Jabberwocky - 19. Going Home

XIX. Going Home

Brandon woke up easily the next morning. Jordan was lying with him, wrapped up around him. Sheah was already up, feeding Ezekial.... and watching them, Brandon noticed, feeling uneasy and embarrassed. He carefully untangled himself from Jordan and approached.

"Sleep well?" he asked, kneeling down under the guise of gathering up his cloak, but in honesty, he just wanted to see Ezekial again. Leia's eyes in an alien face.

Sheah smiled in understanding, putting aside the flask and patting Ezekial on the back. "Want to hold him?" she asked.

Brandon nodded, feeling awkward as the baby was placed into his arms. He wasn't sure how to hold babies, but he did know that he didn't want to drop him so he pulled Ezekial in close to his body and that seemed to suit Ezekial just fine.

"He is so quiet," Brandon noted. "Does he ever cry?"

"Not much," Sheah admitted. "He whimpers a lot, but he usually doesn't cry. But when he does, it can damage your hearing."

"Is he always going to have that white fuzz on him?" Brandon asked.

Sheah shook her head. "No. As Reeska children grow, they shed their skin several times until they reach adulthood."

The picture Brandon drew of a person tearing their skin off swept through his mind again. "But he isn't full Reeska...Ezekial's mother..."

"I know," Sheah said. "I know. Leia was from your world."

Brandon's mouth dried up. "How do you know that?"

"Rajar spoke of her. Often. And of you sometimes. But rarely, because it hurt. He loved Leia first."

"Rajar didn't love us," Brandon shot back angrily. He didn't care if he was insulting Rajar's sister, or sexual partner, or Ezekial's caretaker, or whoever the hell she was. "He didn't love me and he didn't love Leia. He raped her. And me."

"I know. And it tore at him horribly." She blinked several times. "Did you know that Reeska's mate for life?"

Brandon snorted. "Right."

"Rajar is a Reeska. Leia was his life mate. However they come together, he loved her strongly. Reeskas love everyone they mate with, but the first mating is the strongest."

Brandon shook his head and she misunderstood his denial for lack of understanding. "That is how it works for our kind. Mating triggers love. And it's a lifelong bond, that first one. So many Reeskas wait until maturity to mate for that very reason.

Rajar was so young. Too young. When Rajar met Keith, he was already anxious to leave with him, to see different places, different worlds. It wasn't hard for Keith to seduce him with promises of adventure and excitement. And when I joined him here, at the palace, and heard of what he had done..." Sheah shook her head. "It is a great sin what Keith had orchestrated. He knew that Rajar would not break a taboo against taking an unwilling mate. So Keith let his first mating hunger grow and then pulled Rajar to... that other place."

"Earth," Brandon said. He felt cold and hot, heavy and brittle at the same time, with the small bundle in his arms helping him hold it all together, refusing to let him break apart.

"Yes. He told me it was a horrible place of foul air and poison food. It was full of huge monsters that roared terribly and breathed toxic smoke that would shoot beams of sunlight through their eyes as they raced towards you. There was so much noise and people who spoke no language he knew all around them. Keith took him to the home of a native girl, and in his madness and his hunger, he took her..."

Sheah shook her head. "It was a horrible sin, and Rajar never forgave himself and sought repentance everyday. Even though it brought us the foretold one, it was still conceived in sin and there is no joy from that."

"It is too bad that you heard all of what Rajar did, because it is all true," Brandon said. "But I hope you are not going to stand there and expect me to reassure you that it is all okay, because it is not. He raped me. And I am going to have to live with that for the rest of my life, as is my lover. And he did the same exact thing to my best friend, my soul sister, and it ended up killing her."

"She died bringing forth the foretold one. She should be honored for being chosen for such a meaningful sacr-"

"Shut up," Brandon ground out. "Shut the fuck up." With great effort, he gently deposited the baby back in Sheah's arms. It wasn't the infant's fault that his caretaker was an insensitive fuckwad.

