Double Down - 4. Chapter 4

I woke up confused. It sounded like someone was weeping and my left hand was gripped almost painfully tight. I blinked my eyes several times, trying to get the feeling of grit out of them. When I looked to see who had a death grip on my hand I was surprised to see my brother holding me with both hands, crying hot tears. How did Ry get here? Wait, where was here? I was in a soft queen bed with a light blanket over me, pulled up snug to my shoulder as I laid on my side. The small room I was in had a large window letting in the bright sunshine, so I knew several hours had passed.

“Hey, he's awake,” a voice said from the foot of the bed. Ry looked up at me and I smiled at him before I turned my head to see Nat leaning against the blue wall not too far away.

“How did I get here? And where's here?” I asked confusedly.

“Well, after you passed out we took you to a safe house, and the Feds got a doctor to patch you up.”

I pushed the blanket down tried to sit up, wincing as I felt the skin on my back and stomach pull in several places.

“Easy there,” Nat said as he jumped to help me sit up. Ry carefully piled several pillows behind me to prop me up. “Anyhow, they were trying to figure out the safest place to stash you until Mestrick is arrested and brought to trial so I suggested a friend of mine's cabin. He never uses it this time of year and it would be next to impossible to trace by anyone who knows you or Ry.”

“Yeah, so I got dragged up here in the sticks with you two and a couple of cranky federal agents,” Ry said with a grimace.

“Oh gods, Ry, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault; you're going to miss school and what about your scholarship?” I was feeling even worse as the plan went farther from the original and ruined what bit of life my brother had managed to make for himself.

“Oh hush you! Do you really think I care about a few classes? Besides, Anna spoke to the Dean and he will allow me to make up the courses without losing my scholarship."

“Really? You're not mad at me for ruining your life?” I asked fearfully.

“Mad at you? For ruining my life? How have you done that? You cut yourself to ribbons getting away to warn the agents to protect me, so they would get me out before Mestrick's men came. You are one of the bravest people I have ever known!” Ry declared.

I sagged back against the pillows, relieved to find out that he didn't blame me for the mess that his life had become these past few days. My face, back and stomach all hurt but it was a dull throbbing ache, not the sharp pain I had experienced when I was running.

“So, how badly did I mangle myself?” I asked Nat.

“Not so good, I'm afraid. Some of your stomach cuts are shallow but you had one really deep one that needed fifteen stitches, the rest just needed butterfly bandages. Several on your back needed to be stitched as well. Your nose is broken and you got a pretty nasty cut on the bottom of your lower lip that needed two stitches as well. The doctor numbed you up and knocked you out long enough for us to get you up here and settled. He also left a bottle of vicodin for you but we can't get more for a while, so you will need to go easy.”

I nodded carefully; my head was pounding with a dull ache. “How far away from the city are we?” I needed to know how safe I was, even though I was feeling pretty secure there with Nat, especially since there were also two agents as well. I couldn't believe I was feeling secure because of Nat, or why I felt that way. I shook my head; obviously the drugs were making me loopy.

I thought back over what I could remember after I escaped. There were snatches of things half remembered. I was pretty sure that Nat caught me when I fell at the van and I seemed to remember him holding my hand at one point as I lay on a hard surface in a way too bright room. For the past few days he had been there, helping me, supporting me, trying to make me feel better. Besides, the man was a damn fine cook; if I had to be trapped with someone in the remote wilderness, who better than tasty eye candy that made me laugh and cooked better than my mother had!

“We're about two hours from the city, at the end of a very long, very deserted country road. We would be able to hear if anyone comes near the house from a long distance away. You're safe, I promise,” Nat reassured me.

Some small bit of me that had still been tense relaxed. “How long have I been out?”

“About five or six hours. The agents are pretty anxious to talk to you. Should I let them in?” Nat asked gently.

I wanted to say no, to not think about Mestrick or last night or the danger I knew we were still in, but they needed to know what I had seen and done. I seemed to remember telling them about the chip being installed but I was so groggy that I couldn't be sure. I nodded at Nat to let him know it was okay; he walked over to the door and called them in.

“Good to see you awake, Mr. Whitson. I'm Agent Faels and this Agent Sangne; we need to ask you some questions.” I eyed these new suits; they seemed younger than the last ones. They were both on the tall side, with those seemingly standard issue haircuts. One guy had hair almost black as night, the other was an ash blonde. The blonde was doing the talking while the other agent just stared at me.

