A Thousand Nights with You - 8. Grey skies

Day 47

The morning sun glared as I stirred in Tristan's arms. My eyes feel raw and swollen as I rubbed; we must have cried ourselves to sleep last night. There are so much to ask and say to my brother, but words simply failed us. Between the hugs and tears, he swore never to call me names again and I apologised for the times I had ratted on him to mom and dad. At that time, I didn't know why we cried over little things like these. All I know is that I have a second chance with him and I can't let any regrets go unspoken and unforgiven. No matter how small or silly they are.

I sat up from the bedroll with a hollow ache in my chest. Drained of tears and emotions, I feel lost and lifeless. What will happen to us now? What will happen to me? My brother made a desperate attempt to save me by prostituting me to the soldiers. No one knew we are brothers and Mark got beaten up when he tried to stop Tristan from taking me away. I am safe for now, but for how long?

I looked around.

This small room used to be my brother's Varsity Scout meeting room. It is now his own private quarters. It is still decorated with many of his memorabilia. His eagle honour badge hung proudly on his locker, side by side with the neatly pressed scout uniform, pictures of his varsity scout troop hanging on the wall: Hands over shoulders, broad smiles and teeth, he still kept memories of his old friendships. In fact, some of his friends' belongings still remained inside their lockers, dusted and tidy as though he expects them to return. I wondered what happened to them.

Unlike the rest, the soldiers get to sleep in their own quarters. This is to avoid cluster risk. If the infected attacks at night, the soldiers don't all get killed at once. On the other hand, the civilians sleep in pairs. If one get munched, the other still get a chance to escape. In other words, people like me is expendable.

"Dan?" Tristan woke up. His eyes are red and swollen, and his voice still hoarse. "Are you okay?"

I turn away to look out at the window, the school seems so deceptively tranquil from here. Even when we are surrounded by hordes of infected at the supermarket, I felt safer there. Perhaps it was the warmth and laughter shared among strangers, and the kindness that was given to us freely. The infected are dangerous, but I find men even scarier. I still couldn't get the image of Felicia's bloodied body out of my head.

"Mom and dad almost made it here." I said softly, uncertain if that was really a bad thing. At least they won't have to suffer the hunger, the fear and the humiliation by these people.

Tristan didn't look surprised. In fact, his silent gaze is complicit that he felt the same way.

"Were you there? When they died?" I asked.

He nods slowly. His face wrought with guilt and shame.

"I couldn't let her go." He choked softly.

"Did you visit her? At least?"

Tristan looked down and remained silent.

I thought about mom being infected. Did she ate dad when the car overturned? Was she hungry and lonely like us? Did she think about us when she's pinned under the car weeks after weeks?

How can Tristan let her suffer like this? I wanted to hit him, but I hugged him instead.

"It's okay, she is at peace now."

He puts his hand on the back of my head and held it. It felt strange to be in his arms. It's something mom or dad is supposed to do; comfort us when we're scared. Tristan and I fight and tumble more than we hug. We shared laughter and bruises more than we share tears and secrets. Other than the litany of insults we reserved for each other, we hardly express our affections openly. This little gesture is telling me my brother is stepping up to take charge.

"I won't let you out of my sight again, Dan."

I nodded as I rest on his shoulders.

"And I can't call you a fat ass any more." He rubbed his hands down my torso and smiled sadly. "You got nothing but ribs."

"Nice to know you're still a dick head."

We chuckled quietly. So much for no more name callings.

Tristan takes a mouldy bread out from his bag and broke into half and shared it with me. There is still some time before his sentry duty begins, so I asked him how he ended up as a soldier.

My brother was an Eagle Varsity scout, which means he's top notch when it comes to survival and working in a team. When the whole thing started, he and his scout troops were heading to the woods for forestry training. Suddenly, they saw hordes of people and cars leaving the city as battalions of soldiers, tanks and planes came in. He returned to help the army evacuate and to look for us at the same time.

The school was almost overrun when they arrived. They lost more than half of the troops on the first day alone. If it weren't for the Colonel, none of them would have survived today.

"You sound like you respect him." I said with open disdain.

"All of us had done things that we weren't proud of, Dan. The Colonel had to make tough decisions that no one would make."

