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Frostina

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  1. Frostina
    Hey everyone
     
     
     
    Thank you all for the concerns and well wishes. Just got news from my dad; it’s now confirmed that it is indeed cancerous cells in his lungs. But, on the positive side, they are relatively new, so that means, the treatments will start ASAP and they won’t be chemo, yet.
     
     
    *sigh* It’s really nice to be feeling relieved. Acc to the advice of several, I managed to stock up on power bars and lots of milk… lol therefore my eating irregularities didn’t really make me suffer as bad as it could have!
     
    Sleep... well, that’s still pretty elusive, but I am trying to get as much of it as I can, whenever I can get it. So that’s good news too I suppose.
     
    I just realized something, plenty of time when I cannot concentrate, and have a pen and notebook handy, I managed to vent out a lot of things… I wrote journals… with a passion… and after so, so long, that too. And I’m happy! (well, that’s my regular state most of the time, but more than usual I am…)
     
    I think I am sort of an attention hound, I mean… I tend to want attention, and feel terribly sad when I don’t receive it. BUT, when it’s a journal entry, it’s not really meant to be seen, and I’m satisfied keeping it locked in the closet!
     
    Now, even though I am pretty sure I am ready to drop off and pass out when a mosquito hits me on the forehead, I think I’m happier that I’ve been in a long time…
     
    I have so so many people to thank that I can’t even begin to name them all... But you know who you are, thank you for talking tome, I do love to talk, and I do feel better when I talk… so, even without knowing probably you lit up my otherwise dark hours, and I believe I have had quite a few in the past few days.
     
    Like I promised I’d be back, I am… but, not completely… yet. Mentally, maybe… but there’re still some little things to take care of, and I’ll finish what I started. I’m too proud to leave things half done! Lol, I hope that’s a good thing!
     
    Anywhooo… It’s so so good to be back and reading again. I was missing my daily dose of good reads. And now I am going to refill myself. the charge had almost run out and the battery was showing warnings.
     
    Ohhh! And thanks for the b’day wishes, I’m afraid I can’t say I had a blast, but I really did have a better time than I though I would, and I did get a book for a gift… therefore… A happy Frosty went to sleep at night on Sunday! Sniffing a new a book!
     
    Ummm… did I miss anything??? I can’t really remember... So if I do think of something, I’ll just write some more! For now though,
     
    Frosty out!
     
     
     
     
     
     
  2. Frostina
    Okay, so... where to start....
     
    Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. lol
     
    This is not a rant, merely sort of an info dump of sorts. I have been late in returning my edits and it might have seemed that I have been ‘Out of it’. Running around, and seemingly ditzy! (Well, more than normal, that is)
     
    I am sorry for causing inconvenience to those I have, and I know I have been the reason for quite a few.
     
    This is not an excuse, it’s just an explanation of sorts. It started in January, my Ma had been taken ill all of a sudden, and for some reason, my dad (who’s a Doctor BTW) was freaked. Probably because it was so unexpected, and it took turns for the worse with every passing day. I had to run around for days and hold fort there.
     
    For those who don’t know, I am not the healthiest of people(physically, I mean), I kind of have a sword hanging over my head with a a recurring auto immune disease, that rears its head at every possible chance it gets, and I am too lazy to take proper care of myself. Give me some one else to take care of, and you’ll have the job done. but me?
     
    I’m not saying that’s a good thing and I know I should be taking care of myself more, otherwise I am no good, blah blah blah. But when I get back home, I’m too tired to even lift my head, and I can’t be bothered to do anything more than get the milk out of the fridge and hope that it’s enough nutrient to keep me going for the next day.
     
    And so, I managed to fall sick once the adrenaline rush wore off! And thus began my struggles with sleep again! I have been fighting insomnia for a long long time, and being on meds to keep the relapses of the auto-immune disease at bay, I cannot take sleeping pills(prescription ones) either!
     
    Well, my curse, I’m too good at organising. Lol, yes, it sounds funny but, it’s true. My dad had taken ill when I was 17 and was in the final year of high school, and even then, with my Ma freaking out since it was a carcinogenic tumour, it was ALL me who had to do the running around with my dad. I am not saying I didn’t have help. That would be a blasphemous, but did get the job done, and I remember standing outside the OT, with the nurses, ready to give my blood to dad, and being called to the reception because they needed some paperwork signed. Omy, I don’t even know if I’m making much sense. But, oh well, that’s ancient history now, I guess.
     
    So, all that happened is I delivered a stellar performance that time, and I got better at it! Any crisis that arose, and the first person my family would call was me. And sadly that has not changed much in the last 9 years.
     
    It was not really a surprise when I got a call from my hysterical mother last week, saying my dad’s cancer is back, we had suspected it would be and we were hoping to catch it in the earlier stages so that it could be treated as soon as possible. So, there I was, on my phone again, with my uncles and their friends (did I mention ALL my uncles and aunts are doctors too?) trying to fix appointments to get further tests done, to go and check up the institutes and see if they are indeed as good as they claim. Since everyone has their own jobs, and I’m the only one ‘sitting around’, I had to do it. And I did! I swear to you I did! I did the best I could. And when the final test was being done, from the best place in the city (the 3rd test I might add), it looked like one of the earlier places had a faulty machine that had screwed up the CT scan images. That’s when the mess started. Ma’s been so upset over the mess, she just lashed out at me. What hurt the most was,
     
    “How could you let baba be taken to such a place? What if it was an invasive test, and they screwed up? Do you not care AT ALL?”
     
    And I was stunned, so were my uncles and my dad. But ma was relentless. And that hurt.
     
    Anywhoo, now, it’s confirmed that its cancer, and since its almost always multiple sites that are affected by the secondary wave of cancer, the diagnoses and the treatments are to begin shortly. A visit to the doctor that operated on my dad the first time in 2003 paved our next steps. My dad, accompanied by 2 of my uncles (doctors) and ma will be out of the city by Sunday. To go get tested and treated in the best cancer research facilities in the country! (Isn’t it cool how doctors can pull of stuff like that so easily?)
     
    And I will be at home, house sitting and fielding doctor visits and paperwork on this end; basically trying to keep up the communication link between the doctors in the two cities, and the throng of well wishers of my too large family.
     
    Believe you me, my phone has been ringing almost nonstop for the past week, since we got the news about my dad.
     
    I believe I’ve successfully managed to talk your ears off by now, so please excuse my random behaviour, and delays, if/when I make any. And I try to answer to the emails, as soon as possible. Even if I am unable to edit, I’ll be sure to let you know!
     
    If anyone who I edit for want to look for other editors, because of my irregularities, please do so, I will certainly not hold it against anyone, because I KNOW how very frustrating it can be to wait for someone not being able to keep to deadlines.
     
    Anyway... This year has not been my friend, so far and it’s already 5 months into it, so I don’t even have the motivation to say it will look up!
     
    I’ll be back a 100%, and soon! If not anything else, I’m sure about that!
     
    So, wish me luck! And I’ll be around! To those who know and have been putting up with my rants for the past few days, thank you! You have NO idea what it meant to have a listening ear when I had NO ONE to vent to! But it’s just too hard to keep giving the same explanation over and over again, mainly because it’s a long story and I do hate to type! lol
     
    I miss you guys so much that I keep peeking in the chatroom just to see some friendly faces! well, in a manner of speaking! But yes I do
     
    See ya on the other side!
     
     
    Frosty out!
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