Sparkling Combustion - 16. Chapter 16

Sparkling combustion
Chapter 16
I apologize for any errors, I don’t have an editor.

It was just another typical house party hosted by a teen whose parents were unaware and probably characteristically out of town or out somewhere. Music, alcohol, dancing, loud drunken people, people making out was the norm. Most of the house was filled as was the backyard. The neighbours weren’t surprised nor bothered since the house was particularly known for hosting loud parties and no one bothered complaining anymore, they simply acted oblivious to it whether they were or they weren’t.

Why was I there? That is not a very long story actually. Laura had been feeling stressed out and under the weather lately along with the added trauma of feelings for a seemingly straight girl (who was discovered to be bi-sexual after), and she wanted to let loose and relax a bit. Typically for Laura that meant partying and booze which would for sure loosen her up. Of course I was the only person nice enough earlier that day to agree to her plans for the evening. Jeremy had said he may or may not show up. Therefore, Friday night and a bored and stressed out Laura meant alcohol and dragging me to some party.

This time I wasn’t unhappy to oblige as I usually would be. I felt like I myself could use some relaxing and booze would for sure do the trick. Since the previous day’s talk with Nathan, I’d done my best to keep Ryan out of my thoughts but I began feeling like some lovesick girl from a chick flick. I was just hiding from my feelings and what good was that doing?

I was going to stop trying to block my thoughts and feelings. It didn’t matter anymore; it wasn’t like hiding had given me any relief or explanation as to why my feelings for that stupid Ryan Melbourne only strengthened. Or why I felt anything at all for him. Even if it hurt, was stupid, and wrong why hide from it?

And so, in my somewhat drunkenness, I simply let go.

Music sounded in my ears and it was loud and blaring. The smell of alcohol, sweat, and cigarettes reached my nose. Io reached out to the side and felt my hand bump against a person. It seemed as if time had slowed down for a minute. I blinked and everything was back to normal again.

“Kyle, you okay?” Laura said, laughing as she suddenly came up In front of me, twirling and dancing.

“No,” I answered, looking at her as if I’d never seen her before. “No.”

“Wha-aat?” She giggled and pressed up close to me, rubbing her cheek into my neck.

I laughed somewhat, “Nothing , Laura, Nothing.”

Laura beamed and held my hand dragging me against her body as we danced close together, despite being far from where everyone was dancing on a makeshift dance floor. “Great!” She exclaimed. “Kyle, breath, live, and drink up!” She giggled.

“Live!” I laughed and pressed her closer.

“I’m happy , Kyle, happy for you-u-u-u.” She was drunk as hell.

Time passed, Laura drank more and got even more drunk and eventually I lost her somewhere. Despite the somewhat drunkenness I wasn’t the type to just welcome the heat and sweaty bodies inside the house so typically I headed out for a breather and thought about wasting the rest of the night away there. Even though I wasn’t sober I just wasn’t in the mood to be loud and crazy at the moment.

I found a tree in the backyard and leaned against the back side of it where no one could see me. I sat so one knee was up and the other leg stretched out before me, with my back against the cool bark of the tree.

I could still hear the music, voices, and laughter coming in from the inside of the house. The backyard was quite large and had three big trees in it with huge branches. It caused a darker shadow to encompass the backyard so you couldn’t see much unless you had extraordinary eyesight. There was a small deck directly out the backdoor and most people stayed either on or around it.

The night was cool but I felt hot from the inside out. As I gazed up into the full moon I felt a lack of restfulness inside of me, and I took one last swig from my cup and let it drop on to the ground beside me.

I felt the presence before I heard the footsteps and immediately I looked at the moon as if it had something do with it. Grass swished between even footsteps and I closed my eyes once more, a bitter taste in my mouth as I argued whether to laugh or scream at my luck.

I spoke first, when I felt the presence ahead of me, surveying me. “You seem to like finding me all by myself don’t you?”

