Breaking Quincy - 4. Chapter 4 - Realizing

Breaking Quincy: Realizing

My name is Quincy Kat, and to say I'm in agony would be a vast understatement.

Asher had kept his word, just as he always had. Over the weekend, I clung to my phone, praying for the call or text that never came. Whenever him and I were on AIM or Facebook together, I'd burn holes in the screen, staring at his name, begging for the little pop! sound of him messaging me.

It was Monday afternoon, now. Asher had made a clear point of being abset from 1st period, which we share, as well as missing from lunch. It second that ticked by was another crack in my heart.

The school bell ended. I hadn't talked to Asher in three whole days, now. I made my way into the locker room, sitting on the bench near my locker. It was swim practice. Varsity practiced after JV, so there'd be no chance of running into Asher her, either.

As I slipped on my deep blue speedo, I tried to assess the situation: Asher was gone. It was over. I had to start accepting that fact. I could tell this was going to be a good practice. I was going to swim my heart out, let my mind go blank and focus on the water slapping around me.

The locker room was cold and I shivered. Part of me was excited to go out into the hot sun and jump into the pool. With some sort of hope, I pushed open the door of the locker room. The sun blinded my eyes, and I soaked up every ray I could before letting my pupils adjust.

Then I spotted him.

Asher stood there, by the diving boards, talking with the coach. He was just as he'd always been. His blonde hair, now dry, hung shaggy around his face. His gesticulated with his hands, causing his gorgeous biceps to flex as he talked. He looked like a god. I saw my best fr- no, my ex best friend, and any bandages that were on my heart quickly ripped away.

To keep from crying out, I placed my hand over my mouth and quickly turned around, bursting back into the locker room. Seeing Asher again had completely thrown off my game mind-set. I collapsed onto the bench, doing everything in my power to regain control.

I heard the locker room open, and my chest fluttered. Asher? I looked up, eyes hopeful.

It was not Asher.

Parker Owen grinned, sitting down next to me. Parker was the captain of Varsity. He was 18, with a tan, sun-kissed skin that seemed to glow. He looked more mature than the rest of us; he had a soft 5-o'clock shadow that seemed to drive the girls wild. Handsome, they called him. Rugged. His looked like the sexy outdoorsmen you'd want to get lost on a hike with.

Plus, he looked amazing in a speedo.

"You not coming to practice?" Parker asked, his voice seductive and warm. I looked down at my feet, curling my toes nervous.

"Sick." I replied, not wanting to talk to anyone right now, let alone Parker. He scooted closer to me, and I suddenly felt deathly uncomfortable.

"You're a bad liar, Kat." Parker always called me by my last name. "A bad liar about everything." Suddenly, the captain grabbed my wrist and yanked me down. I would have gasped, had his lips not been in the way.

He kissed me then, hard and heavy. It was intense, and I struggled in his grasp. I didn't want to kiss him. Asher was the only one I wanted!

Parker moved to bite my ear. Not nibble. Bite. When Asher was on my ear, it felt like a river of hot passion. When Parker bit my ear, it felt like a cold, dark pain.

I wasn't sure what was happening- it was all going to fast. He started to kiss down my neck, his lips gliding over my shoulder, dragging his teeth along. I felt tears spring to my eyes. This was it. I had lost Asher. I might as well become a gay whore. What did it matter, anyways? Perhaps this was all I was good for. I was unlovable.

I was a lamb. Parker was a lion. I gave into hopelessness as he bite my nipple, tugging at the pink stub. Nothing about his movements was tender or passionate. I winced, gripping the bench, accepting what was to come.

He continued his assault down my chest, sucking at my chest and abs, leaving behind a trail of red hickies. His tongue slide over the waistband of my speedos, dipping underneath to tease the sensitive skin above my shaft.

I felt his fingers wrap around the sides of my speedo, and he started tugging. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I want this, I told myself. He was right- I was a bad liar.

There was a sudden commotion, a sliding of feet and a shuffle of hands. My eyes flew open. What I saw before me took my breath away, and my arms went weak.

"Leave." Asher's words were firm, harsh. I could hear the fire behind them. He had Parker by the hair, holding him. His muscles were tense, veins throbbing. Asher was much stronger than the lean captain, and it obviously not a fair fight.

Parker shoved Asher's hand away, scowling as he headed to the door. He was an asshole, but he wasn't an idiot. "I'll leave the lovers alone," he hissed lowly with more than a pinch of contempt.

Asher's aggression was now on me. "What!?" He yelled, body language screaming how upset he was. He took a step towards me and I scrambled up off the bench. "What now, Quinc? You just go off hooking up with anyone you see? What the hell?" I was stepping back, my hands shaking. I could see the adrenaline coursing through his blood. "So, what? You're just a slut? How long has that been going on?"

Wait, what right did he have? I felt anger boil inside me, and I lashed out. "You fell off the face of the earth!" I shrieked, fists in balls. I could hear my words echo off the walls. "What the fuck do you want from me? You cuddle with me one moment, then you're gone. You're in my shower, then you're not my friend. What the fuck do you want?" I was panting, cheeks red, eyes wet. I sounded angry, but the truth was, I was hurt.

Asher was quiet. I saw the tension leave from his muscles, and he flopped onto a nearby bench. He rested his elbows on his thighs and his face in his hands. I sat on the bench across from him, still trembling with aggression.

"What do you want from me?" I heard him mutter into his hands. He lifted his hand, running his fingers through his smooth golden hair. "How do you think I'm doing? One day, you're my best friend. The next, I don't know what you are. And I have all these weird thoughts. And feelings. And urges. And…" His voice trailed off, eyes falling to the side. "And I'm scared."

God, I had been a jerk. Here I was, feeling sorry for myself, without giving even a thought to what Asher must have been feeling, I reached out, resting my hand on his cheek.

My blue eyes studied his face. I wanted to remember him like this: vulnerable, real, and god-damn stunning. It was too much for me and I leaned in, pressing my lips to his.

He pulled back at first, flinching. Then he cupped my cheeks with both hands, drawing me in tight. I have kissed many people before, but nothing like this.

Our tongues wrestled in my mouth, fighting to pin each other down. His hands slide into my hair and held fast, keeping my lips against his. I bit softly at his lower lip, arms draped over his shoulders. Our heads pushed against each other, our lips trying to keep up with the intensity and passion that flowed between us.

I pulled back, catching my breath, light-headed from how fast my heart was racing. I could tell he was in shock, too.

"So, about Parker…" Asher said, clearly asking. I chuckled and shook my head. He smiled back at me, a look of relief washing over his face. "You know, my parent's are staying with my grandparent's tonight." He said nonchalantly, standing up. I looked up at him with adoring blue eyes. Asher laughed and ruffled my hair, like old times. "That means you're sleeping over tonight."

"But!" I protested playfully, shoving him away. I, too, was overcome with relief. "But it's a school night!"

"Oh, I forgot we were twelve years old. " Asher rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "Tell your mom you have an exam. I'll help you…. Study." Now it was Asher who blushed as he talked. I could tell what he meant by study, and I let out a soft whimper.

"Asher…" I started, moving close to his side. "Promise me you won't disappear again?"

"Only if you promise not to let any hot captains blow you off," he retorted. I nodded, feeling the flutter in my chest again.

He licked his lips, sending shivers down my spine. I'm sure Asher knew the power he had over me. He must have, because as he left, he said, "See you tonight, Quincy." The sound of lust and teasing in his voice knocked me over, and I knew I was in deep.