I FOUND IT!

[Meeko]

The president has class in my calculus room before my class, so I see him walking out while I sit in the lounge area outside the hallway three times a week. He's really hard to miss with a section of his hair died red. I also saw the "gay? fine by me." shirt for the first time on him... that's the only thing about him that clued me in to the fact that he has something to do with the GLBT community. I didn't think for sure he was gay until he said why he was in the club, lol. I hate my gaydar. He actually made the comment that he was there to meet other gay people, but he could tell sometimes when someone was gay, and I wanted to ask him to guess my sexuality. I might still ask that, for my own reference.

 

I came into this topic really late ><

 

Anyway you should ask him, idk it's weird becuase now that i beleive in myself that i am gay, now that i can finally admit it to other people, i seem to be able to tell right away if a guys gay or not. Now if their bi they are tricky, becuase they are most likey not too out, and make it hard for people to tell. The good thing though is i'm the same way, so i just look for what i try to hide or do etc. Let us know what he says!!!

 

-Mike

[AFriendlyFace]

Anyway you should ask him, idk it's weird becuase now that i beleive in myself that i am gay, now that i can finally admit it to other people, i seem to be able to tell right away if a guys gay or not. Now if their bi they are tricky, becuase they are most likey not too out, and make it hard for people to tell. The good thing though is i'm the same way, so i just look for what i try to hide or do etc. Let us know what he says!!!

I agree. The more and longer someone's been out, the easier I think it gets to figure out if others are gay or not. I think part of this is just (that in general there is) more exposure to the gay community. However, I think some of it comes from simply being more in touch with things you may perhaps have been afraid/unable to examine before.

 

-Kevin

[Menzoberranzen]

Gaydar is not an innate property, but rather a talent that gets perfected over time. Like Kevin said, the more you become aware of things and the more exposure you have to other gay people, the more ease you have identifying other gay people on sight.

 

Menzo

[rknapp]

Then there are the ones that totally throw you for a loop.

 

Example: In the spring of 2006 there was a guy in my calculus class that I didn't really think much of. He was just an average guy (with long hair and hippy-ish clothing) and didn't stand out. After looking at some pictures posted on the clubs Facebook group I noticed that the guy from that class is the treasurer of the club, and was the guy I spoke to at the club fair. I perused the group a little more and found in the discussion that he had come out at some point (suggesting that he is bi or gay). I never would have guessed that. My first thought when I found who he was was that he was a straight ally. He doesn't fit any of the stereotypes, so no warning bells went off. It actually makes him more appealing that he doesn't fit the stereotypes at all.

[Meeko]

Then there are the ones that totally throw you for a loop.

 

Example: In the spring of 2006 there was a guy in my calculus class that I didn't really think much of. He was just an average guy (with long hair and hippy-ish clothing) and didn't stand out. After looking at some pictures posted on the clubs Facebook group I noticed that the guy from that class is the treasurer of the club, and was the guy I spoke to at the club fair. I perused the group a little more and found in the discussion that he had come out at some point (suggesting that he is bi or gay). I never would have guessed that. My first thought when I found who he was was that he was a straight ally. He doesn't fit any of the stereotypes, so no warning bells went off. It actually makes him more appealing that he doesn't fit the stereotypes at all.

 

 

Sounds a lot like me ... hahaha

 

I agree with Kevin 100 percent. And i noticed the more you hang out with someone you think is gay, or bi, you can kinda get little hints, just by always being with the person. Maybe that's just me, but if theres someone whos really hard to tell, i just to hang out with them a little, and thats really all i need to know. But yeah i agree with you i think guys who don't fit the steretype are more appealing, but thats just me

-Mike

[AFriendlyFace]

Example: In the spring of 2006 there was a guy in my calculus class that I didn't really think much of. He was just an average guy (with long hair and hippy-ish clothing) and didn't stand out.

Obviously, I've never seen the guy and there are ALOT of hippie people with long hair who aren't gay, but that actually might have been a slight tip off. People who seem to channel the "hippie" culture seem to also embrace the counter culture and homosexuality can still very much be considered a part of that.

 

Besides the two ideologies have many similarities on the surface: an emphasis on peace and acceptance, and perhaps on free love (I don't necessarily mean promiscuity, but being less bogged down in the roles and expectations of society).

 

The longer hair might also (but certainly not necessarily) be indicative of a guy who cares about his hair and gives it a lot of attention.

