Jake and David - 4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Stopping every few steps to kiss, Ryan and Jake finally made their way up the stairs of Ryan’s apartment. As soon as Ryan closed the door behind him, Jake pushed him against it. Passionately he pushed his lips on Ryan’s; trying to snake his tongue into his mouth. Ryan opened his mouth a little; just enough for Jake to slide his tongue inside. Using his own tongue, Ryan massaged Jake’s while slowly sliding his hand inside Jake’s button down shirt.

While making out, the two of them made their way over to the couch. Ryan pushed Jake down; making him fall onto the couch. Leaning down, Ryan gave Jake one last kiss before kneeling in front of the couch. Hooking his fingers inside Jake’s shirt, Ryan slowly lifted Jake’s shirt; revealing his tanned toned stomach. Leaning in further, Ryan gently put his lips on Jake’s stomach. Jake let out a moan as he felt Ryan’s tongue sensually slide over the ridge of one of his abs. Sliding his hands further up the clothed part of Jake’s chest, Ryan slipped two fingers of each hand into the middle of Jake’s button down. With one quick pull, Ryan tore open Jake’s shirt; sending a few buttons flying. “Hey fucker! I liked that shirt!” Jake exclaimed.

“I’ll buy you a new one.” Ryan quickly answered before pressing his lips hard against Jake’s. As soon as Ryan’s tongue grazed over Jake’s, Jake’s horniness took over and he forgot all about the shirt. Breaking the kiss, Ryan started to kiss down Jake’s neck until he reached the nape of his neck. Jake let out a loud moan as Ryan used his tongue and lips to massage him.

Slowly Ryan kissed down over Jake’s chest; making way to his left nipple. Reaching it, he twirled his tongue over it before slowly sucking on it. With one of his hands, Ryan slid his hand down Jake’s chest and over his abs. Resting his hand on Jake’s crotch, he grabbed his hard cock and started gently massaging it. Kissing his way further down, Ryan followed Jake’s treasure trail down until he reached his pants. Slowly he unbuttoned his pants, and slid them off Jake’s muscular legs.

Teasing Jake, Ryan slid his tongue up and down Jake’s inner thigh. “Mmm. Please suck it.” Jake moaned, not being able to take the teasing much longer. Answering Jake’s plea, Ryan slid his tongue over the head of Jake’s cock. Ever so slowly, he ran his tongue down the length of Jake’s cock until he reached his balls then back up. Ryan licked the tip once more before sliding the whole thing in his mouth. Soon Ryan deep throated the whole thing as his nose nestled in Jake’s pubes. As Ryan’s throat closed around the tip of Jake’s cock, squeezing out precum, Jake let out another loud moan. “Oh. Yeah! That feels so good.” Jake shuddered, barely able to talk from the sexual gratification Ryan was giving him.

Picking up the pace, Ryan went up and down on Jake’s throbbing hard cock. Every time he felt Ryan’s tongue run over his shaft, it brought him closer and closer to hitting his climax. Ryan raised his hands and ran his fingertips over Jake’s soft skin; leaving red marks on his chest. Getting turned on even more by this, Jake ran his fingers through Ryan’s soft brown hair. Feeling the pressure build in his groin, Jake slid his hand down ryan’s chhek under his chin and pulled him up.

Closing the small gap between each other, Jake pressed his lips to Ryan’s and kissed him hard. Breaking the kiss after what seemed like forever, Jake pushed Ryan back; making him stand before him. Jake leaned in, and started to kiss random spots on Ryan’s hard toned abs. Raising his hands, Jake traced circles around Ryan’s chest; slowly traveling downward until he reached his jeans. Kissing and biting Ryan’s abs, Jake unhooked Ryan’s jeans and pulled them down. As soon as Ryan’s throbbing cock was free of the constricting of the material of his jeans, his cock sprang up; making a large tent in his boxers. Slowly Jake ran his fingers over the thin material of Ryan’s boxers and wrapped his hand around Ryan’s throbbing hard cock. Leaning in, Jake kissed the tip of Ryan’s head before sucking on the tip; making the wet fabric cling to Ryan’s cock.

With one swift motion, Jake pulled Ryan’s boxers down as his cock slapped against his abs. For a second Jake just looked at Ryan, taking in the sight of Ryan’s hard nine inch cock pressed against his abs; glistening in the light from a mixture of precum and Jake’s spit. Breaking Jake’s trance, Ryan ran the tip of his fingers over jake’s cheek up towards the back of his head. Putting slight pressure, Ryan guided Jake’s mouth towards his cock. Jake opened his mouth and slowly slid Ryan’s hard cock into his mouth. Quickly it filled him up and he felt Ryan’s cock hit the back of his mouth. Fighting the urge to pull out and gasp for air, Jake held his mouth on it; allowing his throat to close around it and milk precum down his throat.

