Lost At Sea - 1. Lost At Sea - Spring 2013 Anthology - A Night To Remember

It was a terrible moment of clarity. I mean we all have them; we just don’t have control over when and how they come about. Mine came in that damn life boat. I guess should start over here so you can follow me.

The trip was a given, or, if I am being honest, was won. I had taken a chance for a trip from New York City to the Bahamas. The new cruise ship, Titan, was to make its maiden voyage and they were offering free rooms to the winners of a raffle. The raffle itself was for the cancer foundation and I bought four of the five dollar tickets. To my surprise, I won, and I couldn’t wait to take the trip with Teddy at my side. It was the second time in my life I felt like a big winner.

The first time was naturally when I met Teddy three years ago. There isn’t a single reason in the world he and I should have gotten together. We met, of all places, at the book store.

“Excuse me; are you really taking that book?”

I turned to find this incredibly handsome young man standing there, looking at the book I was holding.

“Not sure. The cover intrigued me, but I don’t recognize the author.”

“Well, let me know if you are taking it please. I had seen it being advertised online and after reading the write up in this week’s newspaper I figured I’d give it a go.” He tucked a strand of long black hair back behind his ear. He pushed his glasses back up hiding his brown eyes. He glanced down at a list he had in his hand and then moved to the next aisle. “I’ll … um be here if you decide you don’t want that book. I just need to find another that I have on my list.”

“Alright.”

That should have been the end of it. I mean he was busy looking for his book and I should have just walked off, but I’d never seen anyone go to a book store with a list unless they were in college. However, it was July and any summer class would have had their books by now and I doubt any of them would have listed a new science fiction novel as one to get.

I walked around to the next aisle only to find him kneeling looking sideways at the titles on the bottom shelf. I watched as he finally picked one and looked at the list he had on the top of his pile.

“Here, if you want it I can’t be the one to keep you from it.” I offered the copy of Kraken to the young man as he stood up. I couldn’t help but notice his deep brown eyes and the slight part of his lips.

“Are you sure? I heard it was supposed to be rather a twist up of a bunch of different styles. It really did sound intriguing.” He stroked the cover with one hand before finally taking it from my hand.

“My name is Andrew by the way.”

“Oh sorry.” He set his books on the shelf and grabbed my hand. “Theodore but everyone calls me Teddy.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Yes, nice to meet you too. So are you gay as well?”

I stood there sort of flabbergasted. I mean it wasn’t like I was standing in gay literature or waving a rainbow flag. I was in blue jeans and a tee shirt and looked like any other middle aged guy in the store I guess. I couldn’t figure out where that had come from. I blushed and before I could say much Teddy just marched right on with his commentary.

“Didn’t mean to offend you if you aren’t. I just find you attractive is all.”

“Ah,” was about all I could get out.

“Don’t worry I promise I don’t bite.” He paused and looked me up and down. “If you have the time I’d love it if you joined me for coffee.”

He picked up his books, glanced over his shoulder, and headed toward the in-store coffee shop. I’d never been picked up before, especially by someone so much younger, but there was something about Teddy that wouldn’t let go and I found myself following him and getting in line. I ended up picking up the coffee and we sat at a table and talked for the next three hours. I was intrigued and even after all that time talking I still wanted to know more so I asked him out.

“Sure, I’d love to go out for dinner. I wasn’t sure you would ask me, but trust me Andy, I am just what you need.”

And it seemed like a miracle that someone so attractive would find me worth pursuing. A week later was his twenty third birthday and we spent it together. Before my fortieth birthday in September he moved in and that began our lives together. It all seemed sort of effortless, or did until about four months ago.

“Would you stop being a baby and go to the doctor, Ted.”

“I’m fine. Would you leave me alone? I swear you are worse than my mother.”

“I’m worried about you. You are sleeping a lot lately, have no energy, and you seem to be sick a lot.”

“Stop. I’m fine. If I was sick I would go to the doctor, alright!”