He stalked back to Jordan who was sitting up, but whose eyes were closed, his mind turned inward. Brandon didn't try to follow his thoughts, but sat down to him, stewing in fury at Sheah's words. Leia had been meaningless to them, nothing more than a vessel for a prophesized child. None of them cared about how much she had suffered, or how horribly she had died. They didn't hear her screams tearing at their ears at night, didn't see her agonized face when trying to dream.

After a while, he felt Jordan's gentle, curious inquisition through the hazy mist of anger. Brandon tried to relax and let his anger bleed out. His was a private rage and he felt like being selfish with it. He dropped down next to Jordan and rested his head on his drawn up knees. I want out of here.

You're angry, Jordan noted in response.

Yes, Brandon seethed back.

Jordan rubbed a hand on his back. Wanna-

No.

Okay, Jordan agreed easily. He stood up and stretched a little, then glanced at Sheah, who was calmly swaddling the baby. Jordan felt an odd longing, a pull deep in his stomach. Ezekial was the first infant he had seen since Mattie. He wanted out of there, too.

We need to move. They are looking for us.

Who? Brandon looked up. Sumna and Jassa?

Yes.

Brandon scrambled to his feet. Are they on their way here?

Jordan shook his head slightly. No, they are still at the palace. I think they are trying to stabilize whatever remnants of a working government are still present there. But they have combed the palace for us as well as Ezekial, and- Jordan suddenly paused, grabbed Brandon's arm. Odwayon!

Brandon could barely comprehend and form a reply to that unexpected statement before his mind was full of images and memories of Odwayon, their tree pod, the maze of walkways, the breathtaking views and the swirling dizziness of height. The festival night, with the flickering of firelight against trees and shadowed faces, the dancers with their long exotic limbs shining in the light and spinning in contortions that Earth bound physics could never imagine. The music and the pounding, symphonic melody of it in their ears.

They eased away, almost as suddenly as they had arrived and Brandon shot Jordan a startled gaze, almost angry.

The Hell was that? Brandon demanded. Jordan knew that he hated it when he did stuff to his mind.

They are looking for us. Mentally, not physically. Jordan explained. They are subtle, so you might not realize it but they are attempting to probe. I couldn't warn you in time and it would look suspicious if you went ahead and put up a shield, so I gave you a little mental push. I'm trying to misdirect them. Hopefully they think we are on our way to Odwayon right now. Jordan gave him an apologetic glance. Sorry baby. I wouldn't do it if it wasn't important.

Brandon gave him a nod, acknowledging the apology. But he was still too shaken to accept it.

Are you still shielded? Jordan asked. Brandon nodded. Even though he hadn't needed to for most of his time in Charion, it was still second nature.

From everyone except you.

Good. Stay that way. It will only strengthen the idea that we are heading for Odwayon and don't want anyone to find us.

Brandon shrugged. Any warmth he had for either one of them was gone now. And he wasn't worried. If they wanted to come, let them come. He would fight both of them to the death to protect Ezekial.

Something most have shown in his thoughts, for Jordan gave him a worried look.

Take it easy baby. I'm not happy with them either, but the less we focus on them the better.

Why not? Brandon pressed.

Sumna poisoned me and her working partner, which was bad enough, then took you into a situation where you could have been hurt--tortured or killed. If we come across them again, you won't have to fight them to the death...I will be more than happy to do it for you.

I chose to go with them-

Yes, and I have quite a few thoughts on that matter too.

Jordan's anger flared up bright and sudden and Brandon shuddered from the intensity of it, even as he understood it.

He was more than willing to let the matter drop.

They walked along in relative silence for most of the morning, stopping regularly so Sheah could feed Ezekial. She didn't attempt to start a conversation with them again, for which Brandon was grateful. Jordan had eventually nudged his way past Brandon's defenses to find out why he was angry, and Brandon, still cowed from Jordan's previous show of anger, let him.

Leia? Jordan asked.

Brandon frowned. Yeah.

Why?

Brandon sighed a little and let Jordan into the conversation he had with Sheah. I couldn't stand the way she was talking about...them. Like...like...

Like she was defending him? Jordan asked.

Brandon nodded miserably. Jordan moved a little closer.