“Okay, but what's with your partner there?”

Agent Faels glanced at Sangne then elbowed him hard in the side. Sangne startled a bit, blushing as he finally dropped his gaze. Faels rolled his eyes and then cleared his throat. “Can you tell us what happened in the compound last night?”

I went over everything, the usual entrance and Mestrick being so angry about the two grand I forgot to take with me. I told them about his reaction to the call, his plans to go see this 'Kaleb' and his threat toward Ry and me. Ry made a choked sound and his face paled. I guess the seriousness of the situation finally seemed to have made an impression on him. Either that or my wounds did. If that was what it took to make him have a care for his own safety, every burning cut was worth it.

“Don't worry; we'll be here protecting you guys day and night,” Agent Sangne said to all three of us, but with his eyes on me. Was it my imagination or did he put a slight emphasis on the word night? Was he flirting with me? I retreated into my typical silence, watching as the group planned the next few days we were stuck here while Nat's little bug collected enough data to hang Mestrick and every single person that worked with him. It looked like all I would have to do is sit back and wait to be called in to testify.

Nat kept glancing at me and watching Agent Sangne, who also kept glancing at me. I really didn't know what to make of it. I just wanted a few days of peace to heal and come to grips with the fact that very soon I would be free of Mestrick, free of the worries about Ry getting hurt, and free of the shame from cheating, something that went against every fiber of morality my parents had instilled in me from a very young age. I sighed, closing my eyes. I was restless and uncomfortable; I just wanted everyone to go.

Ry was busy talking about the court procedure with Agent Faels and wasn't paying attention but apparently Nat was. I felt a cool hand slide across my forehead, lingering for a moment before being gently brushed across my cheek as well.

“You feel a bit hot. I'm going to go see if we have a thermometer hiding around here somewhere. You had a bunch of rust flakes on you when we cut your clothes off so the doctor gave you a tetanus shot and a bottle of antibiotics in case you started running a fever. I'll be right back with those and some juice.” Nat ushered everyone out as he left, leaving me alone with my suddenly churning thoughts.

My mind was still locked on the phrase 'we cut your clothes off'. I lifted the blanket, looking down at myself. I hadn't even thought to check but my pants were gone too, replaced by scrub pants to match the top I had on. I guess I hadn't thought about them needing to check the rest of my body for wounds. I slid a hand under the waistband, feeling around. Oh gods, no underwear either. I dearly hoped my brother and Nat hadn't been in the room when those came off.

I was still in the throes of self-pitying humiliation, imagining Nat and Ry snickering as I lay unconscious and exposed when Nat came back in the room carrying a bed tray. He set it down on the side of the bed, then turned to help me reposition.

“The doctor said that you should have help when moving around for a day or two so you don't pull the stitches. Let's get you sitting a bit more comfortably.” Nat pulled me up then put the tray in front of me. It held an array of things. A thermometer, two pill bottles, a sandwich and two glasses of juice were all arranged carefully.

“Open up.” I opened my mouth and let Nat slide the thermometer under my tongue. He sat on the edge of the bed, waiting until it beeped before taking it from me. “Hmm, ninety-nine. Not really a fever yet, but the doctor told me to watch for any signs of one so I think you should start taking the antibiotics now. I didn't know what kind of juice you liked so I brought apple and orange.”

“Thank you, Nat. You are really going above and beyond the call of duty in your job here.”

“My job? I'm not working. I'm here because I want to help. I like you; I want you to be safe,” Nat said, sounding a bit indignant. I looked at him, really looked at him, not the private investigator, not Ry's friend, not even the attractive man that he certainly was, but at what made him who he was. I looked in his eyes and saw the complete honesty, the earnest desire to help, and something else I couldn't name.

Nat was a good guy.

Nat leaned forward, his eyes searching mine as well. I was mesmerized by his blue eyes, so it didn’t dawn on me until the last second what he was intending to do. He paused for a brief moment, just long enough for me draw in a short breath, one that hitched in my throat when I felt our lips meet in the softest kiss I had ever experienced. He brushed his mouth over mine, gently and carefully, as if I would break if he touched my lips with a touch firmer than the stroke of a feather.

