In a Moment - 4. Chapter 4

“Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean this river is toxic right?” Ryan asked as he stared skeptically at the boat Chris was trying to coax him into.

“Ry, chill. You’re not gonna fall out or anything. Besides, there are shots for everything if you do fall in, hehe,” Chris joked.

Ryan, still hesitant, acquiesced. “Alright...but if mutate into some horrible monster, you know who gets it first!”

Rolling his eyes as Ryan climbed into the boat, Chris responded, “You’ll have to get in line. I think all those bodies I dumped have first dibs on knocking me off.”

“You’re weird...you know that right?”

“Absolutely.”

“Ok, just checking.” A few moments later, the bantering duo shoved off and began rowing their way down the Charles.

That particular Friday afternoon, Chris and Ryan both had some free time and since it was pretty quiet and surprisingly not crowded, Chris suggested they take a boat out on the river while they had the chance. Winter...or at the very least unpleasant cold and wet weather...always came too quickly and both Chris and Ryan were always keen on spending time outdoors while it was nice.

After rowing for a few minutes, the boat was securely in a current, so Chris pulled up the oars and the two drifted along, enjoying the experience. Few words were exchanged while they soaked up the pretty scenery along the river. As Chris was staring out over to the banks on the Boston side, Ryan, almost nonchalantly, interjected a question.

“So exactly how long are you going to avoid Adam?”

The question caught Chris a little off guard...he quickly turned around and let out a confused, “Wha?”

Ryan chuckled as he turned away from the water to face Chris. “Dude, it’s been like a week since the two of you actually hung out. He’s getting worried.” Chris was slightly perplexed...especially given that he and Adam were roommates and saw each other constantly.

“Um...last time I checked, I still lived with him and spent a lot of time with him...and why do you know about this??” Chris asked, a little surprised to be hearing this out of Ryan rather than, say...Adam.

“Haha, well he felt like he could talk to me...just don’t tell him I told you, heh. But anyway, yeah you live together, but he said he felt like you were avoiding him...as much as possible anyway.” Cocking an eyebrow, Chris thought it over. As he mentally inventoried his activities over the past week, he realized that indeed he hadn’t been around as much. A couple nights he had ended up crashing with Justin in his dorm after they had hung out...and he had gone to a few study groups and such that Adam wasn’t involved in.

“Well...come to think of it...I guess I wasn’t around as much this last week. I don’t know why he’d think I was intentionally avoiding him though. I’m pretty sure I acted like I was happy to see him...I mean I was happy to see him whenever I saw him...if that makes any sense,” Chris rambled.

Ryan laughed and just shook his head. “You two are so clueless.”

“And what do you mean by THAT?”

“Dude, I love you both, but seriously...you guys are just dense. So, hopefully this will get through loud and clear...ADAM LIKES YOU!” Ryan practically shouted, cupping has hands around his mouth for amplification.

Chris rolled his eyes. “Subtlety isn’t in your vocabulary is it? And yes, I know he does,” Chris sighed.

“So what’s the problem then? I know you like him...and I was under the impression you and Jase were ‘moving on’ ok.”

“Jase maybe...” Chris muttered.

“Still hung up over him huh?”

“I wasn’t really planning on falling for anyone else.”

“But yet, it happens.”

Chris smirked. “You and your damn logic.”

“Heh, well someone has to be. In any case, would it really hurt to just...I dunno...at least let him know this isn’t one-sided? Seriously, I think he’s gonna have a nervous breakdown...and apparently that’s not healthy or something,” Ryan joked.

“Yeah, yeah, you can spew your ‘premed’ shit all you want.” Chris sighed again. “So since when did you become the group counselor?”

“Since everyone else went nuts.”

“Heh...I guess the truth can’t hurt, right?”

“Well, in this case, I don’t think so. Besides, I spend a lot of time with both of you and eventually the two of you moping will get to me. So, just remember, you’re doing this for the greater good...specifically, my greater good.”

“If you could be any more pompous than that, I’d push you in the river right here,” Chris threatened with a smile.

“I’m taking you with me!” Ryan laughed back as he dove to the other side of the boat, cautiously treading back to the middle after the mutual laughter died down a little.