Well, she sees things from a different perspective than you. I know that she knows what horrible things Rajar did, but she doesn't have the same emotional involvement that you have regarding both him and Leia. She sounds like she is close to him, the way you are with Leia. It's natural for her to try to find some way to explain his behavior, to rationalize it into something more acceptable.

Brandon pulled away from him, feeling stung. Just whose side are you on?

Yours, of course, baby. I am just trying to explain to you how she might be thinking. It's easier for me to be objective on this than you and that's okay, too. It's normal.

Do you think I shouldn't be angry with her?

No. Anger is an emotion. It's not a good one, it's not a bad one, but it is a normal one. She is on the side of someone who hurt you terribly.

I feel like she wants me to forgive him. And I can't, baby. I want to...but I can't.

Of course not.

I keep on... I wonder about him.

Like what?

Like...why he went up against Elizabeth the way he did. He knew how to use a knife, I saw that with the way he went up against Keith. When he tried to stop Elizabeth, he didn't even try to grab her armed hand. It was like...

He wanted her to attack him, Jordan supplied.

Yeah. I don't get it.

I think, maybe, if Sheah is being truthful, that is exactly what happened. He loved Leia and she is dead. Died bringing a child into the world that he forced on her unwillingly. If he did feel guilty about that, and if he felt guilty about what he did to you, and if he did love his victims, as she claimed.... I can see why he might sacrifice his life to defend you.

If that is true...he knew I hated him. Loathed him. And even so, he did that. He died for me.

Because he loved you. The way I do.

Brandon stopped walking. How could I?

Jordan stopped as well and turned to face him. How could you what?

The brunt of emotion struck him seconds before Brandon could shape them into coherent words. I can't forgive him. I can't. I want to. Rajar killed Keith to help avenge Leia, myself and for himself, I'm sure. And he let Elizabeth kill him because he couldn't live with himself anymore. On top of that, he did it to save my life. I can't think of anything more heroic. And I can't get past what he did to feel...grateful or comforted or anything at all.

Jordan caught Brandon by the shoulder, pressed his head against his own for a moment.

Baby, it is okay. What he did to you was horrible. It will never be okay, never ever, and it is something that will stay with you for the rest of your life. That is unforgivable. While what he did was admirable and beautiful, there are some sins that can't be redeemed. And you shouldn't feel like there is anything wrong with you for feeling this way. I don't forgive him for what he did to you. I am grateful for what he did do for you, and for Leia and for himself ultimately, but that doesn't cancel out what he did to you. It doesn't even come close. Forgiveness might come with time, or it might not. But don't feel.... pressured to forgive him for doing something horrible to you, no matter what good deeds he has done. If forgiveness comes, it will be on your terms and at your time. Don't force it.

But I want to. I really do.

Baby, I think you have a lot to work through before you get to that point. The fact that you want this is a good thing. But give it time. Okay?

Jordan could tell that Brandon didn't like this idea. But he finally nodded in agreement. They continued on and found that Sheah had sat down to wait for them. She had found some berries that she claimed were edible and passed them around with slices of bread that were covered with honey and nuts.

"Where are you taking us, exactly?" Jordan asked after they had eaten their meager meal.

"I am taking Ezekial home," Sheah said. She was feeding the baby, something that she did often. Brandon wondered if human babies ate that much. "He should be with his people and away from the palace politics."

"Where is your home?" Jordan asked. "Is it near a landmark or something?"

Sheah looked at him blankly.

Brandon rummaged in his knapsack and pulled out the map he had of Charion and gave it to Jordan. Jordan spread it out on the ground. Sheah leaned over and looked at it, studying the symbols while she patted Ezekial on the back, trying to get a burp out of him. "There, I think," she said. Brandon glanced over Jordan's shoulder and saw she was pointing to a small area that was an inch or so above the Stonestack.

Makes sense, Jordan told Brandon. Keith probably went to the first settlement he could find to pick up a shapeshifter.

"Do all of your people live there?" Jordan asked aloud.

