Deluge on Kingsman Bluff - 1. Deluge on Kingsman Bluff

Casey slept fitfully as the rain started to fall on his oversized yellow house. The raindrops starting out as gentle kisses dropping erratically from the starry sky above, and as his dreams caused him to toss and turn, so did the sky churn with dark clouds. The wind, which had just hours earlier been a comforting gust, a caressing breeze, was now determinedly blowing; the draft through his partly open window caused Casey to huddle down even further into the warmth of his bed as he fought with himself to calm down enough to sleep soundly. It seemed his mood, like the weather, had come on quickly and indomitable.

Perhaps the rain could be cleansing and wash away the anger, make everything fresh and clear again for Casey, rejuvenate him, much like it would the earth it fell on. Maybe he would wake in the morning and not feel so weighed down, as if he were wearing rain drenched clothes, by the expectations he set for himself. Taking on someone else’s dreams and making them your own is hard enough, even when you know exactly what they are, but that didn’t make it any easier for Casey when it came to realizing his own. He didn’t think of his father’s dreams as a burden or too much to carry, they were something he had grown to want for himself, even if he had been given little choice about it when the time came for him to step up.

The rain fell harder, the packed dirt soaking it up and darkening with the moisture, and Casey, who normally was comforted by the pitter-patter on his roof, instead roused from the light sleep he had been able to manage. He looked over and realized that he had left his window open and he grumbled to himself before deciding he wasn’t going to get any sleep at this rate. He forced himself from the warmth of his bed long enough to cross the room and close the window.

The moon was full and large; light gray and creamy as it hung in the dark sky over Kingsman Bluff. Sometimes, at night, when he knew everyone was asleep, Casey would look out his window at the moon and the stars, wondering what the next day would hold for him, wondering if his dad would be proud of him and what he had become, all that he had accomplished. Casey never told anyone that he wasn’t entirely sure of that himself, he just worked away, day after day doing the best he could, and then, when it was safe, he let himself think about it, think about what would make him happy, too. Casey lingered at the window a minute more, his eyes settling on the bunkhouse momentarily, where Will and Tracey were likely sleeping, comfortable and warm, before the chill in the air prodded him back to the warmth of his bed.

His ceiling didn’t offer any more answers than the moon seemed to, nor did his ceiling allow him to see the stars he usually looked upon when he needed to think things through, but at least in his bed, he was warm. Warm, and alone with his thoughts, not that he could get those straightened out into any semblance of order either. Deciding that if he could perhaps shove his thoughts aside for the night he might be more successful, Casey tried to compartmentalize the things that were swirling around in his mind, much like the clouds outside his window, as he wriggled further down into the warmth of his bed.

Order, Casey preferred it over chaos. Being able to know just where something was, or where someone would be at any given time over spontaneity provided him with some sense of clarity or control. At least that way, things didn’t sneak up on him and turn his world upside down; feelings didn’t creep up out of nowhere and leave him unprotected, vulnerable, and unfocused. Casey tried to sort through his thoughts, neatly arranging them in his mind; what he had to do on Kingsman Bluff tomorrow, his vehemence toward the idea that Tracey was staying there for some undetermined amount of time, what Will had said to him on the porch a few hours earlier, the fact that Caty would be alone with Tracey tomorrow, all of these linked in some way and, by default, making it much more difficult for him to make sense of anything.

Tracey. It seemed to Casey, that he was at the heart of all of the things rushing around in his head. Casey knew he needed to figure out some way to make it past the anger he was feeling toward the blond haired guy who had somehow managed to become the one thing he hadn’t figured on, didn’t know how to deal with. Tracey was one of those unpredictable things that scared Casey, he was a perfect example of something uncontrollable that could turn his life into a calamity with very little effort and curious green eyes. Casey sighed as he turned onto his side, punching down the feathers in his pillow into some more preferable shape before dropping his head down onto it once more.

If Casey was being honest with himself, he would say that there was something more to his resentment toward Tracey than just the damage his reckless and selfish, damn it, downright dangerous behavior had caused. He wouldn’t though. He wasn’t about to say anything nice about that insensible, careless, underhanded, lower than low, tall, blond guy with manners that would make even his mama proud. Nope, that was definitely not gonna happen.

At some point either frustration or exhaustion took over, and Casey drifted off once more, this time his thoughts much different than the churning frustrations he had before. No, this time there was a different kind of heat and fire in his thoughts, and even if they didn’t seem that they would provide any comfort, they did provide Casey with a different kind of relief that left him hungry for something tangible. The thing that confused him even more was the face in his dreams, Tracey’s face, and as much as it annoyed and disturbed him that he would be dreaming about Tracey, he couldn’t seem to shake the satisfactory feeling he woke with.

Will tapped his boot against the bedpost in an effort to wake Tracey. It was clear to him that the newcomer wasn’t accustomed to such early mornings or the day to day life on a ranch, and in an attempt to keep Casey from having one more thing to complain about in regards to Tracey, Will figured he could at least get the guy to breakfast on time. Besides, he didn’t need Janie mad at him two days in a row; a man could go hungry like that. Furthermore, there wasn’t a breakfast Janie made that Will loved more than her biscuits with sausage gravy, and if he was right, that’s what she would be serving this morning, using the leftover biscuits from last night’s dinner.