He pulled back just a bit and I opened my eyes to see his face; I needed to know what he was thinking and feeling. I'm sure my expression was shocked because his eyes crinkled and he looked amused.

“What was that?” I whispered.

Nat chuckled. “A kiss, silly, surely you've been kissed before.”

I was starting to get a bit upset. “And you kissed me why? You ... You're straight!”

“I never said that. And I kissed you because I wanted to.”

“You wanted ... Never said that ... What EXACTLY are you doing? I won't be played with because you are bored up here, I mean it!” I glared at him.

“I don't want to play with you, well, I do, but not like you mean. And we've been up here for all of three hours; I've hardly had time to become bored. I've wanted to kiss you since the first time I saw you walk in the door at your apartment." He ran his finges along my scratchy jaw. "Do you have any idea how hot you are?”

“You spent two days at my apartment and you’re just telling me this now? When I'm hurt and vulnerable? Why do guys only want to be with me after bad things happen?” I was distrustful for a good reason; my experiences with Preston had made me very leery of anyone that seemed too good to be true. Nat was most certainly too good to be true not to mention the explanation required for his ex-girlfriend, Anna.

“That's not why. I just thought things were stressful enough for you and adding anything more might overwhelm you. This wasn't a job for me, Ry never paid me. It was a favor for a friend who had a brother in trouble. Once I met you, it was because I wanted to help you, because you deserve so much better than what you have been dealt in life. You gave up everything you dreamed of and put your life on the line to save your brother. You’re a very strong man and I admire you, the person you are inside and out.”

I shook my head, so confused. “Look, I just, I don't understand, why now? Why right now?”

“I wanted to tell you before, I've wanted to kiss you, but I was afraid to scare you off. You are so hard on yourself; I thought if I told you, you'd run from me. I wouldn’t have been able to help you with the chip and everything if you wouldn’t work with me.”

“I certainly can't do that right now,” I snorted. I certainly wasn’t going to be jumping out of bed, much less running anywhere.

Nat chuckled, a deep seductive sound that gave me chills. “No, but I saw the look that FBI agent was giving you. I would never forgive myself if I had let a chance to get to know you better pass me by.”

I thought about it for a minute. Things were going to be better now, and if I was living with Ry then we would be neighbors. Maybe getting to know Nat better would be okay. I would be smart, remember to not lose the 'me' in the 'we'. Everything I had seen of Nat I had liked and already he had proven himself to be nothing of the type of man that Preston had been. We had even had a spat already, instead of getting angry and hitting me he had apologized and made me dinner. Even now he was taking care of me again. I was afraid, but ...

“So, do I have to get Agent Sangne back in here to flirt with me some more to get you to kiss me again?” I asked daringly, looking at Nat coyly.

“Only if you want to see me jealous and moody.”

“Hmm, moody ... Does that come with you in tight, all black clothes with a morose, puting expression?” I asked, raising my brows and grinning wickedly.

“I can see I am going to have to keep a close eye on you,” Nat said in a mock stern voice with his arms crossed over her chest.

“I think I'd rather you kept something else close to me.” I stared at Nat's mouth, already craving another taste of those soft lips.

This time the kiss wasn't as chaste, though it was still gentle. It was as if Nat was absorbing me into him, starting at the lips. The pressure stayed oh so barely there, but I felt his tongue touch my lips, tickling lightly, begging for entrance. I opened my mouth on a sigh, welcoming him into my body as our tongues stroked and twirled slowly, the contact deep yet not choking. It was a promise of things to come, a gentle reawakening of my body to desire and arousal.

I couldn't help but touch him as we continued exploring each other’s mouth and shoulders. Nat was so gentle, carefully touching just the side of my face with his fingertips, avoiding the bruises and painful spots as he kissed and stroked me. I wasn't quite as gentle, running my hands through his hair and down his back, around and up his stomach to his firm chest, ending with my hands twined back in his hair, the silky soft strands running through my fingertips. I took control, greedy now, not realizing before how much I had missed touching another person in an intimate way. I could feel more of the scars left on my soul start to smooth over and heal as I reveled in the trust Nat showed by allowing me to take the lead.

