A Private Affair - 1. A Private Affair

It was raining outside, falling harder then it had in a very long time. The weather seemed to mirror the mood within, although it was not the rain that caused the damper mood in the room, but rather a troubled soul lost in his thoughts.

Felix, my brother, was slumped on the couch, like he constantly had been for some time. In fact, it had been over a week since he had developed this sinking feeling that constantly nagged at him so much, that it created a void in his heart.

When watching him, it appeared that he was watching television, though after studying him for a short time, one could see that if someone were to go and turn it off, he wouldn’t have wavered. It was his thoughts that caused the zombie like state, making him practically catatonic towards the world around him. That’s because he was caught in time, uncertain which way to turn.

For as long as he could remember, his best friend had been Randy. They had been friends since the first day they met, which was when they started school. It was like fate brought them together, and as a result, since then, nobody could drive them apart.

Felix broke his absent stare suddenly and reached for the phone to begin dialing the most familiar number in his life, but stopped halfway through it. He began to tremble, desperately seeking the comfort of the bond he had grown accustomed to all throughout his years, only to now find a void so large, he couldn’t begin to fathom how to cope with such a sudden change.

A tear started rolling down his left cheek as the realization of what had recently transpired. He slowly placed the phone back upon the receiver while closing his eyes and taking a large, deep breath. He knew he could not change what had taken place, and part of him didn’t want to, but still, the pain he held was too great to stay in the state he now found himself in.

Through the heavy rain falling outside, a knock at the front door was made. Felix rose from his seat and slowly, made his way to the door. He didn’t want to open the door, and after glancing at the mirror, he nearly bolted from how ragged and worn down he looked. It was apparent that he had let himself go in the past week, and now, he was about to greet someone in such a shameful state.

He opened the door slowly and was stunned, or rather shocked, at the site of the person who was standing before him. The male, with his head down looking more at Felix’s feet, rather than his face, was drenched from head to toe, clearly washed out from the heavy rain, as there was not one part of his body that wasn’t dripping wet.

Felix opened his mouth to try to speak, but rather, his mouth just dangled wide open as he stared at the sight that was before him. His guest looked completely miserable, most likely from the way the elements had abused him as he dared to venture outside. There was an unspoken silence that cut though the air as the visitor slowly raised his head to meet Felix’s gaze. The two tried to mind read on what the other was thinking, while both struggled to speak.

“Randy,” Felix finally muttered out in barely more than a whisper, making it come across more like a question, than a statement.

Randy showed a determined expression when his voice, barely a whisper as well, finally managed to come out as he spoke through his teeth in a direct, yet clear gesture, “I’m not gay…”

******

Two weeks earlier

Felix and Randy were sitting on the couch watching television. School was out for the Summer, and the two of them were kicking back and enjoying the fact that they didn’t have to study for the next few months.

Randy was laying on the right side of the sofa with his head resting on the armrest and his feet planted flatly on the middle cushion so that his knees were pointed towards the ceiling. Felix, on the other hand, was on the left side of the sofa with his feet tucked under his bottom while he leaned on the left armrest.

They were both bored already as it was raining outside and they were not only forced indoors because of the lighting, but also with the current storm, the cable was knocked out. They were currently trying to make the most of it by playing a movie that was made long before either of them were born.

“Felix, that actress is hot, but I’d swear that she’s your girlfriend,” Randy commented.

“Ex-girlfriend,” Felix stated, then finished, “we broke up last night.”

“Really? Why? What happened?” Randy asked honestly while parting his knees to get a better view of Felix.

“Oh, it’s not really important, she’s just an impossible bitch, that’s all,” Felix clearly declared even though there was a hint of sadness in his tone.

“Is that a fact?” Randy asked knowing his friend better then anybody else.

“Absolutely,” Felix offered and then continued. “I mean we were always fighting over how regularly we hang out. I’d swear she was jealous. She said that since I would rather hang out with you more than her, then I can do it single.”

“So as a result of me, you two broke up?” Randy asked, wanting to make certain he understood.

“Perhaps, but Randy, she was too needy and just doesn’t understand,” Felix spoke as he released a breath of air he was holding in.

“Felix, you really need to stop doing this to yourself. Maybe you should do yourself a favor and start dating girls like Stephanie. She totally understands our situation, and thinks it’s great,” Randy informed his friend.