Sheah shook her head. "No. We used to live all together in a big community, and then we started to get hunted and killed for our venom and our children were being kidnapped and enslaved, so we broke up into tribes and settled in different parts of the land to make it harder for people to find us."

"How many tribes are there now?" Jordan asked.

Sheah rolled her shoulders and stretched her neck a little, before swaddling Ezekial back up. "About forty that I know of. Probably more that I don't know of. And I'm not telling you where any of them are, so don't bother asking."

"We don't want to know," Jordan softly reassured her.

"Want me to take him?" Brandon asked suddenly. Sheah glanced at him nonplussed. "Ezekial," Brandon added. "You've been carrying him all day. You look tired."

"I don't trust you," Sheah said.

"Rajar did," Brandon replied. "I'm not going to hurt him. I love him as much as you do. His mother was just as important to me as his father was to you."

"He won't hurt him," Jordan agreed. "I won't let him."

Sheah looked uncertain still. Brandon simply held out his arms and waited. Eventually, she acquiesced, bundling Ezekial into a sling and arranging it over Brandon's chest. "Hold on, because he likes to squirm if he isn't wrapped tightly," she warned.

"I've got him," Brandon reassured her, cradling the baby's warm body against his chest. He could feel the infant's heartbeat, oddly enough, thrumming against his own chest even through all those layers of cloth. It was comforting, somehow, feeling that fast, fluttery beat resonating against him. It melted into a back beat against his feet hitting the ground, making walking into a soothing type of meditation lead by nothing but feeling, the heartbeat and the pressure of feet against unyielding ground.

It calmed his mind, the screaming disorganization that had been spiraling inside him ever since he broke into the palace and confronted Rajar. He was almost tempted to explore the memories of those uncomfortable experiences.... standing in front of Rajar, sick with panic and anxiety, as the shape-shifter tried to explain himself, the horrifying relief when Rajar had killed Keith, the heart crushing sorrow when Elizabeth had killed Rajar, those strange surreal moments as Rajar's life ended, with Brandon on his knees, comforting the man who had raped him a few months before. Emotions he hadn't even been able to put a name to until now.

He was tempted, but resisted. He recognized this brand of calm. It was the same one that Maikeeli had given him in Odwayon that had allowed him to open up and accept what had happened to him when the wound was still new and raw and fresh. But he didn't want to deal with what might be left behind when all the calm eased away, because he already knew Ezekial would not be coming with them. And right now, the calm just felt good. It quieted his mind and let him think. And it felt so good.

He glanced down and saw Ezekial was awake inside his sling, staring up at him with wise, ancient eyes, and his smooth stride stumbled a little as his heart filled with awe and that bubble of surrealism. Here he was, still a stranger in another world, cradling a god in his arms.

Calm baby, Jordan reminded him gently. God or not, he is still a baby. Helpless.

I know. I know. You just don't understand how this feels, Brandon returned. Talk to her. Find out why we are not being chased and why they think the baby is so important.

"Sheah." Jordan moved closer to her, steadying her as she stumbled over a piece of underbrush. "Do the soldiers from the palace know where we are going? I noticed we haven't been pursued."

Sheah shook her head. "No. Our settlements are small and hidden. If someone does come across them, it is usually by accident. But our magic did not work against Keith. His otherworld eyes saw us clearly, and he approached with the witch woman and seduced one of us away. I petitioned against the village elders to go after him, and when they refused, I ran away. I am not sure what kind of reception I will get when I return, but if I have the prophesized child with me, I should be allowed back. Keith, the witch, myself and Rajar were about the only ones who knew of his importance."

And Sumna and Jassa and anyone else who is an Enabler or Creator themselves, Brandon added.

"To everyone else, he was just the heir of the Queen. Since the Queen is chosen by the resemblance to our Exalted One and not heir succession, he was rather unimportant besides his position in the royal line. But Keith wanted him groomed as the next..." Sheah appeared to struggle for words.

"Messiah?" Jordan supplied.

