A Mutant Lover - 3. Chapter 3

A Mutant Lover III

“Why are you here?”

That was the unasked question every staring student was making every time they looked at me. I saw their piercing glares as I passed them, some of them I felt stabbing me in the back with hatred. I felt like a Muslim after 9/11 or a German after WWII. Being gay wouldn’t help the situation. Bobby was afraid of anyone finding out about us and would jump at the mere sound of someone approaching. I tried talking to him about it but he would just change the subject or get angry. I found myself storming out of the room and spending the day admiring the surrounding areas, just to calm down.

The cities that were ‘cleaned up’ by the sentinels were left devastated and as a result my classes have been continued on the internet. Wally’s parent basically gave him to me when he proved to them he was a mutant. He was happy that I was his legal guardian or big brother as he called me.

Every day my resolve to stay weakened. Wally was my main source of support while Bobby was a source of disappointment. Time passed and nothing changed, my classes were done and the institute had two more weeks before summer vacation. I no longer pressed Bobby but there was an underlying tension between us, cutting away at our relationship.
My times with Bobby were also getting shorter the more people I got to know in the institute. Actually he didn’t introduce me to anyone, Jean and the Professor did. I found it odd that they were short on teachers until the Professor explained that each one gave two academic classes and one training class, except for Logan, Dr. McCoy, and himself. Logan gave combat training to all high school level students. Scott, Jean’s boyfriend, gave the same class to the middle school kids as well as social studies and math. Ororo teaches history to all grades and elemental training. Betsy Babcock, an Asian woman with British accent, gave the middle schoolers English, math to high schoolers, and specialized in psionic training.

Dr. McCoy was the first member of the faculty beside Jean and the Professor that I met. I wanted to get out of the bed but Jean insisted that I follow the Doctor’s orders and stay. I was being stubborn and she decided to get the Doctor. When I saw him walked through the door I would have crapped myself if I wasn’t on a liquid diet. He looked at me and said not to worry that he was harmless. Then Jean said he’s harmless as long as the patients obey. He gave Science classes to all grades. The Professor dedicated his time to teach his own version of social studies to high school kids, giving lessons in ethics and involving the theme of mutants in all sort of social concepts.

Bobby passed most of his time with the TAs, students that already graduated and stayed. They helped lighten the load of the teachers and at the same time helped keep all the students under control. In all this time I never met one of them. After I was allowed to get out of bed I would see them from afar, Bobby among them, and couldn’t help but feel ignored.

Today I chose to eat next to the students instead of teachers’ table, where Bobby was with his friends. They didn’t shun me, they just didn’t trust me. The eerie silence they kept in my presence was very different from the animated conversations I saw from afar. At least from this corner of solitude among the students I felt some normalcy. From time to time I saw Bobby looking at me with sadness in his eyes. I wonder if it was because I was eating somewhere else or because he knew I was unhappy here.

All of a sudden, this guy, I guess he was 17, sat in front of me and asked me that dreaded question. “Why are you here?”

I stared at him for a minute and answered, “Hope.” He looked at me incredulously and got closer to me. His eyes seem to follow a line that went from me straight to Bobby, and disbelieve filled them.

“No way…” he said, “You got to be shitting me, I can’t believe this!” I just sat there wandering with my mouth open what the fuck just happened. Bobby had been so freaked out about being found out that he made certain about it and this guy just looked at me and figured it out?

All the sudden the rambling of the students changed into whispers. I knew it was all about me, the constant glances and few insults were like reliving my last two year of high school. Yet I never expected my own plate of food to fly straight in to my face, followed by random food from all the other tables. I closed my eyes and withstood what felt more than the minute it was that the humiliating barrage lasted.

When I no longer felt lunch hitting me, I whipped my eyes and saw Wally’s force field protecting me from the ongoing food execution. Jean had mentioned that he was a fast learner and naturally adapted to his powers. I looked for Bobby and saw him standing up with a surprise look on his face. He then noticed I was looking at him and he turned his face away. My heart fell to the floor and my body went numb. He didn’t do anything… he didn’t stop it… he just stood there…

I didn't know how long it took for the teachers to stop the students, nor when Wally's force-field was no longer surrounding me. The laughter and yells seem like background noise. I lost focus of this cold and unwelcoming world until I felt a tug on my left arm.

“Ethan, will you be ok?” Wally was looking up at me with his big blue eyes. It was like the air returning to my lungs, but all I could do was nod. “I’ll take you to your room.”

The hot shower worked wonders in my tense body, but it couldn’t stop the emptiness I was starting to feel. As I stepped out of the shower the cold floor sent shivers up my leg, it reminded me of Bobby’s touch. I started to put clothes on but a loud pounding stopped me.

