Jabberwocky - 10. Storm

X. Storm

Brandon returned a short time later, with Sumna in tow and a sizeable amount of food. Jordan found himself watching them with a new perspective as all four of them ate while cramped into their small quarters. Had Sumna known through the bond that Jassa was already here? Did she know that Jassa had shared their history with them? The girls left shortly after eating and left the two boys alone. Brandon sat down next to Jordan on the bed, quietly, his sketchbook on his lap.

“What’s up?” Jordan asked.

Brandon shrugged, his eyes down on his sketchpad. He scratched at the corner of the cover with a fingernail. “Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Jordan said, nonplussed.

“Are you…sore?” Brandon asked. Jordan glanced at him again, saw that he was blushing.

“A little. But more from the dancing we did last night than anything else.” Jordan caught Brandon’s hand and brought it to his lips and was disappointed when Brandon pulled it away.

“I'm ready to go,” Brandon said, returning his hands to his sketchpad. “To Driamor.”

“Okay,” Jordan said. “We should be moving out soon.”

“I thought about what Sumna and Jassa said, about what my purpose here is. And it was to save Leia. But that’s no longer a possibility. I failed and she died.” Brandon’s face worked and grimaced, like he was trying to hold back tears. “But there is something else I can do. I want to save Leia’s baby. I know that most people think it’s dangerous and I know it’s a result of Rajar raping her-” Brandon pressed the heel of his hand against his eyes. “But no one knows. I don’t know and they don’t know. And I don’t think it’s right for anyone to assume it’s wrong or evil or anything like that. So I at least want to give it a chance. And if it’s just a baby, just an innocent, I think it deserves to live.”

Jordan sighed slightly. He didn’t agree with Brandon’s assessment… this was Rajar’s child after all and while he didn’t believe that children carried the sin of their father, he also was very well aware that Keith had arranged the circumstances of Leia’s and Rajar’s coupling. And from what Brandon had told him, Keith had been very excited about the birth of Leia’s child. None of that boded well for them, for Charion, or for the child itself.

If Jordan had his way, they would already be back on their way to Torran, to the Stonestack, the In Between and home. Brandon was dealing, yes, but it was still obvious he needed help.

Counseling. Familiarity. Home.

But as much as he wanted to just take Brandon and run, he knew it was wrong. He knew very few of Charion’s inhabitants, but he already felt close to those he knew. Dathilda, the cool soothing presence in his mind. Salvo, who had grieved with him and had faced treason by getting him into the palace. Jassa and Sumna, who had taken care of them and asked for nothing in return except for their help. Anailde, who had taken care of him when he was a stranger to everyone.

He couldn’t abandon them, or this world that was on the brink of crisis, subject to Keith’s impulsive whims. Brandon wouldn’t either, and Jordan knew he couldn’t even ask him to.

That left him with very few options. So he would go along with Brandon for right now. Let him do what he needed to do. And if the child became a problem…well, he would deal with that when it was time. He pressed his lips against Brandon’s hair and was puzzled when Brandon shrank away from him.

“What’s wrong?” Jordan asked.

“Nothing,” Brandon mumbled unconvincingly, avoiding his eyes.

“Come on,” Jordan said. “Just last night you were all over me and now this?”

“So what?” Brandon said, standing up and moving away. He stood in the open doorway and looked out, into the foliage. “Didn’t get enough last night?”

“No.” Jordan sighed and stood up too, approached Brandon. He gently slid his fingertips over Brandon’s hips, waited for him to move away again. He didn’t. “Was it too soon?” Jordan asked.

Brandon shook his head, crossed his arms. “No. Fuck. It’s just--” He lowered his head. “I just worry.”

“About what?” Jordan asked.

“Hurting you,” Brandon said.

“You didn’t,” Jordan responded. He let his hands slowly advance, until they were linked together in front of Brandon’s waist. “Not for one second. Not even close.”

“But I could have.”

“You didn’t,” Jordan repeated. “You could have hurt me, if you wanted to. But you didn’t. And that is all that matters.”

Brandon was silent for a long time. “I don’t want to be like him.”

“You’re not.”

“But I could be.”

“No. You couldn’t, Brandon, because you’re not like him. There's something…wrong inside of Rajar. Something that makes him sick and twisted and wrong. And that’s why he did what he did. But you’re not like that Brandon. You're good and brave and loyal and passionate. Hot headed and stubborn too. And I love all of that, because I love you.”

Jordan felt Brandon’s hands cover his own. “I need to get out of here baby. I think I’m going crazy.”

“I’ll take you home. I’ll take you right now, if you want,” Jordan said.

Brandon turned around, pressed his face against Jordan’s shoulder. “I can’t leave without taking care of Leia’s baby. I can’t. It was the last thing she asked for. It was the only thing she wanted. It was the thing she betrayed me to Keith for.”