There was no response and I let it be that way. I didn’t want to open my eyes and face him—no that’s lying—I wanted to but I wouldn’t. What I wanted was to look him dead in the eye and demand something from him. Anything, something; anything he’d give me and that was pathetic. I was pathetic but that was the truth of it. I was far too deep in something god knows I shouldn’t have been, but it didn’t really matter because that was in all honesty all there was to it. I wanted him to give me anything, something, a smile, a sentence, a kiss, a frown, a hug, a fuck, affection, just about anything. I was as pathetic as pathetic got.

I didn’t want his constant need for demeaning me or making fun of me. It was really juvenile and I was tired of ignoring him and his banter and acting as if it didn’t affect me whatsoever. Which it really didn’t, but it did get annoying.

Still he didn’t speak; Still I sat there with my eyes closed and my face held up to the moon like I was offering myself up for some pagan ritual of self sacrifice, which I suppose I was doing in reality.

When I spoke, I was smiling. “I don’t need to open my eyes to know it’s you standing there. Let’s get used to my damned fortune or misfortune—whatever you wanna’ call it—of having you find me all by my lonesome self all the time.” I laughed, and then my eyes shot open. I was looking up at the sky; I could only see some stars because of the blockade by city lights. I faced him and he stood there with his back against another tree surveying me with an odd look on his face. He looked as if he wanted to say something but I suppose me actually speaking to him this once had taken him slightly aback and he didn’t know how to proceed. Really, the guy was beyond juvenile. Then again, I was the most pathetic—since I was self-proclaimed—of all the pathetic people on earth probably, so who was I to talk?

I shook my head and glanced down at the grass and then back up at him, “Ryan, do you enjoy annoying me? Not that I’m annoyed right now but really?” I spoke as if there hadn’t been tension between us, as if I wasn’t upset at him and truthfully I wasn’t anymore. I was tired of the childish way in which our dealings had resorted to.

His face didn’t change, but when he spoke his voice was hard despite the subtle shift of softness in his eyes. “Of course, Kyle, fucking with you makes my day.” He seemed weary and tired almost.

“What no names, rude behavior or childishness tonight?”

He turned to look at me sharply and I realized he’d gone to staring at the patch of tree bark above my head a minute ago. He shrugged, “Guess not, I’m tired.”

“Fair enough.”

“What is it about me?” I smirked.

His eyes narrowed. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

I let my gaze travel over his body, “You tell me?”

His eyes glinted angrily; I knew I’d touched a nerve. Jeez, he was predictable. “You’re fucking delusional,” he said quietly.

“What do you mean? What did I say? Am I implying something?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Kyle…” He said warningly.

“No really, I’m curious and I’m drunk enough to be stupid. What is it about me that grabs your attention so much?”

“What the fuck?”

“Honestly, stop deluding yourself. You know this past little while, ever since the so-called lame fights between you and me, I’ve thought you hated my guts-.”

“Fucking got that right.”

I ignored him and went on as if he hadn’t spoken. “Well I’ve really been deluding myself and acting like some lovesick melodramatic drama queen, I don’t care if that doesn’t even make sense. I mean, really. It’s the oldest trick in the book. If you really wanted me to think you didn’t care about me or that you really were the asshole you pretend to be, you wouldn’t have given me another glance. Ha-ha, but there you are, bullying me childishly and telling yourself you hate my guts. I’ve been stupid.”

Both of us were standing now, and I walked towards him slowly. “You see,” I said silkily, stopping before him and backing him into the tree, “You do care.” His eyes were wide and shocked, the surprise clearly etched across his features. I hadn’t given him time to school his features or think of a response, or put up that steely wall he liked to hide behind and delude himself on a daily basis.

I leaned up and closer to his face; the darkness of the trees bathed us in shadows. I could actually hear his heart beating erratically and I placed one hand on his chest, which he tried to shrug off but failed to do so because of his continued shock at my actions. “You care so much that you hate it, and you tell yourself you hate me for it. It’s so childish though,” I rubbed my cheek against his, “really, Ryan, if you wanted my attention so bad, you could have just asked. You see, you’re so sexy,I wouldn’t have been able to help myself.”

“Kyle…” Ryan’s eyes were so wide, and he looked like he would be shocked for life.