“Open the door, Ethan!” It was Bobby and he sounded angry. That only flared me up and I opened the door. “Why did you do it Ethan? Why did you out me!”

“I didn’t say a thing! That kid just looked at me and he just… figured it out or something! Maybe he’s a telepath, like the Professor!”

“Oh, please, I asked the Professor to make it impossible for a telepath to get to you. Only someone stronger than him could read your thoughts and he’s the world best.”

“And you planed to tell me when?” My anger was seething from my mouth with each word.

“Don’t change the subject!”

“Robert Drake, you sneaky son of a bitch, get the hell out! I don’t want to see you even in painting!”

“This is my home!”

“Then I will!” I tried to force my way out. Bobby grabbed me by the arm and yanked me back.

“You listen to me…”

“Hell no,” I yelled, “I’m getting away from you!” A sharp pain shot through my arm, expanding from his hand, getting higher and higher. I swear my scream must have been herd in the other side of the school. The shock in his eyes reflected the tears running down my face, and he released me. I fell down on my knees holding my right arm; from the end of the deltoid down was light blue.

“I… I – I didn’t mean to…” He tried to get closer to me and he hit an invisible wall. “What the… Hey, let me out!”

“You okay, Ethan?” Wally was kneeling by my side. I sucked some air to hold back the pain and I nodded.

“I just want to get out of here…” I told him. He stood up, went to the closet, and packed me a few clothes in an athletic bag I had.

“Please don’t go, Ethan, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry, please…” Bobby pleaded over and over. I couldn’t even look at him; the pain in arm was becoming a throb and I couldn’t move it.

“I love you Ethan, don’t go…”

“How much do you love me?” I asked suddenly.
“Wha…”

“Do you love enough to stand by me when half the school hates me, enough to ensure me when the table is silent every time I take a seat, to embrace me the whole night without fear of getting caught or hold my hand instead of freezing it?”

“It’s just… so fucking hard. Ethan…”

“I know it’s fucking hard, everyone has trouble with it. That’s why I gave you your space, your time. But all you did was prolong the moment of truth and hurt me in the process.”

“I’m sorry…” he said as he dropped to his knees, the inside of the force field turning whiter. Wally finished with my stuff and helped me up.
“I want to go with you,” Wally quietly told me.

“No, you’re better off in here, with other mutants and safe.”

“Oh, please, this place gets attacked at least once every two months. The other guys told me so.”

“Fine then, go pack some clothes.” He smiled and ran to his room a few doors down. A sudden chill hit my back and made my blue arm throb faster.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” he said over and over again while gripping the leg of my pants. He had become lost and broken, I almost changed my mind. As much as my heart yearned to forgive him, to turn around and hug him, I couldn’t. I wasn’t broken like him, but I was filled with cracks, I couldn’t help him without breaking myself.

“I’m sorry too, but you’re not ready for a relationship and I can’t deal with this right now… Maybe after we get better we can meet again…” He let go of my leg and without giving him a glance I walked away, hearing his sobs and with tears streaming down my eyes.

Wally and I made our way out of the school with no problems. All the teachers were busy talking to individual groups of students, some angry, others worried. None of them noticed us as we calmly went out the front door. It was a good thing the Professor and Jean were outside doing something. We found the gate open and the guy from lunch sitting on the curb. As we got closer he stood up and faced us. He looked oddly at us, like he was trying to read us and couldn’t. Wally giggled and I looked at him, he just smiled sheepish.

“I wanted to apologize about, well, earlier… reading you and stuff,” he said nervously. “I never intended to out you or Bobby. I just got so excited that I broadcasted everything.”

“So you read my mind?”

“Kind of… well I tried, but I couldn’t. It was like trying to connect earphones to a player without a socket. In my frustration my other power acted.”

“Other powers?”

“Yeah, I’m a Psionic with the abilities of telepathy, telekinetic, empathy, and psychometry. My psychometry acted with my telepathy. When I touched the boundaries of your mind I found there was a link that connected you with Iceman.”

“What kind of link?” I asked.

“Don’t know, it was empty. There was no flow of energy in it.” A sudden thought crossed my mind.

“What happened to that guy that left, the one that was openly gay?”

“Colossus? He couldn’t take the distance of his friends, you know the cold shoulder. I heard there were even some attempts against him. He just gave up and moved with his boyfriend in Canada.” At that moment a chunk of hope broke away. They must have noticed because I fell on my knees in pain after the guy touched my frozen arm trying to consol me. “God what happened to you? Your arm is black!”

“Ethan…” Wally called me in worry. I looked at my arm and it has indeed turned black.

“Stay with him little buddy, I’ll go take a car and take him where we can help him…” That was the last thing I heard as the world turned blurry and I fell into unconsciousness.