It was getting to be our usual fight. Almost three years together and he wouldn’t go to the doctor no matter what I said to him. He would call his mother, who seemed to always be traveling and who I still hadn’t met, and those calls seemed to be occurring more and more often.

I never had to worry about doing for Teddy. He might have been younger than me, but the damn guy was a genius and was working for a gene mapping company, working on the spread of Leukemia including how it affected the body’s normal functions and how it replicated in the body. His average take home pay made my salary look like pocket money. I knew he could afford to go the doctor, but he wouldn’t and it was a bone of contention between us.

I hadn’t realized it had gotten so bad until one day I came home, worried about how sick he had been and found the apartment we shared empty. I don’t just mean he was gone, I mean everything of his was gone. I came home to an empty home and a note.

Andy,

I can’t take the constant fighting between us anymore. I called my mother and I’m going to move into her apartment till I can find a place of my own again. I do care about you, but I feel like you are smothering me and not listening to me at all. I hope we will be able to keep a friendship, but only after we have had some time apart.

Teddy.

I hadn’t seen this coming at all. I tried calling him, but he wouldn’t answer his cell phone. It seemed he had taken care of everything, including having his mail forwarded. When I called his job I was informed, politely, that Mr. Lewis had asked to be left alone and no messages from me would be put forth.

It was killing me. I wanted to just sit down and talk to him, but there was no way to do that. Having never been to his mother’s place I couldn’t find him. He was gone and he hadn’t told me or our friends anything.

Our friends rallied around me. They couldn’t understand any more than I could what had happened. I slipped into a funk, didn’t want to go out, didn’t want to see anyone, and sure as hell didn’t want to be bothered. Naturally, that meant everyone I knew showed up and dragged me out and forced me to keep living.

_ * _ * _ *

Eventually I had to accept some help to get my life back on track. I called in Bob and Mary to do that. Bob worked as a professional designer, while his wife was a CPA. Mary was the one who found the tickets.

“Oh Christ, Andy. These are nearly ready to expire. You are going to use them and go on it aren’t you?”

“Go on what?” I had no idea what she had found while trying to organize my desk for me.

“Bob, your friend has two tickets to the Bahamas and he won’t use them!” She shouted to her husband who seemed to magically appear inside the doorway to my home office. “Look at these.”

“Where did you find them?” Bob leaned against the doorframe and smiled. “Can we use them if he won’t?”

“No, we can’t use them.” Mary’s eyes turned to slits before she focused back on me.

“Look, I just need a bit of help. It’s no big deal.” I sighed and waited for her to explode at me.

“You asked me to help you get this all straightened out. When was the last time you entered all this mess into your computer?” She held up her hand to ward off my answer. “No. Don’t even bother; I know it was Ted who usually kept the finances in order. You haven’t even gone through the files and he had them labeled by month. So you have two tickets that are about to expire for a cruise, and we are going to make sure you take it.”

Bob frowned. “We are?”

“Yes we are! Andy I am tired of seeing you mope around here. Ted left you and none of us know why. You act like you died when he left. Get your head out of your ass.” Mary’s voice became steel like as she crossed her arms and stood there staring at me. “You’re forty three years old, and it is time you acted like it.”

“Well I would be happy if he just stopped hiding and did something, like maybe take an interest in how his place looked.” Bob nodded at his wife. “Unfortunately, I can only remodel his furniture so far. I never realized that Ted was the one who had all the good stuff.”

“Thanks a lot.” I shot Bob a look that should have melted him to a puddle on the floor but he just looked at me and shrugged.

“Well, it just means I need to get you out to look at some stuff. What you have is … um … tasteless really. God, you bought some really boring furniture.”

“Forget his furniture already.” Mary waved the tickets at me. “I am going to finish getting that mess straightened out and then we are going to talk about your upcoming vacation.”

I wanted to get my life straightened out, pretend I was fine, but I wasn’t ready to admit that Teddy had left me for good. The afternoon dragged on, but I couldn’t get them to leave until I had agreed to go on the cruise. Mary made me call and cash in the one ticket. I never even looked to see what she did with the other one. Once she had the date and time of my cruise written down in her planner she finally let me push her and Bob out the door.