“Shh,” I nibbled on his ear, and he let out a low moan. His hands went to my hips involuntarily, at first pushing me away, but then gripping to bring closer. “I know, baby” I said softly, “you missed this,” I nipped gently at his pulse. He was like a child being indulged with his favourite treat. “You really didn’t have to deny yourself. Come on, I may have been pathetically challenged by my lack of brain use, but you should have known better,” I murmured. “Gay or not, you fucking want me.”

Ryan’s response was a tightening on the hands at my hips. I laughed softly. “See, don’t you feel better already. All that frustration,” I nibbled gently, “All that useless anger,” I licked his lips, “such a waste,” and went in for the kill. His hands immediately tried to pull me as close to his body as possible.

“Want you…” He gasped between kisses.

“I know, Ryan.” I chuckled. “Predictable.”

His hands immediately went to my shirt and he dragged it up, flipping me so it was me against the tree. I happily let him carry on his quest to dragging my shirt up past my nipples. The sight of them seemed to make him groan and licked one dusky point. “Fuck, no one’s nipples should be that sexy.”

“Yeah?” I laughed. “Why don’t you shut up and fucking get on with it.” He wasn’t going to get kind treatment from me.

Ryan did just that. The minutes went by and he licked, sucked, and bit my nipples till they were red and painful. I had to drag his head away from them and down to my crotch.

Ryan looked up from his position, where his face was level with my drooling cock. “What makes you think I’m going to suck this thing?”

“Oh you are,” I said silkily, “you see, you’re just as pathetic and stupid and easy as I am,” and reached out to fist my hands through his hair. I had a moment to witness his shock before I dragged his mouth to my cock and sheathed it in his warm and wet mouth. He didn’t complain one bit and sucked on it almost eagerly, looking up with those big eyes of his the entire time, till I was moaning quietly. It wasn’t long before I came in his mouth and he swallowed every drop, very uncharacteristically.

“See now you’ll get lucky because I want to get fucked,” I told him, “and you can’t lie and say you haven’t missed my ass because we both know better.”

From that point on, I can’t remember many details except having my pants pushed down to my ankles, my ass cheeks spread, and Ryan’s cock driving deep into me. It was so good that even clutching on to the huge tree, I had trouble balancing myself. Ryan held on to me and fucked me hard, telling me nasty things in my ear, considering the nasty people we were. I moaned around him and begged him to fuck me harder, faster,harder, harder,anything, just begged him for more and he complied all too well. It was too easy to get lost in the feeling and forget who teaching who a lesson and it just became a frenzy of bodies slapping together in the darkness, in clandestine.

I came again while fucked me, hot for him that I was it didn’t surprise me. Afterwards, we stood still for a few moments, both breathing hard. His lips were buried in my neck and I had a hand on hand on his stomach. He didn’t speak, didn’t move, and just stood there with his lips against me like a dark and patient god. But gods didn’t do the nasty; gods weren’t played and abused like I had abused him. After all, Ryan Melbourne was only a man and men made mistakes. Men were stupid. Men bled, were made to bleed.

I didn’t feel remorseful at all when I spoke. “You should really stop deluding yourself Ryan,” purred.

And then I walked away.

Jeremy asked me why I had such a big smile on my face later, I chuckled and said simply, “I’m fucking stupid, that’s why.”

He only grinned, “I could have told you that…”

“Oh and I’m a fucking asshole-.”

“That too.”

“-and I could care less.”

“I shouldn’t encourage you…”

We both laughed and it was okay for a while.

~*~
The next day during lunch, Ryan found me sitting outside by myself for a change. I just grinned widely at him. “So soon?”

“Shut up.”

“Ha-ha, it almost feels like the old times doesn’t it? You pretending you don’t want me, yada yada. Such good times…”

“Honestly Ryan-.”

“What, Ryan I almost miss your bullying! What happened? Stopped deluding yourself?”

“Fuck you, it was just one word.”

“Well I think we’ve sorted out who’s deluded about what. I deluded myself into thinking you hated me, didn’t want me, and bullied me to put me down. Where as you deluded yourself into thinking you hated me, didn’t want me, and bullied me out of hatred,” I smacked my head, “well would you look at that? We happened to be deluded about the same things! Funny thing is I’m quite clear now. How about you?”