I broke off the kiss, panting, my cock hard as a rock inside the loose scrub pants. My body ached when I stopped; I was almost overwhelmed with the urge to touch Nat and have him touch me, but I refused to rush things. I glanced at the clock, thankful that we hadn’t been disturbed. Hell, just an hour ago I had thought that he was straight. ‘Wait, an hour? Had we really been kissing that long?’ I was hot, trembling and couldn't seem to catch my breath. Nat was in a similar shape, I could hear him gasping just a little.

“You are a dangerous, dangerous man, Demarcus Whitson,” Nat said in a rueful voice, palming the considerable bulge restrained under the zipper of his jeans. He winced a little, giving me a sheepish grin. I smiled back, the tent in the sheet showcasing my similar state. His hand trembling, he stroked my cheek, skirting the bruises by my nose. Nat frowned.

“I know I don't look so good right now. I'm sorry.” I said.

“No, you look wonderful. You're one of the hottest men I've ever kissed. You just feel warmer than before. I think your fever is getting worse.”

I reached over to the tray, taking one of the antibiotics and one of the pain pills out of the orange bottles and putting them on my tongue. I grabbed the orange juice to wash it down, warm apple juice always tasted vaguely fermented to me, not something I wanted with my stomach still turning flips. Nat pressed a finger into the sandwich then lifted the top slice.

“I don't like this sandwich sitting here for so long. I'm going to go make another one. Stay here.”

“And where am I going to go? I'm your captive; doctor's orders, remember?”

“Oh, yes.” Nat leaned forward and gave me a small kiss, a gentle peck that lingered. I groaned when he stood up grinning. “Oh yes, I think I’ll find you right here waiting for me,” Nat chuckled before picking up the tray and leaving the room.

I was content waiting for a while, thinking back over the amazing change that had come over me, just from a few kisses. I was re-evaluating myself, my plans, and my life to come. Nat had reawakened desire, not only for the wonderful kisses he gave me but for more. I wanted him, I wanted school, and I wanted my family back. So many things hinged on what was going to happen with Mestrick, but I just had to have faith that everything would go to plan.

I was comfortable, lying with my head back on the pillows daydreaming ,but started to get a bit concerned when Nat had been gone more than ten minutes. “Nat,” I called. I waited but got no response from him. “Nat!” I tried again. When no one answered I tried calling for Ry and the agents. No one answered me. I got a deep sense of dread listening to the silence of the house. I swept back the blanket and carefully moved my legs to the side of the bed so that I was sitting up; trying to prepare myself for the pain I knew would come when I stood.

I groaned as I straightened; the skin and muscles in my stomach and back did not like this at all, already having taken too much abuse. I hissed at the pain when I tried to take a step; even Preston's worst beatings didn't compare to how bad I felt. I shuffled toward the door, swearing that everyone was going to get the rough side of my tongue for ignoring me and making me get up like this.

I shuffled down the unfamiliar hall, not bothering to open any of the doors. If they had been this close someone would have heard me. I was trying to suppress my dark worries, trying to reassure myself that Nat was here, along with the agents. We were in the middle of nowhere; we were safe. I turned the corner, intending to go into the kitchen to find Nat when I saw something that made my blood run cold.

Sitting on the floor near the doorway to the kitchen was a broken tray, the sandwich soaking in a puddle of spilled juice on the floor. There were pictures knocked askew on the wall and a rug bunched up on the floor, making it look as if someone had been dragged back toward the front door. I whimpered in fear. I knew deep inside that Mestrick had somehow found us and came to do exactly what he had threatened.

I crept as silently as possible to the large arch in the wall, steeling myself to look in the living room. I cried out when I saw two bodies lying on the floor. I rushed into the room, desperate to see who was lying there. I felt bad about the relief that flooded me when I saw it was the two agents, not my brother or Nat, but I was still too scared to feel guilty.

“I see you’ve found your protectors. Didn’t do such a good job, did they?” a gloating voice called from outside the open front door. It was Mestrick; I’d recognize that hateful voice anywhere. I quickly dug through the agent's pockets, looking for a cell phone. I found one and dialed 911 with trembling fingers praying that the phone got reception.

“Help, please send help,” I whispered into the phone when an operator answered.

“Can you tell me where you are, Sir, and what the problem is?”

“I don’t know where I am and I’m being attacked, two of my friends have already been shot. Please send help right away.”

“I have contacted authorities but I need to know where you are, I can’t pinpoint you location by cell phone, sir.”

