The Road to Everything - 1. Chapter 01 - The Beginning

The Road to Everything: How we became a family

 

Chapter 01

 

By: Rebelghost85

 

When I first realized I was gay the last thing on my mind was parenthood and having a family. It’s been a long journey, and the road started and ended with the twins. They were one of the most amazing things to ever happen to me, but I'm getting ahead of myself. I’ll start at the beginning.

 

My name is Paul Gemelli. I'm Italian/Filipino, I’ve lived my entire life in Burlington, Vermont and I’m gay. I still remember when I found out. I had been lying on my bed thinking about sex—the verb, not the noun. It seemed like every conversation I had with guys my age was about hot girls and jerking off. The latter, jacking off held an interest, the former didn’t and I was engaging in my favorite new activity. I tried to think about some cute girls while trying to get hard but I realized what turned me on were thoughts of the hot boys at school. It was a scary realization at thirteen-I was gay.

 

I got up and looked in the mirror. Staring back at me was a skinny, five foot tall boy barely into puberty. I was worried that something about my appearance had changed-would everyone be able to tell that I was gay now? Did I act gay? My hair was just beginning to cover my eyes and I immediately decided to cut it. Longer hair was too girlish. Too gay. I needed to bulk up, too. Pushups, sit-ups, pull-ups and running every day from now on. No one would ever be able to ‘tell’ that I was gay. No one could ever know and for a while, it was easy to lie. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my family.

 

A few weeks before our freshmen year started, my best friend Mikey woke me up by calling my cell phone.

 

"Yo Mikey, what's up?" I asked groggily.

“I woke you up, didn’t I?” Mikey chuckled.

“Well yes, as a matter of fact you did, asswipe. What time is it?”

"Time to wake up,” Mikey announced. “Let’s go to the mall. I want to get some new clothes and I need a wingman. We’ve got to look good for school."

“Look good for whom?”

“For whom? Nerd.”

“Answer the god damn question!”

“The ladies, I guess. You ready?”

"I can be. How are we gonna get there?”

“My mom said she can take us.”

“You coming now?"

"We're on our way. Be ready in ten minutes."

"Alright, see you soon."

 

After hanging up I thought about what Mikey said about the ladies. The guy was my best friend and I hated lying to him. His friendship meant more to me than anything else in the world. Mikey and I met the first day of kindergarten. We both had the same Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack. His favorite turtle was Raphael and mine was Leonardo. We pretended to be Ninja Turtles fighting Shredder and his foot soldiers at recess and became instant friends. We made plans to bring in our action figures for show and tell the next day and pretty soon we were spending most afternoons at one of our houses for our first “play dates”. Mikey and I have been best buds ever since.

 

I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to come out to Mikey. Almost every kid in middle school throws around "That's gay" and “faggot.” I didn’t want to be out and alone. It was a lot easier to stay in the closet and keep people from getting too close. I was certain that coming out would ostracize me from everyone—especially Mikey.

 

A honking horn brought me out of my inner dialogue. I threw on a solid yellow t-shirt, some khaki shorts and my brown Chaco flip-flops before heading outside.Mikey and his mom were waiting in the Smith’s silver minivan.

 

"Hi Mama S," I said as I climbed in the back next to Mikey. He was wearing a red polo shirt, his favorite green and blue checkered shorts and his Pumas. "Thanks for giving us a ride to the mall."

 

"No problem Paul. Just give me a call when you're ready to be picked up," she replied.

 

We were pretty quiet on the way to the mall. Mikey closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He does that when he wants to think and I took the opportunity to admire his body. I scanned over his form from his face and the smooth angles of his neck down to his sneakers. I know the gorgeous gay boy falling in love with his gorgeous best friend thing is cliché, but at fourteen years old I loved Mikey in every way possible.

He wasn't model or movie star hot, but Mikey was everything in my world. At 5'4" he was three inches taller than I was. I’d grown a little over the past year but not as much as I wished. Other than our hair color, we were pretty similar. My hair is straight and black. Mikey's hair is straight and brown, and we both spiked it up with gel. Our eyes are brown and we have similar body builds. When I started working out Mikey had naturally joined me. Our dads said we couldn’t start lifting weights until high school but the calisthenics and our participation in sports were starting to show—we looked good. I guess the biggest difference in our appearance happens during the summer. I tan pretty easily but Mikey burns without SPF 50 all over his skin. He tans eventually but it takes a while and I’m always darker than he is throughout the summer.