“Okay. We’ll do that first. Then go home. Sound like a plan?”

Brandon shrugged, almost catching Jordan in the chin with a sharp shoulder. “Alright.” They stood there in silence for a long moment, before Brandon asked, “Do you know your purpose here?”

To help you. To look after you. To be here for you, no matter what.

“Yes.”

Jordan brought up the topic of tertiary bonds later on that afternoon. Brandon nodded and said that Sumna had talked to him about it too.

“They seem to like it,” Brandon said. “But I don’t know. I suppose in some cases, it would be convenient. On the other hand, I wouldn’t want to expose some of the stuff on my mind right now.”

Jordan considered the comment that Brandon had made earlier about going crazy and thought that exposing some of the stuff hidden in his mind might not be a bad idea.

“Do you want to do it?” Brandon suddenly asked. Jordan considered it for a long moment, then shook his head. “No.”

Brandon turned his head, looked at him. He was a little surprised. “No?”

“Well, it seems like you don’t want to. And of course I don’t want you doing anything you don’t want to. Aside from that, it seems that Jassa and Sumna really want us to go for it. I don’t trust them. Do you?”

Brandon frowned. “I don’t know. I think they really do want to stop Keith.”

“I think so too. But I also think they would not be above sacrificing one or both of us if it came to that. They want us to be a stronger team. I get that. But do I think they have our best interests in mind? No.” Jordan let his fingers walk up Brandon’s thigh. “I don’t have a problem forging a tertiary bond. But I want it to be on our terms.”

Brandon nodded. “Okay. So what do we do then?”

Jordan shrugged. “Follow them to the palace. Get inside. Do what we need to do. Use them like they are using us.”

Brandon sighed. “I like them. I want to trust them.”

“I like them too. And I wish we could trust them. But I don’t. And you don’t.”

Brandon shook his head morosely. “You’re right. I don’t trust them. They seem nice enough, but I think there is too much vengeance behind what they are doing. They’ve killed before.”

“Then let them kill again. As long as it isn’t us,” Jordan said. “I think they’ll do what they need to do to keep this world safe and that’s a good thing.”

“I know.” Brandon slid down to lie on his side. “I wish we had never come here. I miss Leia and it hurts so much. I thought…coming here, it gave me so much hope. I wanted so badly to see her, to bring her home to make everything like it had been. But Leia, she was never here. I thought she was, when I saw her in the throne room, but all I found was a deranged Queen who betrayed friends to save a baby that killed her during the birth process. Leia was never here. It is so hard having that hope, then mourning a second time. It would have been better if I had just thought that she hung herself and moved on.”

Jordan laid down next to him. “Would it have? Believing a lie?”

“It was a comforting lie.”

“Truth rarely comforts. But it’s real.”

Brandon blinked. He felt like crying, but the tears weren’t coming, leaving his eyes dry and burning. “I miss her.”

“I know.” Jordan kissed him, briefly. Brandon’s lips were slack and unresponsive against his. He sighed and pulled Brandon to him, feeling the younger man burrow against him, pressing his nose into his neck, curling his arms up against Jordan’s chest and intertwining legs. His softly spoken request was just barely audible to Jordan’s ears.

“Hold me.”

Jordan did.

He waited until Brandon was asleep and then slid out of the bed and left the pod, walking along the walkways and glancing at the landscape around them, watching the sun paint leaves and branches in it’s deep oranges and reds. He thought that as things went on, his worries about Brandon might decrease, but instead they seemed to intensify. He feared that Brandon was perilously close to a breakdown. First Leia’s betrayal, Rajar's assault and then having to mourn for Leia….again….it was a lot for anyone to take. And Brandon felt things so strongly, deeply. Not like himself. Jordan knew he didn’t feel things like other people did. He had learned how to blunt painful emotions at the tender age of 11 and how to block off all feelings when he was 15. Brandon had come right in, with his cockiness, his brashness, his passion, his fury and his enthusiasm and left a massive hole in that wall Jordan had constructed around himself and filled it with love.

But it had been cold and lonely for a long time behind that wall and Jordan didn’t want that to happen to Brandon.

And still…there was the Rajar problem. Neither one of them had talked about it, but it was still there. It was highly unlikely that they could get into the palace and confront Keith without coming across Rajar and even more unlikely considering Brandon’s desire to see Leia’s child. And then what?

Jordan didn’t want Brandon seeing Rajar. Didn’t want Brandon confronting him, didn’t want Brandon anywhere near him.

And he didn’t know what the hell he was going to do to prevent it. But he had to figure something out and soon. Brandon’s fragile psyche was on the edge and Jordan was not going to let Rajar push him over.