“You are delusional.”

“Wow Ryan, well I see…hmm…I guess you need an excuse to want my body. What did you tell yourself it was because of last night? Drunkenness, hysteria?”

“Kyle…” He said warningly.

“Shut up, I’m fucking with you, Ryan. Truth hurts? I’ll give you an excuse,” I told him, “pathetic little boy that you’re acting like…what shall it be?” I’d thought this through minimally and had come to the same conclusion. Fuck Ryan, I was going to get my revenge, and get fucked while I was at it. “You probably don’t even know that you came here half hoping I’d make you fuck me again.”

I stood. “Come over after school,” I told him. “Actually, come find me by my locker and you can drive me home.”

He moved dangerously close to me really fast. “Fuck off, Kyle. Are you crazy?”

I brushed him off and said over my shoulder, “Who says I won’t just let your dirty little secret be known if I feel like it?”

I heard laughter as I walked away, “You’ve gotta be kidding me…”

But I wasn’t, I had woken up from my pathetic trance. When I went back inside, I collided with Nathan and I knew from his overly easy smile he knew exactly where I’d just been. I felt a little guilty inside but I squashed it immediately. After all selfish human being that I was, I lived to make excuses for myself, and justified the right to make them by saying I was only human. As if that was an epidemic that allowed me immoral behavior and a justification to my absurdness.

We were at ease with each other but it was frustrating sometimes. I felt my face burn slightly. “Hey.”

He smiled, “What’s up?” And we walked together slowly up to class.

“Nothing…you know…”

“I suppose “nothing” is outside?” He smirked.

“Nathan-.”

“Pshh…” He waved a hand, “You’re predictable, the both of you. You’re so fucking terrible for each other, you might just be perfect.” He laughed.

I managed a wan smile, god sometimes Nathan surprised me. He wasn’t exactly a sensitive person really…maybe love really did change people. “Anyway…” I trailed off and my lousy way of changing the subject died.

“Honestly, Kyle I’m not a fragile china doll. Something’s changed hasn’t it?” He seemed genuinely curious and not as if he was acting out of jealousy.

I pretended to think it over, “Well…I guess…” Then I smirked, “I guess you could say he’s getting a taste of his own medicine.”

Nathan seemed surprised too, “W-what?”

“You heard me.”

Then Nathan sniggered and I was immediately offended. He looked at me apologetically, “Sorry, it’s just this whole stuff with has had you down lately. I don’t think even you noticed the effect it’s had on you. You’ve been kind of pathetic really. Then again, who am I to talk?” He winked. We stood outside the classroom waiting, and as there was a considerable amount of time left for the bell to ring, we were solitary for the most part.

I grimaced, “Well, this “thing” and what you…feel…can hardly be counted in the same boat at all you know.”

“It can’t?” He raised an eyebrow.

I was indignant. “No!”

Nathan laughed, “Kyle you’re hopeless!”

Later, in class when all had settled down and even Ryan had walked inside—pointedly refusing to meet my eyes—I tried to convince him. “It doesn’t even come close to being similar!” But Nathan only laughed at me and I scowled and glowered all throughout the rest of the day.

Laura made sure to find me and remind me of a fact I’d conveniently and selfishly taken for granted. “You know, he’s really strong, but I know he’s not over you. How could he be? He really does love you.”

I felt ashamed. “I haven’t forgotten…”

“Honestly, boys…” She went on a rant. “You could be a bit sensitive you know…”

“What do I do? We’re still friends, Laura and I don’t think he wants me to like back off and leave him alone and stuff.”

“How can he get over you when you’re still close and when he’s being subjected to your presence on a daily basis?” She demanded.

“So…er…I’m supposed to, that’s to say you think I should avoid him?” I asked dubiously.

“Kyle,” she said in a singsong voice, “I love you, stupid, but just be more sensitive that’s all. I’m not saying avoid him, otherwise your friendship may suffer, but I’m just saying be more conscious of his feelings and don’t…you know…throw things in his face…” She trailed off suspiciously.

I narrowed my eyes, “What do you mean?”