Needing air, Jake rocked his head back, making Ryan’s cock fall out of his mouth. Barely out of his mouth, Jake swallowed it again. Ryan was in exsatcy as Jake started picking up pace, and with every head bob, Ryan was getting hornier and hornier. Overcome with lust, Ryan started thrusting his hips, driving his cock deeper and harder into Jake’s mouth. With his hands, Jake slid them over Ryan’s chest and abs; grabbing one nipple and pinching it.

“Oh shit. I’mma cum soon.” Ryan breathed out.

Hearing this, Jake stopped sucking and spread his legs and pulled Ryan on top of him. Breaking his lips to Ryan’s Jake started kissing him lustfully. Jake felt Ryan’s ahrd cock pressing against his abs and cock. Using one hand, he grabbed both their cocks and started jerking them off together. Ryan loved feeling the soft skin of Jake’s cock rubbed against his own.

Suddenly a new emotion swept over him like a dark force feeding on Jake’s happiness. Jake could feel his world crumble around him. The happiness and belonging he felt with Ryan was gone. Replaced by a constricting sense of guilt and lonliness.

“I…I have to go.” Jake said barely audible.

“What?” Ryan asked, concern in his eyes.

“I can’t. I…I…” Jake said getting up and taking a step backwards.

“Jake? What is it? I’m sorry. It’s my fau—“

“No it’s not…I just….I can’t…I—“

“Jake. No. I went to fast.”

“No. I just need to go.”

“Jake, stay. Please?” Ryan said, lightly grabbing onto Jake’s wrist.

“I just….I…” Jake started, trying to hold back the tears. “David…and you..and…this…mistake…I’m sorry.”

Getting off the bed, Ryan walked over to Jake and wrapped his arms around Jake’s naked body. “Shh. Jake. Don’t ever apologize.”

“I just…I can’t do this…I feel..I don’t even know…I—“ Jake said, breaking down.

Ryan wrapped his arms around Jake a little tigher; bring one hand up and stroking the side of Jake’s cheek.

After Jake had calmed down some, Ryan pulled back a little and looked deep into Jake’s eyes. “Feeling better?”

Jake could not help but smile as he said, “Yeah.”

“Good. Well what do you say we go to bed, its been a long night?”

“Ok.” Jake answered meekly.
The two put on their boxers and grabbed their clothes of the floor and walked upstairs to Ryan’s room. “I can sleep on the floor if you want.” Ryan said.

“No. It’s your bed. I don’t want you to do that.”

“No. It’s fine. Or we could…share the bed, I mean there is room for two.”

“Ok. Yeah that works.”

A few minutes later, Ryan and Jake lay side by side in the dark. The silence lay in the night, making things awkward. Breaking the silence, Jake whispered “Thanks.”

“For what Jake?”

“For everything. You could just have thrown me out. I mean I’m an asshole.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yeah I am. I led you on. I kissed you, I was the one who gave you the idea that I wanted you. Then I pushed you away.”

“Jake. I know how you feel. It’s hard. I mean when my ex and I broke up. It was horrible. I became someone else. It felt like a part of me was gone. My life became one dark downward spiral. I tried what I could to get over the pain. I was drunk more nights than I could remember. I broke my fucking hand because I was pissed and punched a wall. I was just in a bad place. There were countless times that I ignored my friends; pushed every one out of my life. I wished more than anything that I could have him back.”

“How did you get passed it? I mean how did you get over it all?”

“I thought it was cuz I was missing someone. I tried to date again; meet people. But I was doing it for the wrong reason. I wasn’t doing it to be happy; just to fill a void. Than one day I realized something. I realized that the only person in control of my life…my happiness…was me. No one else. Other people make it better. But only I can make myself truly happy.”

“That makes sense. But I mean it must still be hard? You still want someone right?”

“Yeah. Of course. But I haven’t found him yet. I mean, I really haven’t been looking. For all I know he might be under my nose and I’m just too stupid to see it.”

“Yeah. I know what you mean. I miss David, but I know I need to move on.”

“And you will. In time. On your terms. But for now I think we should get some sleep. It’s been a long night.”

“Yeah.”

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The early rays of light shone through the window, invading the comfortable darkness. Jake turned his head to the side, trying to escape the quickly growing light. Groggily he opened his eyes and looked over at Ryan sleeping next to him. Ryan looked so peaceful sleeping there, his eyes shut tightly. Jake felt a sudden urge to kiss Ryan’s lips. In the kiss they shared last night Jake felt something, something he had no idea what it was. But a part of him wanted to try again. To find out what it was. Infatuation, passion, or something else.