"Similar," Sheah said. "But yes, he knew that the child was the foretold one and wanted to use him to advance his own gains. But with him and everyone else who knew who he was...gone, then there will not be many who thinks he is worth looking for. Guards have been sent out, I'm sure, but they will not find us. Not in Reeska's woods at least. Our magic will hide us. And the prophesized child will not be found if he doesn't wish to be."

"And how do you know he is the prophesized child?" Jordan asked.

"He has been foretold," Sheah answered, as if that answered everything.

"Foretold what?"

Sheah sighed slightly. "I can't remember all of it, the way it was told to my people, but it was told that there would be a child born from an outcast that would liberate our people, bring us out of hiding so that we would no longer have to live in fear. And he would rule for many, many years to subjugate those who brought suffering and usher in a new era. Then, at the end of his reign, he will deliver a new prophecy for the next age. And it will be kept in the history of our people the way this one has been."

So it looks like this prophecy differs depending on what race is going to be affected by it. He'll be a hero to some, a nightmare to others, Jordan pointed out.

Prophecies like this cannot be specific for everybody, Brandon reminded him. He is a hero to Sheah's people and a possible threat to Keith's monarchy and whatever cause Sumna and Jassa were behind. The prophecy that you read about took a middle of the road stand. Regardless, it sounds like he is going to shake up whatever kind of social order exists in Charion right now. That could lead to civil war.

Either that or unite the races, Jordan pointed out.

Regardless. If we were to take him away...

Jordan shook his head. Whoever he is, he is too important to take away from Charion. Instead of the argument he expected, he felt only guilty relief from Brandon, who obviously felt the same way.

Good. I don't want to take him back to Earth with us. He belongs here. Besides...after what happened to Leia...

I know. But Jordan couldn't stop the ripple of unease as he watched Brandon's rapt expression as he watched the baby asleep in his sling. I know.

That evening, they sat together, Brandon resting back against Jordan's chest as they watched Sheah, a short ways off, taking care of Ezekial. Brandon had given him back easily enough that evening when it was time for him to be fed and Sheah had relaxed marginally.

I seriously think she's worried that you were going to take off with the kid, Jordan admitted.

Rajar told me to stay away from Ezekial, Brandon noted.

Jordan felt that memory wind through his own mind. Yes.

But that was before...things happened. I think he was afraid I was going to try and hurt him. Like Sumna and Jassa might have wanted.

Probably. But I think we did the best thing. Sheah obviously is invested in him and his safety. And he will grow up among his own people. I think Rajar would have liked that.

"Sheah," Brandon called. She looked up as Brandon approached. "Did Rajar talk to you about Ezekial?"

Her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Did he have a plan? To return Ezekial to your people?"

"He just told me to take care Ezekial and if there was an opportunity to escape that wouldn't endanger both of us, we were to take it." Sheah wrapped Ezekial in a new diaper and set about swaddling him. "I had always assumed he would be with us when we left, or would meet us later."

"Yeah." Brandon doubted they would have kept company if Rajar had joined them. "Are we close to your destination?"

"We will be there by noon tomorrow," Sheah reassured him. "We will part ways there. Outsiders are not allowed."

Brandon traced Ezekial's cheek with a finger. Ezekial stirred and searched for his fingertip with his mouth. "You do believe he is a prophesized child?"

"Yes," Sheah replied. "He will be raised by our people who believe all life is sacred. He will have a pilgrimage, where he will meet others, some for aid, some for adversity. But until that time comes, he must be protected. There are others that covet a prophesized child and others that still hunt us for our venoms, or enslave us for their own means. He will be safe."

"You are sure?" Brandon asked.

Sheah gestured to the heavy forest around them. "Have you come across another soul since I took you here?"

"No."

"You don't even know where you are, and you have a map of the land with you. We will be at your stack of stones tomorrow at noon, and I am less than a day's hike from my people. I know this forest, but outsiders do not. The best protection we have is to stay hidden and we have learned how to do that very, very well. And we will hold the well being of the prophesized child as our highest value." Sheah picked up Ezekial and cradled him against her body. "And I'm sure he will develop his own self protection skills as he grows, if the needs them. Charion takes care of their own. Good night."

