Halloween is a Holiday - 1. Halloween is a Holiday

HALLOWEEN IS A HOLIDAY

by rknapp

Halloween is a holiday, and I don’t care if anyone says otherwise. There are two times a year that I party, and only two times a year that I drink. Those times are Halloween and the 4^th of July. I got three cases in the back of my ’87 Monte Carlo, and it ain’t the 4^th of July. If you really want to dispute this, talk to my manager, Tony. He’s the 6’ guy over there in the seasonal department with biceps that would make the Rock jealous, and he’d be more than happy to assist in changing your mind.

We didn’t say anything to each other, Tony and I, as we punched out fifteen minutes before we were actually supposed to leave, but he locked the doors and told everyone to go home early. Ah, the power of being a manager. Hell, the only expressions we exchanged that night was me grinning, and him shaking his head, while the rear tires on my Monte Carlo failed miserably in the pursuit of traction out of the parking lot. See, this has been our thing for the fourth year running. Once work is done for the night, we go the clearing in the woods behind Ricky Carmichaels place out in Whitehouse and party. Now that I’m 21, I’m finally able to bring a little happy juice to the party. I guess he was just disappointed that it’ll be a bit foamy now.

Good drivers will tell you that it takes about 30 minutes to get from the Flemington Borough to Rick’s house in Whitehouse Station. I say, fuck that, I’m using every one of the 350+ horses that my crate motor was built to make. It was about 15 minutes to the front of house, and another fifteen minutes waiting for Tony to get his fucking ass down here. I’m sorry, but a small black coupe and the woods don’t mix. Plus, we needed a cooler for the booze, and the bed of Tony’s Ford was perfect. I watched as a pair of headlights, presumably belonging to a truck of some kind, made their way up the winding road to the house. I flicked the butt of the cigarette I was smoking out into the street, and popped the trunk of the car so the guys could start loading the truck with ice and beer. It was Tony, Jayson, Rick, and myself who loaded the truck. Apparently, the girls, and several people I didn’t know were already in the clearing, and were starting up a small fire to keep warm.

“What took you guys so long, I thought you got out early?” asked Jay.

“Feather foot here thought the long, thin one would bite his foot if he touched it,” I said, earning a glare from Tony.

“Hey, fuck you buddy! At least I didn’t nearly run down that old couple in front of the store!”

“Maybe they shouldn’t have been there… besides, who the fuck goes for a walk on Halloween?” I asked.

“Who the fuck gets drunk on Halloween?” Rick both asked and pointed out.

“Touché… fine let’s just get in the truck and get out there, they’re waiting for us,” I said as I climbed into the back of the cab of the truck. The clearing was a good two-minute drive, but it took about five because Tony was complaining about a bad strut on his truck, and he didn’t want to have to call a tow truck out in the woods for a blown strut. By the time we got there, it was clear that the girls, Chrissie, Jo, and Laura, had indeed built a fire, as well as two other guys and another girl I had never met before.

“Cool, Dani made it,” exclaimed Tony. Well, I guess Dani is our mystery girl.

“Yeah so did Brian and it looks like he got Jake to come along,” Jayson said.

“Brian and Jake?” I inquired.

“Oh yeah, Brian’s a buddy of mine from college, and Jake’s his best friend from where they used to live up in Vernon,” Jay replied, answering my question. Now if only I could just figure out why every other guy in the truck except for me was grinning mischievously.

“Why the round of grins?” I asked.

“Nothing, don’t worry about Jake, you’ll like him,” Tony said, as if he thought Jake was the one I was most curious about. I just couldn’t figure out why it was true.

“Why would I be worried about Jake? I haven’t even met him,” I said as I nonchalantly sat back in the seat while Tony turned the truck around to face the bed towards the fire, next to Jo’s jeep.

We all got out and started to rip open the packs of ice and dump the ice into a disorganized pile in the bed of the truck, towards the open tailgate. We then tore into the three cases of beer that I had pulled from my car and cram the cans into the ice. Brian had come over and introduced himself to Tony and me, while I noticed that this Jake character stayed over with the girls, seeming almost animated in their conversation. Weird, I never see guys so animated in conversations, except the ones around New Hope, Pennsylvania. Brian grabbed two cans and went back over to the fire, handing one can to Dani, while the four of us took two cans each and went over to the chatty Cathy’s, and Jake. I had intended on giving the extra can to my best friend, Jo, until she accepted one from Tony, and Chrissie and Laura accepted Jay’s and Rick’s spare cans. This left me with the mysterious Jake whom the guys seemed particularly insistent with me not worrying about. I guess it wouldn’t kill me to make new friends every once in a while. See, I’m not sociable, at all. With the exception of the new Jake and Brian, the people here at this gathering are the only friends I allow myself to have. I was the quiet kid in the back of the classroom through grade, middle, and high school. I let out a little bit in college, but I was only there long enough to get an associates degree in engineering, so that doesn’t count. Tony and I were friends as a result of the store we both worked at. Jo and I have been friends since we were babies, and she was the first person whom I chose to come out to in high school. The others came about somewhere along the way and never quit me.

