What We Knew - 1. Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE

I fumbled for my phone during the morning when the sun was clearly invisible. I never usually get woken up by my alarm. Sunlight usually bursts through my window enough for me to wake up naturally. But these days, the rain had been relentless and I set up an alarm for 7:30 the night before just in case.

It was good to know that alarms still worked for me. On most days I usually have a normal sleep cycle, but these days have been far too busy for me to even warrant a full night's rest. The weather was perfect for sleeping-in, but I couldn't risk being late for my class so I preemptively got my alarm going.

I hastily prepared all of my stuff, had some breakfast (which consisted of slightly burnt toast and a can of Starbucks Iced Coffee) and showered. The whole process took me about 20 minutes, which game me enough time to catch the bus.

I had a test coming up. That's why I was trying my best to hurry up as fast as I can. I was up all night studying, which proved to be a futile attempt, since I had spent the last couple of nights writing the preliminary parts of my undergrad paper and studying for other tests. This week had been hell, but this was the last exam I had for the week, which means I could finally have some rest for the weekend.

I sat down near the back. It was quieter and less crowded on the corner. I proceeded to cram for the test, hoping that all the stuff I studied last night would still be useful to me later.

"Opportunity cost," I mumbled, trying to get the term in my head.

Opportunity cost meant the benefit of something that you forgo to get something else. For example, the opportunity cost of those endless nights doing schoolwork was a whole week of not being able to binge-watch Game of Thrones or go out. I sneered at my realization. At least this type of ironic idea-bouncing would probably help me remember all of this crap.

The bus was almost empty, except for a few seats filled by some passengers. I noticed some of them were poring at textbooks as well. At least some people shared my demise at the moment.

I skimmed through a few pages, going through the terms that i scribbled the night before, trying my hardest not to peer out the window. I space out a lot, and quite easily - especially while travelling. I like looking at passing trees and random people going about their business. This wasn't the right time for that. So I put my head down and continued to study, feeling the scenery blur as the bus sped up to the next stop.

Several people came in the bus. They were a bunch of boisterous teenagers talking about 'how they pranked their friends so hard'. Their loudness was quite distracting, so I decided to stop studying. I studied enough the night before anyway, and I trusted my brain's ability to remember stuff. I gave in to my impulses and starting spacing out the window.

The passing scenery looked really good to me. The slight fog that was hovering over the suburbs looked beautiful and the drizzle that had started this morning decorated the streets with an almost glittery and ethereal feel. If not for the bad cabin fever that this type of weather gave me, I'd most probably get used to this.

"If only there was someone I could cuddle with, then this weather would be perfect." I mumbled unintelligibly, hoping maybe that half whisper would materialize into something...palpable.

If you must know, I absolutely do not believe in fate or destiny. I believe in cause and effect, and that all that want to happen you must work hard to achieve. Although I could get where this kind of thinking comes from, because it’s tempting to think that some things could fall in to place, like the trappings of some omnipotent force in the universe. But some things happen in the most unpredictable of ways.

And just like that, as the bus stopped to let one passenger in, I was smitten.

A guy stood at the bus stop. He looked my age. His face told me that he was quite stressed - both from schoolwork and the cold, I guessed. Despite that, I couldn't stop myself from staring at him.

He was beautiful.

He hopped in the bus, rubbing his hands to spread the heat between his fingers. His hair was unkempt, and his eyes glowed even in the grey weather. He slouched as he slowly walked and found a seat near my corner on the left side of the bus.

He sat on the second seat and not by the window. I was almost adjacent to him, which means I could see his profile without being seen.

He was one of the prettiest guys I’ve ever seen.

He tousled his hair and put his hands in his jacket's pocket. I could see him trying to feign sleep. The kids by the front row were still talking loudly, but even that became a blur from my senses. I could not stop staring at this guy.

I have been in this situation before. I like to imagine myself falling in love in the most mundane of situations. I have ogled at guys one too many times on the bus, sometimes a bit inappropriately. Sometimes advances were given and shown, but I was too much of a wuss to do anything concrete or to actually start a conversation.

But how I felt about this guy was totally different. A force drove me towards him that I have never felt before. And no, this was not my hormones talking. I can tell the difference. It was pulling at me from the inside, compelling me to feel the static in the air disturbed by the tangibility of his presence.

He shifted his position in his seat that in some way caused him to turn, catching me off guard, face flushed by looking at him for quite some time. I jerked myself out of embarrassment and set my eyes back at my notes, refusing to look back in humiliation.

I turned my head in his direction to see if he has turned back to the front. I slowly raised my head from looking down, trying to feign indifference; like I wasn’t embarrassed by the moment’s eye contact (and woefully hoping that he’d have forgotten about me awkwardly staring at him). Just as I was searching for his profile, I noticed that he was still looking in my direction.

Our eyes met for a brief moment. And then he smiled.

As I sat there fumbling, he was starting to get up and head for the exit. Some of the other passengers were trying to get out of the bus as well.

It was then that I realized that I was at my stop, and that I had arrived at school.

My face burned red at the thought of what just happened, and at how I would handle the embarrassment that was waiting for me as I was going down the bus.