“Your woman is one of a kind. I wish we could clone her,” Felix desperately admitted.

“We already know what you want to do to her,” Randy smirked towards Felix which made him blush and made Randy laugh in response.

“The problem though, is you’re already doing those things to her,” Felix responded back once he regained himself.

“And don’t you forget it,” Randy grinned widely at his friend, while nudging Felix in the shoulder with his foot.

“Do you know when it’s going to stop raining today?” Felix asked in an attempt to clearly change topic.

“I think the weather man said it was going to rain most of the day, so we might as well do something else, because this movie kind of sucks.”

Felix agreed with Randy and grabbed the remote to shut it off. He rose from his seat to pack up the movie and place it back in its proper case.

“Why not put on that movie your brother didn’t want us to see?” Randy asked.

“I’d have to go ransack his room, I don’t know where he hid it,” Felix replied.

“Well he’s not home right, and we’re kind of stuck here anyway, so go on and find it,” Randy encouraged.

Felix nodded as he went off in search of the tape. Randy quickly became restless while listening to the rain, and after a short time he became so bothered by it, that he got up off the sofa in search of his friend.

“Have you found it yet?” Randy called out as he turned around the corner nearly collided into Felix.

Felix didn’t respond in words, but rather raise his hand to show that he had it, and they both returned to the living room. As Felix placed the video in the machine, Randy returned to his seat on the sofa, only this time, he sat properly, rather than hogging the majority of the sofa.

“So what’s so special about this movie anyway?” Randy asked out of curiosity.

“Darned if I know, but my brother mentioned it was some sort of foreign movie, so most likely it probable has sub-titles,” Felix replied.

“What’s it called again?”

“’Circle of Friends’, which sounds like a strange title for a foreign movie if you ask me,” Felix finished saying as he sat down with the remote in his hand.

Randy chuckled before responding, “Not a foreign movie, it’s a movie set in Ireland.”

“Are you sure?” Felix asked, which go him a quick nod from Randy.

“Grandma loves that movie and wants me to watch it for the sole purpose of giving her the reason to talk my ear off about it,” Randy finished saying while leaning back as Felix began cracking up laughing.

“Your grandma doesn’t need you to watch it to talk your ear off, Randy. She’d do it regardless if you have or not,” Felix reached for his glass on the end table, but noticed it empty. “Say, want me to get you another too?”

Randy smiled, which answered Felix’s question, as he rose to get both of them a drink from the fridge. Felix took longer than he thought he had, because when he returned, Randy was clearly playing around with the remote pressing the fast forward and rewind button while replaying a spot he was very interested in.

What was on the screen clearly wasn’t the movie Felix thought he had put on, but rather an adult movie which was showing a couple into each other in a very intimate way. Randy placed the controller back on the coffee table as Felix came back to view and repositioned himself to make himself feel comfortable on the sofa as he waited for Felix to take his spot.

Felix didn’t say a word as he retook his spot and placed the drinks on the coffee table. The two of them, now with their heads tilted, were both watching the movie as if they were trying to get the perfect angle, as if the camera had filmed it crooked.

They watched with great interest, like they had never seen a porn movie in their entire life. It was Randy who broke the silence between them as he spoke softly, “I think she’s faking it.”

“Probably, but right now, does it really matter?” Felix replied while trying desperately not to rip his pants off and massage his member right there in front of Randy.

Felix decided against that and instead reached for his drink, and as he took a sip, it was then that he noticed the position that Randy had place himself in. Randy was slouching in the couch with a cushion covering his side to block Felix’s view. It was flawed though, as there was a mirror in the room that actually gave Felix total view.

Randy had unbuttoned his pants and his zipper was almost down. Felix could also see that Randy had placed his hand not only inside the pants but under his boxers too. He was rubbing himself while watching the movie and the sound of his breathing was telling Felix that he was very much enjoying it.

Felix felt comfortable enough with his best friend that it didn’t bother him, so much so, that he decided to actually move the cushion beside him to block Randy’s view as he unbuttoned his own pants. As Felix leaned back into the sofa he slid his hand under his boxer and started stroking his own body part.

As both of them gave into their own urges while putting their focus on the television, they angled themselves to better stimulate their own bodies, which made both cushions fall to the floor and exposing what the other was feeling and hiding. Rather than freaking out at the sight of the other enjoying their own body, they both relaxed further and found themselves enjoying the moment even more.