Tracey, who was enjoying his first night of real, uninterrupted rest in days bolted up with a shot when he heard the sound of Will’s boot knocking. Side effects of being in the lock-up all weekend, between the lumpy, almost nonexistent mattress, and having to share a cell with that crazy old man with the handlebar moustache who muttered to himself, and by the time Tracey figured out what he was saying, he’d wished he hadn’t, Tracey was grateful for the comfortable bed and the warm blankets. Spooked, and trying to get his bearings before he remembered where he was and who was looking down at him, Tracey face was a mix of confusion and fear. Finally secure in the fact that he wasn’t in any danger, Tracey groaned as he flopped back against the bed tossing his arm over his face.

“Mornin’ tenderfoot,” Will said teasingly. “How’d ya sleep?”

In response Tracey groaned out, “What time is it?”

Will chuckled, remembering how big of a change the mornings were for him when he first arrived on Kingsman Bluff, before he answered, “Almost six.”

“A.M.?” Tracey asked in disbelief.

His indignant response only provoked Will to laugh out loud. “Well, I ain’t wakin’ ya for dinner, that’s for sure.”

“Then why are you waking me up?” Tracey asked in a far grumpier tone than Will deserved. He immediately regretted it and made an effort to show he didn’t mean it as it had sounded by sitting up and adding a small smile for just a second before yawning.

“I’m hungry,” Will shrugged. “And if you don’t get up and come to breakfast, Janie’ll just send me back in here to fetch you anyway. Besides, crossing that woman two days in a row ain’t a good way to get into her good graces, and I don’t particularly like being hungry so, come on.”

“Me either,” Tracey agreed as he made an attempt to get up. “Five minutes, okay?”

Will nodded as Tracey passed him on his way to the bathroom. “I’ll just be outside.”

In less than the five minutes promised, Tracey was dressed in Will’s borrowed shirt and blue jeans from the night before, with his face washed and his hair combed, still yawning.

“Ready?” Will asked, though his eyes never left the horizon where the dark of the night sky was being chased away by the dawn.

“Yeah, thanks,” Tracey offered as he walked briskly with Will over to the main house, hunched over as if that would help him to avoid the misting falling from the sky, and hoping this meal would go much smoother than the one had the night before.

Tracey still felt uneasy about just walking into the big yellow house with the agreeable front porch, but Will held the screen door open for him leaving every indication that Tracey should follow him inside, so he did. He much preferred the reassuring look Will was trying to coax him inside with, than the look he was currently getting from Casey, who managed to pick the exact same time to come downstairs for breakfast and had landed on the second step from the bottom, his hand gripping the banister tightly.

Tracey wasn’t sure exactly what look Casey was wearing this morning, but if he had to guess, he supposed Casey wasn’t through being infuriated by his presence, even if there was something more to the sullen expression than the pure anger he wore yesterday. The three of them stood in the entryway wondering who might move first, Will’s eyes fluttering back and forth slowly between Casey’s face, and then Tracey’s, and then back again. Tracey longed for an escape from the way he could feel Casey’s eyes on him, but realizing there was none, he opted for the better part of valor.

Unfortunately, Casey was standing there feeling a bit haunted by the same eyes he had seen in his sleep, and more so by the flashes of the other things he had seen along with them, and those were what provoked him to move toward the breakfast table and on past the possibility of confrontation in favor of preserving his thoughts as his own. His frustration was apparent as he thrust his chair back from the table, the feet of the chair coming clear off the ground, before letting them connect loudly with the floor once more and then dropping into the chair with a huff. Will shrugged slightly at Tracey as he ushered him out of the doorway so he could shut the door before following Casey to the breakfast table.

“Morning, Paulette,” Tracey heard Will say as he rounded the corner into the dining room just in time to see him move past her chair, his arm sliding across her shoulders with familiarity, on his way to his own chair. Paulette nodded a greeting in return as Will asked a bit louder, “Where’s my favorite girl?”

“Right here,” Caty called out coyly as she hopped down the stairs amused with herself for being so clever. “Morning Mama,” she added as she dropped a kiss on Paulette’s cheek before she found her own seat next to her mother.

Tracey, who had been standing awkwardly in the corner, still not sure of his place yet, walked apprehensively to the one remaining empty chair and sat down again next to Caty. Timidly he said, “Good morning Paulette, Caty.” He looked in Casey’s direction as if to greet him as well, but all Tracey found was Casey daring him to say something to him, and Tracey wasn’t about to provoke the guy anymore than his mere existence already seemed to.

Tracey wasn’t sure why it surprised him when a woman of average height and beautiful red hair came bustling out of the kitchen with a platter full of scrambled eggs, and another with the famed biscuits and sausage gravy, but it did. Somehow he had it in his mind that Janie was some plump, grandmotherly type who loved to bake and had her gray hair pinned up into a bun on the top of her head, but he was rather pleased to admit that he much preferred her freckled cheeks and warm smile to the version he had imagined. She paused only long enough to set the platter of eggs in front of Will, before walking around to the other side of the table and setting down the platter of fluffy biscuits covered in the creamy, thick gravy.

“Aww, Janie,” Will whined. “Why you got to put ‘em way on the other side of the table? You know they’re my favorite,” his bottom lip threatening to push outward as he pursed them together.

“Cause if I don’t, no one else’ll get any, honey,” Janie answered, squeezing his shoulder on her way back into the kitchen for a pitcher of fresh squeezed orange juice, some milk, and a bowl of sliced up fruit.

As she was delivering the last of the food to the table Paulette said, “Janie, this is Tracey. He’ll be staying here with us until further notice, okay?” It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement, but Paulette thought of Janie as much more than hired help, she was family, they were a family there on Kingsman Bluff.

“Well, pleased to have you,” Janie said smiling before she went back into the kitchen. Tracey smiled back at her as he watched her retreat, but only till his eyes settled on Casey, and then, he wasn’t smiling anymore.