Laura rolled her gorgeous eyes, “Come on Kyle, what do you take me for? I’m hardly a child and I’ve known you for a long time. You think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been sulking for weeks and weeks on end? I mean it’s fairly obvious to me and I haven’t missed those glances and the exchanges between you and Ryan.”

I gaped. “B-but, but…” I sputtered.

“Close your mouth, you look creepy.” I complied. “Anyway, I’ve not said anything because…well…you seemed so adamant about keeping it secret or whatever…I don’t even know. Just next time…try talking to us for a change. We are your friends you know…” She blew hair off her face. It was tough to get a word in when Laura went on one of her tirades like this. “Josh has been so out of it lately. You know him…and you hardly tell him anything anymore. He’s so busy with work and his girlfriend and friends all the time, and yet I get it with guys you know…but still you could come to me!”

“W-well…I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it.” She huffed, pouting.

“I know, I know, I was just going through a pathetic /hurt/lost boy phase.” I said jokingly and managed to coax a small smile from her.

“And that phase is over it would seem…” She murmured.

“Um…” I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Oh puh-lease,” Again the eye-roll, “firstly, I’m a girl and you know our gender is quite intuitive, and secondly—must I repeat myself—I’ve known you far too long so I can tell when you’re smirking to yourself and an immediate change comes over you.”

I gaped again. I really shouldn’t under-estimate my friends…It seemed like I was the stupid and ignorant one in this picture…

“Kyle, freaking close your mouth,” Laura ordered once again, “how many times have I told you, you look creepy when you zone off and leave your mouth hanging like that. Your eyes do this weird thing…”

“Hey,” I said, hurt, “it’s just my face, okay.”

Laura scowled, but when I proceeded to look hurt, she finally smiled at me serenely and grabbed my arm. The change was so stunning, I stared at her a moment. “Let’s do something today, just the three of us! It’s been too long…” Her face lit up. “Let’s find Josh.”

I looked at my watch. “Actually…” But then I saw the look on her face. “What?” She asked me. “Well…” I trailed off.

“You had something planned?” She seemed crestfallen.

“Um…” I blushed to my horror, I didn’t blush easily!

“Oh my god! No way, you are so doing something with...him aren’t you?” She gasped. When I refused to meet her eyes she gasped again, “You are!”

“Laura,” I hissed, “It’s nothing really…” I was mortified. “I-um-I’ll tell him he can just go home when he comes.”

“No, don’t do that, he can come!”

“What? No way...”

But I didn’t have the chance to explain to Laura why this would be such a terrible idea, or rather make an excuse up. I certainly was not going to explain exactly what I had in mind of doing with Ryan. Buddy or not…that would be difficult to explain. It had been ages since the bell had rang and finally Ryan appeared. I suppose he had thought to make me wait for him as a way of punishment for him being forced to come find me.

“Ryan!” Laura beamed, and despite the fact that Ryan was probably aware of Laura’s secret romance with Ashlynn, he smiled at her, apparently uncaring about the latter fact. I reminded myself to ask Laura how things with Ashlynn were coming along, though by her appearance and the times I’d briefly seen them together, they seemed to be making it work. Laura didn’t give anyone a moment to speak but carried on, “I understand you and Kyle are friends again! Really what happened before was so stupid…” she frowned but then smiled serenely again, glowing, “I’m so glad things seem to be okay.”

Apparently her super intuitive female skills of reading situations and actions was malfunctioning at the moment because anyone who took a look at the situation would warrant that nothing friendly was happening between Ryan and I. Ryan seemed to act as if I was something of a bug on the sole of his shoe and gave me one disparaging look. I looked at my nails, seemingly unconcerned and cool. No greetings were exchanged.

“Anyway,” Laura went on, oblivious, “I know you guys have plans--.”

“Plans?” Ryan smirked, “I see, we have plans Kyle, don’t we? I’m so glad we’re such good friends again.”

Fuck you, asshole. “Yeah I know, you must be thrilled,” I looked at Laura, and faked laughter, “You see, Ryan here usually keeps all his excitement inside and I know he seems all cool and stuff but inside he’s so thrilled. I mean, he told me he missed my company and stuff…but he’s shy about it.”

