Don't Look Back - 37. Chapter 37 (7.4)

Hard and swift. Just the way Marshall wanted and needed their lovemaking to be.

He lost himself in Lee, in the short hard strokes with which he pounded him into sweet oblivion. Lee held Marshall’s legs in a firm grip, so Marshall took other matters into his own hands. He stroked his cock until he reached the precipice and then pushed himself over, crying Lee’s name as he came. Lee continued to push inside him until he too reached the point of no return and filled Marshall with his hot seed. Afterward, spent, they wound their arms around one another and cuddled as they caught their breath.

“Happy anniversary, Lee,” Marshall murmured, basking in the contented glow that stretched from one end of his body to the other.

“Back atcha,” Lee replied. He lowered his head to tenderly nuzzle at Marshall’s neck. “Never forget,” he said softly, “I want to spend forever with you, and only you…”

“Me too,” Marshall affirmed. He breathed a long sigh of relief and relaxed into Lee’s love.

* * * *

Three weeks after their anniversary, it was time for Thanksgiving. This was a holiday they always spent with Roy, who joined them at their home for the occasion. Everyone had his part to play in preparing the meal. Lee roasted the turkey in the smoker, Marshall was responsible for side dishes and keeping the kitchen clean, while Roy’s job was to provide dessert. Usually he brought a traditional pumpkin pie and whatever else tickled his fancy at the grocery store. And of course there would be plenty of beer. And football. Texas A&M was playing LSU that night, and they wouldn’t miss that game for the world.

A light drizzle fell late morning, but Marshall knew a little bit of water wouldn’t keep Lee from smoking the turkey. The smoker was under the overhang at the back of the house, well out of harm’s way. Despite the drizzle, the temperatures were pleasant, especially for November. Marshall couldn’t help but remember the deep snow that had often blanketed Fargo, and how much he’d hated it as a kid. Of course, that had a lot to do with the life he’d led with his mother.

Marshall hadn’t been able to stop worrying since he’d found out about the You Tube video of him and Lee, despite his best efforts not to think about it. He watched Lee for any sign that something was wrong, but Lee didn’t show any evidence he was concerned about anything. Neither did Roy, come to think of it. Roy knew all about them, and obviously knew the circumstances of Marshall’s kidnapping, since he’d been the one to help rescue him. He’d be the one Lee would turn to if there were any trouble. Marshall knew Roy was looking into things for them, but so far he didn’t seem to have found anything.

“Hey, want another beer?”

Marshall was so lost in thought he hadn’t heard Lee enter the living room until he was at his elbow. Marshall glanced at the bottle in his hand. It was empty. “Yeah, sure, why don’t I get one?” He took a step toward the kitchen, but Lee stopped him, sliding his arms about Marshall’s waist.

“What’s wrong? You look like you’re out in the ozone somewhere. And I don’t think it’s football you’re thinking about, either. Or turkey.” Lee looked deeply into Marshall’s eyes, as if searching for answers there.

“When did you know you were gay?” Marshall blurted out. Lee’s eyebrows arched.

“Well, I’m not sure I am gay, if you want to be technical. People might say I’m bi more than gay.”

“You mean because you married a woman and had a child?”

“Yeah, that has something to do with it, sure.” Lee nodded. “With me, it’s not about body parts, or who fits where. It’s people, if that makes sense.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Marshall said slowly. “I was just wondering… I mean…” But he couldn’t get the words out; they stuck in his throat. He wasn’t even sure he really wanted to know. He was treading in dangerous waters here, subjects generally not discussed between them. But they were burning a hole in his brain right now.

“Ask me anything,” Lee encouraged him. “Anything at all.” He raised one hand and gently stroked Marshall’s cheek.

“Did you ever love her?” Marshall’s voice came from far away. He dropped his eyes, half afraid of what he might see.

Lee didn’t answer right away, and Marshall tensed in his grip, until he heard Lee take a deep breath and clear his throat. He looked up.

“I’d like to say yes, but I think that would be a lie. I don’t think I loved her any more than she loved me. We just ended up together because… well, because it was a small town, we were both there, and we thought it was a good idea at the time. And it worked for a little while.”

“Did you get married because of me?”

“We got married because it seemed the thing to do. I didn’t exactly have a choice. Her old man had a shotgun, and he knew how to use it. But don’t ever think I didn’t want you, ‘cause I did. And I wanted to make us work as a family, I really did. I tried. Damn hard. But she wasn’t exactly the domestic type.” Lee shrugged.

Marshall knew that only too well, didn’t he? She’d never been a real mother to him, and in all of his memories of her, she seemed more annoyed with him than anything. Like she didn’t know what to do with him, and didn’t want to find out. Most of the time, she just wasn’t there. And that’s the way he liked it. He realized that he wanted it to stay that way.

“What if she finds us?” he fretted. “What if she comes here?”

“We’ll deal with it.” Lee kissed him.