Begin Again - 1. Chapter 1

I woke up and rolled over, squinting at the clock on my nightstand. 6:50 AM.
My hand shot out and tapped the snooze button—though I didn’t really need to. I wasn’t sure why I’d even set an alarm in the first place. I almost never slept long enough for it to go off before I was already awake.

I lay back on my back, eyes open, staring at the ceiling for a while.

Another morning. No different from yesterday, or the day before that.

And yet… not bad. Not at all.

Most days had something good in them.

Especially because of one thing. Or rather, one person—who made every day feel like something more than just “another.”

Just thinking about him brought a smile to my face.

He’s the reason I could smile like this every morning. The reason I could get through each day with a little more strength.

A soft giggle echoed from the other side of the room.

He knew. I was sure he knew I was thinking about him.

I got out of bed and walked straight to the crib, leaning over to look at the sweetest little boy in the world.

He looked up and beamed at me, stretching both arms out.

I scooped him up and carried him back to bed, laying him gently on my chest, face down like he liked it.

“Good morning, little guy,” I murmured. “How are you feeling today? Sleep okay?”

Forest giggled again, cheerful as ever. He squirmed in close, like he was trying to wrap those tiny arms around me in a hug.

I held him tight, brushing my hand over his soft hair and humming a quiet tune.

This—this—was my favorite part of the day.

I loved him more than anything. And I knew he loved me too.

That kind of love didn’t need words. You could feel it in his big, round eyes, in that radiant smile. He gave me strength. He gave me purpose. He gave me a reason to get out of bed each morning and face the world.

I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.

I lifted my head a little, chin resting on my chest as I looked down at him. He looked back up at me, eyes locked onto mine.

We shared the same bone structure. Same nose. Same faint dimple on the left side of the mouth when we smiled. But those big, dark brown eyes? He got those from Skye. His mother.

Just thinking of her made my chest tighten again.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing her.

Skye and I had been friends since we were kids. We grew up across the street from each other—until I moved away right before high school. We drifted for a while, nearly a full year, and I was going through a tough time back then. A lot of confusion, a lot of things I didn’t know how to talk about. But when we reconnected, all of that started to fade. She made things clearer. Simpler. Safe.

We clicked instantly. Best friends. Soulmates, maybe. By the time we started college, we were officially together.

Everyone thought we’d get married right after graduation—and they were almost right. I finished my bachelor’s degree in just three and a half years, started working here in the U.S. for a while, then spent another year in Japan for post-grad study. When I came back to New Jersey, she’d just finished school herself.

I’m Japanese American. Both of my parents immigrated from Japan years before I was born. Skye, on the other hand, was part Irish.

After we got married—and after a lot of trying—we were finally blessed with our little one.

Skye was the one who chose his name: Forest Aiden Arashi. She wanted something that reflected both of us—something that felt like Creek and Skye woven together.

Plus, Forest is my middle name. So really, it wasn’t a hard choice. It just felt... right.

In the last couple months of her pregnancy, Skye’s blood pressure kept spiking. She’d complain about headaches a lot too, but nothing ever seemed serious enough to be dangerous.

The delivery itself went smoothly. Forest came into the world strong and healthy. Skye even got to hold him for a moment while I cut the cord.

But after the nurse took him away to get cleaned up, something changed.

Skye started seizing. Hard.

I didn’t even understand what was happening at first. It wasn’t until later that the doctors explained: it was something called eclampsia—a rare but severe complication of pregnancy.

I panicked. Everyone did. Doctors and nurses rushed around trying to stabilize her.

A few minutes later, Skye lost consciousness—and never woke up again. She fell into a coma that same day, and her condition never improved.

A week later, her liver and kidneys began to fail. And then... she was gone. Just like that.
It all happened so fast. The grief was unlike anything I’d ever known.

I lost my best friend. The love of my life. And there was nothing I could do to get her back.

“Forest…” I whispered, blinking fast as tears welled up in my eyes. “I wish your mom could see you smile. I really do.”

Just then, the bedroom door swung open.

My mom marched in, hands on her hips at the foot of the bed.

“Mommm,” I groaned. “How many times do I have to ask you to knock?”