Paulette reached for the orange juice as everyone started filling their plates, graciously accepting the food as it was passed around. As hard as Paulette worked, and as clear as it was that she wasn’t afraid to dig in and get her hands dirty, she certainly had a prim and proper way about her when it came to table manners, and it seemed that whether they liked it or not, Casey and Caty had inherited those same manners, Tracey noticed, as he watched the three of them all unfold their cloth napkins and place them on their laps in synchronization. Tracey’s eyes widened momentarily, as if he was witnessing some odd sort of phenomena, but it seemed they were all too focused on their napkins to notice.

Will did, however, and laughed right out loud causing the lot of them to abruptly turn and look in his direction. “Takes some gettin’ used to, but you learn to overlook it,” he shrugged as they all gave him the same perturbed look which only started his laughing all over again.

Tracey laughed that time, too, and when all the looks fell on him, he wasn’t sure if he was acting out of line or not, but at least the small smile that was offered by Caty, and the firm, comforting grasp on his shoulder from Will helped his stomach settle down again from the knot it had quickly become. Casey didn’t smile at him though, instead looking rather speechless, he averted his eyes and picked up his fork.

It’s not that Casey was mad, at least not about the napkin thing, but it was the first time he had seen Tracey smile, and not just a courteous smile, or a half hearted one, but a genuine one that he couldn’t even try and hide and… it was beautiful. Not beautiful like his mama’s, or Caty’s, but it changed his face, made it into something Casey couldn’t overlook no matter how mad he was, or how hard he tried. More, he was frustrated because the real thing was even more tempting and powerfully appealing than the one he had dreamt of.

“So, Tracey,” Caty started, earning his attention, however reserved his actions still were. “I have a few chores to do after breakfast, but after that I’ll be leaving for town.”

“Okay, what are you gonna do in town?” Tracey asked curiously. He wasn’t sure he wanted her at his house either, especially not the way his dad would be gloating after the crap he pulled in the courtroom, but he had to go and at least get some clothes. As nice as Will was being about everything, sharing his clothes, and his living space, Tracey didn’t want to take advantage of his kindness.

“I have to pick up some supplies at the feed and I have to stop at the post office,” she started reviewing her list of things to do, and it was clear she took after Paulette in that respect. “I told Sarah I’d try and stop in and see the new litter of kittens, even if Casey thinks we don’t need any more mouths to feed,” she added in a tone that made it clear that she wasn’t quite as convinced.

“Sounds like you have a full day then,” Tracey noted. “Maybe I can help?” he suggested.

“I don’t know if I like the idea of you driving down the mountain in this rain,” Casey piped up.

“Casey, don’t be silly. I can drive just as good as you can,” Caty huffed out. Why was he always so damn overprotective? It’s no wonder Will still treated her like a baby, she thought, irritated by the whole thing. “Besides, someone’s got to take Tracey to get his stuff,” she gestured in his direction arduously. “Who’s gonna do that? You?” she suggested as if that was the most absurd thing she could imagine. Not even waiting for Casey’s reply, “No, I didn’t think so. I’m going, and that’s final,” she insisted.

Casey opened his mouth to argue, but couldn’t seem to find an acceptable rebuttal. Caty had a point, he thought, about him being in the same truck as Tracey all day, but her driving, that was another thing, and Casey didn’t have it in him to fight with her about it this morning. Instead, he used his fork to shove his scrambled eggs around his plate, trying to distract himself from the conflict inside him that he couldn’t seem to shake. Between the wreck in the barn, and Tracey showing up, and the dream, and then that smile, it was a wonder Casey could focus at all.

“Almost ready?” Will asked him, Casey having hardly eaten a thing and not even realizing it.

He was going be hungry later, he frowned. “Yeah,” Casey agreed, ready to get away from Tracey for a while if it meant he could sort his thoughts some. “Let’s go,” he suggested, setting his fork down and ever so politely wiping his mouth with his napkin, he set it down next to his plate on the table. “Excuse me, Mama.”

Paulette nodded in acknowledgement as Casey and Will both headed out for the day pulling on coats and hats in an effort to stay as dry as possible. Hopefully the rain would let up soon and make the day easier on all of them.

“I’m about ready, too,” Caty said glancing at Tracey. He didn’t seem like he was in any hurry to get anywhere, Caty thought. Not that he was dawdling, but more like he just wasn’t looking forward to the trip. “Aww, c’mon. I’m not that bad a driver,” she pouted playfully.

“I’m sure your driving is just fine,” Tracey glanced up at her and attempted a small smile, not that he was in a position to judge anyone’s driving skills at the moment.

“I’m sure it is, too,” Paulette added, “but you’ll be careful just the same,” she said in a tone that meant no response was needed; you were just to do it.

“Yes, Mama, I’ll be careful,” Caty smiled placing her napkin on the table in the same fashion Casey had. “Meet you at the truck in five minutes,” she told Tracey. “Excuse me.”

When Caty was safely up the stairs, Paulette spoke. “You gonna be alright today?” she asked Tracey, having witnessed first hand just how obnoxious and selfish Tracey’s father could be. The man’s attitude toward his son was enough to make Paulette so mad she could spit nails, but worse, it hurt her down to the core of her being, to know that her Hank was gone, while men like Mr. Marshall took every day for granted.

Tracey shrugged, not like he had much of a choice in the matter. He had to go get his clothes and a few things he might want during his, what looked to be, rather extended stay on Kingsman Bluff, and, more than likely, if Tracey knew his dad, he’d be there just to rub it in some more. Tracey didn’t like talking about his dad, or the reasons why he had gotten so far off track lately, but Paulette had seen it with her own eyes, so there was no use in trying to pretend with her. “Guess we’ll see, won’t we,” he said as he started to get up from the table.