"He killed Felicia."

"It was an accident." He looked away and said, "Besides, I killed people too."

I was astounded. The brother I knew would never do such a thing. He might be mean or cheeky at times, but he's always the one who would help out someone in the neighbourhood.

"W-Why? Who did you kill?"

"A young solider, like me. He was bitten. When I saw the mark, he begged me not to tell anyone. But I shot him immediately, like the Colonel ordered."

Tristan's face is as hard as stone, but I could see his eyes glimmer. "Were you scared?"

He nodded, then he said. "Yes. But I wasn't sorry. If we had followed the Colonel's orders earlier, a lot of us wouldn't need to die."

Then Tristan started to tell me how he survived the early days. When HRN0 started in India, the infection took weeks to show symptoms. But every time they treat it with antibiotics, the virus evolve. By the time it became HRN7, no one knew it would spread so fast. The Colonel gave a chilling command to shoot anyone suspected of infection on sight, civilian or soldiers. Tristan didn't know for sure if the people he shot were already infected or bitten. It's so hard to tell with all the blood everywhere. Few seconds of hesitation is all it takes for another one to get killed. Many died on the first day but at least half of them survived.

"It's not your fault, Trist."

I put my arm on his. He sighed.

"It is. I can still see the look on their faces."

From three thousand soldiers to less than a hundred of them. Many died to the infection, but many more died of starvation, sickness and people turning against each other. Food got robbed, women got raped, the Colonel took drastic measures to maintain order. Tristan said at first he tried to set down laws and imposed harsh punishments. But when so many of his men broke the law he set, the Colonel had no choice but to yield to the new brutality. He would risk a mutiny if he executes too many of them. It took them some time to figure out how to keep things from falling apart.

Over time, they learnt how to survive. The infected tied to the poles outside the field acts like some kind of charm to keep the others off. They have some kind of hive mind and they communicate to each other through groans like how wolves would howl. When the infected outside comes near and find the ones here hibernating, they would wander off and lose interest in this place. They also found that the infected are like wolves, they can sense if you are infected through your scent. That's why they powder themselves when they go on supply runs. The chemical in the army powder confuses the infected. But the infected were only the beginning of the problem.

In fact, the riots killed most of them instead of the infected.

The bankers, the lawyers, the elites of the old world expected the soldiers to protect and feed them. Their sense of entitlement did not change even though money, status and connections meant nothing now. They demanded privileges and protection, some even claimed to have direct access to the President. Meanwhile, many of the soldiers lost their wives, their family and even their will to live. Tensions were high and there are often clashes between groups.

At first, a rumour circulated that the President no longer issued orders, and the army is now rogue. People start to question authorities and take things into their own hands. When rumours started that there will be an air evacuation only for the soldiers, things got violent. Many people left, causing the infection to turn their attention towards the school. As a result, not many made it alive or survive for long out there.

As the days gone by, supply runs had to venture further and further as the immediate areas had been cleaned out. Food and morale is running low. For that reason, the Colonel set up a system to maintain law and order.

"Everyone has a job here. You do your job, you get points to exchange for food, for medicine, for weapons and protection." Tristan said as he gets dressed for sentry duties.

I shuddered when I remembered what my job was; I'm going to be their sex toy. The idea of prostituting myself to a horde of strangers terrified me. Suddenly, I don't feel so gay anymore.

"Don't look so scared." He slung an arm around me as we walked out to the corridors. Many soldiers stared at us as we walked past. "Most of those rednecks had wife and children. They'd rather be caught dead than to be called gay."

I wanted to believe that, but the way they looked was scary. "They looked at me like I'm a piece of meat."

Tristan whispered. "They're just curious. It doesn't mean they would actually spend points on you. Most of us would rather spend it on a warm meal or medicines. Or even Martha, at least she got boobs."

I elbowed Tristan. He flinched and rubbed his ribs. "What? You want your ass drilled?"

"What am I going to eat then?"

"Don't worry, I'll spend points on you. I'll take on more missions and sentries to make up for it."

My brother look at me gently, his cherubic face is now gaunt and chiselled. He barely had enough to eat himself. "Trist… I don't know what to say."