The excitement grew as they began watching each other rather then the movie, almost as if they were trying to educate the other on how to improve their ability to manually stimulate themselves. It became clear that they wanted the other to view how they liked to be fondled and as their excitement grew to the max, it was Randy who was first to finish, while Felix quickly followed shortly after.

When they were both done, they pulled up their boxers and pants, before switching off the video and cleaning up after themselves. Nothing was said between them, they just remained silent for sometime which was odd since they always had something to say to each other. In the end, they put the other movie back on and finished watching it, after, of course, Felix returned the adult movie back to the original location where he found it.

Things eventually return back to normal as the afternoon progressed, and Randy and Felix also resumed their regular banter, that is, of course, until it stopped raining and allowed Randy to make a quick escape and head home.

By nightfall though, they were on the phone chatting about what their plans were for the next day and since it was supposed to be sunny and hot, they both planed on a bike trip.

******

A few days had passed since Felix and Randy shared their moment of intimacy on the sofa. Since then, neither had spoke about it, nor did either try to think about it. It was as though it had never taken place at all. They did go biking the next day just like they talked about, and then spent the better part of the following day playing road hockey with some of their friends.

Today they were walking though the parks when they were caught in another rainstorm. Randy panicked and quickly became disoriented while they were in the woods. Had it not been for Felix remaining true to his form, Randy would suffered a total breakdown.

“It’s going to be alright, Randy,” he spoke softly as he whipped off his jacket, threw his arm over Randy’s shoulder and shielding both of them from the rain.

Felix knew how Randy felt about storms and being caught in one was never a good sign. At one point, as they were racing though the woods, they found themselves covered in mud after tripping over a tree stump. Neither knew who was the one that actually fell first, all they actually cared about was getting to Felix’s house as quickly as possible.

When they did get to the house and entered, both of them sighed in relief as they were both soaked from head to toe, not to mention the layer of mud covering them.

They stripped off their outer layers and left the wet clothing in the mudroom where they entered the house. Felix grabbed two towels and tossed one to Randy as he wrapped the other around his waist. After Randy quickly wiped down his legs he followed Felix’s lead and wrapped his towel around his waist as he followed Felix to his bedroom.

They headed to the bathroom and without thought stripped down the remaining items until they were a naked as the day they were born. Felix turned the shower on while Randy collected the wet clothing and dropped it in the hamper. By the time Randy had returned, Felix had already climbed into the shower unit and was washing himself.

It wasn’t a surprise to Felix when Randy climbed in along with him as they often showered together. It had been this way since they where kids, mostly to cut down time when preparing for school. Felix just grabbed the bar of soap from its resting point, and reached over his shoulder for Randy to take it.

Randy took the soap without so much as a thought, and actually had his hand out to grab it before Felix had held it into position. As Randy lathered up his hands with the bar of soap, Felix leaned forward and rested his hands on the wall to allow the water to soak his head and run down his back.

As Randy began to scrub Felix’s shoulders and back, Felix turned the water tap over to increases the temperature of the water. Although, Felix was content with the temperature of the water, he also knew that Randy preferred the water to be hotter.

Once Randy had finished, Felix turned to face Randy and placed his hands on Randy’s waist. Then they reversed positions so that Randy was under the tap and now was getting the blunt of the water, almost like it was a well-practiced move.

Their eyes never wavered when Felix turned to face Randy and Felix could see a defiant struggle within Randy. He often had that look when the weather was stormy outside, and Felix was determined to wash away that struggle along with the dirt that was on both of their bodies.

Felix moved his hand and placed it delicately on the side of Randy’s face, only for a moment to brush his check as he shifted his hand to the base of Randy’s neck.

Felix moved one step forward to close the gap between the two and gently pulled Randy forward as he guided Randy’s head to rest on his chest so that Randy could hear his heart beat. He then took the soap and began to tenderly wash Randy’s back. Randy wrapped his arms around Felix and listened to his heart pounding away which did actually settle Randy’s mind as it normally did.

Felix raised his hand to hold Randy’s head as he rocked their bodies together. Their bodies connecting the way they were, only continued to solidify how strong their bond was for each other and as they continued to comfort in each other’s arms, Felix whispered into Randy’s ear, “Everything alright, Randy.”