 

Mikey and I started karate and jujitsu at the YMCA when we were seven. Our parents let us join because of the discipline and self control lessons we would learn, but we originally joined because we wanted to be like the Ninja Turtles. After seven years of hard training, it was finally time for our first black belt test. Our dojo (training hall) had just moved out of the YMCA because our sensei (teacher) wanted to start teaching students techniques not covered by the Y's insurance policy. I know Karate Kid gave YMCA karate a bad name but our dojo was an exception. In every tournament our dojo competed, we came away with more trophies per student than any other school.

 

But back to Mikey: He's perfect. I love everything about him from his hair to his toes. I love how he drapes an arm over my shoulder to share a story or to tell me a secret. I love his laugh. I love the fact that he’s ticklish in his armpits, feet and the backs of his knees but not his neck. I love the way his eyes sparkle with joy when he’s truly happy... Pick something about him and I love it. I knew he loved me, but I didn't think he loved me the way I loved him.

 

When we arrived at the mall we started shopping immediately. After a whirlwind storm through The Gap, American Eagle and Macy’s Mikey and I were done within 30 minutes.We didn’t like to spend hours browsing and trying clothes on in the changing rooms, but we did like hanging at the mall. I didn’t want to go home right away so I made a suggestion.

 

"You want to get some food and then go see a movie before we call your mom?" I asked.

"Sure. Let’s try to get in to see The Blair Witch Project," Mikey said. "I heard it was really good."

 

After inhaling chicken teriyaki at our usual food court ‘restaurant’ we made our way over to the movie theater. We obviously weren’t eighteen so the ticket lady wouldn’t let us buy “R” rated tickets.She didn’t want to sell us tickets to see The Mummy either, but we convinced her we were over thirteen.

 

We each bought medium popcorns with extra butter, Dr. Peppers two boxes of Sour patch kids and went to look for seats.The theater wasn't very crowded. The only other people there were a few old retired couples so Mikey and I were able to grab our regular seats- exactly two-thirds of the way back and smack dab in the middle of the aisle. Before sitting down, Mikey pulled on the front of his shorts and adjusted his equipment. My eyes were immediately drawn to his bulge and it looked like he was half hard! I had to adjust my own shorts because of the immediate hard on I had sprung and I tried to act cool. I hoped that it wasn’t too obvious that I was hiding a boner but Mikey’s smirk told me he knew what was going on. The only thing that kept me from super embarrassment was the fact that he did the same thing seconds ago.While we were waiting for the movie to start, and maybe to pull attention away from our ‘equipment problems’, Mikey talked about the upcoming year.

 

"Paulie, you're gonna be a lady killer next year man. We're gonna be in high school. Do you think we’ll get laid?"

"Heh, I don't know about that," I said.

“We’ll see. Everyone gets laid in high school, right?”

"Whatever. I’m just worried about fitting in. I don't want to think about that shit now."

"Alright. Hey you want to sleep over tonight? I already got the okay on my end."

"Sure,” I answered, happy that Mikey had changed the subject.

 

The previews started so we stopped talking. I honestly don't remember what they were about. What I do remember is that two little kids suddenly appeared and sat in the seats next to us. I had a boy to my right and Mikey had one to his left. They looked like twins and they appeared to be five or six years old.They were both wearing the same slightly worn outfit: a solid grey shirt, athletic shorts and slightly ratty sneakers with no socks.

 

What are kids this young doing in a PG-13 movie without their parents? I thought.

 

I gave Mikey a questioning look but he just shrugged.I decided to ask the one next to me.

 

"Where are your parents?"

"Back there," he pointed. "Mom don't like sitting with us. Can I have some of your popcorn?"

 

His question caught me by surprise and when I didn't answer right away he went for it.

"Wha abou my brudder?"He asked through a mouth full of popcorn.

 

Again Mikey shrugged his shoulders and offered his bucket to the kid next to him.