"Don't be an idiot. You're my brother. We'll make it Dan. Somehow."

My brother flashed his impish smile, trying to cheer me up with a flick on my chin. Then he adds, "Besides, I get to call you my bitch."

And we chuckled.

From what Tristan told me, the camp runs on some kind of barter system. For now, I'll have to live off my brother's charity but he hardly gets enough to eat as it is. Perhaps if I can convince them to let me farm Algae, there must be other ways that I can contribute.

Even with Tristan next to me, the soldiers would wolf whistles, jeers, or make some lewd remarks. I don't feel very safe being alone. One of the soldier kept looking at me. It's the blond guy with the buzz cut who spoke up for me to stay. He looks like he's in his early or mid twenties, a typical marine jarhead who had seen too many deaths. But there's a certain kindness in his eyes that sets him apart from the rest.

"Who is he?" I asked Tristan.

"That's Grey. He's a decent man. Had a young wife in the city, she almost made it here too."

"That's sad."

"I'm not too sure about that. She probably would've been raped or forced to whore herself if she did."

"Better than being dead?"

Tristan looked at me with grave eyes, "I sleep in the far end because I don't wanna hear the women scream, Dan. Imagine listening to your wife scream ever night."

I feel sorry for that man, so I smiled at him.

"Stop flirting if you still want your ass."

"I'm not!" I retorted. But when I looked at Tristan's face, I realise he's not joking with me. "I thought you said he's a decent guy."

"That doesn't mean he's not horny. Just… stay low okay? Don't go around batting your pretty eyes."

"O-Okay."

From afar, I caught Mark staring at us, his face a mix of grimace and anger. He's with a group of men, led by a soldier and seemingly on their way to some kind of construction job. Mark shot a hostile glare at Tristan and he looks like he's about to call me out, but the soldier barked at him to keep in line. I waved at him and tried to signal to him that I'm okay.

After we passed by the school hall, Tristan brought me to the old green house where my 'team leader' Martha is. Despite being slightly older than mom, she still looks kind of pretty, in a very neighbourly way. Her smile is warm and friendly, she reminds me of an ordinary housewife. I can't imagine her sleeping with the soldiers who are almost half her age. The other lady was indifferent to my presence. She took a quick glance at me and shook her head. She seemed a little younger, but not much. Her frizzled ginger hair is tied up in a bun as she trims the plants and vegetables.

"See you later honey." Tristan smiled and kissed my cheek. I couldn't hide the annoyance in my face as I wipe off his saliva. Martha looked at me with pity in her smile.

"You'll get used to it, boy. Just don't think about it."

She mistook my annoyance for disgust.

I nodded quietly as I realised Tristan didn't do it to tease me, but to keep up with appearances. As Martha showed me how to trim the dead leaves from the plants, she also told me about the Colonel's strict policies about dependencies. No one is to offer or ask for charity. Everyone needs to pull their own weight if the group is to survive. I made a mental note not to tell anyone about the mouldy bread I took from Tristan earlier.

For some time, the three of us worked quietly in the green room. They've grown some tomatoes, potatoes and some other fruits and vegetables. The whole room is only the size of our garage and the space was poorly utilised. Even though the ladies were showing me the ropes, I am already quite familiar with gardening basics. But I kept quiet and do my job as they told me.

The air is hot and heavy in the green room. Silence hung in the sleepy afternoon, punctuated by our laboured shallow breaths, Finally, Martha breaks the spell with a sigh.

"I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend."

I looked at her. She meant Felicia. "I'm sorry too. She don't deserve this."

"I knew her fate when I saw her passing down the corridor. They won't let her go, we would need children to survive. Grace and I can't bear anymore children."

Despite her friendliness, I felt uneasy around Martha. There are so many things I wanted to ask but I was too embarrassed. How is it like being with the soldiers? Are they nice? Are they like animals? Does it hurt? How many times do they have to do it in a day? How much do they get to eat in return. It feels like I'm asking mom about her sex life.

I also wanted to ask why they had to tend to the green house, after all that isn't their main job. But the question must be apparent on my face because Martha eventually answered it for me,

"The soldiers are getting tired of us. And the other men can't really afford the spare points. We had to do other things to eat."

