LittleBuddhaTW

Well, it's already 9:00 AM on New Year's Day here in Taipei ... a few more hours until it's New Year's back in the States. It was a blissfully uneventful New Year's Eve spent watching TV, napping, and laying around doing nothing, except for spending a couple hours yesterday afternoon with my classmate/thesis editor discussing my thesis over coffee. I've got six chapters to revise (some more than others), and still have to finish the last half of my final chapter ... If I can just get my lazy butt in gear, I should (hopefully) be able to get some work done today (after a few cups of coffee at least) and tomorrow. The next big holiday will be Chinese New Year, in about a month or so, which means a week off from work and school, and another party at my friend Bret's house (my American professor friend who teaches Chinese history here in Taiwan). By that time, hopefully my thesis will be done and I'll be busy preparing for the written portion of the entrance exam for the Ph.D. program. The New Year celebrations sounded pretty tame last night, which was surprising. The Taiwanese (especially those in Taipei) love noise, and I was surprised that I didn't have my ear drums shattered. They had municipal elections a few weeks ago, and that has to have been one of the most annoying events I've ever had to live through ... little blue trucks driving through the neighborhoods 24/7 with speakers blaring election messages, bullhorns, foghorns, firecrackers, rallies, parades ... all at all hours of the day and night constantly for a few weeks. They get into their elections here like nothing I've ever seen. The last presidential election wasn't even as bad ... the next one is coming up in 2008 ... at least it'll give my poor ears a rest for a couple years. But ... I still have to be woken up occasionally at 4 a.m. by firecrackers and parades for weddings and ceremonies at the local Taoist temples (WHY do they have to do that at 4 in the friggin' morning?!?! ), and wading through the thick black-grey smoke from the "ghost money" that they burn for their relatives and the various "gods" twice a month which only adds to the already horrible level of pollution in Taipei. I can't wait until I get my Ph.D. and can get a job as a professor at a nice, quiet university in the countryside in southern Taiwan ... **sigh** I also started reading the story "Laika" last night. So far, I really like it. I'm also writhing in anticipation for Ch. 23 of "Desert Dropping". Another one that I've enjoyed is "My New Brother" by Graeme ... I like things that are unique, and it's written from the perspective of a str8 boy who is trying to come to terms with some of his friends turning out to be gay. That's it for now! Happy New Year to everyone!

Haha ... glad to see that everyone's taken an interest in my tattoos ... The correct romanization is "fo" (not "fu"), and it does refer to "Buddha" ... being Buddhist and all. I got it back when I was still in Florida, sort of as a permanent reminder to myself that regardless of whatever sh*t I come across or get into in my life, that is where my real path lies ... kind of hard to forget when I have to see it every day when I'm washing my crotch in the shower! And I'm not that "intellectual" really ... I'm just good with languages/literature, and particularly like what I'm researching (homoeroticism in pre-modern Chinese literature) ... I got into it about 7 years ago when I read the book "Passions of the Cut Sleeve: The Male Homosexual Tradition in China" (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1990) by Bret Hinsch. After I relocated to Taiwan, I found out that Bret Hinsch had been living here for the past 15 years and teaching Chinese history at a university in Taiwan, so I met up with him and he's been a great friend and mentor since. It's not always easy living here, but he's been my rock. Anyway, thanks to everyone for your welcomes. I'll post another boring entry to my blog later today after I get back from meeting with my "xue jie" (senior female classmate) to discuss my thesis! David

I just hope that whatever it is, Luke and Rory open it together, and it causes them to share a long, warm, love-filled hug and kiss!

Perhaps Jase realizes that Rory probably wouldn't listen to him anyway ... I don't think he would. Like I said before, the only person that I think Rory really trusts is Luke, so Luke is probably the only one that could get through to him. Perhaps Luke should try talking to Jase first as to how to approach Rory or what he should say to him, or how to deal with his clamming up or whatever, but I think Luke is one of the few people that could get through to Rory because he trusts him and makes him feel safe. Rory may not realize that Luke has more than a friendly attraction to him, but he does know that they are very good friends and he believes that Luke cares for him (and doesn't just pity him or something) ... I think Rory knows where he fits in with Luke, just not with everyone else. But then again, this is all pretty silly anyway, because it's just a story, not real life, and we can speculate all we want, but in the end, Dom is going to write what he's going to write, he has a message he wants to get across, and he most likely already knows how all of this is going to turn out in the end. I'm sure it'll be interesting and worth the wait. Too bad we can't all fund his writing hobby so he can spend all day writing for us and not have to work on top of that!

Well, this is my first time writing a blog in English ... I have another blog in Chinese, but unless you can read Chinese, that probably wouldn't be very interesting to most people. Today has been a pretty uneventful day ... just three hours of work in the morning, and now I'm home for the weekend. I need to get my M.A. thesis finished, and hope I can make a good bit of progress on the last chapter this weekend. I'm meeting tomorrow afternoon with one of my older classmates to help me make revisions (Chinese isn't my native language, so gimme a break ... I occasionally make grammatical and usage mistakes! hehe) After that I'll just veg out and/or work on my thesis ... no plans for the New Year either. Because of my thesis writing (and my own laziness/malaise), I haven't been dating for the past few months. I've dated four Taiwanese boys in the past five years that I've been here, but I'm kind of tired of that right now ... even though I'm supposedly an "expert" on Chinese culture and can speak the language fluently, there are still a lot of cultural differences to overcome ... two of the biggest obstacles are how important "family" and "kinship" ties are to Taiwanese/Chinese (I've never been big on the concept of "family") ... and the maturity level of younger Taiwanese guys is much much lower than their counterparts in the West. I guess I'm an "intellectual," and most younger gay guys here only care about clothes, clubbing, and the latest cell phone designs ... kind of hard to find someone who is both "deep" and attractive. But then again, would it be much better in the States? Anyway, I've rambled on enough for today... hopefully I'll be able to keep this up (writing a blog, that is) ... we'll see how it goes! Maybe one day I'll even get up the nerve to write a story of my own ... hehe

