Earning His Wings - 1. Earning His Wings

A middle aged couple stood quietly in front of a large window that was draped closed from the inside. They clung to each other almost desperately, the woman’s head buried in the man’s chest. Next to them stood a young man, head hung low and fists clenched tightly at his side.

‘We found a body washed up on shore this morning, the general description fits that of your son. So if you folk’s are ready for this?’ asked the young detective.

The older man took a deep breath and released it with a shudder, and slowly nodded. The woman raised her head.

The detective pushed a button on the intercom located next to the window.

‘OK, Sid, go ahead and open it up.’

The drapes slowly drew aside revealing a man dressed in a white lab coat standing next to a table that obviously had a body under a sheet. After a sympathetic look at the couple, Sid set his face into a grim mask and slowly drew the sheet back. Underneath was the bloated body of a young man.

The woman took one look and buried her face back into the man’s chest, her shoulders shaking with the uncontrollable sobs that wracked her body. The man let out a moan and lowered his face into the woman’s hair, tears streaking his face. After a moment he raised up long enough to nod at the deputy. The young man slowly sank to his knees, tears coursing down his face.

‘That’s Ian.’ croaked the older man. And at the deputies nod the curtains closed again, and with a sympathetic look at the young man, the older man silently led the sobbing woman away.

‘You can’t do this to me Larry,’ groused a young, well dressed man.

‘Of course we can Geoff, and we are,’ responded the older, white haired gentleman.

‘But how am I supposed to change that?’ Geoff asked, looking at the frozen picture of the man and woman in the hallway.

‘I don’t know Geoff, that’s your job.’

‘I don’t want it.’

‘So you’re giving up then? Don’t want to be a guardian angel anymore?’ was the scoffing reply.

‘C’mon Larry you gave me two easy jobs that I totally blew and now this? You know if I mess this one up I’ll be out anyway. Can’t you give me something easier, please?’

‘Sorry Geoff, but as you said you failed two easy jobs. How do you expect to be a guardian angel if you can’t take the difficult ones as well? This is your last chance. That young man’s life is in your hands. You have to find a way to prevent what happens or his parents will end up seeing him like that for the last time. If you fail I’m sure we can come up with an easy job for you. We always need custodians up here.’ The last came out with a chuckle.

Larry watched as a dejected looking Geoff left the room, head hung low. He fully expected that Geoff would fail and that the young man on the table would be his next student at guardian angel school.

Dejected, Geoff wandered aimlessly until he stumbled onto a park bench. He sat down, head in his hands and a bleakness, like a cloud, surrounded him. His thoughts roamed, over the time since he’d arrived in heaven. He’d arrived at the pearly gates lost and confused. During orientation, they had gone over the many jobs that were available. As soon as they had mentioned ‘guardian angel’, Geoff had decided that that was what he wanted to do. After a year of extensive training in the nuances of being a guardian angel, he was sent out for his practical test. He had three chances. All he had to do was make just enough of a difference that his ‘subject’ wouldn’t have to pass through something unpleasant or miss out on something wonderful that may have occurred without his nudge.

So far he was a complete and utter failure. ‘Oh well,’ he thought. ‘If I’m going to go out I might as well go out with a bang.’ And redirecting his thoughts, he vectored in on his new subject, Ian.

Geoff floated onto a high school football field and hovered invisible next to two sweaty seventeen year olds. They stood conversing as the rest of the team moved off the field heading towards the locker rooms.

‘We still going out tonight Aaron?’

‘I can’t Ian, the ‘rents want to have a family dinner.’

‘How bout tomorrow then? After the game?’

‘I have plans.’

‘So when then?’

‘I don’t know, later maybe.

‘Later when? I really want to spend some time together.’

‘I don’t know. Just later.’

‘Is something wrong? Are we OK here?’

Aarons face tightened and a sigh drifted over his lips. ‘Why’d you have to out yourself Ian? You know how my parents are.’