Brandon returned back to Jordan, who gave him some bread and cheese. Sheah hadn't packed much food, most of it was for Ezekial, but according to her, they would be near their destination soon anyway. He never would have guessed that going through the woods would be that much shorter, but he supposed if you knew where you were going, it would be. But not getting lost would be the key.

Alright? Jordan checked. He wasn't overly concerned, Brandon's emotional state read pretty stable, but he wanted to double check. Brandon's emotional self was far more complex than his was, and sometimes what he felt initially wasn't what was really going on.

Yes, Brandon said. I was worried about leaving Ezekial here to an uncertain future in what is essentially the hands of a stranger, but then Sheah said something that made me feel better.

Charion takes care of their own?

Yeah.

Jordan laid down on his back, an arm pillowed behind his head, and stared up at him. That was like what Sumna and Jassa told us. That you shouldn't try to change Charion and just let it do what it wants to do.

I know. Brandon watched him, but made no move to lay down with him. I think if we took him back, like I wanted to, we would have been making a mistake. It didn't work for Rajar to go to our world and it didn't work for Leia to come here. Ezekial is iffy, because he is half Leia and half Rajar, but I wouldn't want to take the chance, especially since he is firmly rooted in Charion mythology. And it wouldn't be any better than what Keith was trying to do. It would change things that aren't meant to be changed. Ezekial was meant to be here and I just have to trust Charion to take care of him.

Jordan nodded, although he could feel how much that scared Brandon.

It just scares me to leave him here, Brandon continued. I still feel like I let Leia down and the only way I can make it up to her is to stay here and take care of her son. He meant everything to her. She died for him. She cared so much about him that she betrayed me to Keith for him.

He felt the familiar grief well up inside him, the endless black maw of it waiting to devour him again, but he was too exhausted for tears, for sobbing. He just laid down on top of Jordan, let his boyfriend's hands stroke his hair and his back as the ache ate its way into his chest again and the sadness settled over him.

Jordan gave him some time, just offering comfort. We will be home soon, Jordan pointed out after a while, taking comfort in the thought. Home meant good things. Family, counseling, familiarity for Brandon. Physical comfort too...hot showers, warm beds. Safety. What will we say?

That I ran away, Brandon insisted.

That is going to get you in trouble.

Trouble for me means I get grounded, Brandon pointed out. Trouble for you means that you go to jail. Remember that I am still a minor and that you are an adult. If it looks like you forced me to go somewhere with you or even if I went willingly, my parents could slap a kidnapping charge on you. You could go to jail.

We'll see what Dylan would say about that, Jordan thought before he could stop himself. Do you really think your parents will have me arrested?

I don't know how they will react. I've never run away before.

Jordan continued to rub Brandon's back. He wasn't too concerned. His brother was a brilliant lawyer and he was sure that Brandon would do whatever he needed to do to keep Jordan out of jail. But still, he wasn't sure how Dylan would greet him upon returning to Earth, and he didn't want to strain the relationship between himself and Brandon's parents if that was avoidable.

Brandon picked up on his thoughts. That is why it has to be my idea, baby, he reassured Jordan. I am going to say that I ran away because...because of the whole gay thing and feeling confused and...and maybe saying something about being harassed by Keith, which wouldn't be a lie. So I ran away and you went after me and found me and convinced me to come back home.

And we couldn't call because-?

Brandon thought about that one. Well, obviously I had lost my phone. And...well, we didn't exactly leave with our wallets and our cars, did we?

We make very bad runaways.

Which is how you convinced me to come back home.

Jordan brushed back Brandon's hair. Baby, you already know that I want you to see someone.

I know.

To talk to.

I know.

Will you-

I'll think about it.

Jordan knew not to push.

Anything from Sumna and Jassa? Brandon asked.

No, they are as well shielded as we are. I got a sense from them, while they were looking for us...I don't think they are terribly invested in finding us or Ezekial.

Really? Brandon asked, turning his head to watch Jordan. Why?