Lowering his gaze, Jake watched how Ryan’s hard chest rose and sank ever so slightly as he took a breath. Jake noticed Ryan’s hard toned abs glisten as the sun hit the thin layer of sweat from the warm night before. Following the faint trail of hair starting at Ryan’s belly button, Jake saw it disappear into the darkness of the covers. Jake smiled, thinking about last night. But than his mind focused on that emotion that stopped what could of happened last night.

Laying his head down on the pillow, Jake closed his eyes and thought back on what Ryan had said. He was in control of his life. Not David. But he loved him so much. He missed him. But what if all this was meant to happen? What if there was a reason? Then it hit him. Did Ryan mean anything when he said that sometimes the answer is right in front of his nose. Ryan was different. Jake barely knew much about him. But he was the only guy to ever make him feel the way David made him feel. Was it just a rebound? Was he just like Ryan? Was he filling a void; trying to be happy? Or did he have feeling for Ryan? Could he?

“Morning.” Ryan said, ripping Jake from his thoughts.

“Morning.” Jake answered back, looking into Ryan’s blue eyes. “God I love his eyes.” He thought.

“Well I think we should get something to eat.”

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As Jake lay on his bed, his mind reeled in the events of the past month. He lost someone he cared for. Someone he loved. Someone he thought would be with him for a long time. But in that; he met someone new. Someone that made him feel good. Cared for him. But what did he want. Was Jake stupid in thinking that Ryan wanted something? Was Ryan just sympathetic for what he was going through and didn’t mean anything by it? Or was it something else? Something deeper? Could it be that Jake was falling for Ryan? And that Ryan was falling for Jake?
“No. He can’t like me like that. He couldn’t possible one day fall in love with me. Could he? Could I?” Jake thought to himself. “Fuck!” He yelled, punching the pillow. “Why can’t this all be simple?”

************************************************************************

One the other side of town, Ryan sat outside his house deep in thought. The cold night air stinging his face barely registered as him mind tried to make sense of it all. “What is going on?” He thought. “What am I doing? Jake and I are just friends. That’s all we are. Nothing else.”

Ryan looked up at the clear night sky, the stars shone brightly; casting their light upon the night. Ryan closed his eyes and the memories of the past came into view. The night that Jake and he kissed for the first time. It was a kiss that made him happy thinking about it; but at the same time it haunted him. How could he have been so stupid? He took advantage of Jake at a moment of weakness. Jake needed someone to be his friend. Not someone to take advantage of him. Although he wanted to believe that the kiss meant something; deep in his heart Ryan knew it didn’t. Jake was hurt for losing David, nothing else. In that moment Jake felt wanted; and that’s the only reason he kissed him back.

It hurt him knowing that he was falling for someone that would never feel the same way about him. He couldn’t blame Jake; for Ryan himself knew the mysterious ways of love. Ryan closed his eyes and listened to his iPod.

Love doesn't come with a contract
You give me this, I give you that.
It's scary business.
Your heart and soul is on the line.
Baby, why else would I be standin' 'round here
so tongue tied?

If I knew what I was doing,
I'd be doing it right now.
And I would be the best damn poet;
Silver words out of my mouth.
My words might not be magic,
But they cut straight to the truth.
So if you need a lover and a friend,
Baby, I'm in. I'm in.

************************************************************************

Jake sat at his desk, staring at his computer. It had been a week since he spent the night at Ryan’s. A week since they really talked. Ryan and Jake would text; but their conversations were never meaningful. Never really anything past the standard “Hi. How are you?”

The whole week was a constant nightmare. Jake struggled with his thoughts. He wanted David back; but a part of him accepted that David was gone. Nothing more than a memory. At school Dave and Jake barely saw each other; as David was too busy with his girlfriend. It hurt Jake more losing a friend than it did losing a lover. The two of them were friends for as long as Jake could remember; and now all that seemed to be over.

As the week had ticked away Jake felt more and more guilty for what he was doing to Ryan: He basically ignored him. Ryan had been there when he needed someone. It scared Jake to get too close. He already lost David; he didn’t want the same thing to happen. Jake knew that he had to protect his heart. But at the same time was he hurting Ryan? “He can’t like me like that; could he?” Jake thought.

A sudden ringing noise startled Jake; ripping him from his thoughts. Jake rwached for his phone on the nightstand.

“Hello?

“Hey Jake. It’s Ryan.”

“Hey. How are ya?”

“Good. You? Haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“I’m good. Yeah, I was umm…busy.” Jake lied.

“Oh ok. Well I was just calling if you had plans tonight.”

“Umm…I…no.”

“What Jakey has nothing to do on a Friday night?” Ryan teased.

“Shut up.”

“Anyway. Want to go to the movies?”

“What’s playing?”

“I kinda wanna see the A- Team. Looks good.”

“I…I don’t think I can.”

“Come on. I haven’t seen you all week.”

“Fine..ok.”

“Good. I’ll meet you at the theatres at 8. Sound good?”

“Yeah.”