 

Too late to say no now, I thought. I guess we'll roll with it.

"Hey kid, what's your name?

"My name’s James Paul Collins but everybody calls me Jimmy.”

“Don't you know not to talk to strangers?”

“You ain't a stranger. You're just a kid."

"I'm a teenager. Not a kid, kid. Who are you?" I asked the other one.

 

"My name’s John Michael Collins but everybody calls me Johnny."

"Well Johnny I hope you washed your hands. I'm Mike and this is Paul," Mikey whispered, "now quiet. The movie's starting."

 

Mikey and I weren’t very hungry but the boys went through the popcorn like vacuum cleaners. By the time the opening credits had finished the buckets were empty. Jimmy took a sip of my Dr. Pepper without asking so I let him have the rest of it. Two seats over I noticed Johnny doing the same thing. The four of us sat there silently watching the movie as the boys finished off our sodas. About forty-five minutes in, I decided to break out my Sour patch kids. I figured I'd share them, but after I offered the box to Jimmy, he didn't take any. When I looked over, Jimmy was curled up in the far corner of his seat with his head buried in the crook of his arm.

 

"Hey kid, you OK?" I whispered. No response. "James? Jimmy? Kid?" I asked a bit louder.

 

I didn’t think the movie was scary but I probably would have been afraid if I were five. I reached a hand out to comfort him and as soon as I made contact, he sprang over the armrest and jumped onto my lap.

 

"Ooof." I exhaled. He almost knocked the wind out of me.

 

The noise drew the attention of Mikey and Johnny. When Johnny saw what Jimmy had done he leapt onto Mikey's lap. Jimmy squirmed around a bit but when I wrapped my arms around the boy he settled down. Mikey copied me in comforting the boy on his lap and shot me a look. This time it was my turn to shrug. There wasn't anything we could do; It felt kind of nice comforting them.

 

We stayed that way for a while and shared the sour patch kids. The new positions somehow made Johnny and Jimmy less afraid. They didn't hide from the screen anymore but there were a few jumps of fright. After about fifteen minutes Jimmy turned his head around.

 

"I need to pee," he whispered.

"Alright, go ahead."

 

I moved my arms out of the way to let him go. Johnny followed his brother.A little later they came back and jumped right back onto our laps.

 

After the movie ended we said goodbye to the boys and left the theater.

“They were pretty cool weren’t they?” Mikey asked.

"The two kids?” I asked. Mikey nodded his head.

“ Yeah,” I continued, “I felt like a big brother or something.”

“Heh. I didn’t know you had it in you,” he said, punching me lightly on the arm.

“Hey!” I complained, returning the hit. “I could say the same to you. Wait up a bit, I gotta piss."

"Me too."

 

I had to struggle not to look at Mikey when we were at the urinal. If I got caught looking he might guess the truth. When we were little we’d share the same stall to make sure no one else could see us peeing but we had stopped in fourth grade. After I finished I washed my hands and walked out. Mikey was right behind me. As soon as we left the restroom, we saw the twins there waiting for us.

 

"Where are your parents?" I asked.

"Not here," Johnny answered.

"You said your mom was behind us," Mikey said worriedly.

"She left," said Jimmy. "She does that a lot for business."

"Where is she?" Mikey asked.

"Dunno. Probably on Church Street," Jimmy replied.

"What are you going to do now?" I asked.

"Look for her," they said.

"By yourselves?"

"Yeah. We do it all the time."

Mikey and I hurriedly blurted the same thing.

"We'll go with you."

 

On the walk to Church St. the sunlight allowed me to get a better look at them. Jimmy and Johnny had small button noses and their ears were a bit too big for their heads but I had the feeling that they’d grow into them. They still had all of their baby teeth but it wouldn’t be long before they started to fall out. I bet they’ll look really cute with missing front teeth. Their smiles were contagious and amazing. When one of the twins smiled his whole face lit up and his eyes shone with equal parts innocence, mischief and joy. I found myself wanting to make them smile all the time.

 

Johnny didn’t make much eye contact but Jimmy would look briefly into my eyes with a serious, almost adult look I couldn’t read. His blue eyes complemented the rest of his features but I didn’t understand why it felt like Jimmy could see the whole extent of my character during those glances. The strangest part of it all was that I hoped that he liked me. I hoped that the twins liked us.