I think someone needs to just take charge with Rory ... he obviously has problems reading people and situations and his ability for self-evaluation/reflection is certainly subpar. I think it's good that Eddie is starting to lay down the law a bit, but I think it would be even more beneficial to his growth if others would sit him down and give him a good talking-to as well ... I don't see Seth as being the person to do this, his way of dealing with Rory is different (although seemingly successful to a degree). Ideally, I'd like to see Luke just sit Rory down and have a long, serious chat with him about EVERYTHING, no-holds barred, including how he feels about Rory, and when Rory starts to clam up and not want to face it, Luke needs to make him ... not let him runaway, not let there be any interruptions, and just lay it all out there. The reason I think Luke would be the best person, at least for Rory, is that he is the only person I can see who Rory *really* trusts. He still has issues with Eddie, doesn't feel like he knows Jase, still thinks Seth is rather dubious, and from people he hardly knows like Dave, Angela, or whoever, he's not going to really listen. I think he would definitely listen to Luke, because there is trust and comfort there (Rory has admitted to himself before how Luke makes him feel safe). Will Luke do this? I don't know, because he's not totally perfect either. He's also still just a kid, and he doesn't want to get hurt either ... so despite his apparent affection for Rory, I'm sure he's scared of admitting his feelings to him and getting rejected, or letting himself fall for Rory even more while thinking that he's going to be leaving in a month anyway (even though he won't), or whatever. As for confronting him about his attitude and other issues, I'm sure Luke is scared of pissing off or pushing Rory away. So Luke has his share of issues as well. The problem with this, however, is that if someone doesn't do it in the next month (Luke), then Rory isn't going to feel like there is a reason to stick around, and they'll all miss out. So basically, Luke has to grow some proverbial balls as well. As to Rory's "like-ability," yes he has problems (don't we all?!?!), but it doesn't make me like him any less. Next to Luke, I would love to have Rory as a boyfriend. I think he has the capacity to be a sweet and caring (albeit a bit dense and self-absorbed) person and a good boyfriend, but he needs to work through his issues. But you can't forget that he has been through A LOT in a very, very short period of time ... considering the circumstances (mother dies of cancer as her teenage son watches her wilt away slowly in front of his eyes, he finds out suddenly that he has a long-lost father who turns out to be gay, he jumps into his first ever gay "relationship"with someone like Aaron) ... Rory's been through a lot of sh*t, I'm definitely for giving him a break.

Could this whole weird thing about Mrs. Fisher reminding Rory so much about his own mom mean that *perhaps* she is Rory's long-lost aunt that even Eddie doesn't know about? Grandma Alice sure hasn't been forthcoming about a lot of stuff, so you never know ... perhaps Rory and Seth are cousins ... a long shot, I know, but sometimes my instincts are pretty good ...

I think Dom has made it his mission in life to make us all go crazy with anticipation and to prevent me from being able to focus on finishing my M.A. thesis!!! Anywho, a few thoughts on this chapter ... I'm starting to see that Seth really is a good guy, and the *possibility* that he could end up with Rory (although I still MUCH prefer Luke). But, in the long run, if they don't end up becoming boyfriends, where is Seth gonna fit in in the bigger picture? I think Rory, despite his still being dense when it comes to Luke's affections towards him, is coming along in the personal growth department ... even admitting to himself that he's not "the best judge of character." Back to the Luke/Rory thing, I think Seth's comment/question about Rory trying to make sure that Seth doesn't get in the way of his next romantic relationship by asking if Seth was interested in Luke ... I think that is a very important and telling clue (at least I'm thinking so). As for Luke's romantic interest being Dave, I think that is such a long shot that I wouldn't even consider it. Dave likes Angela, and I think that has been beaten into our heads plenty, and Luke (despite having dated Aaron) is not an idiot, he's not going to sit around and hope his str8 best friend is going to come around for him. I don't think there's any question that Luke likes Rory ... he's gone out of his way to be nice to Rory, dropping hints, parading around naked in front of him, etc. To me, that much is clear ... whether or not they actually end up together is another issue altogether. And finally, Rory is just completely fooling himself if he still thinks he's going back with his grandmother in a month ... I don't know why he insists on repeating it, because I think in his mind (or would that be Dom's mind?), he's not going back ... that's been clear from the get-go. ANYWAY ... DOM ... my M.A. thesis is in your hands ... so Ch. 23 had better answer some questions!!!!

I voted for Luke ... and for no other reason than I think he's about the most perfect guy, definitely the kind of guy I'd go for ... hot, sweet, and sensitive. But you never know ... The anticipation is killing me, though ... Dom's cliffhangers are messing with my ability to finish my M.A. thesis! **sigh**

I've definitely been waiting with baited breath for this one, although it's left me with a lot more questions than answers. Personally, I don't hope Rory ends up with Seth ... I think Rory belongs with Luke, and it's obvious from the little clue dropped in Ch. 20 that Luke is interested in Rory ... and even though they're "family," it wouldn't technically be incest or anything ... hehe ... I guess I just like happy endings! Also, the fact that Rory's even considering "relationships" at all shows that he's planning (perhaps subconsciously) on staying with his dad, and his attitude has certainly changed a lot. Anyway, now that I've read Ch. 21, I think I'm even more anxious to read Ch. 22 than I was for the last one, since no questions/issues have actually been resolved yet.