“Oh hey, are we still on tonight?” Chris asked. He had just recollected that it was Friday night. Ryan and Chris had gotten into the habit of having a party or other get together with some friends whenever schedules allowed...which usually meant Friday or Saturday night. It wasn’t especially original, but they thought it helped keep everyone from going crazy.

“Oh yeah, we need to get some stuff though, I’m pretty low on fluids.”

“Alright then, let’s get this bucket back to land.”

****

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.”

Ian’s tentative response solicited a smile from Chris. He was more accustomed to being the tentative one...Chris had a habit of making friends who were more outgoing and social than he was, so Ian was a bit of a departure from that. Still, Chris thought he was a genuinely nice guy and worth getting to know. So naturally, an invitation to a party seemed like a logical approach.

“Dude, don’t worry about it. Just a warning though, my friends and I are...well, I don’t want to say obnoxious and weird, but you can make your own determinations, haha.”

Ian smiled. “I wouldn’t worry about it. You guys can’t be any worse than my friends back home...please tell me none of you have shotguns.”

Chris’s eyes widened as he chuckled. “Um...can’t say that we do. I have a feeling we’re gonna hear some interesting Texas stories.”

“Haha, yeah probably.”

The two had run into each other in a store in Harvard Square. Chris was hunting for juice and other mixers while Ryan was attending to the harder stuff. Ian spotted Chris trying to carry about half his weight in bottled liquid to the register and offered a hand. The help was duly appreciated as Ian walked back toward the dorms with Chris and the cargo. As they were walking through the door into the dorm, a slight realization hit Chris.

“Oh...um...” he stuttered.

“Something on your mind?” Ian inquired with a warm smile.

“Yeah...” Chris had realized that he hadn’t...well, shown Ian his “rainbow card” yet. He didn’t think Ian would have an issue, but there was always the possibility...also Ian being from Texas didn’t help the supposition. Chris had paused, looking a tad nervous, so Ian decided to break the tension a little.

“I can try guessing if you want, haha.”

Chris’s daze broke as he laughed a little. “Nah, it’s just that...well, you don’t have any qualms about hanging out with gay guys do you?” he asked cautiously.

Ian just laughed. “I guess I’ll have to live down this Texas thing a bit, huh? Haha. But seriously, I don’t care in the slightest. Actually gay guys are great...they’re much easier to get a fashion opinion from than girls.”

“Haha, ok good. So just for reference then, my roommate and I are both gay,” Chris admitted, a little relieved.

“Ah, ok. Well, I may bug you two then if I have a date and I’m nervous about how I look,” Ian joked...at least partially.

“Heh, sounds good.” They reached Chris’s room soon after and set down everything they were carrying. “Thanks again for the help, Ian.”

“No sweat man...besides, I’ll trade manual labor for a party invite any day, hehe.”

“Will do. Well, Ryan should be showing up in a bit, so you’re welcome to just hang out here unless you’ve got something better to do.”

“Hmm...I could start on homework...” Ian contemplated rubbing his chin. A smirk from Chris prompted Ian to say, “Who the hell am I kidding? I’d rather give blood than do that shit early.”

“Good man.” With that, they plopped down in front of Chris’s computer, put some music on and commenced wasting time.

****

Time definitely had a personality as far as Adam was concerned. In his mind, time was like a sadistic child that liked to play with people and make them suffer. This idea was hardly confined to Adam as he sat in his last class of the day...and the week...practically ready to pull his hair out. Fridays were definitely not kind to him. It was nearing six in the evening and he had been in classes for the majority of the day starting at 8 a.m.

“God...please make this end...” Adam thought as the professor dragged on through the lecture. “At this point, I’ll even go to church this Sunday...please?”

Adam wasn’t normally quick to poke fun at praying or at God...but he felt that he was near his wit’s end. His parents tried their hardest to make their children good Christians, but Adam, for more reasons than one, made a conscious effort to not buy into it. While he was relatively certain that his family wasn’t intolerant when it came to homosexuality, he wasn’t as sure about them extending the same tolerance to a “sinner” in the family.