Randy responded by pulling his arms in tight, as if he was reliving a bad dream, but like all nightmares, the realization that it’s only a bad dream slowly takes form and the fear subsides into nothing more than a reoccurring memory.

Once Randy calmed down, they finished their shower and found themselves in the kitchen making something to eat. Randy took hold of making BLT sandwiches which were Felix’s favourite, while Felix made fruit punch, but also added in a bit of vodka to calm both of them down, though it was more for Randy’s sake. Felix also pulled out a bag of chips and dug out the dip before heading towards the television.

Before long the two were laughing again, while leaning into each other for support the whole time. The two wasted the afternoon away watching random shows and stuffing their faces with whatever else they could find after finishing what they had first made. It wasn’t until sometime later that Randy noticed the weather had changed, although it was Felix who spoke what Randy was already pondering.

“I guess now that the rain has stopped you will be heading off?”

“Yeah, I promised Stephanie, that I’d see her tonight,” Randy answered, although Felix smirked when he heard a hint of sadness from Randy by that thought.

“Tired of your wife already, huh?” Felix taunted.

“Were not married dork,” Randy responded by shoving Felix with his body.

“Well from what I’m hearing, you’re both acting like newlyweds,” Felix cracked up laughing which made Randy actually blush.

“Hey we’re now where near as bad as you and Daisy used to be,” Randy tried to retaliate.

“Oh really, say is there any place you two actually haven’t christened?” Felix asked jokingly as they stood up and began cleaning up.

“Yeah, your bed and we’re planning on christening that very shortly” Randy grinned widely as he blurted out.

“Can I watch?” Felix eagerly asked.

“Nope, but we’ll let you clean up afterwards,” Randy laughed.

“Well it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve cleaned up after you,” Felix commented.

“Oh, and when have you ever cleaned up my mess?” Randy demanded as he glared at Felix uncertain how to take it.

“Like now for starters,” Felix smirked while waving a bag of chips that Randy devoured and made a mess in the process.

“Foul, that doesn’t count. I thought you were talking about something else,” Randy spoke as he realized it was Felix’s way of getting him to help clean up.

“Well we know where you mind is, gutter boy,” Felix busted up laughing as he spoke.

The two of them cleaned up the place, and Felix said farewell to Randy so that Randy could head onto his date with girlfriend. Felix managed to tease Randy a bit more regarding it and mentioned something about a threesome if Stephanie wasn’t able to find someone for Felix instead. Randy’s reply was mostly of annoyed and possessive responses, which continued to fuel his jokes and satisfy Felix’s enjoyment.

******

It was one of the worst storms in a long time, not from the rain, but rather the howling from the winds. The power had already been knocked out for several hours, and the winds alone made it clear that anyone who dared to venture out, that they would quickly regret their choice.

By now, night had set, although with the dark clouds it had seemed to set much before it actually had. Felix and Randy brought out a bunch of candles to give themselves some sort of light and played cards on Felix’s bed while trying to distract each other. Randy began looking at Felix like he had some foreign object plastered on his nose.

“What?” Felix finally asked after they tried to stare each other down silently.

“Are you hiding cards up your sleeves?” Randy asked Felix, which was clearly pointless due to the fact they both had no tops on.

“Yeah, along with a 747 jet,” Felix joked in response, noticing how frustrated Randy was getting for losing so many hands in a row.

“Then how come you’ve won almost every single hand?” Randy asked feeling a bit defeated by losing so much.

“Simple, I have the cards in my shorts,” Felix taunted while grinning and jokingly pretending to shove a card down his shorts.

Randy went wide-eyed, and actually fell for Felix joke. Randy leaning forward shoving Felix onto his back while grabbing Felix’s shorts, curling his fingers under the strap line and pulled them down and off of him, before Felix had a chance to realize what had transpired.

“There, now you can’t hide them in your shorts anymore,” Randy laughed while leaving Felix as completely bare as the day he was born.

Felix felt annoyed with himself, for allowing Randy to get the upper hand like he had, although he did feel like he should have known better than to make a comment which would make Randy respond and call his bluff they way Randy had. They did go back to playing cards, and Felix allowed Randy to relish in his victory by remaining naked, despite feeling a little self-conscious.