“Hey, I’m Jake,” he said, digging me out of my thoughts.

“I’m Ryan,” I said, passing him the beer in my other hand. He accepted it, but not before the fingers on his hand brushed against mine. He locked his deep brown eyes on my blue ones, something I hadn’t experienced in a very long time. It almost seemed like the exchange took longer than was necessary, while I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was almost a nervous feeling, one that I had not felt in over a year when I last had sex. Hey now, just because some of us don’t get more ass than a toilet seat doesn’t mean we’re sad cases, all right?

I tore my eyes from his to look at Jo, who was giving me an oddly thoughtful look. She’d definitely seen what had just happened. I’m sure if it wasn’t below forty degrees at the moment, she could have seen the blush invading my cheeks in the firelight.

I looked back at Jake and quickly said, “Um, nice to meet you, Jake.” I quickly got uncomfortable with the way he was looking me in the eye. No one ever does that. Most people think of me as a bit scary when they first meet me, due in part to the way I have my dirty blonde hair done up punk rock style, a hoop in my left nostril, and a tattoo on my forearm. Consequently, they never look me in the eye unless they’re talking to me, and Jake wasn’t talking to me. He was looking deeply into my eyes, without saying anything, which made me nervous. Jo, seeing the situation, rescued me by hooking my arm with hers and taking me over to Tony’s truck, saying she had something she wanted to tell me. I kinda felt bad for just leaving him like that, since his stare wasn’t exactly threatening, or unwelcome, but I felt better when Chrissie and Laura came up to him and continued their previous conversation.

Jo and I sat on the tailgate of the truck, just in front of the ice pile, and she started telling me about this hot teacher’s assistant in her chemistry lab. Yeah, she was still in school going for her bachelor’s in biochem. She had the ambition to continue with her education after community college, unlike myself.

“So what do you thing of Jake?” she startled me by asking.

“Jake? Um, well, he’s nice,” I said, growing uncomfortable again. I don’t know why, but suddenly any conversation of him brought back that deep feeling in my gut.

She looked at me thoughtfully and said, “You like him.” It wasn’t even a question for her.

“What? What makes you say that?”

“You’re fidgety around him, and your palms are sweating even in this cold-ass weather.” she pointed out. I forgot that she had an eye for detail. I couldn’t lie to her, she knew me too well.

“Ok, what does it matter if I do? He’s clearly straight,” I said.

“If you say so, I’m gonna go over to the girls now. It looks like I’m missing quite the conversation,” she said before pushing her small frame off of the tailgate, and walking away. I’d hardly noticed the motion as I stared into the crackling fire, wondering why I had this kind of feeling for a guy I just met, and knew nothing about. Sure, he was cute, with his teddy bear brown eyes and short, dark brown hair, lightly styled at the front. He had a smile that made even someone like me brighten up. His voice wasn’t particularly deep, but had enough of a low note to sound sweet and strong at the same time. He was even relatively quiet, and light on his feet, as I’d hardly notice his moving to the truck to dispose of the now empty can I had given him, and to get another, until I felt his weight bringing the truck down somewhat as he took Jo’s seat next to me.

“You look lost in thought,” he said.

“I suddenly have too much on my mind,” I replied, not looking at him.

“So, what does Ryan do for rent?” he asked, striking up conversation.

“Tony forces me to run the truck crew at his store in F-town, and pays me a supervisor’s salary to do it,” I replied, “how do you keep the landlord off your ass every month?”

“Music shop in New Hope.” Interesting, he works in New Hope. New Hope is a small town along the Delaware River that has a lot of small shops, is very beautiful in the spring and summer, and happens to be an area that attracts a lot of gay men. I decided to find out more.

“New Hope is a nice area, I go there a lot with Jo when it’s warm,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s nice, but it gets really hard to work there when it’s warm. A lot of the time you just want to be on the other side of the register, or outside strolling around, you know?” he said.

“I understand completely,” I replied. From there, we got into talking about work, school, and friends. I couldn’t figure out a way to get into the subject of gays, but he did.

“I was outside sweeping the stoop and sidewalk in front of the shop the other day, and I saw a nice looking gay couple sitting outside and enjoying each others company. I couldn’t help but notice how happy they were. It almost depressed me because I can’t seem to find a relationship like that, you know?” he said, bringing my full attention on him.

“Yeah, I haven’t even had the opportunity to have a relationship with someone before,” this conversation was startling. First of all, guys don’t talk about their past relationships, much less their relationship wishes with each other. Even more out of place is pointing out a gay relationship, but I suppose that was just the material to be had from working in a place like New Hope. I felt totally blind-sided, and hadn’t even noticed until now that we had moved closer to each other in response to the falling temperature. I guess maybe he isn’t as straight as I had thought. I needed to be sure, though, “would you ever want to take one of their places, the guys in that gay relationship?”

