MDBCs 05 Jun 2024

September is Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month. As these quotes from overheardinthenewsroom.com prove, we need all the sympathy we can get.

First editor: "They just sent in a correction on the obit."
Second editor: "Is she still dead?"

Editor to reporter writing political trend story: "We'd better move it today. It might not be true tomorrow."

City editor assuring a reporter:
"It might get you arrested, but it won't get you fired."

Metro editor, commenting on parade floats made out of newspapers:
"Can't do that with the Internet."

***

I knew that my husband's hearing had deteriorated after our friend—new to the city— asked where he could meet some singles. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the Kmart parking lot diving for fries."

"Dear," I intervened. "Singles, not seagulls."

***

For 15 minutes a small crowd watched my surf-fishing husband struggle to haul in something big. The drama ended when his catch turned out to be a waterlogged 4 x 4. As Ed worked the hook out of the chunk of lumber, a man in the crowd called out,

"What did you use for bait, your Home Depot card?"

***

"You wouldn't believe my bad luck," a burglar tells his friend. "I broke into a lawyer's house last night, and he caught me. He let me go but told me never to steal again."

"He let you go? Why's that bad luck?" asks the friend.

"He charged me $500 for the advice."

***

I don't know how to speed-read. Instead, I listen to Books on Tape on fast-forward.