Waiting - 1. Story

Waiting

By: Kanaye

Jared watched as his boyfriend downed the fifth beer then looked down at his own beer he had been nursing for the past 2 hours.

Waiting. He just had to wait. If Tane was anything like Barry, by the seventh beer he’d be mostly gone, by the tenth he’d be out.

God I hope he drinks 10.

Today was Jared’s 24^th birthday and he could still remember the horror that was his last birthday. He looked at Tane. I knew it was only a matter of time before his nice guy mask cracked and tonight it’s finally happening.

I can’t believe I did it again. Why can’t I pick a good guy for once?

Tane raised his hand and the waitress brought him another beer. Jared watched as Tane swung the beer in his direction..

“Happy Birthday, to my Jared! I hope you had a good one!” Tane said before he drank a third of the beer.

Not half the bottle this time. He’s slowing down. This isn’t good.

Tane shuddered but managed to smile at his boyfriend and taking yet another tiny sip of his own. He’s just like Barry. Barry was so sweet at first too. Why did I do this to myself?

Last year, Barry, his previous boyfriend of 5 months had often given him small, joking smacks when sober and full out beatings when he was drunk. Jared rubbed a scar on his arm. That was from the time Barry had come at him with a switchblade, stabbing him in the arm twice before Barry fell and passed out.

When he went to go stitched up, he told the doctor he had fallen. That always embarrassed him, the excuses as if he was some battered wife. He had various other scars on his body, all from drunk Barry encounters.

It had taken Jared’s birthday for Jared to finally press charges. Jared shuddered again, a full body shudder and Tane noticed. “Cold, babe?” Tane made to take off his jacket but Jared stopped him. What would happen if Tane got outside, realized it was cold and blamed me for stealing his coat?

“I’m fine. I’m okay.” he smiled at Tane. “Why don’t we get you another beer?”

“Nah, I think six will be my limit tonight. Have to be able to take you home and give you your birthday gift.” Tane said, leering at him then laughing. “How about I finish this, and then we head home, eh?”

Jared nodded. “Sure. Sounds good.” He went back to nursing his beer and getting lost in his thoughts. I knew Tane was too good to be true and yet, like an idiot, I stayed with him. Just like Barry.

On Jared’s last birthday, Barry and Jared had gone out to a bar much like this one. Barry had about seven or eight beers, and getting louder and more obnoxious with each one. Finally they were asked to leave.

Barry had been much bigger than Jared’s 5’9, 140lbs, but he managed to half carry Barry to the car. He had opened the passenger side door and started to help Barry sit.

“What the fuck are you doing, pussy boy? I’m the driver!” Barry started fighting him.

“You’re drunk Barry. I just don’t want you pulled-”

“Are you sayin I can’t drive my own car?”

“Of course n-” At this Barry punched Jared hard in the face. Jared went down and Barry kicked him twice in the stomach.

The fact that Jared had decided to stay down may or may not have saved his life. The doctors said Jared would have most likely died if he had been standing or running when Barry had… had…

“Dammit!”

Tane looked up at him, startled. “Jared?”

Jared waved him off and didn’t notice Tane watching him closely.

Had run him over with the car. Jared let out a breath.

Barry had gotten in the driver’s seat, the passenger door still open, and had started the car.

Jared, remembered thinking, Thank god. Hopefully he’ll crash and kill himself on the way home.

Then the lights came at him. To this day he still couldn’t remember exactly what happened next. According to the police who had come to see him in the hospital, Barry ran him over with the front tires, and had been planning to back up and run over him again when another customer pulled Barry from the car and hit him over the head with an empty beer bottle, knocking him out.

It took months to heal, and now I’m with another drunk. How could I do it?

He just needed to wait. Tane was just like Barry. Barry had been funny and kind up until their 3^rd month anniversary when Jared didn’t buy Barry a gift. Jared had gotten his first beating then. After, as Jared lay curled up on the bed crying, Barry came and held, him apologizing. “You shouldn’t have made me mad. This was your fault.” Jared had believed him.