Paulette grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. “Just remember, you’ll be back here with us in no time, and if I’m right, I think Janie’s making fried chicken and macaroni and cheese tonight,” she winked and Tracey wondered if they always equated food with happiness, and it was great food, too.

Caty backed the old, beat up, blue pick-up truck up and parked near the door to Emerson Feed and Supply. “You sure you don’t want me to drive you over? It is raining after all,” she offered once more.

Tracey shook his head, he’d rather walk in the rain and get soaked, than take Caty home where his dad was. “I’ll be fine, thanks though,” he said. “I’ll just meet you back here in a couple hours if that’s okay,” he suggested.

“Sure, if that’s what you want,” she relented. “See you in a while then,” she said as she walked into the supply store.

Casey had borrowed an old coat from Will as well, and buttoned it up before he flipped the collar up. He hunched down into it to keep warm as he shoved his hands in the pockets and tried to decide which was worse; getting home quicker and drier, or stalling and getting soaked. It didn’t matter much either way, Tracey figured, ‘cause he still had to go sometime. May as well get it over with, and, he couldn’t believe it as the thought entered his mind but, back to Kingsman Bluff.

Caty had picked up the supplies they needed, and they were safely in the bed of the truck and covered by an old tarp to keep them dry. She drove over to Doc Hudson’s office and found her friend Sarah. Sarah was working for her dad over the summer; just like she had since she was about eight or nine years old. She started out feeding the animals and had gradually learned more and more until now, she could even help her dad with the procedures he did on some of the animals.

They had a stray cat that had shown up one day and then, never left. She had given birth to a litter of six gray and white kittens, and Sarah was doing her darnedest to find them good homes, and even though Caty said she couldn’t take one, she always liked seeing Caty, so Sarah was glad when she saw the blue truck pull into the parking lot of the town veterinarian’s office. Sarah had heard all about the accident on Kingsman Bluff, but this was the first time she would have a chance to talk to Caty and find out what had really happened.

The two girls drove over to Maxwell’s Diner and over a cup of hot chocolate, Sarah heard all about the trial and how Tracey Marshall had been ordered by the judge to stay on Kingsman Bluff until he had repaired everything he damaged. She listened while Caty told her how riled up Casey was about the whole thing, and how Will seemed to be getting along okay with Tracey. That didn’t surprise Sarah any though, Will seemed to get on just fine with almost everyone, nor was she at all surprised when Caty’s eyes lit up the moment his name was mentioned.

Caty finally dropped Sarah off back at Doc Hudson’s office an hour and a half later, before driving the few minutes back to the supply store where she was supposed to meet Tracey. He wasn’t there yet waiting for her, so Caty sat in the truck, opting to stay dry, as she read a magazine she had picked up, figuring Tracey would be along any minute. Forty-five minutes later, when Caty had read the magazine cover to cover, and Tracey still hadn’t shown up, she started to worry. She climbed out of the old, blue pick-up and went inside to check if he had left word for her or if anyone had seen him. No one had, and there was no message left for her either, and Caty was beginning to wonder what she should do. Sam was Bill Emerson’s son, and he had been a couple years ahead of Casey and her in school, but she knew who he was, and when she spotted him, she walked over.

“Hi Sam,” Caty greeted politely. “How have you been?”

“Alright, thanks. How about you, Caty?” he asked as he continued to count various bags of flour, sugar, and salt.

“Okay, thank you. I was wondering if, maybe, you had seen Tracey Marshall in here today?” she glanced around still unsure what to do about the situation.

“No, I haven’t, but what are you looking for him for?” Sam wondered aloud, his eyebrow cocked curiously at her.

“I was supposed to meet him here an hour ago, but he’s not here, and now I’m not sure what to do,” she admitted.

“Well, like I say, I haven’t seen him, but he lives just up the road if that helps. Maybe you can go see if he’s there,” Sam shrugged.

“That’s not a bad idea, Sam. Thanks,” Caty smiled. “So you know where he lives?” she prompted.

“Yeah. Just follow the main road to the first turnoff on the right, and when you get to the fork in the road, stay to the left, and his is the blue house,” Sam explained.

“Okay, thank you, Sam. I really appreciate it,” Caty called over her shoulder as she waved.

Caty drove down the main road to the first turnoff on the right, and like Sam had said, the fork in the road wasn’t too far after that. She veered left and looked for the blue house, hoping there wouldn’t be more than one of them. As luck would have it, there was only one blue house with a small porch, and she parked in front of the garage. When she got out of her truck, she heard some yelling, and for a moment, she considered just getting back in her truck and going home, but for some reason, leaving Tracey there seemed unacceptable to her, so instead, she ventured closer to the front door, and as she did, the words being shouted became easier and easier to understand.

“I can’t believe you would do this to Mom,” she heard Tracey yell. “Did you ever even love her?” he snarled angrily.

“Why do you care? She died, remember?” Mr. Marshall threw out callously. “I’m a free man, now, to do as I please,” he taunted,

“Why do you have to be such a bastard?” Tracey demanded. “I can’t believe you, just giving Mom’s stuff to her like that,” he scoffed. “Does she even know it was my mom’s ring first?” Tracey jabbed, and Caty gasped as she covered her mouth, feeling very much out of place.

“Why don’t you just get out of here?” Mr. Marshall suggested in a tone that said that it was more than a suggestion. “We’re busy,” he continued.