“...and the bond formation is thus exergonic, which allows the reaction to proceed. Alright then, I’ll see you all on Monday...” the professor concluded the lecture.

Adam smirked a little, looked at the ceiling and mouthed, “Thank you,” as he headed out of the lecture hall. As far as Adam was concerned, he and God had a decent relationship...in that Adam did a little here and there to give what he thought was due credit to the almighty while God did a nice job at not making Adam’s life a complete living hell. On that note, he tried...often at his parent’s behest...to go to church every so often and in general he felt that it was a good thing to keep his faith. He wasn’t crazy about religion at that point in his life, but he didn’t feel it was an evil that should be wholly avoided.

As he let his thoughts drift on the way back to the dorm, Adam felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a nice familiar face.

“Hey Adam,” Brad said cheerily as he started walking along.

“Oh hey Brad, didn’t see you there,” Adam responded as the two matched walking pace.

“Yeah well, I’m just stealthy like that, haha. You kinda left class quickly and I had to catch up.”

“Yeah, sorry...I just really really had to get out of there.”

“I know, that was killer...if every lecture ends up like that, I may drop the class...or kill myself, whichever comes first.”

“I was this close to slitting my wrists with my pen,” Adam joked as he held out his thumb and forefinger scarcely apart.

“Haha, I hear that. Oh, by the way, thanks for the help on that homework a few days ago...I would have been better off not handing it in if you didn’t bail me out man.”

Adam smiled warmly. “Ah it’s no problem...it was just confusing.”

“Yeah. So, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight or something...that is if you don’t have any plans already,” Brad asked. His cheery disposition was somewhat refreshing for Adam given his own slightly sullen mood. Normally Adam was annoyed by perky and cheery people, but Brad wasn’t too much to handle.

“Um...” Adam hesitated. The shy, reserved part of his personality usually took over in situations like that.

“Ok before you say no,” Brad began as he chuckled at Adam’s seeming reluctance. “A couple of my hallmates wanted to go out clubbing tonight and I thought that you may wanna join us. Also since you’re a native, I was hoping I could convince you to go so we don’t all get lost, haha.”

Adam smiled at the thought, but his reservations didn’t disappear completely. “Uh, I dunno...I’m not exactly the clubbing type...”

“Adam, buddy, look at me,” Brad solicited. “Do I look like the clubbing type either?” He had some semblance of a point. As he spread out his arms and turned around, Adam could see that Brad was a kinda skinny guy with fussed up hair and glasses...not exactly the spitting image of a clubber.

“Haha, so why are you going then?” Adam asked, amused at Brad’s demonstration.

“Well, to be honest, I’m going for a girl.” Both laughed as Brad continued, “Yeah I know, I know...but still. Oh and on top of it all...I’m not exactly sure how you feel about this, but the gang wants to go to a gay club.” Adam’s eyes went wide...any wider and his eyeballs would have met the pavement. He stopped in his tracks and started turning pale. Brad saw the reaction and, a little concerned, asked, “Yo Adam, are you ok? You look like you saw a ghost or something...”

“Um...Brad...I...uh...” Articulate Adam had left the building, leaving Stammering Adam to fend for himself.

After thinking for a moment, it dawned on Brad. “Oooohhh...dude, are you gay? I mean if you’re not then...oops...but if you are...dude it’s cool. Um, Adam...think you could say something?”

Adam took a few deep breaths to compose himself. “Yeah...yeah I’m gay...sorry, I guess I’m really not used to coming out to people at all,” he admitted, rather embarrassed.

“Haha, man don’t worry about it. Jeez, you scared me for a sec there. Actually, are you single?” Brad asked as something came to mind.

Adam felt like he was continually putting on a shocked look. He had to think about that question for a moment. Deciding to err on the side of the truth, he tentatively admitted, “Um...yeah I’m single...”

“Oh, I’m not hitting on you or anything...I mean, just in case that’s what you’re thinking. Ok, so this girl, Erika, for some reason just loves having gay guys around her, so the gang is basically me, her and two gay guys, plus or minus a couple straight folk here and there.”

A knowing smile crept onto Adam’s face. “Heh, reminds me of one of my friends.”