“And risk waking Forest Aiden up? No thanks,” she said, clearly unfazed. She loved calling him by his full name. “Also—why are you half-naked in bed with the baby? Honestly, Creek, it’s not a good look. Letting your son nap on a bare-chested father like this? Tsk. It’s indecent.”

“Mom, I’m not naked. I’m wearing boxers. And for the record, I read that skin-to-skin contact helps with bonding and development. It’s supposed to be good for infants.”

“Oh really? I raised three kids and now you need a book to tell you what’s good for babies?” she shot back, squinting at me. “You want advice? Ask me. I’ve got more than any book.”

“Even when I don’t ask, you give it anyway,” I muttered.

“I heard that, Mr. Creek Forest Arashi,” she snapped, but she was already making her way to the bed. She scooped Forest up from my chest with practiced ease. “Come here, sweetheart. Come let Grandma give you a big ol’ kiss. Look at you, huh? Somebody’s in a good mood today!”

She kissed his cheek loudly, and Forest giggled uncontrollably, kicking his tiny feet with joy.

“Where’s Dad?” I asked.

“Downstairs. Getting ready to head out with your brother.”

“To the office?”

She nodded. “That’s right. What about you? Working today?”

I sat up. “Yeah, I’ve got a few things to wrap up. Should be home by the afternoon.”

“Good. I’ll watch the baby. But you—go shower, get dressed, and come eat something before you’re late.”

She walked out with Forest in her arms, humming to him like she used to with us when we were kids.
Our family runs a business called Pathway Horizons—a career consulting and internship placement agency based here in Montclair. My parents co-founded it with a few of their old friends, way before any of us were born.

Now both my older brother and sister work there full-time.

I’m the outlier, the black sheep of sorts. I don’t work at Pathway directly—not yet, anyway.

Instead, I’m the Head of Marketing at a private language and career prep institute that partners closely with Pathway Horizons. So even if I’m technically “outside,” I’m still connected to the family business whether I like it or not.

After I showered and got dressed, I headed downstairs and sat at the kitchen table, chatting with Dad for a bit until my older brother came by to pick him up.

“So, what’s the latest on that condo of yours?” Mom asked while she cleared the breakfast plates.

“It’s almost done,” I replied, lifting my glass. “Actually, I was planning to stop by after the office—just to see how far along they are with the furnishing.”

She sighed under her breath. “I still don’t get why you’re bothering with that place. A condo, really?”

Here we go again…

“I mean it. You really think it’s a good idea to live there with just you and Forest? Who’s gonna help during the day? Skye’s not here anymore. Honestly, I think you should just sell it.”

“Mom…”

“I know you’re still holding onto her, but—”

“Mom,” I said, a little more firmly. “I’m not moving in there tomorrow, okay? I just wanted to have something set up—for the future. It’s better than letting the place sit unfinished. Once Forest is older, maybe I’ll move in, or maybe I’ll just go back and forth. But I know I can’t live there full-time right now. I don’t want to put that kind of burden on you and Dad.”

“Burden?” she scoffed. “Creek, we’ve been helping you since day one. You go to work, I take care of your son. It’s what family does.”

“Don’t you get tired of that? I’m twenty-five and still living with my parents. Woody and Dawn both have their own places.”

She came over and pinched my cheek. “Oh, stop it. You talk like you’re forty. You’re only twenty-five. That’s nothing. And don’t start bringing those American ‘move out young’ ideas in here. Staying with family longer isn’t a bad thing.”

“I love you, Mom,” I said, standing up to kiss her cheek.

“Go on, take care of your son. I’ll handle the dishes. And by the way, grandma and grandpa are coming by this afternoon to see Forest.”

“Grandma and grandpa?”

“Not yours. His.” She nodded toward the living room. “Skye’s parents.”

“Ohhh. Guess I’ll miss them, huh?”

“Oh please, they live five minutes away. You’ll see them another time.”

Back when I was a kid, we moved houses once. But when Skye and I were in college, her parents bought a home in the same neighborhood as ours. Since then, our families had grown close again—just like when we were little.

“I’ll stop by the office and then head home quick,” I said, turning toward the living room.