"Why can't you just work on the greenhouse?" I asked. My question was innocent but the lady behind was upset. She threw down her scissors and snapped,

"You think we enjoy whoring ourselves?"

"Calm down Grace, you're scaring the boy." Martha said to her as she waters the plants. Then she turns to me and explained, "For every amount of food we turn in, we get only a quarter of the points in value. Like this potato will cost two hundred to buy but we turn it in for only fifty points. And you can see the greenhouse don't yield very much crops."

"Why can't you keep some of the food yourself?" I asked. Martha and Grace's eyes grew wide as she speaks in hushed tone.

"Don't even think about stealing! You saw the infected on the field? That's what happen to you!"

I gulped. Killing people is one thing, but letting turn into an infected is plain cruel. "Those chained outside… They were your people?"

Martha kept quiet but Grace spoke. "They deserved it. My son starved to death because those people hoard food for themselves."

I look around the greenhouse and noticed that most of the plants are not thriving. The vegetables and fruits are not right for the season and they require good composte to grow. I have a feeling they just grew whatever that was available in the greenroom. There are also limited spaces pots and soil to grow them. Instead, they could use hydroponic growing system to maximise space and fertility. These people obviously know nothing about farming. If I have my way with the green house, I might grow enough crops to keep us all fed.

"What if I can double or triple the yield? I won't need to let the soldiers fuck me any more?" I asked.

Grace shook her head and said, "It's your main duty. You can't say no. That's how the system works, everyone do their part to survive. Unless your lover boy is willing to spend a thousand points every night to keep you for himself."

"She's right you know. Besides, you get a hundred points to sell yourself for an hour, much more than what you would have gotten here for working the whole day."

I was taken aback by how brutal the way things are run here. No wonder dad says anyone who wears an uniform should never run a government. Didn't anyone learn from the mess which the warlords had made in Africa?

"How much do you make a day?" I asked.

"Five or six hundred points maybe." Martha said.

"How much do I pay to eat?"

"Four hundred, if you want a decent meal. Depends on what's available, the price changes everyday. Plus you need to pay two hundred points flat per day for protection."

"What? That's extortion!"

"Would you rather take on supply runs and patrol duties instead? You'll be the first to die."

Most people here have about one meal a day. Even though the soldiers earn more from doing high risk jobs would probably get around a thousand five or so per day. At the rate Tristan had to pay every night to keep me safe, he would starve to death in no time. Besides, someone would get suspicious if I spend every night at my brother's quarters. I must think of something to get us out of this situation.

"It's not that bad, really. Most of them are just lonely and want someone to comfort them. They won't humiliate you or anything." Martha said while plucking the fruits into the basket.

We spend the entire afternoon working in the greenhouse. Later in the evening, I went to see the quartermaster with Martha to deposit our paltry harvest for the day. The camp store is pretty big; it takes up the whole staff lounge, but not everything is for sale. More importantly, food and medical supplies only takes up a small corner. She suggests that I get some blankets and clothes because the weather is turning cold soon.

I glanced around the place and find that my old stuff are up for sale, the seeds, the algae jar, even my books. Apparently, not many people want them because they are sold dirt cheap. They don't cost more than two hundred points in total. I struggled for a while to decide between getting them back or for that packet of chips that cost three hundred points. I'm sure Tristan and I can starve for a while. We can leave this place as soon as we stock up enough supplies to travel.

"Are you mad? Why do you waste your points on moss and books?" Martha yelped.

"It's not moss, it's spirulina." I don't know why I bother to explain. Most people don't know the difference anyway. "It's a highly nutritious form of algae."

She sighed and shook her head, but she let the quartermaster deduct my points anyway. Behind me, I heard a familiar voice called my name. I turned around.

"Mark!"

I went up and gave him a hug. Then, I realised he had a bruised eye and a swollen lip. "Oh God, are you hurt?

"I'm fine. Are you.. all right?"

Mark look at me with a strange expression on his face. He looks as if I have changed into a different person and he doesn't know how to react around me. I wondered why the sudden awkwardness came up overnight.

Before I could say anything, Martha chipped in, "The boy is a brave one. He took it well."

Grace walked past us and said sarcastically, "In the ass."

