Shh! - 1. Last Chance

"If you're still wondering what to get me for a graduation gift -." Miles Standifer stepped underneath the awning above the entrance to the campus library and wrestled his umbrella closed. He shook water from it and tossed it into a nearby trash barrel. "Get me a fucking umbrella. Mine is shot to hell."

"I'm not going to buy you an umbrella," his best friend since the third grade, Ashley Reeves, spoke from the other end of the line. "You're about to be a college graduate in less than 24 hours which means you will officially be an adult. As an adult, you can buy your own damn umbrella. Besides, I've already got your graduation present, and I plan on giving it to you at the party tomorrow."

Miles looked over his shoulder. The sky was dark and filled with so many clouds the full moon was completely obscured. The rain came down in sheets and he thought he heard thunder rumbling in the distance. His eyes dipped down to see the front of his long-sleeved sweatshirt and matching gray sweatpants were damp. His hair was plastered to his forehead. He didn't need a mirror to know he looked like a drowned rat.

He cleared his throat and said, "I was thinking maybe we could finally try that new Korean place you've been yapping about for weeks now."

"No, Miles - we are not skipping out on your party."

Miles rolled his eyes so hard he swore he could hear them moving around inside his head. "Technically the party is for He Who Shall Not Be Named."

"Last time I checked both your names were on the invite."

"Well, those invitations were made before Trevor decided to pull the plug on our relationship." Miles chewed his bottom lip as he ran his thumb across the spine of the weathered book in his hand. He checked his smartwatch and saw he had about ten minutes before the library closed. He switched his phone from his right ear to his left and said, "Hey - I'm about to turn in this book and then I'm gonna head over to Derek's. Wanna do breakfast in the morning?"

"Sure thing," Ashley said. "But let's make it brunch instead."

"Deal. I'll text you about 9ish."

"Sounds good. 'Night, Miles."

"Sweet dreams, Princess." Miles smiled to himself as he slipped his phone inside his pocket. He reached out and placed his hand on the rusted doorknob. It suddenly hit him this would most likely be the last time he would be here. In many ways the library, which sat at the center of the relatively small campus, had been more of his home than the dorm he'd been living in since freshman year. Seriously, how many naps had he taken in that one corner on the fourth floor that no one seemed to know about? He'd even worked the circulation desk on the main floor a few semesters back as part of his work-study program.

Miles took a deep breath and pushed open one of the heavy front doors. He was greeted by a blast of frosty air that bristled the hairs on the back of his neck. Then he was hit with the smell. It was a smell that reminded him of a packed attic on a hot summer day. Or a basement that was prone to occasional flooding. It was a smell he found oddly comforting - like a fuzzy blanket on a rainy afternoon.

The place was pretty dead. He made a beeline for the front desk where a guy in a Metallica t-shirt was busy scanning a stack of books. Miles sat his overdue book on the counter and waited for the guy to acknowledge him. He glanced over his shoulder and saw a mousy girl with hair that was too black to be natural sitting on a bench next to the elevators. She looked like she'd been caught in the same downpour as he had. He looked back at the guy working the front desk and saw the name badge hanging around his neck. Josh, no last name.

When the last book in the pile was scanned, Josh, no last name, lifted his head and smiled at Miles. While short and blond was typically not his type, Miles couldn't help but notice how nice his eyes were. A mixture of blue and gray and green. The beard that shrouded the lower half of his face was a bit much, but it wasn't exactly a turn off. At least it didn't obscure his lips which were thin and kissable.

"You turning in?" he asked, his voice surprisingly deep for his diminutive stature.

"Yeah," Miles answered sliding the book across the counter towards Josh. "How much do I owe?" Hopefully not an arm and leg, he wanted the add. The book was old, like seriously ancient, and hadn't been that useful at all when he was writing his final paper for his History of the English Language class. The university should cut him a check just for bringing it back.

Josh lifted the book and flipped it over to look at something on the back cover. He then said, "I'll check on that for you. Just a sec."

Miles gave him a slight nod and then looked back over his shoulder. The main floor of the library was designated as the research floor. There were several private and group study rooms peppered throughout and a small theater where old movies could be screened. At the center of the floor were several state-of-the-art computers and printers. Back when the hard drive on his Dell laptop had been wiped out by a virus courtesy of all the porn his roommate had downloaded behind his back, he'd relied heavily on those computers to get his assignments done until he'd been able to buy a new laptop.

Two girls, one with long braids and the other with a short, black pixie cut, were sitting side by side at a pair of computers, their backs to him. He then saw a girl he recognized from his Conversational Spanish class talking to some frat bro type next to a row of vending machines. He was about to turn around to see if Josh was finished finding out how much he owed when he caught movement out of the corner of his right eye. He turned his head just in time to see the dreamiest guy on campus emerge from the men's room. Tall, a bit on the heavier side but he sorta dug that, and a thick head of dark hair he'd imagined running his fingers through on more than one occasion.

Miles placed a hand to his chest as his heart hitched. He could feel the blood pounding inside his veins. He felt around inside his pocket until he found his phone. He pulled it out and fired off a quick text to Ashley who was probably in the middle of getting ready for bed soon.

Miles: "He's here!!!!!"

Approximately thirty seconds later he got a response.

Ash: "Who???? Trevor?? Ur still at the library?"

Miles: "No, he's not here. Yes, I'm still at the library. Dr. V sighting!!! He's here! Like less than 50 feet away."

Ash: "Why are u messaging me? GO TALK TO HIM!!!"

Miles: “What?? I can't talk to him!"

