimistic. I think that hope died with the government, and it died hard. Oh, and that’s another thing those stories got wrong. So many depict the government as being overrun by the zombies, but they didn’t destroy the government; it destroyed itself.

Even in the apocalyptic world, politics was as toxic and lively as ever. Essentially, after the first breakouts started the Republicans began to blame the Democrats for not investing enough in National Security. And as a rebuttal, the Democrats claimed not enough money was put into science and medicine, to prevent the spread of such a disease. Really, it started as just a stupid ploy to blame the other side, and thus both would have an excuse to sit around and spend their paychecks, but the American public, driven even further into stupidity by their fright, became the perfect incubators for this claims.

As they so often do, they took the word of the government as complete fact. And as the also love to do, they were too stubborn to admit that maybe, just maybe that wasn’t the truth, and instead they decided to argue over who was right and who was wrong. So basically, what started as the government’s ‘excuse’ expanded into an argument throughout the country. It didn’t stop there though. With all the fear in the air, clouding everyone’s good judgment, people began to get violent, hoping to wash away the threat with the blood of others. It stated with a few riots and random attacks against strong political groups, and eventually it erupted into something of a civil war. It didn’t take long for certain states, like the ‘Bible Belt’ and Washington and California to declare independence from the USA and recruit any Republicans or Democrats to live the ‘right way’. So obviously, through all this mayhem and shit, the government kinda fell apart. The federal government actually didn’t really put up much of a fight, or if they did we never really heard about it. Personally I think all of the people just decided to take their huge piles of money and slip away into the shadows before anyone could blame them.

Of course this new America wasn’t completely anarchistic though. Some base rules still seemed to apply. People still respected others property for the most part and didn’t threaten others’ lives, mainly because they didn’t want to run the risk of getting injured themselves. With the corpses running around and eating people alive, it kind of made people think twice about making enemies. That’s not to say everyone was civilized though, as violence did increase a lot after the government fell, but it just wasn’t nearly as bad as people thought it would be. One rule that did kind of get thrown out was the shoplifting rule. Basically a lot of the small shop owners just left their stores unlocked after they ran from town, or willingly offered to donate supplies in hopes that they would not be threatened or injured. And anyways money kinda didn’t matter anymore. Everyone just adjusted to a system of bartering for good, or simply giving away what they didn’t need. It’s actually kind of funny how fear brings people together.

I have tried to stay away from most people though, mainly because being in a large group just seems stupid in my opinion. Most of the zombies, as long as their ear drums aren’t rotted out, are drawn to sound, and I wouldn’t be that surprised if they could sense vibrations of moment as well. You have to figure, if you take away the burden of consciousness, if you didn’t worry about how you looked, or how to act or any of that shit, then your senses must be improved a hell of a lot, right? The zombies, as far as I can tell, only have to focus on hunting. They don’t have any of our little human issues, and so I imagine that they are much more observant than we are; and so that’s why I stay the hell away from groups, especially ones with children.

Truth be told, I did just come from a group, before I ended up in this closet. It ended kinda badly, but I don’t have time to write about that now. Perhaps after I sleep I will do some more writing, because this does seem to be helping me get a grip on my sanity. I’m just hoping that they can’t hear the keys as I type, because I don’t think I barricaded the stairs well enough. I do think that hiding in a closet was a good idea though. I don’t know if they have human memories, but if they do, I figure the last place they would check is a closet. That and if they find the door, I can wedge my back against the wall and hold the door shut with my feet.

I think I should finish my typing for now. I do need some sleep, because I’m hoping I can move tomorrow. Like I said, I prefer to run, and so just being in this house all day has been bothering me a lot. I’ll write about how I got here tomorrow, if I still have time, or just the next time that I need a distraction. I may as well write down my entire store since this started before I forget it, because it’s so easy to forget things now. When you’re fighting for your life, you don’t really spend much time reminiscing. But that’s all for now. I will write more soon, I hope.

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