On Monday, Harriet and I share a table in the library. We get our books out, but Harriet doesn’t open hers. She snaps off a row of chocolate and stares into space, chewing. I try to concentrate on my David Copperfield essay but it’s hard with Harriet sitting right there.
“Are you posing for a portrait?” I ask her, because that’s what she asked me on Friday night.
Harriet turns to me like she’s only just noticed I’m there. She glares at me. “I’m thinking.”
“About Victorian liter
In the morning, Dad’s back in the kitchen. I guess Saturday breakfasts with Dad are part of our new separated-parent routine.
Vicky is much less hostile this time. She digs into Dad’s bacon and eggs with vigour. She gloats about her detention.
“I still don’t think it’s wise to make enemies of the faculty,” Mum says.
“Yes, you still have two and a half years there,” Dad agrees. “You should play nice.”
“It’s people like you who allowed the Nazis to rise to power,” Vicky say
Nicholas is waiting for me at the front gates in the morning.
It’s been exactly one week since we last spoke. A week since we even made eye contact. Straight away, my hopes lift, my heart lifts. Our eyes meet and he gives me a half-smile. A single ray of sunlight has broken through the clouds. I try to do a half-smile back, but I break out into a big stupid grin.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi!” I say back.
“Can we talk?” he says.
“Yeah!” I say. I can’t keep the excitement out of my voic
“Sit with us at lunchtime,” Vicky insists on the way to school on Monday.
I know she’s trying to help, but the prospect of another lunch with the Squeaky Girls is too awful. Plus, the only thing more pathetic than having no friends is having pity-friends. I just mumble something that isn’t quite a yes or a no.
As we pass through the school gates, I look around for Nicholas. It’s a habit. I don’t see him, but I do see that blonde waiter from Sizzler’s, Stu. Stu really does look like h
Friday’s a little better, because I arrive at school fully prepared to be a loner all day. I had more sleep too, so I can actually concentrate in class. I hear others whispering about what parties everyone’s going to this weekend. I hear girls giggle about boys and boys grunt about girls.
When the lunch bell rings, I push my sandwich into my mouth quickly, while people are still filing out of the classroom, then I head to the library. The library’s a safe haven for the friendless.
Th
Mum, Dad. I’m gay.
Gay. Even the word itself sounds gay.
Mum, Dad, I’m gay.
Gay. Gaygaygaygaygaygaygay.
The more I say it, the gayer it sounds. It’s the ay sound that’s the problem. The word just drops off, falls away, like you’re waiting for the word to finish. There’s no hard consonant at the end, no confirmation that you’ve finished. Not like fag or faggot. With faggot, you’ve got the opposite problem – the end is too hard, like a punching a brick wall.
Maybe I c
In one short day, sixteen-year-old Richard has his entire world turned upside down. His coming out attempt backfires, his parents announce they're divorcing, and his secret boyfriend wants time apart. At least things can't get any worse ... right?