“Yeah, I can see that; making your pretend little life in Mom’s house, with Mom’s stuff, just… no Mom. So sorry I interrupted,” and you could hear the sarcastic bite in his words. “You know what? I’m outta here,” Tracey yelled as the door flew open and Caty stood there wide eyed and feeling rather ashamed, now, that she had overheard the whole thing. It’s not as if she had been eavesdropping, certainly she hadn’t had her ear pressed against the door or any such thing, but still. Maybe she should have just waited at Emerson’s for Tracey like he had asked her to.

Caty backed up off the small porch as Tracey came storming out, pausing only long enough to glare at Caty, before he stalked off to where her truck was parked. He yanked the door open and tossed his two bags inside before he climbed in, wishing like hell that Caty would hurry up and get off his porch before his dad said anything more. She was frozen to that spot on the tiny porch for a moment as her mind tried to catch up with what had just transpired before she marched loyally back to the truck, and Tracey, deciding that if what he wanted to do was leave, then that’s just what they were going to do.

She opted not to say anything to Tracey about what she had overheard, deciding that if he wanted to talk about it, then he would. That didn’t stop her from dousing him with worried glances every opportunity the road allowed her to look away safely for a moment. His breath was coming in thick huffs, as if he were sucking the air in through his gritted teeth, and the way his jaw looked clamped shut, Caty figured it would be quite a while before he calmed down enough to try and talk some.

She was thankful for the long drive back to Kingsman Bluff, knowing that if she were Tracey, she could use all the time she could get after a display like that. They had been driving for over an hour by the time it seemed to Caty that Tracey had calmed down enough to have his breathing return to some sort of normal pattern. The last time Caty had snuck a glance in Tracey’s direction, he had been staring out the window with the side of his head pressed against the cool glass.

“Thanks,” Tracey finally said softly, breaking the silence the two of them had rode in for so long. “For not saying anything, or asking any questions, or anything,” he elaborated, even if he still couldn’t bring himself to look at her.

“Sure,” Caty shrugged offering Tracey a quick but compassionate smile. She knew what it was like to lose a parent, even if her mom would never have acted like Tracey’s dad had that afternoon. “I’m sorry I overheard everything,” she tried apologizing. “I just heard the yelling and… I didn’t want to leave you there,” she explained hesitantly.

“I’m sorry you had to hear it, too,” he agreed regrettably. “But, thanks for not leaving me,” he said glancing in her direction for the first time on the whole ride home with a small, grateful smile.

“You know, you should do that more,” she commented. “It looks real good on you,” she winked.

“Smile?” he wondered aloud and she nodded her confirmation. “Yeah, I suppose. I haven’t been doing much of that lately,” he agreed.

Nothing more was said between the two of them, and much to their advantage, the rain had finally let up making the drive back up the mountain easier to navigate. Not at all surprising to either of them, was how Casey came running out of the barn when he heard them pull up on the gravel road. Caty shook her head disagreeably knowing that Tracey didn’t need another confrontation right now.

“I’ll take care of him,” she offered. “He’s just worried about me,” she tried to explain, as if that would take away the resentment and feelings of remorse Tracey felt every time Casey treated him like he wasn’t to be trusted.

“Okay, and, thanks again for the ride,” Tracey said genuinely before he grabbed his bags and headed for the bunkhouse and hopefully, some solitude.

“Remember, dinner’s at six,” Caty called out as she approached her brother who was standing at the barn door wearing the scowl that had seemed to be permanently fixated on his face lately.

Casey looked to be a mix of shocked and angry, with just a little bit of appalled thrown in for good measure, the way his eyes widened in confusion hearing Caty invite Tracey to dinner like she actually welcomed seeing his face at their dinner table. He was about to tell her just what he thought about that, too, before she waved him off, watching until Tracey was far enough away that she was sure he wouldn’t hear Casey and whatever it was he was about to say.

Caty walked into the barn and over to Geronimo, her favorite gelding, patting his side and scratching his nose while he nudged her toward the bucket of apples he knew she kept for such visits. She laughed at his blatant behavior before giving in and grabbing a large red apple from the bucket and feeding it to him. She reached for the brush she kept nearby and started to brush him like she made time to do every day while he chewed his fruity treat.

“How can you be so damn calm, Caty? I don’t understand. That guy… he… and you… I just don’t understand it,” he stated ever so eloquently as he looked at his sister expectantly. “I’m just so damn pissed off about the whole situation, and here you are doing him favors, and keeping him outta trouble with Janie, and acting like you want him here,” he went on and she knew better to interrupt him till he was done getting it all off his chest. “I mean, we don’t even know anything about him, ‘cept that he’s selfish, and reckless, and spoiled.”

“I know things,” she admitted quietly, sadly. She didn’t want to gossip, not about this at least, but it was something she understood all too familiarly.

“What do you know? What could you possibly know about him that would make me want him here, make me trust him, make me…”

“His mom died, too,” she cut him off, though her voice was gentle.

“He… what?” Casey wasn’t sure he heard right. “You’re sure?”

Caty nodded silently. “I heard his dad yelling at him this afternoon. See, he asked me to just meet him back at Emerson’s, and I didn’t think nothing of it, so I went out with Sarah, and when I went back to get him, he was nowhere to be found. I waited, and waited, but he never showed up, so I went inside and ran into Sam Emerson, and he told me where Tracey’s house was. I know it was dumb, but I drove over there to get him, and when I got there I heard him and his dad yelling at each other. I can’t believe his dad would do those things,” she said shaking her head with difficulty.