_ * _ * _ *

“Last call, Sir. I need your ticket, please.”

I stood there feeling like a fool. There was one suitcase at my feet and another small carry on over my arm. My friends had driven me here to make sure I got on. I really just wanted to head home and hide out, but that wasn’t in the cards for me. The Bursar checked to make sure my ticket and visa were in order then sent me up the gang plank.

“This is a mistake,” I whispered under my breath. I wandered up the gangplank after they took my luggage. It felt strange to go on board with just my ticket and room key, but I had been informed earlier that my luggage would be checked and then sent to my room.

“Hi! I’m Jessica. Do you need any directions to find your cabin sir?”

I looked up to find a perky blonde standing just inside the ship.

“I will later I am sure. I was told there was some sort of send off thing on the main deck, is that right?”

She nodded energetically, tossing her mane of hair around as pointed to a staircase across the way.

“Just follow them up to the main deck, Sir. They always have a send off and there will be ice tea, juice, and other drinks available. If you want anything else it is available at the bar and will be charged to your room sir.”

I nodded and headed upstairs. I was going to be stuck on this ship for a week so I figured I might as well learn my way around. I wandered around the deck and finally found them passing out ice tea in memorial cups announcing the maiden voyage of the Titan. I took my ice tea, which was laden with fruit, and watched as we pulled slowly out of port. I kept waiting to see if it would be like the opening of the Love Boat with people throwing confetti or something but other than some horn blowing it was pretty much a non-celebration. I watched New York City slowly fade behind us as the cruise ship headed out to the ocean. It would be two days until we docked down in Florida, then it was down to the Bahamas and back to Florida, with a plane trip home. As I watched the sun glisten off the waves I kept thinking how much I wanted to hit Mary and Rob for forcing me to go on this trip.

­ _ * _ * _ *

It was the second day out that I finally figured I should at least try to enjoy myself. I tossed on a pair of shorts, a tee shirt, sandals, and the chain Teddy had given me. It was made of wooden beads and he told me that the symbols that were etched into them spelled out my name. It was one of the few reminders he had left me and I found I rarely took it off.

The sun was out but if you looked south you could see a dark cloud front. I figured I might as well enjoy the sun because if it rained that would mean an end to time at the pool or wandering around the deck. At least it was warm and I should be able to read for a while if I could find a spot to hunker down in.

I wasn’t exactly dressed to swim, but I found a seat that would allow me to get some sun and still be near the pool. The advantage to be being by the pool was the hostess who would check to see if you wanted a drink, and considering I never planned to order anything alcoholic, it was all free.

I’d just gotten comfortable and began to read when a shadow fell across my body.

“Is it a good book?”

There stood a very attractive woman. She was sort of muscular, with a deep tan, and brown hair that seemed to have deep red highlights. You could tell it was natural. She had dark brown eyes and there was something about her that seemed familiar somehow.

“Don’t really know yet. I just started reading.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“No problem.”

I expected her to move on but instead she sat down in the chair next to mine.

“By the way, I do like your necklace. Never seen anything like that before.”

“Thank you.” Instantly my fingers made their way up and I caressed the beads.

“I see it is important to you too.”

I looked up to see her watching me.

“I’m sorry. Do I know you?”

She shook her head and laughed.

I tried to figure out why she seemed so familiar but, no matter how much I wracked my brain, I couldn’t put my finger on it. I hoped it would come to me soon.

“No, sorry. I don’t think we have ever met. I’m Beverly.”

I reached across and took her outstretched hand to shake. Her fingers and hand were callused which surprised me.

“Andrew. Andrew Riley. Nice to meet you Beverly.”

“Ah, adding last names. Sorry, then I’m Beverly Richie.”

I laughed.

“So, are you here alone or with someone?”

“I’m here alone.”

She raised her eyebrow and looked at me again.

“However, I’m also not available.”

“Hmm, you are here alone, but not available. I sense a story here.”