In the 6 months he had been dating Tane, the guy had been sweet. Even though he obviously wanted to, he never asked Jared about the scars. Tane had never drank more than one beer while with Jared. He never got physical with Jared either. A few shouting matches, but no blows. I knew it was only a matter of time.

He just had to wait. The first time Tane hit him, Jared would fight back, would make sure Tane was down for the count. And Jared would press charges. He would never be in a relationship with another Barry. Never.

Tane watched his boyfriend curiously, carefully. Something was going on, and he didn’t know what. He’d figured Jared would want to celebrate his birthday and he had gotten half cocked before he realized Jared wasn’t having fun.

I think he’s still working on his first beer. Something has to be wrong. Why won’t he talk to me?

He tried again. “Are you ok, Jared?” And once again Jared waved a hand at him, not saying anything.

Tane got up and just stood there for a moment, waiting for the beer to rush to his head, before walking to the bar and paying their bill.

Tane turned around and started back for the table, watching his boyfriend closely. When he stood behind him, he could hear Jared muttering. “Never. Never again.”

Deciding now wasn’t the time to surprise Jared from behind, he walked back to his seat and sat.

“Jared?” This time he got a response.

Jared looked up and he smiled, if a bit weakly. “Yeah?”

“You wanna go home now? Or you wanna finish that?” Tane nodded to Jared’s mostly empty beer.

“No. I’m good.”

Tane nodded, stood up and held his hand out for Jared’s. Jared took it, a bit reluctantly and Tane thought he understood.

“You think I’m gunna drive like this don’t you?”

Jared’s eyes snapped to his. “You’re not?”

“Of course not! I though you were plannin’ on being the Designated Driver tonight, so I let loose. Damn.” he took his hand from Jared’s and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend.

When they reached the car, Jared made to open the passenger door for Tane, but Tane’s free hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. When Tane looked at Jared he finally saw what Jared had been hiding all night. Fear.

Tane was so surprised he almost took a step back. He’s afraid of me.

Tane took his arm from behind Jared and gently pushed him against the truck. Then he leaned forward and kissed him, gentle and slow, for a long moment.

When he pulled away he saw the fear had only dimmed a bit in Jared’s eyes and Tane sighed. He leaned his head down and onto Jared’s shoulder.

“Do you trust me, Jared?”

Jared made some non-commital noise and Tane stood back up and took Jared’s hands in his.

“I know you went through hell with your other boyfriend.”

At Jared’s denial, Tane pushed the sleeve up on his left arm and stroked the scar there. “I never asked about them. I knew you wouldn’t or couldn’t talk about them. I never asked, but I promise you. I promise you, I will never hurt you. Not like that. I am not perfect, and one day I may break your heart, but I promise, it wont be deliberately and I will never hurt you like this.”

His thumb stroked the scar again. “The guy who did this to you must have been a monster. The fact that you think I could be such a monster too?” Tane’s voice hitched for a moment and he paused to control himself. “I am not a monster. I promise you.”

Tane leaned forward, still stroking the scar and kissed Jared again, if only briefly. When he pulled away, he smiled at Jared.

Jared stood there for a moment, staring at his boyfriend, his lover, his partner. Tane understood. Jared didn’t know how Tane understood but he did.

Jared’s hand rose on its own accord and his hand brushed Tane’s face gently. “Thank you.”

Tane nodded. “Can we go home now?” he held the keys out to Jared. “I still owe you your birthday gift.”

“I would like that.”

Jarred once again made to open the passenger side door and Tane got in, smiling at him.

“Thanks”

After Jared had closed the truck door and was walking around to the driver’s side he thought, I never thought I’d find a good guy. Now that I have, I’m not giving him up. Ever.

The End.

© 2010 Kanaye

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