“What about the condo?”

“That too. Just didn’t mention it,” I said with a shrug as I walked off.

I heard soft laughter coming from the crib in the middle of the room, like he knew I was coming.

“Well hey there, buddy. You in a good mood today?”

I scooped Forest up and kissed his cheek loudly, making him laugh even harder.

He was such a happy, easy baby. Sweet, expressive, always reaching for someone’s attention—especially if he sensed someone needed cheering up. He was only five months old, but he already had the charm to win over anyone who got near him.

Everyone in my family said he got that from me.

The irony? I wasn’t even sure I had any charm left.

I’ve never been a flirt—not even close. I’ve always been the quiet type. Friendly, sure, but reserved. Almost too shy. But people used to say that was what made me likable. That quiet calm. That soft smile.

I never really got it. Still don’t.

“I’ll be back soon, little man,” I said as I placed Forest back into the crib.

He cooed in response, eyes bright, as if he understood. After getting everything settled at home, I drove over to the office to finish up the last bit of paperwork.

The front desk staff greeted me with friendly smiles, as usual. Saturdays were always busy—students came in for career consultations, resume clinics, or just to hang out in the study lounge before their workshops.

I passed by a mix of college juniors and seniors, some talking with advisors, others waiting for mock interview sessions or portfolio reviews. I didn’t pay much attention—I was never great at schmoozing or sales.

My strength was in helping people figure things out—what they really wanted, what their next steps should be, and how to get there. That’s what made me good at marketing, not at pitching enrollment packages.

“Creek! Hey, got a sec?”

Katherine, one of our younger team members, hurried up just as I was about to reach my office. She was only a year younger than me but had the energy of someone fresh out of undergrad.

“What’s up?”

“There’s a group of students out front—seniors from Montclair State. They’re asking about internships, grad school prep, stuff like that. Would you mind talking to them for a few minutes?”

“Where’s everyone else?”

“Emily’s out, and the others are tied up. I figured you’d be perfect—they’re asking the kind of stuff you actually know about.”

I sighed, but smiled. “Alright. Let’s go.”

She led me back toward the front lounge, where five students were gathered around one of the coffee tables.

“Hey guys,” I greeted them with a small wave. “I’m Creek—I handle marketing here at Pathway Horizons and occasionally help out with career advising too. Katherine said you had some questions?”

They nodded, and introductions were made. I asked what they were studying, where they were hoping to end up, and what their current plans were after graduation.

I gave them a quick rundown of what we do—how we help students polish resumes, prepare for interviews, build LinkedIn profiles, connect with companies offering internships, and even explore options for grad school or fellowships. I didn’t mention that the agency was family-run. It didn’t seem relevant.

They listened closely, especially when I talked about my own experience doing a one-year MBA in Tokyo.

“So, are you all thinking grad school?” I asked.

“Nah,” one of the girls said, glancing at her friends. “Just me and her,” she added, pointing to another girl. “We’re looking at either public health or international relations.”

“Those two are trying to land internships before graduation,” she added, nodding toward the other pair.

“And you?” I asked the only guy in the group.

He grinned. “Honestly? I’m just trying to get a job. I’m broke and confused and my GPA isn’t exactly recruiter-friendly.”

The girl next to him laughed. “He’s being dramatic. He’s not that bad, but he’s also not wrong.”

“Well, you’re all exactly the type of people we work with. Career prep doesn’t have to start when you graduate—it starts now,” I said, pulling a business card from my wallet. “Here. Reach out anytime. Whether it’s internships, networking tips, or just figuring out your options, I’m happy to talk. No pressure.”

“Thanks, Mr. Creek!” they all said in some version or another.

“I’ll let Katherine go over more of the logistics—our sessions, pricing, and how we pair you with mentors based on your field. Oh, and please just call me Creed.”

As I turned to leave, the guy from earlier squinted at the card.

“Wait… is Creek Forest Harashi your real name?”

“It is.”

“That’s actually sick.”

I chuckled. “Appreciate it. Good luck, guys.”

They gave a small wave as I headed back toward my office.

If they were seniors, they were only a couple of years younger than me, really. But being a dad made me feel older. Way older.