They knew they would be stirring up a hornet's nest, going in the way they did and confronting Keith and Elizabeth. And I think that is exactly where they want to be. I think they wanted to end up in a position where they could get their hands into rebuilding some kind of stable government for Charion. It is their home, remember? I think finding Ezekial and disposing of him so that he doesn't ruin their plans would have been a nice bonus-

Jordan felt the surge of bile from his boyfriend's emotions, but pressed on.

-but he isn't a priority right and if they think about it, they really have no way to find him right now anyway.

Brandon sighed. I didn't know going home would be so damn complicated.

Me neither baby.

Surely enough, the next day, shortly after the sun reached the point where it made the shortest shadow, Sheah led them to the edge of the woods and pointed to a small path that wound through the trees.

"See that path?" she said. "If you follow it for about ten more minutes, it will take you to where the Stonestack is located. I would stick to the fields just in case there are soldiers still looking for you."

"And you?" Jordan asked.

"I will have to backtrack a little and then travel through the woods to the place where I will meet with some of my clan members. They will take us to the village."

"Will you be okay?" Jordan asked.

"I know these woods very well. I got you here, didn't I?"

"I meant once you are back with your own people," Jordan said.

Sheah shrugged. "They will not harm the prophesized child and they will grant some leniency to the one who delivers him to them. I wouldn't worry about my fate. He is safe. That is most important."

Brandon felt his anger towards her thaw a little bit more at those words. At least they both had Ezekial's best interests at heart. That was something. "Can I-" Brandon gestured towards Ezekial. "Just to say goodbye?"

Sheah unwrapped Ezekial from his sling and gave him to Brandon. Brandon cradled him up against his body, glancing down at the tiny face as eyes opened and stared at him.

"Hey there," Brandon said. "I don't know if you'll even remember me or any of this. But my name is Brandon and I am a friend of your mother's. And I know that you are destined for great things. And so did your mom. The only difference is that I only knew these things about you after you were born. And she knew it before. She loved you. Even before you took your first breath in this world, she loved you. She could have killed you, could have given you up, but she didn't. She gave up everything she had, to make sure you were safe. She gave up her life. And there is no finer sacrifice for a mother to make than to give up her life for her child."

Brandon bent to press a kiss against Ezekial's forehead. "And you are totally worth it. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you aren't."

Giving Ezekial back over to Sheah was harder than he thought it would be. He met her eyes squarely. "His mother loved him. So did his father. He needs to know that."

"He will have no doubts. I promise you that," Sheah said.

Brandon briefly thought about the request that floated across his mind. It would be so easy and it might have eased the ache in his heart for a brief moment, but he kept quiet and let her disappear into the trees. He had seen Leia's fake face too often for his liking.

***

He and Jordan walked the remainder of the path in silence, holding hands. When they reached the edge of the forest, they both stopped.

Brandon could see the long field stretching out in front of them, the Stonestack towering up above the foliage in the distance. Just seeing it caused his back to start aching in sympathy. If he strained his eyes, he could see the small dwelling of Torran, where Anailde and her neighbors lived.

The cats- Brandon started nervously.

Sumna and Jassa said that they shouldn't bother us as long as we are the only ones out in the field. Remember?

How did Keith get people through here? Leia and Ralph and Rajar?

He created the Chimney and the hooping cats. I'm sure he wrote a nice little loophole in there that allows him to bring whoever he wants to into and out of the fields unmolested. A nice little insurance policy to make sure he is the only one who controls who can go in and out of this place.

Except for Creators and Enablers.

Except for us. Jordan turned and kissed him, their last kiss in Charion, with the breeze rustling the long stalks of grass and bringing the fresh green smell into their faces. Brandon felt like he might miss that.

They slipped into the field.

* * *

None of Jordan's reassurances or his own reasoning could calm Brandon as he walked through the stalks. He could still remember, vividly, the sight of those flat, yellow eyes and that high whooping call. After a while, he felt that same sensation he felt the first time he had walked through the field, that sensation that seemed to lead him to where he needed to go.

Feel that? Jordan asked.

Yeah.

It's a sign, Jordan told him. It means we are supposed to be here. It is showing us the way home.