“I don’t know where I am!” I practically screamed in a whisper. “Tell them to contact Anna Danbef with the DEA, she’s in charge. Just hurry, please! Mestrick has my brother and Nat.”

I could hear fingers clicking away over the phone. “Sir, is this is a hostage situation?”

I didn't get a chance to answer.

“Marc, oh Marc… Whatever could you be doing in there? You better get out here or I’m going to start on your brother and your new boyfriend before you get a chance to see them unharmed one last time.”

“Fuck you, you sick bastard!” I screamed. "If I come out there, you'll just kill them."

“Oh, not smart. Ken, show him we mean business.”

I heard a scream of pain, but it was so agonized that I was unable to tell who it was. I cussed, shuddering in fear. I had to do something, who knew when the police might show up? There were clearly at least two guys out there, probably more, and I was alone and injured.

“Sir, sir… Please answer me. No matter what, do not hang up the phone, do not leave the house.” The operator’s voice was tinny and faint from where I had dropped the phone.

“I have no choice,” I whispered. I saw the bulge of Agent Fael's gun on his ankle where his pants had slid up.I didn’t know if I could save Nat and Ry, but if I was going to try. I put the gun in the back of the waistband of my stretchy scrub pants.

“I mean it, you little shit, get out here NOW!” roared Mestrick.

I moaned in pain as I stood up, feeling some of my stitches tear and a few trickles of blood run down my stomach. I pulled my shirt over the gun before I moved to the open door, cautiously keeping my hands raised. I was pretty sure Mestrick wouldn’t kill me right away; he wanted to hurt me by making me watch him torture Ry and Nat first.

“That’s right; you’re too stupid not to do what you’re told. It’s why I’m not surprised you believed the Feds when they said they would protect you. No one can protect you from me, I can get to you anywhere you try to run and hide. And now you’re going to pay for ruining me!”

“I told you I didn’t turn you in!” I yelled, trying to stall for time. I was standing on the porch of the house in plain sight. Mestrick was standing in the middle of the front yard, two of his goons with him holding Ry and Nat. Nat was gagged with duct tape but the silver strip had been torn away from Ry's face. I could see the unnatural angle that Ry’s arm was hanging in as it dangled useless at his side. Clearly he had been the one to pay for my earlier refusal.

“Do you think I am stupid? That you can lie to me?” Mestrick turned to Nat and punched him in the stomach. Nat groaned and tried to curl up, but the man holding him kept a firm grip on Nat’s elbows. “We were at Kaleb’s when I got the call that your brother was being escorted somewhere by two federal agents. All I had to do was order my man to follow him and he led me straight to you.”

“You’re nothing but a petty criminal and a bastard. I’m glad you’re going down, you deserve to rot in prison for the rest of your life!” I was incensed at the pain he was inflicting on them, but what I said only enraged Mestrick further. I needed to stall for time, but I wasn't sure if help would reach us in time. I lowered my arms and edged one hand closer to my back.

Mestrick grinned nastily, his smirk so slimy and evil that it made me ill just to see it, as if his vile nature was enough to pollute his very surroundings. I froze. He doubled up his fists and drove them repeatedly into Nat’s abdomen, staring at me the whole time. Nat’s cries were muffled by the tape but his knees gave out after the sixth blow, causing the man holding his arms to drop him. I had planned to try and stall for enough time for the authorities to get here but this might be the only chance I had. Mestrick looked away as he drew his leg back to kick Nat where he was curled on the rain soaked ground. I sprang into action.

I pulled Agent Faels' gun from behind my back, aimed at Mestrick and fired several times. He let out an incredulous sound as blood bloomed on his chest. He choked as frothy red blood trickled from his mouth; I had clearly hit both his heart and a lung. He fell with a look of confusion as I watched in detached horror, my brain frozen with the act that had I had just committed.

Nat seemed to make a miraculous recovery, surging to his feet and bodily tackling the man who had been reaching for him. He seemed to know what he was doing, so I turned my attention to the man still holding Ry. I saw the barrel of a gun appear over Ry’s shoulder and point in my direction.

The gun went off and Ry screamed. I tried to dive out of the way of the bullet, but felt a sharp pain through my stomach and back as I did so. Pain caused my vision to flicker; I think I had jumped in the wrong direction. I refused to allow it to stop me though as I rolled back over, trying to aim my gun through the porch railing at the man who had just shot me.