“Haha...god, I wish I could understand women better, but anyway...one of the guys, Sean, is, from what I’ve been told, quite a catch. Erika has been trying to get him to go out with someone, but he apparently has a moral objection to being set up with anyone by a girl,” Brad explained to a confusion-ridden Adam.

“Heh, so you wanna set him up with me?”

“Well, from what I can tell, you seem like a nice, good-looking guy...as is he...so why not? By the way, keep in mind that even thinking about this is testing my straightness,” Brad jested.

Adam put his face in his hands and laughed. “Well, you’ve got a point there...you really like this girl, huh?”

“Dude, do you think I would be doing this if I didn’t? Gay-matchmaker isn’t exactly my strong suit.”

“At this rate, I’m gonna end up going to your wedding.”

“Haha, yeah that may be the case. So what do you say?” Brad asked with a slight pleading tone.

“Well, I guess I cou...” At that moment, it occurred to Adam that he did have plans already. “Ah shit...um...I sorta do have some plans tonight.”

“Doing what?” Brad beckoned, trying to find a way to talk Adam into going along.

“Um well, my roommate and one of our friends are putting together a party tonight.”

“Aw, come on Adam. I mean, your roomie’s cool and all, but it’s not like you don’t do stuff with him all the time anyway, right? Roommates are hard to ditch sometimes, haha.”

“It’s just that...”

“PLEASE?!” Brad jokingly begged.

Adam rolled his eyes and chuckled, but in his mind, other thoughts were going through. He had felt like Chris had been avoiding him for at least the last week and the usual get together was the perfect excuse to hang out and spend time with him. On the other hand, a part of his mind was telling him to just back off...and that maybe branching out and making some new friends would do him some good. The conflicting thoughts rolled around until one managed to push the other into a ditch after kicking it in the groin.

“Ah hell, why not?” Adam acquiesced.

“YES! THANK YOU!” Brad exclaimed as he pulled Adam into a tight hug...the strictly platonic kind of course.

“Haha, alright that’s enough of that. Oh and if this guy...” Adam trailed off, forgetting the name.

“Sean,” Brad threw in.

“Right, Sean...so if he ends up being an ass, you will so owe me man, haha.”

“Hehe, don’t worry, he’s a nice guy...I’ll make sure of it!”

****

Chris stared out of the window, neck-deep in his own thoughts. There was a slight bustle in the room as several people were already present in preparation for a party. He and Ryan had arranged a few of the little events since the beginning of the school year and they had grown quite popular among their friends. Chris, however, hardly noticed their presence as he looked out over the yard. His reverie was interrupted as a figure sat down next to him and pulled him into an all-too familiar embrace.

“Yo Ace, you ok?”

Chris smiled as he turned to face his friend. Justin’s little pet name always warmed Chris’s heart. “Yeah J, I’m fine, just thinking about some stuff.”

“Uh oh...you and thinking...never a good sign,” Justin joked as he loosened his embrace of Chris and ruffled his hair.

“Heh, yeah there’s some truth to that,” Chris admitted.

“Oh man, you’re agreeing with me...now I’m really worried.” Justin was half-serious. “So what’s on your mind, Ace?”

Chris didn’t even bother answering...he exhaled deeply and just looked into Justin’s eyes. After a moment or two, Justin felt as though Chris had explained his thoughts fully. With more than a decade of being practically inseparable best friends, verbal communication wasn’t always necessary.

“Ah...thinking about Adam huh?”

“I think I’m gonna do it J...”

“You mean tell him?”

“I think I owe him that much...”

“Well you owe yourself something too y’know...I mean, you do want to be with him right?”

“Yeah...I do.”

The conversation pretty much ended there. Justin smiled knowingly and gave Chris a reassuring squeeze. A few glances fell on the two from the various people in the room, but they hardly paid the sight any mind. At that point, none of their friends saw anything unusual in their being physically intimate. While Justin was straight, he and Chris were beyond close and they felt perfectly natural and comfortable being intimate...eight years of sleeping in the same bed can do that to some people. Beyond that, there was just love.

As the bustle picked up, Chris resumed his gaze out of the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of a certain figure approaching.