 

Anyway I am stereotyping, which is sorta the point. You can find a stereotype for anything if you look for it.

 

It actually makes him more appealing that he doesn't fit the stereotypes at all.

But yeah i agree with you i think guys who don't fit the steretype are more appealing, but thats just me

Ah, the ever appealing "straight-acting" gay guy. I can definitely understand the fascinationl, and in some way a few of the aspects might appeal to me too. However, I certainly have no desire to date a straight guy - even a gay one. I like most of the characteristics that typically apply to gay guys, be them physical, emotional, or with regards to personality. I like the sensitivity, witty sense of humour, enhanced capacity for sharing and sympathy. I like the style, sense of one's body, and body image. In general I think gay guys take better care of themselves and others.

 

Don't get me wrong, there are quite a few gay guys out there who don't have any of the characteristics I just described, and there's quite a few straight guys out there who probably have them all. Again I'm just talking about the stereotypes for each group. Anyway, I've come to accept that with "sensitivity" might come "overly emotional". Witty sense of humour might sometimes boarder on bitchy. Sense of style and desire to take care of one's looks can easily translate into self-absorbed and shallow. I'm not saying I like these negatives, obviously I don't or I wouldn't describe them as negatives, but I think there's going to be negatives to any positive anyway. Certainly the negatives can be found to all the traditional hyper-manly qualities (I.E. Strong and assertive can equal rough and insensitive when taken to extremes).

 

Anyway, yes, I'd love to find a guy who had all the positive qualities and none of the negatives, but in general I like the positives of the stereotypical gay guy better than the positives of the stereotypical straight guy, so I'm more willing to put up with the corresponding negatives.

 

Take care all and have an awesome day

Kevin

Edited October 1, 2007 by AFriendlyFace

[Meeko]

Obviously, I've never seen the guy and there are ALOT of hippie people with long hair who aren't gay, but that actually might have been a slight tip off. People who seem to channel the "hippie" culture seem to also embrace the counter culture and homosexuality can still very much be considered a part of that.

 

Besides the two ideologies have many similarities on the surface: an emphasis on peace and acceptance, and perhaps on free love (I don't necessarily mean promiscuity, but being less bogged down in the roles and expectations of society).

 

The longer hair might also (but certainly not necessarily) be indicative of a guy who cares about his hair and gives it a lot of attention.

 

Anyway I am stereotyping, which is sorta the point. You can find a stereotype for anything if you look for it.

 

 

 

Ah, the ever appealing "straight-acting" gay guy. I can definitely understand the fascinationl, and in some way a few of the aspects might appeal to me too. However, I certainly have no desire to date a straight guy - even a gay one. I like most of the characteristics that typically apply to gay guys, be them physical, emotional, or with regards to personality. I like the sensitivity, witty sense of humour, enhanced capacity for sharing and sympathy. I like the style, sense of one's body, and body image. In general I think gay guys take better care of themselves and others.

 

Don't get me wrong, there are quite a few gay guys out there who don't have any of the characteristics I just described, and there's quite a few straight guys out there who probably have them all. Again I'm just talking about the stereotypes for each group. Anyway, I've come to accept that with "sensitivity" might come "overly emotional". Witty sense of humour might sometimes boarder on bitchy. Sense of style and desire to take care of one's looks can easily translate into self-absorbed and shallow. I'm not saying I like these negatives, obviously I don't or I wouldn't describe them as negatives, but I think there's going to be negatives to any positive anyway. Certainly the negatives can be found to all the traditional hyper-manly qualities (I.E. Strong and assertive can equal rough and insensitive when taken to extremes).

 

Anyway, yes, I'd love to find a guy who had all the positive qualities and none of the negatives, but in general I like the positives of the stereotypical gay guy better than the positives of the stereotypical straight guy, so I'm more willing to put up with the corresponding negatives.

 

Take care all and have an awesome day

Kevin

 

Yeah i should have been more clear. It's not that i wouldn't date a guy who's the stereotype gay guy, i mean i have... It's just to me one who is thermself instead of trying to fit a steretype is more appealing in my eyes. Someone who just may have all of the things it takes to be a steretype gay guy, yet doesn't really show it like a lot of others do you know? Idk i may not be making much sense but thats how i always am ><

 

I like someone who is senstive, and uniqie in his own ways. Someone who would hold me when i need it the most, someone strong, and caring. That one person who can do or say anything to make me smile when i'm having a shitty day. Someone who doesn't care what everyone thinks about him, and always stays true to himself. Thats my dream guy ^^

 

-Mike

 

p.s: Sorry for going off topic hehe.