Brandon had just started to relax marginally when he heard a shift in the grass behind him and froze. Turning slowly, he glanced over his shoulder and saw a hooping cat staring at him from a slender break in between two blades of grass.

Don't run. He heard Jordan command him, but Jordan needn't have worried about that. Brandon couldn't have moved if his life depended on it--even if at that point it very well might. His muscles felt like they had turned to stone. The cat watched him for a moment more, then turned away indifferently, moving through the grass gracefully and quietly.

Brandon? He heard Jordan approach. I'm right next to you. I'm going to touch your elbow okay?

He felt Jordan's warm hand close around the crook of his arm and he sagged against the other man, closing his eyes briefly. I'm going to have a million gray hairs by the time I graduate high school.

Jordan startled him by laughing --quietly but out loud. "I'm glad to see your sense of vanity hasn't abandoned you completely." He pulled on Brandon's arm. "Come on."

They reached the Stonestack without further incident, finding the small niche on the outside that lead inside the fireplace at the In Between. Brandon looked around, marveling at how different it was since the last time he had stood here, how much he had changed. How they had both changed.

They shed their cloaks, folding them and leaving them in the room, along with anything else they picked up that was from Charion. Brandon carefully replicated the design on the necklace that Maikeeli had given him in his sketchbook before reluctantly folding it into the cloak. He knew that bringing things over from another world, even inanimate objects, wasn't a good idea, but leaving that token behind was hard.

Jordan flipped through the sketchpad to a page in the back. There were only two left.

"Do the best you can, baby," Jordan said. "Getting over here was the hard part. Going back will be easy, especially with this bond, but we still need a reference point."

Brandon pulled the sketchpad over and glanced at Jordan. "Do you have a preference?"

Jordan shook his head. "Just a place that isn't likely to be dramatically changed during the time we were gone."

Brandon chose the place he most wanted to be, which was his front yard. He drew every detail his mind could conjure, right down to the pecan tree, his father's truck and his sister's trampoline. When he was satisfied, he sat back and looked at Jordan.

Jordan gave him a small smile. "Are you ready? It's going to feel a lot like it did coming over."

Brandon nodded, hitching his knapsack up on his back. Jordan knelt next to him, one arm wrapped tight around him, the other on the paper. Brandon pressed his hand down over Jordan's.

"Okay, baby. Just like before. Picture what you just drew in your mind. Make it as real and concrete as possible."

Brandon did and felt it lock in his mind like it did before. Then he felt Jordan's mind finding the image, locking into it as well, so that they were sharing it, the same image reflected in both minds.

Take a deep breath...

Brandon inhaled....

...and let it out...

* * *

Unlike last time, Brandon didn't remember the process of coming back from the In Between to his own world. All he could remember was the impact of it, the sudden rush of stimulation provided as he was jolted back into a world of too loud sounds, too bright lights and too rich smells. He gasped, the air feeling sticky and unnatural in his lungs, his body plastered against cold cement, and the weight of his lover on top of him. His ears were battered by modern sounds, the slish of car tires on wet asphalt, the pounding bass of someone's car stereo and the low hum of a plane cruising overhead. Even the gentle plip plop of raindrops into puddles of water seemed endlessly and hopelessly loud. He relished the feeling of them, though, damping his hair and his clothes, beading against skin. He was home. He was home and not in the Void, and God, he was home.

He rolled over onto his side and checked on Jordan, who was pale, but not as pale as he had been in the In Between, and he remembered with a rush of anxiety, the Void sickness, and how ill Jordan had been. With a building sense of panic, he realized that modern doctors wouldn't know the cause or cure. But then Jordan opened his eyes and smiled at him.

There was the sound of a door opening and a woman's voice he recognized as "Mom" that was halfway between a gasp and a scream. And he knew that everything after that would be explanations and promises and reassurances and probably some punishments, but he knew he could handle that. Could handle whatever life had in store for him from this moment on. And he would deal with it, all of it, in just a little bit, in just a few seconds.

Because right now, his lover was staring at him and smiling and that was all Brandon needed. That beautiful smile.