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    Sagitta137
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Apocalypse - 1. Chapter 1: Cataclysm

This sets up the story, introducing the protaganist and a few others, as well as the event that runs the plot.

We all sat in class as I tried to focus on the droning teacher's voice on the wonders of Chemistry. I have always had a deep hatred for it and my friends weren't helping me with their constant distractions. Terku (tear-ku) kept poking my shoulder as Ashmara watched, giggling each time I flinched. Had a different person be doing this, I’m certain I would, at the very least, snap their finger backwards, maliciously enjoying the crack of their bone, but not for Terku. Not with his dark brown eyes and seemingly perfect tanned face.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not in love with the little dip-shit, no, I just think he's cute. My love, well he's Ashmara, or Ashi as I've grown accustom to calling him. I could talk about him for hours: from his straight jet black hair that hung over his left eye in a jagged fashion, contrasting brilliantly with his vibrant sapphire-blue eyes and skin that appeared to always be bathed in moonlight. He always wore a thin streak of black eyeliner, making his eyes seem all the more vibrant, and dressed in the typical 'emo' fashion, complete with a studded belt. He was not hardcore though, but rather subdued and restrained; a very sophisticated take on the style, which was all the more reason for my heart to skip-

“Ugh!” I groaned as Terku stabbed me with a pencil, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Good morning sunshine,” he said cheerily as I stuck my tongue at him.

I was about to stab him back when I noticed the room had become silent, as every began to rush towards the windows. I began to feel uneasy, but the urge of curiosity carried me over to the window. From where I was I saw the once bright, cheery sky had been replaced by dark gray clouds, seemingly swirling slowly, with the center of the swirl appearing several miles ahead and to the right. I couldn't see what the center was over as my view was obstructed by several pine trees, which seemed to lean slightly to the right, as though being tugged playfully by a breeze.

Now our location is not known for major storms, but we do get the occasional tornado, and that's what we seemed to assume this was. At least until until our school suddenly lurched to the left and we all toppled as we lost our balance, that is. Just as we regained our balance the school shifted again and again, as the lights flickered and plaster began to fall from the walls and ceiling.

“Shit! Earthquake!” seemed to simultaneously escape the lips of twenty teenagers as our teacher yelled for us to dive under the desks.

Just as he spoke, we heard the wind increase rapidly and the snapping of trees echoed through the school. Suddenly a branch broke off and flew through the window, sending shards of glass raining onto us. I felt a sting as a shard sliced my cheek, but quickly threw myself at Ashi when I saw the branch heading for him. We landed roughly on the floor, but just in time to evade the branch as it sailed over our heads and collided with the teacher, sending him flying towards the door; our only exit. We heard his body crunch as the branch pinned him and watched as he violently coughed blood into the now swirling air. Again the ground shook so as quickly as I could I dragged Ashi and myself under our teacher's desk, and hugged him tightly, trying to protect his face from the debris circulating in the classroom.

With the new tremor the ceiling gave way and beams began to sail down onto us. The first landed in front of our now deceased teacher, leaving our only escape effectively blocked. The second crashed just feet from our small shelter, causing the tilesto fly through the air, hitting some of the exposed students in their face. Quickly the pristine white tiles seemed to become speckled in crimson, and the haunting sounds of bodies falling seemed to overcome the screams and the roar of the violent wind.

All I could do was hold Ashi and pray that this ended quickly. I have never been religious, but doesn't the saying go “there are no atheists in the trenches,” or something like that? The point is I was scared, scared out of my mind, and I felt so completely helpless.

The wind only increased and the gray of the sky was choked out and replaced by black, converting everyone into dark silhouettes to be thrown around like lifeless puppets.. well, I guess at this point some of us were. Then I saw the most brilliant sight: from across the sky, out of the shattered window I saw thick streak of lightning slice across the sky, cutting through the black. I wouldn't have been so amazed by this if there color were just simply white, but instead it seem to shine a florescent blue, and afterwords when the light faded, the gashes in the sky didn’t. Where the lighting tore through the sheet of darkness, a pulsating blue began to appear. It was the same color as Ashi's eyes; a blue like a lake pooled below an arctic mountain. From these streaks blue droplets of light seemed to gently rain down, never swallowed by the blackness, but continuing to twinkle brightly as they fell. It was as though someone had taken a florescent bulb and thrown it against a ceiling.

I could have stared for hours if it were not for Terku's scream that pulled me out of my dreamlike state; the second time he had done this to me today.

“Panah!” he yelled, so shrilly that he didn't take the time to pronounce it correctly. I tried to find him in the darkness, but I just couldn't see him.

“Terku!” I shouted, “What's wrong? Where are you?”

“Panah,” he said it right this time; Pah-nah, clearly feeling less frantic or losing energy.

“Terku!” his sudden change in tone worried me more than his scream.

“My chest,” he said weakly, “my chest..” as his voice faded into the cacophony.

Introduces the characters and the cataclysmic event that forever changes the life of Panah.
Copyright © 2013 Sagitta137; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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First of all this is a great start to your story.

 

Now, I can honestly say that I try to never be critical, and the only reason I am pointing out that you have a few mistakes in spelling etc., is because this is a great chapter, and I was a little distracted by the errors but not enough to be put off the story. Others that write a lot would probably be even more distracted than I was.

 

That being said, I really like the story and for a moment I thought it was the end of the world or something when you were talking about the sky splitting. lol

 

Love your characters and the plot so far. Good job:)

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I like your character names. Sound Finnish but not really sure.

OMG! I was waiting for the four horsemen to come riding in. Pretty devasting scene, for sure. Good job here! thumbsupsmileyanim.gif

You may want to look around for an editor/beta once you're comfortable here

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On 12/01/2012 07:03 AM, Conner said:
I like your character names. Sound Finnish but not really sure.

OMG! I was waiting for the four horsemen to come riding in. Pretty devasting scene, for sure. Good job here! thumbsupsmileyanim.gif

You may want to look around for an editor/beta once you're comfortable here

Haha, thanks they're actually Indonesian based names. They have them for a reason, but i'll explain that later :P And yeah i need to mind an editor, i suck at going over my own stuff 'cause i get bored half way through editing because i already know what's gonna happen, lol.
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On 12/01/2012 06:32 AM, joann414 said:
First of all this is a great start to your story.

 

Now, I can honestly say that I try to never be critical, and the only reason I am pointing out that you have a few mistakes in spelling etc., is because this is a great chapter, and I was a little distracted by the errors but not enough to be put off the story. Others that write a lot would probably be even more distracted than I was.

 

That being said, I really like the story and for a moment I thought it was the end of the world or something when you were talking about the sky splitting. lol

 

Love your characters and the plot so far. Good job:)

Thanks ^^ And i'll try not to make so many mistakes last time, i pretty much posted this right after i wrote it so i didn't feel like editing closely, although that's not to say if i waited that i would edit any better :P

 

And i have not idea what i'm gonna make this all be, lol. I mean, i have some ideas, but with this story i thought it would be more entertaining for me if i write it as i go, so i'm still not even sure how it's gonna end. At least this way i can have people tell me what they want to happen in the future of it ^^

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