Laura laughed, “How sweet…you guys are so…” She broke off at the look Ryan was giving me for a moment as Laura spoke. It was replaced by a smirk quickly.

“Kyle?” Laura looked at me, questioning me silently.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing, I guess. Anyway I was saying…I really feel like going out and I know you have plans so why don’t we make it the four of us, if Josh can come?” Both of us looked at Ryan, who didn’t look like he would be replying anytime soon.

I rushed in quickly, “It’s fine, Ryan doesn’t have to come. I’m sure he has other things to do, right Ryan?”

“No, no…I have nothing better to do now. I mean I had plans with Kyle but that seems to be over so I might as well come along. I’m just so fucking disappointed.” He said.

I don’t think the sarcasm was lost on Laura this time, who seemed to open her mouth as if she wanted to say something, and then thought better of it. “Well, shall we?” She said instead, her lips curving once more.

Twenty minutes later all of us were sitting inside a nearby café, Laura sipping a cup of finely made coffee and nibbling on a croissant, Josh was also drinking coffee and poking at a huge waffle with ice-cream, and chocolate and strawberry sauce on top, Ryan simply sat in silence and sipped at a cup as well. I sat with my face turned away from Ryan, who was seated opposite me, and was turned towards Laura. She was chatting animatedly to us about something she’d seen in a documentary a few days ago. This scene was so bizarre, I almost felt like getting away from it. Whereas yesterday I wouldn’t have been caught dead near Ryan Melbourne, I was now sitting across from him in a café while contemplating blackmail. How things changed…

Josh was looking good, and smiling in that jovial way of his that was so familiar to me. He grinned at me conspiratorially and I knew he was also wondering when Laura would let anyone get a word in. In the end he mouthed, “Let’s do it,” to me and I reached out to hold Laura while he placed a hand over her mouth from across the table. It was a tactic we’d been forced to uphold many times in the past. It brought back funny memories of long summer evenings just wandering around, joking, laughing, and being stupid.

When we backed off, Laura huffed, “What the—I hate you guys…” and gave the both of us dark looks. “See, Ryan…they’re so mean to me.”

Josh guffawed, “Laura, if you let someone get one word in we won’t be forced to use Operation Shut-Laura up anymore.”

Ryan had to agree with us, “Laura…you could have just you know…” he trailed off at the dark look Laura directed at him.

When we were all done eating and drinking, a decision was made to go to Josh’s house. I said I had some work to do and Ryan made some excuse about having to talk to his mother—which was highly unlikely seeing as Ryan disliked his mother very much. Josh turned to me and made a mock puppy-dog face, pleading, “Come on, Kyle. We haven’t really officially hung out in ages! I miss my bestest, yes bestest,” He clarified, seeing Laura open her mouth as if to correct him, “buddy. Laura here isn’t a human being so she doesn’t count.”

“Kyle!” She complained, “You see, he still does that. He promised he’d stopped. For god’s sake, we’re mature enough not to bully…well me!”

“First off, you’re selfish, are you trying to imply that I can bully Ryan and Kyle and they can bully me and each other but we’re all supposedly mature enough not to bully you?” Josh asked in mock horror. Ryan and I burst into laughter.

“Kyle-.”

“Nuh-uh, see here, that’s not fair. I think we’re all mature enough to bully everyone…and while we’re at it, you’re mature enough not to be affected by the childish jokes of someone as juvenile and unworthy of your attention and anger as me,” Josh added arrogantly. Laura’s response was loud unintelligible cursing and almost pulling her hair out, while she practically ran to the car and slammed the door shot. The three of us remained standing aloof near the car.

“Fuck, Josh, you’re an asshole.”

Josh stretched loudly and wide. “Tell me something I haven’t heard.”

Ryan had gone temporarily mute and Josh had noticed. “What’s up with you, man?”

“What-oh…nothing.” Ryan looked away.

Josh looked at me suspiciously. “So…you and Kyle are friends again huh?” Neither one of us had missed the emphasis on the word friends, and we both turned to look at him.

Ryan spoke first. “Yeah, Kyle’s my bestest buddy ever…” And he too sat in the car, albeit with more dignity than Laura had.