After playing a few more hands, and Felix losing every one, it was his turn for becoming frustrated and eventually retaliated by throwing the cards down and attacking Randy, until he had made Randy as naked as he was. By the end of the assault, both of them were lying on their backs facing the ceiling with one hands behind their hand, their other arm on their own stomach and their legs crossed at the ankles.

“Thanks for allowing me to tag along and making it a double date the other day,” Felix broke the silence after they drifted off into whatever they were thinking about at that moment.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that night,” Randy commented as he turned his head slightly to look at Felix with a smirk quickly developing upon his face.

“You have… Why?” Felix asked shifting partly onto his side in order to get a better view of Randy.

“Yeah. I wanted to ask how the heck you managed to twist your body the way you did,” Randy replayed.

“I think you lost me, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Felix stated genuinely confused.

“Well remember after Stephanie and I left Ashleigh and you alone?” Randy asked making certain Felix was following.

“Yes, I think so,” Felix answered still somewhat uncertain where this was leading.

“Well we might have been out doors, but damn there was enough light to see how twisted you two were while you were going at it. I really couldn’t tell where you ended and Ashleigh began.”

“You were watching us?” Felix asked a bit shocked.

“No, Stephanie wanted to make certain you two were alright, so she sent me to check up on the two of you. When I found you two, clothing was everywhere and man, you were pounding her like there was no tomorrow,” Randy commented feeling rather proud of his friend.

Felix started grinning like he had won the highest award possible and as he opened his mouth only one word dared to escape, “Jealous?”

“Maybe a bit,” Randy answered genuinely after pondering it for a few moments.

“Why?”

“Because, I really want to make Stephanie vocalize how Ashleigh was.”

“Told you I was good,” Felix bragged.

“Don’t let it get to your head,” Randy glared.

“Oh, I let it get to my head alright,” Felix spoke as he grabbed and slightly rubbed his private for a moment before bringing his hand back to his chest.

“Seriously Felix, how did you do it?” Randy asked genially.

“It’s really just a matter finding those spots which will drive someone wild,” Felix grinned as a thought crossed his mind.

“What?” Randy demanded to know what Felix found so interesting.

“Are you telling me that you’ve never found any of Stephanie’s spots?” Felix raised himself to look directly at Randy with a bewildered look upon his face.

“Yes… it’s just that… well you know she’s the only one I’ve ever been with,” Randy answered feeling a little unsure of himself.

“Well you two do it enough though,” Felix stated more as a comment rather then a question.

“Not as much as I’d like to,” Randy answered disappointedly.

“Well, you need to turn the tables and make her want you rather than you wanting her,” Felix offered as advice.

“Show me,” Randy requested which almost sounded borderline begging.

“Well it’s sort of hard though because you really don’t have the correct parts,” Felix smirked with a devious look upon his face, but before either could respond Felix gently guided his hand on Randy’s chest.

“You have to delicately touch them and caress them so that they beg for you to have your way with them,” Felix spoke softly as his finger tips traced the outline of what would be Randy’s breast if he had one.

Felix leaned towards Randy so his face was on the side of his friend’s neck to allow his breath to come into contact with Randy’s skin in an attempt to show the effect. A sensation developing in Randy which sent shivers throughout his body. Their bodies weren’t actually touching at this point, but the close contact was enough for both of them to feel the moment and their erections began to grow.

Randy, without thought, gravitated his hand towards his waistline in an attempt to begin to stroke himself, but once Felix’s penis grew enough, it came into contact with Randy’s side jolting Randy out of his thoughts and bringing the realization of a very awkward moment between the two.

“You know what, just forget I asked,” Randy stated as he removed himself from Felix’s bed.

It was then that a bolt of lighting ripped through the sky, the loudest crackling thunder that they both had ever heard, which managed to make Felix’s hairs stand on end. Randy’s response to the sudden sound sent him back onto the bed, but now, he found himself pressed firmly on top of his friend.

Felix, out of instinct, grabbed hold of his friend to comfort him, but also thrusted his pelvis forward due to the mindset of their recent situation. Their lips were nearly touching, and both were breathing heavily due to fright from the lighting bolt that added to the already intense moment as they looked into each other’s eyes.

Regardless of the reasoning for them being in such a compromising position, the moment suddenly took over and Randy allowed his head to lower as his lips came into contact with Felix’s.