It was the goon from the office and he wasn’t smirking any more. He was still holding on to Ry but was struggling to keep a grip since he had to have one arm free to keep his gun aimed at me. I saw Nat rip off the tape, calling out to someone. He flew through the air and tackled … Ry?

Just then I saw blood fly from the man’s chest, the shot having come from behind him. He dropped to his knees, his free hand touching the blood on his chest as if in disbelief before he fell face first onto the ground, a puddle of blood rapidly forming around his body.

Just then the sounds of yelling and sirens pierced the fog of my brain. In the aftermath of the initial shooting everything had gone quiet, but I guess it was shock instead of actual silence having descended. I had been so intent on the five men in the yard that I hadn’t even noticed that Anna, the FBI, and the local sheriff had shown up. Anna dropped her clip and handed that and her gun to one of the FBI men; clearly she had been the one to shoot Ry’s captor. The other men were securing the man that Nat had left alive; the other two were clearly beyond needing guards.

Nat ripped off the tape on his face and came running to me, Ry following at a slower pace trying to cradle his badly broken arm. “Marc, Marc!”

Nat dropped to his knees beside where I lay on the porch, both of my hands covering my stomach. We were ignoring the men who were starting to swarm the scene, drinking in the sight of each other, still alive.

“I’m sorry,” I said, beginning to cough a bit myself.

“Sorry? For saving my life? I’m the one who is sorry! I promised to protect you, and you had to save us. You killed a man to keep him from hurting me and Ry. I’m so sorry you had to do that.”

“Demarcus?” Ry said his face pale and his voice faint. Nat jumped up just as he wobbled, easing him down on the top step of the porch.

“Oh gods, Ry. I’m so sorry. I promise you’ll be okay; we’ll get your arm fixed. I’m sorry, I’ll understand if you don’t want me around after this. After this is all ironed out, I’ll stay away from you, you’ll be safe again." I felt hot tears streaming down my face.

Ry gestured all of that away impatiently. “Why are you holding your stomach? Please tell me you didn’t get shot, I don’t want to lose you again. I know the guy holding me fired at you.”

“I, I think I did. I don’t feel so good, very weak and fuzzy. Not to mention,” I lifted my hands up, showing the blood that stained them. How ironic, almost as if the invisible blood that stained my hands was now there for everyone to see. Did I wish this whole situation had never happened and I hadn’t had to kill a man, even one as bad as Mestrick? Yes, but I would do it again, a thousand times over to see these two men safe.

Ry burst into tears, but Nat frowned, “There’s blood, yes, but …” He tore my shirt open, exposing my stomach. I expected to see a gaping hole but all I could see was the blood. Nat ripped his own shirt off, wiping at the bright red blood pooling atop my stomach. Nat let out a laugh. “What? What is it?” Ry asked anxiously, gulping back his tears.

“He’s not shot, his stitches just ruptured. I’m sure it’s not good, but we get you two to a hospital and you’ll be patched up in no time. The fuzziness is probably from the pills you took earlier.” Ry had a look of stunned relief on his face. He slumped against the porch railing, but it only took a minute before he started grinning.

“You are so not going to get rid of me now! As soon as you are released, you are coming home with me; I won’t take no for an answer,” Ry declared, watching me closely for any argument. I just nodded, grinning back at him. Even after all this he still wanted me to live with him. I couldn't believe he was so willing to forgive me for getting him into this mess, but I wasn't going to argue with him.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” I said.

I let out a few relieved tears of my own, so grateful that I was going to live. Gods, I could only imagine what being shot would feel like, this pain was almost more than I could bear. “You’re getting checked out too, you could have internal bleeding from those blows to your stomach, or I won’t go,” I told Nat.

“Like you are in any position to argue?” He leaned down and kissed me gently. I was so relieved that I would have the chance to start over, that my life could begin anew that I reached up and grabbed his head, kissing him with a fierceness that surprised us both. The thought of losing Ry or Nat had taught me that life was too short to second-guess my worthiness all the time; I would take what I was offered and hold tight with both hands. We were both panting for breath when Nat pulled away.

“Alright, alright. Just don’t stop kissing me like that and I’ll do anything you want.”

“Stop?” I laughed. “This is only the beginning of how I am going to kiss you!” I drew him down again, determined to never let him go.