“You and I need to have a little chat, Kyle. I’ve been neglecting my friend far too long. It seems like you can’t even cope for two miserable minutes without causing some form of problem.” Josh said evenly.

“Hey! What the hell?”

“We’ll talk about it back at my place.”

The short drive to Josh’s house was silent except for the radio and the occasional words Josh fired at everyone rather cheerfully. It was a pretty funny situation if I may so, what with Laura and Ryan both basically unwilling participants. They seemed to have collaborated only as hurt souls can do and when in Josh’s house; they both turned on the TV to a channel playing some old movie and watched with immense enthusiasm. Josh’s parents were out till late so Josh made himself a sandwich, claiming hunger once again. I felt hungry too so I accepted one, more like demanded one, and we ate them there in the kitchen. I sat on the counter and he leant against the wall.

“Wonder if they’re talking in there,” He mentioned casually.

“Yeah, they’re probably coming up with some plan to kill the both of us. What with Laura upset with you and Ryan practically…” I trailed off as I realized my mistake.

“Aha!” Josh shouted rather melodramatically.

I rolled my eyes. “I think that was pretty obvious anyway…”

“What the hell, Kyle? I mean I’m not one to preach, but what the hell are you thinking and what’s going on? We don’t hang out for a while and you start being stupid?”

“What’s stupid?”

“I can see Ryan and you are not on good terms, so what’s going on? Are you fucking him?” He said it so casually; I almost spit my food out. “I should have known…”

“Josh…”

“Tell me what’s going on.” He ordered.

“Well…” I sighed. “He blackmailed me before into…you know…”

“Fucking him, yeah. And?”

“Well I hated him but then, well, he was okay I guess. Okay fine, I started liking him, yada yada. We were friendly. Then he found out I’d told people what happened between us and you know with him being supposedly straight and all, he couldn’t have that and he blew up at me. Things went fucking haywire from then, I was a bitch and he was an asshole.”

“Spare me the details.”

I was cold. “Believe me I am.”

“Go on.”

“Let’s just say that I’m planning on taking advantage of the fact that I have some leverage over him, maybe for payback, maybe just because I can.” I shrugged indifferently.

For a moment I thought he was upset by this but then he broke out into a grin. “Awesome.”

“What?”

“I said, awesome,” he reached into the refrigerator and came up with a bottle of orange juice, which he proceeded to drink from straight from the bottle itself. He gulped it down, “Ryan needs some shaking up, I’d say, and frankly he’s been way too fucking angry and upset with you not to care—yeah I noticed, alright. A guy doesn’t waste his time bullying some shithead he claims on hating so much and not caring about. Also I say go for it because…just because I’m an asshole.”

I imagined what Laura would say both to what I’d begun and was planning on doing, and then Josh’s immoral encouragement. Suddenly I was glad she was angry and far away in the living room watching a movie.

“You fuck him yet?”

I grinned; sometimes I was surprised at Josh’s open nature and his ability to be comfortable with sexuality.

“Shoulda known…” He rolled his eyes. “Enough of this shit; let’s go mess with those jerks.” I didn’t point out that he was the jerk and just followed him into the living room.

The rest of the evening went by smoothly, despite Laura huffing at Josh in a cold way occasionally. It seemed Ryan and her had developed some sort of league of upset friends and I saw them laughing and talking together while Josh and I watched them with raised eyebrows. Laura looked at us innocently, although I could have sworn she gave me a smug look.

By the end of the evening, Josh had thoroughly worn me out with demanding questions but I still loved him for it. He claimed he’d broken up with (Maddy, Mary?) his girlfriend and admitted that his parents were making him quit work because his grades were falling.

“That means, my dear Laura that I can bully your pretty hair to oblivion and back all the time like normal now!” Laura groaned and hid behind Ryan, Ryan! Those two being friends…I didn’t like the sounds of that very much. Josh laughed though and pulled her into a hug of sorts. “I’m just messing with you, sheesh don’t be so sensitive. I was testing you; see you’re going to be murdered in college…” When Laura made to pull away again, he laughed again, “Okay, okay fine. I apologize and I know I’m being a complete and total asshole. You are a goddess, Laura, and I shall pray to you tonight,” He bowed to her and unwillingly made Laura laugh.