Felix started to slide his hands tenderly up and down Randy’s back, caressing it as if it was extremely delicate and would break. Eventually though, Felix lowered his hand onto Randy’s bottom and slightly squeezed it which made Randy thrust himself forward, grinding both of their groins together.

Before long, Felix guided Randy onto his side and pulled one of his legs over him. Felix was first to slide his hand down and delicately dance around Randy’s member. Randy was soon to follow Felix’s lead, and before long they both were pleasuring the other, sending shock waves though each other’s bodies.

The kissing was gentle, rather than aggressive, and their breathing was deep enough to express to the other not to stop. When Felix broke the kiss, Randy first moaned from the separation, until Felix relocated his head to the side of Randy’s neck, guiding his lips across his skin before tenderly sucking on a spot which made Randy gasp from joy.

Randy responded by grasping harder as he was stroking Felix, causing Felix to suddenly groan out load. This began to quickly start a continuous cycle of constant pleasuring between the two, and before long, neither cared what was transpiring between them other than the fact that they were enjoying their moment together and only wanted more.

By the time it was all over, both of them were equally spent, and they had both fallen fast asleep in the other’s arms, completely tired from the ordeal. When morning came though, Felix woke to find the bed empty with Randy clear from sight. Felix was more then dumbfounded by his actions from the night before and after cleaning up after himself, and the mess the two of them made, he made a point of seeking out his friend.

Only this time, his calls went unanswered, and soon, after a few days, Felix slipped into depression as a direct result from the separation form his friend. This was a result of the simple fact that from the first time Randy and Felix met, not a day had gone by where both of them didn’t share the better part of the day in each other’s company.

******

Felix was slumping on the couch with his feet kicked up on the coffee table crossed legged with his head buried into his chest. He was totally buried into his depressed state as he pretended the world around him didn’t exist while he allowed himself to drift into whatever he happened to be watching on television. In fact, he had been there for so long, that he no longer knew what he was watching, nor did he notice as I approached him from behind.

Like the normal older, and of course, more mature brother, I took the only route I could think of to help my younger brother who was desperately in need of some brotherly advice, and clobbered him in the back of the head.

“Ahh… you fucken’ dick head,” he shouted at me as he rubbed the spot where I nailed him. “What the hell did you do that for?”

“You tell me,” I said which got me a look that resembled shooting daggers from him and I quickly added, “Why do you have your ass glued to the couch?”

“It’s not glued jerk, I can get up at any time,” he corrected.

“Really? Then prove it. I bet there is a groove that will show a perfect outline of that gay ass of yours,” I teased.

“I’m not a fucken queer asshole,” Felix muttered as he lowered his head and tensed into a ball on the couch.

“Aww, did little Randy and you have a fight,” I taunted in a tone as if he was two years of age.

“Don’t you fucken’ start,” he shot at me as he jumped from the couch, only to reveal I was right about the body outline he left behind.

“Testy aren’t we?” I spoke realizing that typical brotherly bonding wasn’t going to work here and decided to alter my tactics.

“Just leave me the fuck alone,” Felix blasted at me as he headed towards the door in an attempt to make a quick exit from the room.

“I’m sorry bro, look if you’re really this bothered, then maybe you should call him,” I offered as way to make truce with him.

Felix stopped cold as he looked back towards me as he stated hurtfully, “I’ve tried, but he won’t answer.”

“So what did you do to piss him off?” I asked honestly in an attempt to try to help.

“Nothing… apparently too much,” Felix spoke while feeling completely dejected.

“Well aren’t we full of uncertainty,” I said as Felix took a seat back down clearly wanting to talk and yet also showing a clear notion of not wanting to speak about it either.

“It wouldn’t have happen had it not been for that stupid thunderstorm,” Felix muttered.

“Wait, I’m confused,” I spoke honestly. “Are you talking about the one that happened the other week, or the one that you saved Randy’s life in?”

“The one at the end of last week, but now that you mention it, my life wouldn’t be so fucked up right now if I hadn’t been there to save Randy,” Felix spoke and he quickly winced at his own words.

“Now that was just wrong, Felix. You saved his life, he’d be dead had it not been for you quick thinking. You love him too much, how could you even think like that?” I asked out of concern for my brother from knowing the history the two shared.

“I don’t,” he stated very clearly. “It’s… just… complicated, that’s all.”