[AFriendlyFace]

Yeah i should have been more clear. It's not that i wouldn't date a guy who's the stereotype gay guy, i mean i have... It's just to me one who is thermself instead of trying to fit a steretype is more appealing in my eyes. Someone who just may have all of the things it takes to be a steretype gay guy, yet doesn't really show it like a lot of others do you know? Idk i may not be making much sense but thats how i always am ><

 

I like someone who is senstive, and uniqie in his own ways. Someone who would hold me when i need it the most, someone strong, and caring. That one person who can do or say anything to make me smile when i'm having a shitty day. Someone who doesn't care what everyone thinks about him, and always stays true to himself. Thats my dream guy ^^

Well said, Mike!

 

I definitely agree with all of that

 

p.s: Sorry for going off topic hehe.

 

Eughh, we do seem to have gone a bit off topic Let's hope the mods don't notice!

 

Anyway, I'm really glad you went, Robbie, and please let us know how the next meeting goes!

-Kevin

[Meeko]

Eughh, we do seem to have gone a bit off topic Let's hope the mods don't notice!

 

Anyway, I'm really glad you went, Robbie, and please let us know how the next meeting goes!

-Kevin

 

 

Indeed, can't wait to hear all about it

[rknapp]

Off topic? Pft, that's unavoidable and runs rampant on GA!

 

Now, back off topic...

Obviously, I've never seen the guy and there are ALOT of hippie people with long hair who aren't gay, but that actually might have been a slight tip off. People who seem to channel the "hippie" culture seem to also embrace the counter culture and homosexuality can still very much be considered a part of that.

 

Besides the two ideologies have many similarities on the surface: an emphasis on peace and acceptance, and perhaps on free love (I don't necessarily mean promiscuity, but being less bogged down in the roles and expectations of society).

 

The longer hair might also (but certainly not necessarily) be indicative of a guy who cares about his hair and gives it a lot of attention.

Long hair might tip off some guys, but I've said before that he would need to be doing the horizontal tango with another man for me get even the slightest hint. You honestly think long hair would be on my radar? Laughable! lol

 

Besides, he's cut it since I last saw him in that class. It was short when he spoke to me at the club fair, so I didn't recognize him until I went through the groups facebook pictures and saw one of him with short hair and one with the long hair.

 

BTW the long appearance wouldn't even tip your scales Kev. He simply didn't dress like he cared.

 

Ah, the ever appealing "straight-acting" gay guy.

I've heard this term before and I still don't quite understand what it means. AFAIK this describes a gay man who checks out the ladies when he's with his straight buddies and checks out the guys when he's with his gay friends... and he dresses like a disgusting straight guy as opposed to a clean cut gay guy. I suppose it also means that he performs the former in public when he's the latter for real.

 

But what throws me off is that I've been referred to as "straight-acting." I dress the way I do because I subscribe to the belief that "whatever's on top" is the perfect thing to wear today. In fact, the shirt I'm wearing today is the same shirt that I was wearing yesterday for two reasons: 1. It's VERY comfortable and 2. I woke up 10 minutes before class today, so I only had enough time to pee, wash my hands and face with cleanser (that's about the only beauty thing I do since my face is disgusting), throw on pants, socks, and shoes, and run. I don't check out hot guys with my friends because I don't hang out with the ones that do. I don't check out hot girls with my friends because I respect women and choose not to gawk at their titties. I also choose not to gawk at partially exposed ta-ta's because doing so encourages exposing them, and I think that it's inappropriate.

 

I'm sure another facet to the straight-acting label is loving cars, computers, greasy activity, going fast and understand how fast happens, as opposed to loving shopping, the latest gossip out of hollywood, accessorizing, etc. If this is so... oh well. My most comfortable position is laying on my back on cold concrete in the garage underneath a 3600 lb full-size sedan sitting on jackstands while either watching oil drain from the oil pan or while beating the ever living shit out of a fuel line fitting that has rusted to the fuel filter.

 

If I insulted anyone with my assumptions, good.

 

Back on topic:

Supposedly we're get craftsy tomorrow night, so we'll see if I speak more. I doubt it though.