****

“Chris?” Adam called into the room as he entered. Hearing nothing and seeing that it was completely dark, he realized that the party was in Ryan’s room. “Shit...I guess I should call him then,” he thought. As he flipped open his phone, hesitation took over and Adam didn’t dial. A small shudder passed through him as he shut the phone. “Don’t be so needy...god...he probably won’t even notice.”

Adam threw his phone onto his desk and ducked into his bedroom. A few minutes later, he emerged wearing what he felt were appropriate “clubbing” clothes. He reached to grab his phone and paused. Staring right at his computer, he gave in a little to what he dubbed his “neediness” and quickly sent an instant message to Ryan. Before he could even receive a response, he signed off and headed out the door.

****

Adamonymous42: hey Ry, i’m not gonna make it tonight, i’m going out with a few people from my class, ttyl

Adamonymous42 has signed off

“Shit...” Ryan said under his breath. He took a quick look over to the window...Chris was still sitting there, looking out into the night. Ryan grabbed a drink and downed it quickly. “Well, I guess I better tell him,” he reasoned as he headed Chris’s way.

As he neared the window, Ryan heard Chris speak. “He’s not coming, right?”

Ryan sighed. “No, he’s not.”

Chris turned around and revealed his sullen face to Ryan. “Well, I hope I didn’t blow it.” He got up and walked over to the rest of the group, seemingly joining in the festivities.

Ryan waited a moment before heading over and took one look out of the window for himself. “Guess this is gonna be more complicated than I thought...” Ryan thought, half-chuckling to himself.

****

“Hey Adam! Over here!”

Adam looked around for a moment attempting to locate the voice. He spotted a waving arm attached to Brad and proceeded to walk over.

“Yo man, glad you made it!” Brad greeted him. “Adam,” he began as he pointed to a small group of people. “This is Erika, Tom and Sean. Guys, this is Adam.”

A sound off of “hey’s” followed and the group started walking into the subway station. A few minutes later, they were waiting on the platform for their train. Some small conversation ensued during the wait, with the majority of the talking being done by Erika and Tom. Brad was standing near Erika and entered the conversation to some extent, but Adam and Sean stood slightly further from the rest of the group. They cautiously stole glances at each other as they pretended to pay attention the talking going on. It was abundantly clear to both of them that their friends were trying to set them up, but there weren’t exactly any objections.

Adam was taken aback when he saw Sean. In the back of his mind, Adam had concluded that Sean would probably be average at best as far as looks and hopefully tolerable to talk to for the night. However, he was nicely surprised to find that Brad wasn’t exaggerating...Sean was a looker. Adam couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he was relatively sure that Sean was half-something and half-something else....and it was one of those combinations that just worked perfectly. To Adam, Sean was just stunning...dark brown hair, blue eyes, and smooth facial features. Also, Sean’s “clubbing” clothes nicely accentuated an obviously athletic figure that had Adam stealing second looks.

“I guess this is one way to get my mind off Chris...” Adam thought to himself.

“So...Adam...” Adam’s train of thought derailed as Sean started speaking.

“Wha? Oh, sorry, I was a little out of it there,” Adam said bashfully.

“Haha, yeah...it’s ok. So, um, you’re from around here right?” The start of the conversation was definitely labored, but Adam appreciated the attempt.

“Uh yeah, I live in Quincy, just south of Boston.”

“Ah, cool. So do you know where we’re going?”

“Yeah kinda...I should be able to find my way around ok.”

“Good, good. So...uh...” Sean wasn’t winning any speaking contests that night. Adam was actually happy to see that Sean was a little nervous...both of them being equally nervous leveled the playing field. After a deep breath, Sean stepped a little closer to Adam and in a hushed voice said, “Look, I think we both know what these guys were thinking with us...so it’s probably best for our blood pressure to calm down and try to have fun...sound ok?”

“Um...yeah...that sounds good. I’m not exactly good at being set up I guess, heh...”

“Yeah me neither...but I gotta say...so far this has been a nice surprise,” Sean whispered with a wide smile.

Adam returned the gesture. “Yeah, me too...hopefully it’ll stay a nice surprise, hehe.”

Sean chuckled. “I hope so too.”