‘Shit, Aaron, I couldn’t just stand there while those four guys beat on Jimmy. You would’ve done the same thing if you were there.’

‘Maybe so, but I wouldn’t have announced that I was doing it ‘cause I was gay also! My parents heard about that and now they’ve forbidden me to see you. I’m tired of all this sneaking around. It’s like I have a constant knot in my stomach, waiting for them to find out. And if they do find out I can kiss my college fund goodbye.’

‘So what does that mean?’

‘It means I can’t keep sneaking around, Ian. It means I can’t see you right now.’

‘So that’s it? Did the last year not mean anything to you? It’s over just like that?’ Ian asked his eyes now red and puffy.

‘No, not just like that. I’m not breaking up with you. I love you Ian. I just can’t see you right now. Can we just cool off for the rest of the year? Then when we go off to college they won’t be around.’

‘I’m gonna have to think about this. Fuck, why do they have to be like that?’

‘I don’t know, but I really do love you. I just can’t risk them finding out. It would make things even more difficult than not going out for awhile. I’ll still be here. I’ll still see you every day. We just need to cool off with the dating. At least until they stop watching me so much.’

With that said, Aaron turned and slowly walked off the field, heading for the showers and another night at home under his parents’ watchful eyes.

Ian stood on the field for a long time before he also slowly left the field, headed home for the first of many nights without Aaron.

Geoff floated in silence for a long time as well. But his thoughts weren’t sad, they were angry and bitter. He knew that his test was going to be rough but this was way more than even he would have thought they could do to him. Although he badly wanted to be a guardian angel, he still had to deal with the prejudices he brought from his earthly life, a life where he’d been a minister and had preached often on the sins of homosexuality. He had always felt that the gays were largely responsible for the downfall of societal morals, and was quick to join every effort to repress them. He’d campaigned for politicians whose platforms included anti-gay laws. And he himself had been involved in fund raisers to pass ‘family friendly’ legislation.

Then a thought hit him. Maybe he was supposed to show Ian the error of his ways. Surely it was the homosexuality that led him to the morgue. And with renewed conviction Geoff vectored in on Ian once again.

‘Hey, Ian, your mother and I are headed out to that dinner party tonight, you going to be OK here by yourself?’

‘Yeah, Dad. Practice was pretty rough and we have a game tomorrow so I think I’ll just relax and go to bed early.’

‘K, son. We’ll be at the Rodgers if you need anything.’

Ian dragged himself up to his room and collapsed on his bed. Memories of the last year with Aaron floated through his head, and a deep depression overwhelmed him. He loved Aaron more than he’d ever thought possible. The last year had been like winning the lottery for him. He dreaded the coming year but was determined not to lose him, needing some sort of contact, he logged onto his computer to write an email to him.

Geoff smiled seeing his first chance and with a thought changed things so that instead of Ian’s regular home page coming up, it was the home page for a treatment for homosexuality.

Ian, curious as to why Yahoo hadn’t popped up started to peruse the website. He got as far as reading “Defenders and promoters of homosexuality try to cover up the scientifically documented serious promiscuity, inability to maintain sexual fidelity, partner abuse and psychological and medical illnesses associated with the lifestyle. Also, they tell persons with same-sex attractions (SSA) that "It's genetic," "You were born that way," or worse "God made you gay." before he became disgusted, he rapidly typed in the web address for his mailbox. After sending a quick email to Aaron, professing his love and willingness to do whatever it took to keep him, he wandered down to the kitchen to make something to eat.

Still depressed, he went through the cupboards until he came across a bottle of tequila. Not ever having tried alcohol before, but hoping it would take away some of the pain, he pulled it down and took a swallow.

He almost spit it out it was so nasty, but then he felt the warm sensation of the alcohol moving down into him. It felt almost comforting and that more than anything was what he needed right now.