[Meeko]

Off topic? Pft, that's unavoidable and runs rampant on GA!

 

 

I've heard this term before and I still don't quite understand what it means. AFAIK this describes a gay man who checks out the ladies when he's with his straight buddies and checks out the guys when he's with his gay friends... and he dresses like a disgusting straight guy as opposed to a clean cut gay guy. I suppose it also means that he performs the former in public when he's the latter for real.

 

But what throws me off is that I've been referred to as "straight-acting." I dress the way I do because I subscribe to the belief that "whatever's on top" is the perfect thing to wear today. In fact, the shirt I'm wearing today is the same shirt that I was wearing yesterday for two reasons: 1. It's VERY comfortable and 2. I woke up 10 minutes before class today, so I only had enough time to pee, wash my hands and face with cleanser (that's about the only beauty thing I do since my face is disgusting), throw on pants, socks, and shoes, and run. I don't check out hot guys with my friends because I don't hang out with the ones that do. I don't check out hot girls with my friends because I respect women and choose not to gawk at their titties. I also choose not to gawk at partially exposed ta-ta's because doing so encourages exposing them, and I think that it's inappropriate.

 

I'm sure another facet to the straight-acting label is loving cars, computers, greasy activity, going fast and understand how fast happens, as opposed to loving shopping, the latest gossip out of hollywood, accessorizing, etc. If this is so... oh well. My most comfortable position is laying on my back on cold concrete in the garage underneath a 3600 lb full-size sedan sitting on jackstands while either watching oil drain from the oil pan or while beating the ever living shit out of a fuel line fitting that has rusted to the fuel filter.

 

If I insulted anyone with my assumptions, good.

 

Back on topic:

Supposedly we're get craftsy tomorrow night, so we'll see if I speak more. I doubt it though.

 

 

Well since im not out to a soul, i guess im so called straight acting... Yet im not acting you know, i act the same way ive been acting for the past 20 years, i wear clothes that i think is appealing. If i saw a shirt that said "I Am Gay" Yet it was black with white letterings and looked really cool i would wear it, just becuase of the fact that it looks really cool.

 

I do find myself checking out guys here and there, but it isn't like a gawking at them thing, the hot ones just grab my attention and i look for a second just to notice and then turn my attetion back to whatever it was on.

 

There for a am straight acting, yet i see myself as a steretype gay guy... Just in my own ways.

 

Talk Enjoy Have Fun!!!

 

-Mike

 

p.s: Tell us all about it!!

[rknapp]

Damn. I scared myself tonight by talking. The first hour of the meeting we had a guest speaker who showed us a slide show of a queer commune. The second hour was spent making signs for the Safe Zone workshop and for National Coming Out Day. I had to ask what the rainbow colors were lmao.

 

But I confirmed it! The guy that I thought was in my calculus class was there and he confirmed. He brought it up actually because he said he recognized me from a couple of classes, or near the classes (he's an ENVL major, so a lot of science classes are grouped together and we all know each other). I've decided to attend the "Coffee House" thing that they're hosting on NCOD even though I have no coming story to share. I asked if it mattered if I showed up and stood there and they said they didn't care.

 

Also it turns out that a few of them are going to Philly on Sunday for something called Out Fest and asked me to come along. I'm not sure if I want to go though, since I'm broke and "Out Fest" gives me visions of gay pride parades and such, and I'm not really into that stuff. What are you guys' thoughts? The President of the club gave me his cell number so I could call him with my decision later, but I have to make that decision by Sunday.

[AFriendlyFace]

Damn. I scared myself tonight by talking.

Awesome! Way to go

I've decided to attend the "Coffee House" thing that they're hosting on NCOD even though I have no coming story to share. I asked if it mattered if I showed up and stood there and they said they didn't care.

Well you could be silly and say something like,

 

"So how did I come out? Let's see I saw these shirts for "Safe Zone" and decided to go to this meeting..."

Also it turns out that a few of them are going to Philly on Sunday for something called Out Fest and asked me to come along. I'm not sure if I want to go though, since I'm broke and "Out Fest" gives me visions of gay pride parades and such, and I'm not really into that stuff. What are you guys' thoughts? The President of the club gave me his cell number so I could call him with my decision later, but I have to make that decision by Sunday.

Well I suspect you'll already know my opinion. I think you should go! It sounds like it'll be alota fun, and you can probably make it as cheap or expensive, or as tame or as wild as you're inclined to do

 

Besides, I think you'll really be glad you went later!