He sighed. There were no answers out here. He returned to the room. Brandon was still asleep, his face peaceful and relaxed…an expression that Jordan had seen rarely since arriving here and one that he sorely missed. He smiled a little and slid next to Brandon in the bed, resting his chin on Brandon’s bony shoulder before falling back asleep.

Brandon woke much later. It was storming outside, flashbulb shocks of brightness lighting up the room, followed by the thunders rumbling response. Underneath that, the constant, soothing rhythm of raindrops on leaves, branches, the roof of their tiny temporary home.

He had woken up from a dream he couldn’t fully remember, hard and aroused. It wasn’t anything that felt wrong or unsettling…it felt good. Tentatively, he slid a hand down his stomach, through coarse pubic hair to grasp his cock, and just held it for a moment, feeling the pulse and heat of it against his palm, fingers. He gave it a gentle squeeze, let his head fall back, a breathy groan slipping past his lips.

He drew his hand away and stared at the dark lump that was his boyfriend sleeping calmly next to him. He wanted him. Wanted them to be together like they had been before all this shit. And he wanted this now, when he was feeling aroused and sexy and no fear from the demons lurking in the back of his memory. He leaned forward and nuzzled the line of Jordan’s neck before gently kissing the edge of Jordan’s ears and speaking softly. “Wake up blue eyes.”

Jordan stirred slightly, then became still again. Brandon shook his shoulder firmly, kissing the exposed slip of Jordan’s neck.

“Mmm.” Jordan opened his eyes, yawned. “Bran?”

“Yeah.”

Jordan pushed himself up onto his hands and Brandon shifted back to give him room. “What’s wrong baby?” Jordan asked sleepily, repressing another yawn.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Brandon said. “Everything is fine.”

When Jordan turned to look at him, Brandon leaned forward and kissed him. Gentle at first, then deepening quickly. Jordan didn’t object, kissing him back like he had been hungering for it as much as Brandon had. Jordan’s tongue met his in a slow lazy stroke and he rested a casual hand on Brandon’s knee. Brandon reached for Jordan’s hand and moved it from his knee to his crotch, covering his erection with the firmness of Jordan’s palm. It felt so good and Brandon shifted his hips, pressing further into Jordan’s hand, releasing a wanton moan into Jordan’s mouth, wet and open and sinfully delicious.

Jordan drew back from the kiss slightly, gave Brandon’s cock a gentle squeeze. “Is this what you want?” Jordan asked. His voice was a sexy husky rasp but Brandon could hear the concern there as well.

“Yeah,” Brandon murmured, taking a minute to savor the taste of the delicate skin of Jordan’s throat, scraping his teeth over the tendons in his neck. He moved so he was straddling Jordan, still holding that hand firm against his cock, rubbing against it slowly. “I want to ride you baby.”

Jordan moaned, giving Brandon’s cock another squeeze. Brandon squirmed against him, growling in pleasure, before taking off his shirt. As soon as it was gone, Jordan leaned forward, kissing Brandon’s stomach and sternum, then slid a wet tongue over one of Brandon’s nipples. Brandon arched and groaned, a hand sliding over Jordan’s hair, holding his head against his chest. Jordan was more than happy to take the hint and sucked the small nub into his mouth, teasing it gently with his teeth, his head reeling. He had been taken from sleepy to hot and hard in just a few dizzying seconds and Brandon, wiggling excitedly on his lap, had him half crazy.

He wrestled his younger lover off his lap long enough to remove Brandon’s pants, and then, unable to help himself, leaned down and slid his tongue up the pulsing underside of Brandon’s cock. Brandon moaned deep in his throat. His cock was thick and swollen, the head slick with pre-cum. Jordan ran his tongue around the flushed head, the unique flavor sliding across his tongue before he slowly took Brandon’s cock in his mouth. He wrapped his hand around the base, took Brandon as far back into his throat as he could. It was his first blowjob, sloppy and inexperienced but he felt like he must have done something right because after a few moments, Brandon’s hips started shifting forward, his hand gripped Jordan’s shoulder and then a rush of salty fluid was filling Jordan’s mouth. Jordan swallowed, gagged a little, then swallowed again, clearing his mouth. He took a few more quick breaths, then turned to cover Brandon’s body with his own, kissing him. Brandon could taste himself on his lover’s mouth and hummed contentedly. Jordan drew back slightly and Brandon saw a shiny drop near the corner of Jordan’s mouth and licked it away. Jordan smiled down at him, then got to his feet. Shifting patterns of dark and light flared across Jordan’s body as he pulled his clothes off, Brandon resting and stroking his cock, which was already waking up and wanting more attention.

Jordan slid back onto the bed, over Brandon’s body, kissed him deep. Brandon slid a hand up his neck, making Jordan moan softly in appreciation.

“Prep me,” Brandon requested softly after the kiss ended.