I’d gotten married right after college. Most of my friends were just now starting to get serious about relationships—none of them had kids yet.

“You sound like you regret growing up early,” Yuki teased when I mentioned it over the phone.

“I don’t regret it,” I said. “But sometimes I look at students just starting their lives and wonder, damn… when did I become the adult in the room?”

“Bro, you’ve still got a baby face,” Yuki said. “You wanna talk about aging? I’ve been doing job sites in the sun for years. A new intern bowed to me last week because he thought I was older. He’s 29. Twenty-nine, Creek. You believe that shit?”

I laughed. “How’s Melanie?”

“Still arguing with me daily, same as always.”

“You guys have been like that since high school. When are you finally getting married?”

“Give me a break,” he groaned. “Let me save up first. Maybe in a year or two. What about your little guy? Doing okay?”

“Yeah, Forest is great. Tell Mel she’s welcome to come by anytime. Tomorrow, even.”

“Cool. I’ll ask her. What’re you up to now?”

“On my way to the condo. Got a meeting with the contractor.”

“Nice. I gotta run—visiting family in Edison. Don’t want my mom nagging me for being on my phone.”

“Alright, talk later.”

I ended the call and leaned back in the driver’s seat.

Yuki was my closest friend since middle school. Melanie, his girlfriend, had always been one of my closest friends too—and Skye’s. We used to go everywhere together, just the four of us. But after Skye passed… nothing was ever the same. I talked less. Went out less. Shrunk back, even from the people who knew me best. My parents kept nudging me to move forward. To live again. But I hadn’t figured out how.

Not yet. Because I still hadn’t let go of Skye. And the pain of losing her still hadn’t let go of me.
When I arrived at the condo, I called the contractor I was scheduled to meet. He told me he’d be running a little late. I took the chance to check in with Mom.

“His grandma’s holding him now,” she said, referring to Forest. “But we’ll be putting him down for a nap soon.”

“What about Dad?”

“Still out with your brother. And how’s everything on your end? Did the contractor show?”

“Not yet. Said he’s behind schedule.”

“Oh? What time are you coming home then?”

“Probably a little later. It’s already past one,” I said, glancing at my watch.

“Alright, no problem. Just don’t forget to eat lunch, okay? Don’t get so wrapped up in work that you forget to take care of yourself.”

“I won’t, Mom.”

After hanging up, I headed downstairs to the café on the ground floor.

The condo complex was divided into three sections, each with a different price range. The most affordable was called The Row, mine was mid-range—The Park—and the luxury side was The Villas, with the biggest units and highest prices. It was a well-planned community and conveniently connected to a nearby shopping plaza.

Dad had bought the unit for me and Skye as a wedding gift, back when construction first started. It was finished now, and people were gradually moving in.

But after Skye passed, our place remained half-furnished, empty.

Three months ago, I finally picked up the pieces and started decorating again.

Now, most of it was done—just a few final touches: wallpaper for the bedroom, fresh paint in the living room, new curtains, and delivery of the larger appliances like the TV, fridge, and a living room A/C unit I decided to add last minute.

While waiting for my food, I sipped my tea and watched people passing by outside. I didn’t pay them much attention… until I noticed a young man pushing a stroller along the sidewalk. He looked to be around my age.

He stopped at one of the benches, sat down, and pulled out a small hand fan, waving it gently over the baby inside. He was smiling—completely at ease. Playful.

I caught myself watching him for longer than I meant to.

Then he looked up and caught my gaze.

I quickly turned away, flustered. Didn’t want him thinking I was staring.

A minute later, I glanced back. He was holding his baby now, rocking them gently—and he saw me again. This time, he gave me a small smile. I gave him a shy nod in return.

Just then, a woman—probably his partner—walked over, took the baby into her arms, and they walked off together toward The Row.

I couldn’t help but think... that could’ve been me. That should’ve been me.

I let out a soft sigh and shook my head, trying to clear the thought.

By the time I finished eating, it was almost two. I checked the time and tried calling the contractor again—no answer. I placed my phone back on the table with a sigh.

The bell above the café door jingled suddenly.

“Hey sis, can I get an iced coffee to go?” a familiar voice rang out loudly.