“Fine you’re forgiven, with penalties. You have to be nice to me for at least a month.”

Josh looked at her in mock horror, “A month!”

“Yep,” she looked smug, “Oh and, and, and you have to buy me lunch next day.”

We were then ceremoniously dropped off at home. When we came to my house, Ryan got out of the car too and said he needed some “help” with something and that I could drop him off later. My parents were home and greeted Ryan happily. He chatted with them a few minutes before we left and headed for my room. It was neither messy nor clean but just untidy with a few things strewn about the room. The rest of the house was shiny and spotless as a result of my mother’s constant upkeep.Ryan simply sat in my chair while I fell into my bed and looked at the ceiling.

“Blab,” I told him.

“Okay,” was his answer. “I won’t bother easing into it. I’ll ask you: Kyle are you really going to do this?”

“Do what?” I asked.

“Oh, come on…”

I couldn’t see him, but I imagined he’d rolled his eyes. “Yes I am. What is it?”

“Well, I know you’re not a total asshole so just reconsider it. Why bother having to put up with me anyway?” He said casually

“Oh wow! I’m not a complete asshole now? That’s definitely a step-up. Funny, I find people are much nicer to you when you have the upper hand. What do you think, Ryan?” I asked silkily.

“Kyle…listen, can’t we just forget about…well…everything?”

I sat up now and threw my shirt of casually. “Forget?” I asked and moved to the edge of the bed, “About,” I sat down comfortably, “Everything?”

“Well...yeah. I’ll admit I’ve been a total jerk.”

“No need to admit anything, it’s fairly obvious anyway.”

He pretended not to hear me. “I’m just saying that I’ll leave you alone and won’t give you shit anymore and you don’t have to…do this…”

I smiled. “Ryan, I’m not doing this because I want you to stop antagonizing me. I mean, we both know that won’t happen anymore since the deluding has stopped. If you bullied me now, you’d look like a total douche and I’d be forced to think you’re in love with me or something.”

“Wh-what? You’re not?”

“Nope,” I walked over to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. I rubbed unconsciously, “You see, this is purely selfish of me. I just want…” I ran my gaze down his t-shirt clad body and jean encased legs; I licked my lips elaborately. “Yeah, that’s what I want,” I rubbed a pectoral appreciatively. It seemed Ryan had no idea what to say to this and was gazing at me again all wide eyed. I bent down and unzipped his jeans, but did not slide my hand in. Instead I slid his orange tee up past his belly button and smoothed a hand down the silky, hard flesh. Ryan sucked in a breath.

“Wanna know where I got the idea to take what I want?” I asked casually, gazing longingly at his stomach like I wanted to eat it. He didn’t answer, “From you actually, aren’t I just a sweetheart? How does it feel to be on the receiving end,” My eyes widened, “Oh…I see you like it.” I ran a hand across his erection, then took it out of its encasement and stared up into Ryan’s flushed face and dark hungry eyes. “So you see,” I leaned down and took the head in my mouth, Ryan groaned and his hips came up off the chair, while his hands rushed to my hair, fisting them through it and tugging my head down on it. “I’ll confess it wasn’t entirely selfish, but mostly,” I swiped a tongue down the length, “I’m not so nice you know, I want to pay you back,” deep suck, moaning, “Make you want me,” I took the whole length down, “Make you feel used,” I swirled my head around the head and he moaned appreciatively. “Make you hate me, and get a taste of your own medicine.” His hands fisting in my hair tugged and I sucked harder, not lifting now. God it got me so hot to have his cock in my mouth and his hands in my hair, having him moaning around me like a bitch in heat while he moved his hips. And I could tell it was good because he was moaning louder and tugging hard enough that it hurt. I liked the pain.

When he came, I swallowed it all and looked up at him with a cheeky grin. “Yum,” I lifted myself off the floor and threw a clean cloth at him. He didn’t speak to me after that and when I drove him home, he got out calmly, not even slamming the door after himself.

I got a few words in though, “See you tomorrow, Ryan.”

Boy did I have a lot to tell Jeremy.

~*~