“What things?” Casey asked, curious now. His interest was piqued now that she had told him Tracey had lost his mom, too.

“Well, when I got there Tracey was yelling at his dad, actually. From what I can make of it all, I’m guessing that he was mad that his dad had moved some new woman into the house, and then, I heard Tracey say that his dad had given the new woman his mom’s jewelry and stuff. Tracey called him a bastard,” she recalled. “He is, too. Anyone who would do those things… anyway, it’s no wonder he’s been so upset. I kind of feel bad for him,” she admitted, afraid to look at her brother now, and she dropped down onto a bale of hay for support.

Casey couldn’t think of anything to say at first, mostly thinking about what he had just been told, instead. He plopped down next to his twin sister, their faces looking similar as always, even now, as they wore the same frown, and he said, “Me, too.”

Tracey walked over to the main house again with Will, grateful for an escort, and still not feeling entirely comfortable or welcome. Certainly he wasn’t ready to just walk in and take a seat at their table all alone yet, not with the way Casey was always scowling at him anyhow. At least he felt a little bit more comfortable in his own clothes now, he thought, as he shrugged out of his own familiar coat and hung it on the hook just inside the door.

Paulette had been correct that morning when she said Janie was making fried chicken, and macaroni and cheese, but Tracey couldn’t get over how good it smelled in that house every time he walked in there, or how much food Janie always cooked. Tracey and Will had arrived before Casey or Caty had this time, so Tracey just sat in the same seat he’d occupied every other meal since his arrival, and waited. Truth be told, he was more tired than hungry after all the commotion earlier, and he was looking forward to bed.

“Everything went okay this afternoon?” Paulette asked obscurely, not willing to bring up anything that could be hard to discuss, or that Tracey might want to keep private.

Tracey shrugged noncommittally. “It went as I expected it would,” he said just as vaguely, even if his frown over the matter was clearly evident. “How was your day?” Tracey asked in an effort to change the subject, even if Paulette caught it immediately.

“Pretty easy day today,” she answered accompanied by a knowing look, “what with the rain and all.”

“Too bad it didn’t let up sooner, or we coulda ridden down to the lower pasture,” Will commented.

“We do need to get down there sometime soon, don’t we?” Casey added as he appeared and dropped into his chair at the same time Caty did.

“Yeah, we need to get out and check the terrain again before we move the cattle for the winter,” Will went on.

“Do you get much snow up here?” Tracey asked curiously. He hadn’t really ever spent much time up in the mountains before, and he wondered if he would like the snow.

“Some,” Caty answered, though not too elaborately.

“Have you spent much time in the snow?” Paulette asked Tracey, concerned he might not be prepared for the cold weather that would come if he hadn’t.

Tracey shook his head. “Not much. My mom took me to the snow once, we built a snowman together,” he smiled wistfully. “I remember my nose was running something awful, and my hands were so cold by the time we were done, and then, it was like magic, ‘cause she went to the car and had this big thermos of hot chocolate,” he drifted off in his own memory momentarily. “Anyway,” he finished, realizing he had been prattling on.

“I’m sorry about your mom,” Casey said in a moment of weakness. “She sounds like she was great,” he added knowing how much he missed his own dad, having his own memories of the past to reflect on when the moment struck him as nostalgia often had a way of doing.

“What did you say?” Tracey asked incredulously, and before Casey even had a chance to explain, he added, “Don’t talk about my mom. You didn’t know her,” he demanded.

Tracey shot up from the table so incensed that Casey would have the nerve to say anything about his mom that, before he knew it, he was at the door. He always ran when it got to be too much, although he didn’t really have many places to run this time, and he could only run as far as his feet could carry him. His hand was already on the doorknob by the time he felt a hand come down on his shoulder to stop him. Tracey swung around ready to tell whoever it was to just leave him the hell alone, but when he saw it was Casey, and then noticed Casey’s hand on his shoulder he eyed Casey’s hand so obviously that Casey had no choice but to pull it back rather sheepishly.

 

“I didn’t mean to…” Casey started to say, but by then it was too late. Tracey had swung, his fist colliding with Casey’s jaw with an audible crack.

Casey’s hand grasped at his throbbing jaw bone as Will jumped up from the table. Caty had her hands locked over her mouth again, so shocked that she didn’t know what else to do, and Paulette was already right behind Will on her way to stop this before it got anymore out of hand. Will was standing tall between the two of them, his hand tightly grasping Tracey’s shirt to keep him in place as he looked between the two of them disappointedly.

“What the hell?” Casey shouted, angry and in pain. “I can’t believe you fucking hit me!”

“Alright! That’s enough,” Paulette immediately took control of the situation before it got anymore ridiculous. In a calm, but unmistakably firm voice, Paulette said, “This will be the last time anything like this ever happens. Do you both understand?” Her eyes glanced pointedly between the two of them looking for confirmation.

“All I did was try and apologize,” Casey huffed out. “I was just trying to be nice, damn it, and he fucking hits me!”

“And just how was he supposed to know that you were trying to be nice when all you’ve done since he got here, was be anything but?” she pointed out. “And, furthermore, since when do we talk like that in this house?” she asked emphatically with a look that said he had better not even consider trying to answer either of those questions. “And you,” she directed her attention to Tracey. “There will be no fighting, no matter how much he may, or may not, deserve to be punched in the mouth. Do you get me?” she demanded, her eyebrow rose sternly.

Tracey couldn’t find the words, much less guarantee any promises he might make right then, so he only nodded meekly. Casey on the other hand was on fire, much like his jaw felt, perhaps one feeding off the other, and he wasn’t ready to give in quite as quickly.