“Nothing the two of you share is simple. You two have been tied together so much since you foolishly jumped into the lake to pull Randy out of the water after the lake was struck by lighting knocking him unconscious,” I pointed out as Felix mentally relived that day.

“As a result of that day, he’s been afraid of thunderstorms ever since,” Felix spoke distastefully.

“Why are you so upset about his fears with thunderstorms?” I had to ask for clarification.

“Because things wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand,” he cryptically answered.

“How have things gotten so out of hand?” I asked to try to clear the cryptic answers I kept receiving.

“Well for starters, everything was fine until I went down on him,” he explained to me.

Felix always looked up to me, even if there were several years between us, and I never really gave him the time of day during my younger years. Still, he always seemed to come to me for advice whenever he was unsure of himself.

Under normal circumstances, I doubt Felix would ever have approached me on this topic, but I guess because of what he witnessed once when he walked in on two of my friends, he felt comfortable enough to open up and share this moment of intimacy between Randy and him.

“Whoa, didn’t need the details, but thanks for the mental picture,” I blurted still shocked to hear Felix’s revelation.

“You know what, I don’t need your stupid jokes right now,” he shot at me, and with good reason.

“Seriously bro, when you care for someone like you two care for each other, you open doors that aren’t necessarily normally there. That’s because there has always been a fine line between friendship and love,” I offered to him in an attempt to try to help.

“I’m not gay,” he informed me very clearly.

“What does being gay have to do with it? I’m talking about love,” I responded trying to settle his mind and doing quite poorly at it.

“But what if that means I’m gay?”

“Then there is no point in fighting it, bro, but consider this; if you don’t let yourself figure it out now, you could very well one-day regret it and get yourself stuck into something you’ll not be happy with later,” I spoke as I noticed a light seemed to dawn within him.

“Do you think I’m gay?” Felix asked me which rather caught me further of guard.

“What I think doesn’t matter,” I smiled as I looked at a distraught Felix.

“It matters… to me,” Felix whispered in sadness.

Against my better judgement I caved and answered him, “I’m surprised that it’s taken you two this long for something to happen. I was certain you two were a couple ages ago, but what I think is that you are my brother, Felix, and the rest doesn’t matter.”

With that, I rose out of my seat and allowed him to really consider what we had just spoken about. I was certain things for him were going to become even more unsettling than they already had been, but I was also certain he would be fine in the end.

******

When Felix opened the front door and found a sopping wet Randy facing him, it was clear Felix was shocked considering how Randy felt towards stormy weather.

“Randy,” Felix finally was able to mutter out in barely more than a whisper, and it came across as more of a question, than a statement.

Randy showed a determined expression when his voice, barely a whisper, finally managed to come out as he spoke though his teeth in a direct, yet clear gesture, “I’m not gay…”

Felix, rather than responding with words, opened the door wider as he leaned forward and guided Randy inside with a hand pressing his shoulder. Felix closed the door and carefully locked it. Randy just stood there, completely unsure of himself, and although he was going to speak, suddenly he found he had no idea what to say.

Felix grabbed a towel that was left hanging to dry from the previous day and placed it around Randy bringing part of it over his head to dry his hair. Randy reached up and started to dry his own hair as Felix instantly started to unbutton Randy’s shirt in an attempt to get him out of his soaking clothes.

Suddenly, what was natural for the two of them because of constant habit though the years, suddenly felt foreign and confusing to them. The awkwardness continued to grow as Felix froze from only half-unbuttoning Randy’s shirt and exposing his upper chest, yet feeling completely powerless to let go.

As they looked into each other’s eyes with a yearning for what they once had, Randy brought his arms slowly up and placed both hands on Felix’s arms, just above the elbows. The two slowly leaned in and rested their foreheads together as they closed their eyes, uncertain as to what the next move ought to be.

“I know,” Felix finally answered as he then tenderly pulled Randy into an embrace much like he normally would when Randy was rattled by the storms. They found themselves looking into each other eyes, searching for something, with their lips hardly apart from the other while realizing that at any moment, either one of them could just lean forward and connect with the other.

Neither one of them had seen me enter, nor neither one of them saw me duck out as I allowed them to share in their private moment. I was certain that whatever path they would travel down, they would be alright, but of course, I also knew that it was their affair and it was a private one at that.

Discuss This Story