He seemed thoughtful for a moment, before looking into my eyes, smiling, and saying, “Absolutely.” That was all I needed to know, as I smiled right back at him. Neither of us had even noticed how much time had passed until we heard the girls complaining about how cold it was at one in the morning. We both reluctantly pushed ourselves off of the truck while Tony went into the bed-mounted toolbox on his truck and produced several shovels.

“You and you, throw dirt onto the fire,” he said, handing Jay and Rick shovels, “I’ll take the rest of the beer,” he continued as he picked out the three remaining cans from the melting ice pile in the bed. I guess Jake and I never noticed everyone coming to and fro for beer. “You two shovel the ice onto the fire with the dirt,” he said as he handed the other two shovels to Jake and I. The fire was silent in just a few moments, as the girls got into the jeep, and the guys threw the shovels into the bed of the truck and got in the cab for the ride back to Rick’s house. It was a bit cramped in there, with six guys, some of whom were slightly inebriated. Jake sat next to me in the back, quite closely I might add.

When we got back to the house, we realized that we were going to have a bit of a problem. The girls had already left in the jeep, without saying good-bye. Tony and I were ok to drive ourselves home, but Jay and Brian were in no condition to drive anywhere, which also stranded Jake.

“You guys can crash here if you want,” Rick offered.

“I have to get up early to go to work, though. Can I borrow your car Brian?” Jake asked.

Brian looked at him, swayed, and said, “No way man, last time you drove it you hit my mailbox.”

“Oh come on, that’s not fair! It was one time!”

“It’s ok, you can come home with me and I’ll give you a ride to work in the morning,” I offered. What? I felt like being hospitable for once!

“You sure it’s not too much trouble?”

“Not at all, I live in Readington so New Hope is a hop, skip and a jump.” I guess that settled it, as Rick, Jay, and Brian all walked back to the house, Tony muttered a tired ‘Later’, and I walked Jake over to my car. I had to unlock the door for him, since my Monte Carlo was too old to have fancy power door locks or power windows or anything like that. It felt a little weird though, as I went ahead and physically held it open for him, and shut it once he settled in the seat. I walked around the long, frost-covered hood and slid into the driver’s seat. I put the key in the ignition, turned it, and listened to the big block roar to life. The tachometer and temperature gauge told me that the motor was too cold to drive with just yet, as I liked to let the RPM’s fall under the 1 before even shifting out of park. So, we got to talk.

“What made you ask that question?” he inquired.

“What question?” I responded.

“If I would want take the place of one of those guys, you know, be in that gay relationship?”

“I wanted to know if you might be gay,” I said point blank. No point in beating about the bush, right?

“Heh, well now you know that I am,” he said, as his body realized that the heater wasn’t going to work with a cold engine and he started to shiver. I turn and reached into the back seat for a jacket, and helped him into it. Once it was on though, I stayed relatively close, still leaning slightly over the console. I also left my right hand on his back, rubbing lightly to create heat.

“What about you?” he asked.

“What about me,” I said as he looked at me, and our faces were only several inches from each other.

“Are you gay?” he replied as we looked at each almost lovingly, and I no longer needed to create heat on his back for him as the temperature of the car rose, but I kept doing it anyway. He turned his body towards me so that my hand fell to his arm. I couldn’t really think of a way to tell him ‘yes’, as I never really talk about being gay. Instead, I leaned forward and allowed my lips to come across his. His lips were soft, having been warmed by our body temperatures. I decided that I liked them instantly as they parted slightly and he deepened the kiss. I felt a warm, moist sensation enter my mouth, and realized it was his tongue. My other hand came up to caress his face as he continued the kiss and the windows quickly became opaque with fog. When my own lips started to hurt, I decided that we should break the kiss and get moving before the boys inside the house came out to find out why my car was still outside, as the engine was more than warm enough to get moving. He leaned back into his seat as I leaned into mine, cranked up the heat, cracked the window to let the fog out, shifted into drive, and pulled away from the house. My driving style was having my left thumb on the bottom of the steering wheel, and my right hand on top of the shifter. This meant that Jake had the opportunity to put his left hand over my right, which he did as we smiled to each other.

“After you take me to work tomorrow, when will I see you again?” he asked while looking in my direction.

“When does your shift end?”

“Four o’clock in the afternoon,” he replied.

“There’s your answer,” I responded as I piloted the old Chevy onto Barley Sheaf Rd, which would take us to the loft apartment I occupied over old Mrs. Kirkpatrick’s garage. He seemed pleased with my answer as I turned my shifter hand over so that he could clasp his hand with mine, and he sat back to enjoy the ride.

When I’d left the store tonight, I’d expected to get stinking drunk and pass out on Rick’s living room floor, just as I’d been doing for the past three years. I hadn’t imagined that I’d be meeting a guy, drinking only one can of beer, make out with the new guy in my car in front of Rick’s house, and not only be taking this new guy home with me, but be seeing him again as soon as humanly possible. Were we technically dating now? I looked over to him, and his eyes met mine as we both smiled at each other. Only time will tell I suppose. I must say, this Halloween was the most pleasant one I’d had in years, and I didn’t want it to end. Fuckin’ A for Father Time and the sand man.

© rknapp 2006

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