March 9th 2023 - Holidays and Observances

 

(click on the day for details)

• Christian feast day:
  • Catherine of Bologna
  • Forty Martyrs of Sebaste
  • Frances of Rome
  • Pacian
  • Pope Cyril VI of Alexandria (Coptic Orthodox Church)
  • Gregory of Nyssa (Episcopal Church (United States))
  • March 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics)
• Teachers' Day or Eid Al Moalim (Lebanon)

 

Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)

National Barbie Day

Amerigo Vespucci Day

Bang Clang Day

International School Meals Day

Joe Franklin Day

March Full Moon

Nametag Day

National American Paddlefish Day

National Crab Meat Day

National Dish Washer Appreciation Day

National False Teeth Day

National Get Over It Day

National Heroes and Benefactors Day

National Lina Day

National Marcia Day

National Meatball Day

National Shane Day

Popcorn Lover's Day

World Kidney Day

Panic Day

 

Suga’s Birthday

Somi’s Birthday

India Royale’s Birthday

Matthew Gray Gubler’s Birthday

Bow Wow’s Birthday

 

 

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As a dentist, I recently tried out a new chocolate-flavored pumice paste on my patients. No one liked it except for a six-year-old boy. While I polished his teeth, he continued to smile and lick his lips. "You must really like this new flavor," I said.

"Yep," he replied, nodding with satisfaction. "It tastes just like the time I dropped my candy bar in the sandbox."

 

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I think my wife's going deaf," Joe told their doctor.

"Try to test her hearing at home and let me know how severe her problem is before you bring her in for treatment," the doctor said.

So that evening, when his wife was preparing dinner, Joe stood 15 feet behind her and said, "What's for dinner, honey?"

No response.

He moved to ten feet behind her and asked again.

No response.

Then he stood five feet in back of her and tried again but still got no answer. Finally, he stood directly behind her and asked, "Honey, what's for supper?"

She turned around. "For the fourth time—I said chicken!"

 

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Bob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding they pass a drugstore. Bob suggests they go in.

Bob asks to speak to the pharmacist. He explains they're about to get married, and asks, "Do you sell heart medication?"

"Of course we do," the pharmacist replies.

"Medicine for rheumatism?"

"Definitely," he says.

"How about Viagra?"

"Of course."

"Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

"Yes, the works."

"What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antacids?"

 "Absolutely."

"Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

"All speeds and sizes."

"Good," Bob says to the pharmacist. "We'd like to register for our wedding gifts here, please."

 

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When my Dad got out of the Army, a friend gave him a job as a “diesel fitter” at his ladies’ undergarments factory.

On Dad’s first day, the friend took him to the production line where he would be working.

The friend explained that as a diesel fitter, my dad’s responsibility would be to pick up each garment as it came off the line, look it over, and then hold it up and announce, “Yep, deez’ll fit ’er!”

At least, that’s the story my dad told a thousand times.

 

 

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( R. I. P. )

 

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sandrewn