 

We learned that the boys were identical twins and that they were five years old. They lived in a Section 8 housing community and they were about to enter Kindergarten. The boys thought it was cool thattheir middle names were the same as our first names but they didn’t dwell on it for long. It really didn’t seem like they dwelled on anything for a long time. They spent most of their time getting distracted and doing something new.Like most five year olds they were cute and they had incredible energy. They ran all over the place, pushing and shoving each other and dodging behind us constantly. They didn't seem to know about street safety and after they almost got run over by a bike Mikey and I convinced them to ride piggy back. It seemed that the only way to calm them down was physical contact.

 

When we got to Church St. the boys pointed to their mother: a young-looking, petite, blond woman. Her shirt had an enlarged v-neck opening revealing a pale shoulder and her skirt was definitely on the short side of the spectrum. Black knee-length boots finished up the look. It was easy to see the family resemblance between her and the twins. My first guess would have been that she was their sister rather than their mother. I learned later that she was in her early twenties but she looked like she was one of the college freshman newly arrived in town.

 

“There she is!” The boys exclaimed as they shimmied down our backs. They ran up to her and started talking as fast as they could.

 

"Mom where were you? You left without us.” Johnny asked.

"Yeah it was a good thing Mike and Paul were there." Jimmy added excitedly.

"Yeah, we were scared in the movie and they helped us find you."

"Mike and Paul are really cool mom."

"And they gave us popcorn and soda and candy!"

"They fed you? You don't want any money do ya?" she asked, shooting us a suspicious glance.

"No, not at all," Mikey said. "We bought too much food anyway. It would have gone to waste."

"Well then thanks,” she replied, immediately turning friendly. “I'm Cindy."

 

We shook hands with Cindy, gave the little guys a pound and then they had to catch the bus home. They looked so cute with their noses pressed against the window as they waved bye.

When they were out of site, Mikey called his mom and fifteen minutes later she dropped us off at my house. Mikey reminded me about the plan to sleep over at his house so I asked my parents.

 

"Mom can I sleep over at Mikey’s tonight?"

"Not tonight Paul. Your Aunt Betsy is coming over and your dad wants everyone at home."

"Alright," I sighed.

"You're welcome to join us Michael," my mom said.

 

Mikey didn't like my Aunt Betsy and I didn't blame him. She was angry all the time and always really judgmental. She was single but it wasn’t because of her looks. She was pretty enough; it was her personality that kept her from creating a meaningful and lasting relationship. She was a conniver and she gossiped about other people behind their backs. I didn’t like her because she called Mikey a loser and a slacker.

 

"Sorry Mama G, but my mom wants me home for dinner tonight too." He looked at me apologetically and waved goodbye. "I've got to go. See ya."

 

We gave each other our customary fist pound to half hug goodbye and he was out the door.

 

I was distracted the entire night. Something was bothering me and I couldn’t figure out what it was. Not even Aunt Betsy's jibes throughout dinner got a response out of me. She usually criticizes everyone in the family during meals but I usually get the most complaints. They range from “Why did you choose Augustine as your confirmation name? He was a homosexual” to “Your hair is too long/short/messy-looking/weird.” Instead of arguing like usual I barely paid attention and didn’t speak unless I needed someone to pass food across the table.

 

After Aunt Betsy had left my mom pulled me aside for a chat.

 

“Are you alright Paul?” she asked. “You were a bit withdrawn during dinner.”

“Nothing’s wrong mom. I just have something on my mind right now. I’m sorry I didn’t participate more at dinner but I guess I’m just tired.”

“Alright honey. Just remember that you can talk to your dad or me if you need help.”

“I know. I’m going up to my room to read and then I’m going to sleep. Night.”

“Good night.”

 

Later that night in bed, I realized that meeting Jimmy and Johnny affected me quite a bit. I actually had fun taking care of a couple of five year olds and it bothered me that I would probably never have kids of my own. I drifted off to sleep dreaming about my future. Could I ever have kids? The boys stayed in my mind for weeks until life became busy.

 

To be continued...

 

Next time: Paul and Mikey’s relationship changes.