“I can’t believe you’re taking his side,” Casey shouted angrily.

“Well, maybe you’ll find it more believable outside tonight, ‘cause I’m done arguing about it,” she said. “You two wanna act like animals at my dinner table, that’s just fine with me, you can sleep outside with ‘em too,” she gestured over her shoulder as she walked off leaving the two of them standing there staring at one another and Will smirking in between them. At least he was smart enough not to laugh out loud, even if it took all of his self control not to.

Paulette returned quickly shoving a blanket in each of their arms before shoving them both out the door and closing it behind them. They stared at each other a minute before Casey stalked off to the barn, looking for some solace. He was trying really hard not to be pissed; pissed at himself for overstepping a boundary he knew he wouldn’t have liked overstepped himself, pissed at his mom for forcing the two of them to spend the night together, and possibly, the least pissed at Tracey for punching him. He wondered to himself if that made any sense at all.

Tracey was glad the rain had let up for the second time that day as he sat on that front porch he liked so much hoping to soak up some of the comfort it seemed to advertise. It was getting dark, and a bit colder, the sun setting earlier in the winter, and truth be told, Tracey was really tired and hoping that he could just go to sleep and forget that this day had ever happened. Unfortunately, he spotted Casey standing in the doorway of the barn looking up at the sky.

Tracey looked up, too, wondering if there was something specific Casey was looking at, or if he was just seeking some comfort as well. He didn’t see anything all that spectacular in the dark blue sky, but then again, a lot of people didn’t see anything particularly spectacular in a long porch with a railing either. Damn if he didn’t feel bad for punching Casey the more he sat and thought about it, that is, if Casey was being genuine when he said what he said before. That, and his hand was sore something awful, he decided, as he rubbed it gingerly.

Tracey sucked in a breath of the cool night air. It was clean and fresh after all the rain earlier that morning, and it helped to clear his head some. He needed to do that if he was actually considering walking over and apologizing to Casey. He hadn’t meant to hit him, it just happened. Things had a way of ‘just happening’ to Tracey a lot when he was mad. He knew it wasn’t good, but sometimes, he just got so angry.

He sucked in one more, full, cleansing breath; he was probably stalling, but he had all night now and slowly, he stood up. The movement on the porch caught Casey’s eye and he looked over at Tracey, watching him as he stretched out his long, lean body. He had been sitting on that porch as long as Casey had been pacing around in the barn, and his muscles appreciated the change. With his hands shoved in his back pockets, and his temper much more in check, some would even go as far as to say, with his hat in hand, Tracey strolled purposely over to the barn, and Casey.

“Hey,” Tracey offered softly.

Casey considered the situation a moment before he sighed, “Hey.”

“Did you really mean what you said in there?” Tracey asked cautiously, quietly. He really just needed to hear that Casey had.

Casey wasn’t sure which thing Tracey was referring to, but since he had meant every word, he said, “Yeah.”

Tracey nodded, considering that information some. They both stood there in silence, and finally, at the same time, they both started to speak.

“No, you go first,” Tracey insisted, although he wondered why ‘since the last time Casey initiated their one and only attempt at conversation, it had gone so well, he punched Casey. Tracey promised himself right then and there that he wouldn’t be doing that again, at least not tonight anyway.

“You’re not gonna hit me again, are you?” Casey asked only half joking.

“Nah, man, I’m sorry about that. You okay?” Tracey asked with just enough concern to seem genuine and not at all facetious.

“Yeah,” Casey said rolling his jaw around, testing it out. “It’s kinda sore though. You have one helluva right hook, you know that?”

“Thanks,” Tracey managed even if he wasn’t entirely proud of how Casey came to know that piece of information about him.

“I’m sorry, too.” Casey said. “Caty came home and she told me what happened today. Anyway, I didn’t know about… about your mom,” he said hesitantly.

“That’s okay,” Tracey shrugged. “How could you?”

Casey shrugged, too, toeing the dirt with his boot. “Sucks though, don’t it? I miss my dad every day,” he confided out loud to someone for the first time.

“You two behaving?” Caty breezed past them and into the barn.

Casey looked around a minute before following her in, leaving Tracey to follow, too. It seemed Caty had asked Janie to serve up some leftovers for them since neither of them had a chance to eat anything before Paulette had shoved them out the door. Besides, bringing the food out gave Caty a plausible reason to check on her brother and Tracey. She dropped a kiss on Geronimo’s nose before she walked back over to where her brother and Tracey were happily enjoying their unexpected dinner.

“Tracey, I just wanted to apologize,” she said guiltily. “I don’t want you thinking we were gossiping about you or anything. It’s just… I know how you feel, Casey, too…” she trailed off, unsure of what else she could say.

“I know, he told me about your dad,” Tracey said and Caty’s eyes widened a minute before she squeezed her brother’s leg.

“Okay, well, sorry you guys have to sleep outside,” she frowned. “I brought you a couple more blankets, too,” she gestured in their direction. “Anyway, I better go inside before Mama finds me out here.”

“Thanks, Kitty-Cat,” Casey said to his sister with a conspiratorial wink. “Night.”

“Night, little brother,” she smirked. “Night, Tracey.”

“Night,” he called over his shoulder.

They finished eating, and Casey packed the dishes back in the box Caty had smuggled them out in, and hid it in the barn till he could smuggle it back in sometime tomorrow. Tracey shivered, rubbing his arms for warmth, even if that was more useful as a distraction, than a way to keep warm.