My face turned hot immediately by her comment. Mark looked at me with a strange, embarrassed expression, as if I'm walking around naked. He looked away when he said to me,

"We're sharing a room down the classroom corridor. Jody is next to us. We'll talk on the way."

I parted ways with Martha and followed Mark back to our room. We are assigned to a small classroom at the end of the corridor, overlooking the field and the chained infected. It wasn't the most scenic spot.

The class room itself is bare. The tables and chairs are used to barricade one of the staircase from the front entrance. Mark had exchanged his points for some basic supplies like blankets and dried nuts. The army rations he brought are considered luxury items that only the soldiers can afford. The moment we are alone and out of hearing range, Mark grabbed and hugged me tight.

"I'm so sorry Dan…"

His voice muffled as he buried his face into my neck. It didn't take him long for him to get all choked up.

"It's my fault Mark, I chose to come here."

I wanted to tell him Felicia didn't die because of him. But then I realised Mark was upset for another reason.

"I'll kill those bastards who touched you. I'll get us out of here as soon as we can. I'll find a way, I swear." Mark looked around and spoke quietly.

I was confused for a moment, then I realised Mark didn't know Tristan is my brother. Even though I mentioned his name, he never knew how he actually looked it. He thought I spent the last night having sex with him. Before I can explain, Mark said,

"Did he hurt you? Do you want to talk about it? I was so worried I can't sleep."

His brows are creased but he can't look me in the eye when he asked. I chuckled. He is actually embarrassed by the thought of it.

"Nothing happened, Mark. Tristan is my brother. He kept me safe from others."

He was stunned momentarily and then a huge smile of relief broke on to his face. "W-What? Jeez, that's right. You told me his name before. How can I forget?"

"Anyway, thanks. I didn't know you would care this much." I smiled sheepishly. Is Mark jealous? Is that why he was upset? I almost blush until he said,

"Of course I cared! I can't imagine the humiliation. I mean, letting your ass get fucked by another dude? Who can live with that?"

My heart sank.

A gay guy? I wanted to say to him. But even then, I know deep down what he said is true. Gay or not, it would be a big humiliation for me to be used like a cum rag. But I was upset for another reason.

For a moment, I thought it bothered him because he liked me. But from the outrage on his face, I wondered if it was because he felt offended by the idea.

"What is it Daniel? Did I say something wrong? You look upset."

"I… um… Never mind." I sighed. "Thanks for caring anyway. I appreciated it."

"Of course I cared man. You're my best little bud."

He slung his arm around me and asked what I planned to do. I told him I honestly don't know. For now, Tristan would keep me safe as much as his points allow. We'll have to take one step at a time. Worse come to worse, I'll just let them fuck me.

"Maybe it's not bad like Martha said. Some of the soldiers are pretty hot."

I cast a glance at Mark to see his reaction. His face was frozen for a minute and his lips slightly parted. Before he could say anything, a knock came on our doors.

"It must be Tristan."

But it wasn't.

"Hi,"

The blond marine stood at my door. He flashes a brief awkward smile and looks away, rubbing his nose and then as if he almost forgot, extends a tentative hand to shake mine,

"I'm Greyson. They call me Grey around here."

Even though he's way taller than me, the young soldier fidgets like he's intimidated.

But I was totally petrified.

Mark stood up and walked closer behind me. Grey didn't pay him any attention. Instead, he swallowed and took a deep breath,

"A-Are you free tonight?"

He is asking me politely, but the nervous tone of his voice makes me even more nervous. I don't have a good feeling about this.

"I'm… sorry. I'm taken. Tristan, he's erm… had a reservation?"

Seriously? Reservation? I could have come up with something better, I sound like a restaurant.

Tristan said Grey had a young wife, and he looks like the kind of guys whom girls would bring home to their parents. Plus, he's a decent guy. I'm probably mistaking his intent. Maybe he's inviting me to a welcome party?

"Tristan's shift isn't over until eight. We have an hour. I won't take long."

My knees are practically going limp.

Before I can protest, he takes my hand and led me out of the room. I turned my head and saw Mark coming out from the door and grabbed my other hand.

"Wait!"

And I got caught in a tug of war between the two of them.