Jordan stared at him, but Brandon’s eyes were nothing but dark glimmers in the occasional flash of lightning. “Be sure baby.”

Brandon nodded. “I am.”

Jordan retrieved the oil and slicked his fingers up, kissed Brandon again, drew it out while he pressed a digit against Brandon’s entrance. Brandon’s grip on Jordan tightened, but the finger slid in with ease.

“Okay baby?” Jordan asked. Brandon nodded.

Jordan knelt in between Brandon’s legs, and slid a hand up the front of Brandon’s thigh as he worked in another finger. Brandon’s body flexed and shifted underneath him and Jordan asked again if he was okay. Brandon nodded.

“Say it baby,” Jordan said.

“I’m okay. I want this,” Brandon said. Jordan bent down, kissed him and gently probed with his fingers. Brandon gasped when Jordan found the spot. Jordan rubbed it with his fingers.

“Still okay?” Jordan asked. He hated not being able to see Brandon’s face clearly.

“Yeah,” Brandon said, but his voice was shaky and unsteady. Jordan was uncertain whether it was due to arousal or anxiety and so withdrew his fingers, leaned down to kiss Brandon. Brandon’s mouth was hungry and eager and Jordan relaxed slightly. He was completely unprepared for when Brandon pushed against him, hard, sending him reeling until he landed on his back, Brandon’s body over his. “Bran-” He was silenced by another hungry kiss.

“You’ve got me worked up baby,” Brandon purred in his ear. “I don’t want to wait any longer.” An oil-slicked hand enveloped Jordan’s cock and he groaned, shivered with sensation. He pushed up into Brandon’s grip, let out a little whine of disappointment when Brandon withdrew his hand. “Patience,” Brandon said. “Wait for me.”

Jordan fisted his hands in the sheets and waited while Brandon gripped his cock and slowly, so slowly, lowered himself down onto it. Jordan growled low in his throat at the warm tight heat engulfing him. He reached up and gripped Brandon’s thighs.

“Bran…” he mumbled.

“Yes?” Brandon asked, riding him slowly. Jordan pushed himself up on one elbow and used his other hand to bring Brandon’s head down to kiss him. Brandon kissed him easily and sweetly, stroking Jordan's cheek with tender fingertips. Jordan felt around blindly until he felt the bottle of oil, then he poured some on his palm and gripped Brandon’s cock, stroking it as Brandon rode him. Brandon made an appreciative noise, moving a little faster and running a hand down Jordan’s chest and stomach. Jordan braced his feet against the bed, thrusting up into Brandon slightly.

Brandon panted and groaned, his cock pulsing hotly in Jordan’s hand. His movements lost their rhythm and he shuddered slightly as he came, cock spurting warm liquid over Jordan’s hand and splattering against his belly and chest. Jordan followed suit just a few seconds later, overwhelmed by the sensation of Brandon’s body tightening so exquisitely around his cock. It roared through his body and blanked out his mind for a moment. When he came to, Brandon was sprawled over his chest, his hair tickling Jordan’s cheek and jaw and Jordan automatically lifted a hand and ran it up Brandon’s back. Brandon lifted his head and sought out Jordan’s mouth with his own, engaging in another long, slow kiss.

“You alright baby?” Jordan asked. Brandon nodded against his shoulder.

“I’m fine. I always was. You don’t need to treat me like I’m glass, like I’m going to break apart if you say the wrong thing.”

Jordan frowned, feeling stung. “I was just trying to make sure you were ready for this, baby.”

“If I wasn’t ready to have sex, I wouldn’t have woken you up in the middle of the night and asked you to fuck me.”

“It was the first time you had bottomed since-”

“I know.” Brandon placed a finger over Jordan’s lips. “And who requested it? I did. Listen. I needed to do this. I wanted to do this. The last time I bottomed was when Rajar raped me. So that's the last memory I have. And I always remembered the pain and the humiliation and the helplessness. And that sucked. I needed a new memory. I needed to bottom and I needed it to be with you. You love me.”

“Yes,” Jordan answered hoarsely.

“That’s all I wanted. I wanted you to fuck me, because I love you and I trust you.” Brandon kissed him again. “So trust me to know what I can and can’t handle. If I don’t want something, I’ll tell you. I know that when I tell you no, you’ll listen.” Brandon blinked furiously as tears sprang forth in his eyes. “So don’t worry about touching me, kissing me, or fucking me. Just love me.”

“I do love you baby. I love you all the time,” Jordan promised. Brandon smiled weakly.

“I know.” He snuggled closer into his boyfriend’s hold. The storm outside had lessened, giving off an occasional rumble of thunder breaking the monotonous rhythm of the rain. “We’ll be okay baby. We’ll make this work.”

Jordan kissed Brandon’s hair in the dark. “I know.”