Last Call - 1. Chapter 1

Rachel woke with a jolt. It took a moment for her foggy mind to recognize the annoying buzzing sound. The screen of her cell phone lit up her tiny bedroom when it rang again on her nightstand. Fumbling with the phone, she blinked, trying to focus her sleepy eyes, but it was helpless. She was blind without her glasses. Clumsily grabbing her phone, she answered with an automatic swipe of her thumb.

“Hello?” Rachel answered, still in a haze.

“Rachel?” the caller asked, as the screen of her cell phone went black, plunging the room back into darkness.

“Sam? Is that you?” Rachel gasped at the sound of his thick raspy voice. It was very distinctive. She had dreamed of that voice a million times. Rachel longed for Sam to be there whispering her name into her ear, holding her against his chest, spooning her body as she lay in bed at night. Instead, she had a pathetic blanket wrapped around her bare shoulders, and not Sam’s warm arms.

“Rachel?” His voice was low and throaty when he asked her, “Are you still there?”

She was consumed with excitement. Sam was really calling her. She didn’t care that it was three o’clock in the morning. He was calling her and for a moment, Rachel forgot how to speak. “Y-y-yes, Sam,” she whispered into the phone. “I’m here…for you, my love,” silently mouthing the words that he would never hear. Those words could never be spoken in the light of day. Rachel has loved Sam since the first moment she met him, but she would never ever be able to tell him how she felt.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” Sam softly apologized.

Not wanting him to hang up, Rachel quickly reassured him it was fine. “It’s no problem, Sam, but, where’s Carlos?” As soon as the words spilled out, she immediately wanted them back. She was still half-asleep, and it had just slipped. It’s not like she really cared where Carlos was. Sam was calling her! He needed someone to talk to and he reached out to her, not Carlos! Carlos had Sam all the time; right now, he was hers. Rachel had always been envious of Sam’s handsome Latino boyfriend, jealous of all the time they spend together, but Rachel knew that nobody was ever going to be good enough for her Sam. She shook her head and reminded herself that they were her friends, both of them were her friends, yet she couldn’t deny the longing she felt for Sam.

“He’s gone…”

Rachel waited for Sam to explain. When he didn’t, she closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. The last thing she wanted was to talk about his relationship with someone else. “Well, I’m still here,” she whispered, “I will always be here for you.” Nobody could ever love Sam like she did.

“I was twelve-years-old the first time I met someone like me…”

Rachel was quiet while he opened up. She quickly realized Sam wasn’t talking about meeting someone gay. This was deeper, darker, and disturbingly different from anything he had told her before.

“…He went to school with my older brother, Tom, but I instantly knew they weren’t friends, because after he walked away, Tommy completely shredded the guy, making fun of him, calling him all kinds of horrible names. Not me! I wasn’t scared of him. I wasn’t disgusted like Tom. My heart was pounding inside my chest. I was riveted. I couldn’t stop staring at the guy. It was impossible not to notice a six-foot black guy wearing a blonde wig and a powder-blue spandex dress. He was beautiful. My chest was so tight, I thought it would burst. Every nerve in my body burned for him.”

Closing her eyes, listening to Sam’s voice, Rachel didn’t want to interrupt him. He’d never opened up like this before, and she didn’t want him to stop talking. Sam never hid the fact he was gay, yet Rachel had thought his mildly effeminate manner was nothing more than Sam’s soft, kindhearted nature. Obviously, there was a secret side to Sam that Rachel didn’t know.

“It was absolutely frightening and exhilarating at the same time. His image is forever burned into my mind,” Sam said. When he didn’t speak again for several long minutes, Rachel thought he had hung up.

“Sam?”

“Have I ever told youuu how much I need youuu? Being around youuu makes me feel normal. I don’t feel like I have to pretend or be someone I’m not. I love youuu, Rachel.”

Rachel gasped at his confession. Those were the words she’d longed to hear.

“I-I-It’s too late,” Sam mumbled. His soft words held a slur that she hadn’t noticed before and now it suddenly scared her.

“Sam, what’s going on?” Trembling as she asked him, tears streamed from Rachel’s eyes, wetting her face, causing strands of hair to stick to her cheeks. She has loved Sam for years and finally, sitting in the dark, she told him, “I love you, too.”

“N-N-No backup p-p-plan…” Sam stuttered, before the phone suddenly went silent.

“Sam? Sam!” Rachel screamed into the darkness, but nobody answered.

The next morning, Rachel received another phone call. This one was from the police officer who found the body of Samuel Retner McCormick in his home, where he had died of an apparent drug overdose. Sam had committed suicide. His cell phone was beside his body, along with several crumpled letters. The most recent one, dated two days earlier, was his last and final rejection letter for gender reassignment surgery. It was clutched in his cold, dead hand.