 

Glad to hear everything's going well!

Take care and have an awesome day!

Kevin

[rknapp]

Well you could be silly and say something like,

 

"So how did I come out? Let's see I saw these shirts for "Safe Zone" and decided to go to this meeting..."

[Meeko]

YAY FOR YOU!!! Im glad you talked!!!

 

As for the event i agree with Kevin, im sure it will be as much fun as you make of it, but don't feel forced to go if you really don't want to, i for one prob wouldn't go just becuase we'll Im scared like that =D

 

Take care and let us know what happens if you decide to go

 

-Mike

[rknapp]

I don't think I'm gonna go for a couple of reasons. First is that sounds like a crowd type of thing, and I HATE crowds. I would probably wind up following some of the people who are going so closely that it would be borderline buttsecks. Second is that I'm not a fan a cities. Cities are generally not car-friendly, and I hate being somewhere without personal transportation of some kind (my car or a friends car). The last time I went into Philly a friend gave me a day pass for the train. Well the pass didn't work, so the security person told me to just get on, and then dial 0 from the emergency phone to be let on and off the train. The whole time that I was in the city I thought I was gonna be stuck there overnight lol.

 

That begs the question, what bullshit excuse should I give him next Wednesday for why I didn't call? lmfao.

[Meeko]

Hey, everyone has their reasons, and i agree with you... Im not really much of a crowd person either, i go with out maybe 4 people max 5 at times and i feel awkward.

 

Really id be honest with the guy, just say its not something you are interested in but thank him for the invite =D

 

Who knows maybe he just wanted you to call for a different reason

 

Take care and have a wonderful day!

 

-Mike

 

I don't think I'm gonna go for a couple of reasons. First is that sounds like a crowd type of thing, and I HATE crowds. I would probably wind up following some of the people who are going so closely that it would be borderline buttsecks. Second is that I'm not a fan a cities. Cities are generally not car-friendly, and I hate being somewhere without personal transportation of some kind (my car or a friends car). The last time I went into Philly a friend gave me a day pass for the train. Well the pass didn't work, so the security person told me to just get on, and then dial 0 from the emergency phone to be let on and off the train. The whole time that I was in the city I thought I was gonna be stuck there overnight lol.

 

That begs the question, what bullshit excuse should I give him next Wednesday for why I didn't call? lmfao.

[AFriendlyFace]

That begs the question, what bullshit excuse should I give him next Wednesday for why I didn't call? lmfao.

Really id be honest with the guy, just say its not something you are interested in but thank him for the invite =D

Mike is right! I was going to tell you the same thing. Even if you don't want to go, if he's expecting to hear from you you should call him. It's much more polite and if you want to hang with this group for the foreseeable future it's also definitely in your best interests.

 

If you really don't want to be honest about the reason (you don't want to go, you don't like crowds, you're afraid of cities, whatever) then it's still more polite to give him your BS reason prior to standing him up.

 

 

Just my thoughts though,

Kevin

[rknapp]

Good point, but since I don't know when and where they're meeting up, I technically wouldn't be standing him up. It's not so much the crowd that scares me as it is crowd + new environment. OutFest is essentially a big 'ol block party in Philly's "gayborhood", according to the website I found on it. I don't know if any of you have seen QAF, but that description gives me visions of Liberty Avenue in QAF during special gay events, and it doesn't look too appealing to me.

 

As someone on here already said (probably in this thread too), baby steps. Maybe I'll catch him tomorrow since he class in a room right before my class.

[Meeko]

Good point, but since I don't know when and where they're meeting up, I technically wouldn't be standing him up. It's not so much the crowd that scares me as it is crowd + new environment. OutFest is essentially a big 'ol block party in Philly's "gayborhood", according to the website I found on it. I don't know if any of you have seen QAF, but that description gives me visions of Liberty Avenue in QAF during special gay events, and it doesn't look too appealing to me.

 

As someone on here already said (probably in this thread too), baby steps. Maybe I'll catch him tomorrow since he class in a room right before my class.

 

 

You know it's funny becuase like i already said before, i prob wouldn't go if it was me. Just becuase of the sheer reason that going to something like that, would be outing myself, and as much as i think im ready for it i know i'll never really be ready enough. It's just something i need to get over with and deal with what happens one way or another.

 

-Mike