Tracey walked back out to the porch where he had left his blanket, and when he turned around, Casey was right there with his blanket and the extras that Caty had brought out to them. Tracey wasn’t sure what to do next, but he wrapped the blanket around his shoulders in an effort to keep warm. Casey walked over and opened the tailgate on the old blue pickup truck, setting the stack of blankets down on it.

He pulled out a pocket knife, something his dad had always carried, and taught him to carry, too, and sliced open the bale of hay that was in the back of the truck, spreading it around before he spread a blanket down over it. With one boot up on the back tire, Casey hopped in, bunching a fair amount of hay up under the back window as a makeshift pillow.

“Coming?” Casey offered over his shoulder before he leaned back to look at his stars.

“Yeah, thanks,” Tracey said accepting the invitation and hopping into the back of the truck along side Casey.

 

It wasn’t long before Tracey had fallen asleep, the day’s exercises and his overactive emotions taking their toll. He was peaceful, finally, Casey thought, as he looked over at him, Tracey’s face relaxed now and looking almost as perfect as it had when he had smiled that morning at the breakfast table. It was easy to look at him like this, Casey thought, the way his hair feathered lightly over his ears. It was still a light shade of blond, from the sun most likely, but to Casey, it only seemed to make the darker golden hair at the roots more savory.

Tracey wasn’t what you would call rugged, nor did he have sharp features, but he was beautiful to look at. Lying there as he was in front of Casey, he looked almost delicate, angelic even; certainly not the type of man Casey was used to seeing on the ranch every day. His skin was fair, not at all weathered; it didn’t show signs of too much time spent in the sun, although, the soft dotting of light colored freckles he had across the bridge of his nose and onto his cheeks only added to his complexion, Casey decided smiling.

He could stare at Tracey all night, Casey thought to himself, watching the way his chest rose and fell, slowly and evenly with each breath he took. Casey would be useless tomorrow, he decided, if he didn’t settle down and get some sleep. He shifted his weight, rolling onto his side, resting his head on his folded arm. Casey was face to face with Tracey now, and if Tracey were to open his eyes, he would see Casey watching him with much interest, his bottom lip caught inquisitively between his teeth.

Tracey’s lips looked full, and they were a perfect shade of soft red, Casey thought, as he instinctively licked his own, his mouth feeling dry suddenly. Tracey mumbled something indistinguishable as he slept, his tongue darting out to moisten his lips, before he let out a soft groan and rolled away from Casey and his exploring eyes.

Casey managed a groan of his own as he exhaled sharply. Maybe if he closed his eyes, he would be able to just fall asleep, he had to try. As he did, his other senses took over, and he heard the horses in the barn moving around, the gentle breeze that blew over the large, yellow house, and through the barn. The fresh scent of the clean mountain air, and something else, something intoxicating, invaded his senses as he lay there and at some point, drifted off, dreaming again of the face, and the man, that lay in front of him.

Casey dreamt of sliding up behind Tracey, wrapping his arms around him, and pulling him close. He buried his nose in that soft, blond hair as he felt the warmth from Tracey’s body through his own shirt. Tracey wasn’t very muscular, but he wasn’t skinny either, he felt just the right size to Casey as his hands moved over Tracey’s stomach, exploring, feeling. He pressed his own body harder against Tracey’s, his own chest against Tracey’s back, his legs tangled with the pair in front of him.

“Mmm,” he mumbled nuzzling in closer, his lips rubbing back and forth across the soft skin, sucking, kissing the back of Tracey’s neck.

Casey was lost in his dream, and when Tracey felt him pressing against his back firmly, he melted back into Casey’s arms until he felt Casey pressing firmly elsewhere, too. It wasn’t so much a conscious choice, as an instinctive one, and Tracey welcomed the closeness. He relished in the exquisite comfort he felt wrapped up in Casey’s arms, the warmth, the security, the safety.

Casey’s arms… Tracey’s eyes shot open. He didn’t dare move, not yet, but Casey was holding him tightly anyway, and murmuring against his neck. Tracey could feel Casey’s soft lips flutter across his neck and he closed his eyes, willing himself to hold still, afraid any movement would either spook Casey, or end the pleasurable sensations he was feeling. He lay still, pressed tightly against Casey, appreciating the attention Casey’s lips were gently delivering.

Tracey couldn’t make out what Casey was saying clearly, but he could definitely feel that Casey was in the same state as he was. Casey grabbed hold of Tracey’s chest as he stretched out his legs languorously, providing even more pressure against Tracey, enough to force a low groan of pleasure from Tracey.

“Mmm,” Casey mumbled again. “Morning,” he said in almost a whisper, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to wake up with a man in his arms.

Tracey hesitated before replying, “Morning.”

“Were you warm enough last night?” Casey asked, though he made no move to get up or disentangle himself from Tracey.

“Yeah, I was fine. Seems like you kept me warm, maybe I should be asking you that question,” Tracey replied rolling his head slightly skyward, almost as if he were trying to look over his shoulder at Casey. Casey laughed softly, Tracey’s ears finding that particular sound quite pleasing, wishing he could see Casey’s smile at that moment, but not yet brave enough to leave his arms to see it.

“I think,” Casey started, as if still deciding, “that I slept better out here on this pile of hay, in the bed of an old, beat up truck, with a guy who punched me in the mouth, than I have in a real long time.”

“Overachiever,” Tracey laughed. “So, any chance we could stay like this a while longer?” relaxing enough to let himself yawn finally. “I kinda like it here myself,” he agreed snuggling further back into Casey.

It was still dark out when Casey pulled the blanket back around their shoulders. “Yeah, we can stay like this,” he agreed as his hand found Tracey’s and he slid his fingers in between Tracey’s.

 

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