Ash: "Why not?? You've been poppin boners for the guy for three years. Now's the perfect time to talk to him."

Miles: "He's a professor!"

Ash: "Yeah, and as of this afternoon u are no longer his student."

Miles glanced up and looked over at his former professor, longing etched into his features. Dr. Benjamin Vogel had been his creative writing professor for three semesters straight as well as his advisor since he declared his English major sophomore year. Miles couldn't quite put a finger on why he was so enamored by the man. Maybe it was his cologne which lingered in the air for just a bit whenever he walked away. Or perhaps it was because he favored crisp button-down shirts, no tie, with the top few buttons undone offering a peek at his untrimmed chest.

Miles: "I can't. It would be too weird."

Ash: "The only thing weird here is u talking to me when u should be talking to him. Who knows?? Maybe he wants to jump ur bones as much as u want to jump his."

Miles: "Are u suggesting I seduce my professor?"

Ash: “Miles ... I love u. I'm turning off my phone now. Can't wait to hear all about it over brunch. Night!!!!"

Miles made a sputtering noise with his mouth as he read over her final text. He looked back over at Dr. Vogel and saw him stuffing a stack of papers inside the same worn-out messenger bag he carried with him.

"It says you owe thirty-three dollars and sixty-one cents."

Miles turned and saw Josh staring into the computer screen in front of him. He immediately reached for his wallet inside his back pocket. If thirty-three bucks and some change was all that was standing between him and his diploma, then he would happily pay it.

As he slid his debit card across the counter, Josh looked up and smiled. "Actually - it says here that this is your first overdue book. Looks like I can waive the fee. It'll take me just a second."

Miles returned his smile and said, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Josh slid his card back across the counter and turned back to the computer. After a few moments of typing and clicking, he looked up at Miles and said, "Done. The overdue fee has been waived and I sent an email to my boss to have the hold on your account removed. It should be taken care of first thing in the morning."

"That's awesome." Just in time for him to walk across the stage tomorrow afternoon. "I appreciate you taking care of that for me."

Josh waved his hand as if he were swatting a pesky insect and added, "It was no problem. You graduating tomorrow?"

Miles nodded and added, "Finally. The past few years have dragged by but a part of me wishes I had another semester. The real world is just around the corner and I'm not ready to face it yet."

"Yeah, that's how I felt. I took a year off to go work for my stepdad and I realized I wasn't quite ready to start adulting. So, I took my GRE last summer and by fall I was enrolled in grad school. Hopefully that will give me some time to get my shit together."

"I thought about going to grad school, but I figured I needed to work on getting rid of some of this student loan debt."

"I hear you," Josh said. "That's why I work here as much as I can. Everything I make goes towards rent and paying off my undergrad degree."

The two of them turned their heads towards the main entrance when the bells in the nearby student center started to clang. It was midnight which meant it was time for campus to start shutting down.

"Well, I hope everything goes well tomorrow," Josh said. "Will you be sticking around for a bit?"

"Yeah - I'm supposed to move in with my friend Derek and hopefully I start hearing back from some of the jobs i put in applications to." Miles hung his head and added, "There's no way I'm moving back home. I like having freedom."

Josh laughed and said, "Well, maybe I'll see you around. If you don't happen to hear back from anyone, I hear we have a few positions open here."

Miles tapped his index finger against his temple and said, "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, um ... Josh."

"You're welcome. Have a good night."

Miles slowly backed away from the desk and bumped into something solid. He jumped at the sudden contact and spun around to apologize to the person. He looked down and saw his hand on the man's sturdy bicep. He flicked his gaze upward until they met a familiar, brown-eyed gaze.

"Mr. Vogel," he gasped, yanking back his hand like his former professor was a hot stove.

"Mr. Standifer - fancy running into you here. Thought you'd be out. Celebrating your freedom."

Miles tugged at the neck of his sweatshirt and looked down at the red Converse sneakers on his feet. "I -." He coughed and cleared his throat. "I was returning a book."

""Ah, tying up loose ends I see."

Miles forced himself to meet the other man's gaze. "Something like that.”

Mr. Vogel smiled at him. His teeth were so even. And so white. Nary a coffee stain to be found. An indeterminable silence fell between them as they both watched each other. After what felt like an eternity, Mr. Vogel cleared his throat and patted the bag hanging at his side.

"I should probably get home," he said. "My dog's probably wondering where I am."

Miles nodded and said, "I should probably get going, too." Neither of them made a move until the rumble of thunder rattled the building. The two of them look over just in time to see a flash of lightning through the front window.

"Not looking forward to driving home in that," Mr. Vogel muttered to no one in particular. He glanced at Miles and added, "Be safe heading in."

"You, too," he said, doing his best to fend off his nerves. "Sir." The moment the word left his mouth, Miles wanted to find the nearest table and crawl underneath it.

Mr. Vogel sent him another smile before turning in the direction of the front entrance. Miles watched him as he moved towards the heavy double doors. Even from the back, everything about the man was so ... sexy. He imagined himself wrapping his arms around those massive shoulders.

Then it occurred to him that maybe this would be the last time he ever saw the man. And that made him sad. Realistically speaking, it wasn't like he'd ever have a shot with the guy - but maybe at least they could get to know each other. Become friends. That was allowed now.

"Mr. Vogel." The words tumbled out of his mouth before he even has a chance to register he'd said them. The sudden outburst drew the attention of those close by, including his former professor.

He watched as Mr. Vogel slowly turned his head in his direction. He felt his heart pounding in his ears and his whole body felt like it was on fire. As his former professor regarded him with curiosity, he considered his next words carefully.

It was now or never.