Of course Geoff watching all this felt happy, he’d started to show Ian the error of his ways and although he didn’t feel alcohol was the answer either, he hoped that Ian would drink enough to pass out and not do whatever it was that caused him to end up in the morgue. But still something bothered him. He’d never witnessed any type of interaction between gay people, and found that the exchange between Ian and Aaron was not what he expected at all. He’d only sensed the love the two had for each other. He also noticed no desire with either boy to sleep around. In fact the love they shared reminded him much of the love he had shared with his wife the day they were married.

Ian had had several large swallows of the tequila when he decided he needed to go for a walk out by the ocean. The walks along the cliffs, along with the smell of the sea air and the noise of the waves crashing into the cliffs always managed to sooth him and take his mind off of his troubles.

Geoff watched, mortified, as Ian stumbled out the door and down the street the one block to the cliff side park. The bottle of tequila still firmly clutched in his hand.

After having seen Ian’s bloated body on the gurney, watching him interact with Aaron and being privy to some of his innermost thoughts Geoff had begun to care about this young man, homosexual or not. He’d been surprised to find a decent, loving individual inside. The depth of feeling that he’d witnessed between Ian and Aaron was also surprising.

He didn’t have time to think about all of that, though, it would have to wait. All he knew was that Ian was headed for death and suddenly he wanted more than anything for that not to happen.

Rapidly following the stumbling Ian, he strained his thoughts for anything, anything at all that would prevent the disaster that was rapidly looming.

Rain! He thought a rainstorm would surely send him home. Using his guardian angel privileges, the ones to be used only in extreme circumstances, he called forth a thunderstorm out of the clear blue sky.

Ian stopped as the first raindrops hit him, and somewhere in his drunken haze, wondered where they had come from. But at that moment he really didn’t care. He was feeling sorry for himself. A little rain wasn’t going to stop him from taking his walk. He continued along the cliff side trail, although now he was slipping more often. He continued to take long pulls off the bottle of tequila.

As he approached a point where the trail came dangerously close to the cliff edge Geoff began to panic. He could see the slippery moss on the trail and knew without a doubt that this would be where the beginning of the end occurred. Thoughts of failure and a young life ending too early screamed inside his head as he watched Ian step forward onto that patch of ground. Time seemed to come to a standstill. Geoff winced as Ian lost his footing, the bottle slipping out of his hands and smashing into the ground, as Ian whirled his arms trying to regain his balance.

In a moment of sheer desperation Geoff panicked and called forth a lightning bolt. The bolt crashed into the cliff below Ian, and the concussion of air that followed to form thunder, slammed Ian backwards knocking him unconscious into the grass.

Early the next morning a police cruiser pulled up in front of Ian’s house. A police officer helped a soaking wet Ian out of the back seat with. a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Ian’s parents rushed out of their front door and pulled him into a tight embrace. His father was the first to let go.

‘What the hell were you thinking, Ian? Where have you been? Do you have any idea how worried we were? We’ve been up all night searching, calling your friends. Damn it what’s the matter with you?

‘I’m sorry, dad’ responded Ian, head bowed to the ground. ‘I was just feeling so sorry for myself last night I didn’t think about what I was doing.’

‘Well you’re going to be thinking about it for a long time. I’m glad you’re OK, but this is not going to go unpunished!’

‘I understand, sir,’ Ian mumbled.

‘IAN!’

Ian looked up just in time to be enveloped in Aaron’s arms.

‘Oh God, I thought I’d never see you again,’ Aaron managed to choke out between his tears.

‘Aaron, what are you doing here? Go, now, before you get caught,’ Ian managed to say although the last thing he wanted was to have Aaron’s arms leave him.

‘I don’t care anymore Ian. When I heard you were missing I broke down. I ended up telling my parents everything. I’m not going to distance myself from you anymore, ever again.’

Geoff watched all this unfold and was surprised to find tears running down his face. He was elated that he’d passed the test and would earn his status as a guardian angel. But seeing those two boys together made him think as well. He realized he was already reconsidering everything he’d learned when he was alive. Slowly he turned away and willed his return to heaven, anxious to begin his new life.

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