A few customers looked up—including me.

The barista laughed. “You scared me, hon! Still in a good mood, huh? Something good happen today?”

“Maybe a little something,” he grinned—and that’s when he turned and saw me.

“Hey! No way!” we said in unison.

It was the college kid from the office earlier that day.

“Creek! Hey, bro!” He walked over with a grin and gave me a quick wave. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Same here. You live in this building?”

“Yup. Just moved in three days ago,” he said, beaming.

“Three days and you're already best friends with the café owner?”

He laughed. “I’m kind of obsessed with her iced coffee. I come here like three, maybe four times a day. She knows me now.”

“Probably helps that you’re friendly,” I said with a half-smile.

“Nah, I’m shy, I swear. Barely make eye contact. Quiet, even.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Really.”

“Truuuust me.”

I chuckled. “Alright, if you say so.”

He was the kind of guy you noticed right away—outgoing, cheerful, and, if I’m being honest, charming in that effortless way that made people like him instantly. Chinese American, with short dark hair and those brown, alert eyes, tall and athletic, carrying himself with a hint of cockiness. The kind that probably had girls lining up, even if he barely noticed.

“Oh man, I didn’t even ask before sitting down,” he said suddenly. “I didn’t mean to crash your lunch.”

“You’re good,” I said, waving it off. “I was basically done anyway. So, who are you living with? Parents? Roommate?”

He laughed. “Nope, just me. No girlfriend either, if that’s your next question.”

I gave a small nod, then my phone buzzed. The contractor had arrived—finally. He apologized profusely and said he was waiting outside.

“I’ve got to go meet someone about the unit,” I said, standing up.

“No worries.” Then, to the barista: “Hey! Add his lunch to my tab, please!”

I raised my eyebrows. “You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he grinned.

I smiled, surprised but amused by how smooth and generous he was.

After paying, I waved goodbye and left the café to meet the contractor out front. We went over the details—timelines, materials, updated costs. It took longer than expected, and by the time we wrapped up, it was almost 4 p.m.

I drove home right after.

At dinner, we sat around the table—me, Dad, Mom, and Woody, my older brother.

“So how’d it go at the condo?” Dad asked, spooning some rice onto his bowl.

“Not bad. The pricing’s still in line with what we talked about. Should be fine.”

“You still planning to move in once it’s done?” Woody asked.

I glanced over and caught Mom giving me the side-eye.

“Probably not,” I said. “I mean, who’s gonna watch Forest during the day? I’ll just use the place off and on for now.”

“You should spend the night there sometimes. Might come in handy if you… entertain a lady friend or two.”

“Woody,” I groaned, rolling my eyes. “No.”

“I’m just saying—your face isn’t exactly working against you, bro. Might as well get back out there.”

“Oh, stop,” Mom said, swatting Woody with her napkin. “Don’t encourage him. Forest’s not even around and you’re already being inappropriate.”

“It’s just reality, Mom,” Woody said. “He’s young, he’s single. He deserves to get out and live a little.”

Here we go again—my brother’s “love and sex” philosophy.

Woody was ten years older than me, married with a six-year-old son and firmly past his wild phase. My sister, Dawn, was seven years older. She was married too, though they didn’t have kids. She’d taken her nephew to an amusement park today and planned to keep him overnight.

“I don’t want that kind of daughter-in-law,” Mom muttered.

“Let’s not go there,” I said, exhaling. “I’m not ready for anything like that. I’m not interested in dating, or meeting anyone. Skye hasn’t even been gone a year yet. Please don’t push me like that.” I sighed. “And besides, who would even want a single dad with a baby? I’d rather just focus on Forest for now and keep things simple.”

Everyone fell quiet for a moment. I could feel the tension ripple around the table.

“I agree with Creek,” Dad said at last. “When a man really loves someone, that love doesn’t just disappear. That’s the kind of loyalty we should all aim for.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“But,” he added gently, “you also can’t live in the past forever. Maybe not now. But someday, if someone good comes along—someone who loves you and your son—don’t be afraid to open your heart again. Remember that.”

I nodded. “If that kind of person ever shows up… and if I’m ready. I’ll try.”