“Maybe, but not one I feel like telling.”

“No problem. It is a long trip. I’m sure we will meet again.”

Beverly stood up, snagged a glass of water from one of the passing hosts and wandered off. I sat for a while trying to figure out where I might have met her before because she did seem to be someone I knew but couldn’t place.

­_ * _ * _ *

I did end up running into Beverly again that evening. It seemed to be preordained with her cabin being just across the way from mine. I was heading out after a shower to go for an early meal and had arranged to go to see one of the shows on board tonight. She came out a moment later.

“Hello again Andrew.”

“Beverly. I guess you were right, we did meet again.”

She smiled and brushed her hand over her simple black dress. She didn’t wear heels but more of a strappy sort of sandal. Her hair was pulled back and she wore a simple silver chain that had a locket on it.

“So which of the many places did you plan to head off to for dinner?” I watched as once again her eyebrow shot up.

“I thought you were taken.”

“Beverly, I’m gay. Trust me; you have nothing to fear from me. However, if you would like a dinner companion, that much I can be.”

She smiled and looked me over again.

“Okay. I was just heading out to the Blue Deck. They are doing a buffet and that is included in the price of the cruise.”

“I see I am not the only one trying to save some money on this trip.”

The two of us wandered over to the buffet. To say that there was food available would be an understatement. There was fruit, salads, sliced meat, hamburgers and hot dogs being cooked to order, and an entire table devoted to just about any type of dessert you can imagine. We wandered around filling our plates and finally found a table overlooking the ocean.

“So,” Beverly began between bites, “Care to explain why you are here alone, but say you are taken. Gay or not, you are an attractive man, Andrew.”

I blushed. I wasn’t sure why Beverly was being so forward about everything. I sure as hell didn’t think I was a prize. I really wanted to tell her the attractive one was Teddy, but that didn’t seem right.

“Come on. Tell me about you. I’m curious why you are here alone.”

“I could ask the same of you, Bev.”

“Okay,” she said setting down her fork. “I’ll make you a deal. Tonight you tell me your story and tomorrow I’ll tell you mine.”

I sat back. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go through this. Hell, I hadn’t even admitted it all to myself, never mind my friends. Not even Mary and Bob could get the whole story out of me. Yet something told me to just tell it all to Beverly and that is what I found myself doing.

“I don’t know. I was so worried about being older than him. I swear I never expected him to just pick up and move. My friends have kept at me to get my life back in order, but to be honest I am worried about Teddy. I mean, I know he wasn’t feeling well. He might be really sick. I don’t know how the hell to get in touch with his mother. Half the time he didn’t either. I know she traveled with her job, but he was so closed mouthed about her. He swore she was due to be home this summer and we would get to meet. I mean we had been together for nearly three years.” I took a breath. It was one of the things that hurt. “He had met my family, and I know he was an only child, but after all that time you would think I’d have met her.”

“Seems like you really care about him. So why didn’t you go after him?”

“I tried. I called every day for two months but he wouldn’t answer his phone. His job wouldn’t take my calls. When I went to look for him there, I was informed he was working from home, but they wouldn’t tell me where that was. I even tried to get answers from some of his friends at work, but even they clammed up on me. Do you know how many Lewis’ there are in New York City? And I didn’t know his mother’s first name so I couldn’t just go there.”

Beverly sat there studying my face. I stopped and looked out into a pitch dark night. There were no stars or moon and I couldn’t make out the waves. It was like looking out into total darkness.

“I guess you really were unable to just find him then.”

I looked down at my watch only to realize I had been talking to Beverly for hours. The show I had planned to go to was now over and yet we still sat at our window seat while the buffet was cleaned up and restocked.

“Yeah. Anyway, it is late. Let me walk you back to your cabin before I turn in.”

Beverly stood up and we headed to the door just as the alarm bells went off.

“What the hell?” Beverly turned and looked at me.

“Let’s head out to the deck.”

We turned to head out the doors toward the other side of the buffet only to have one of the crew stop us.

“Actually, if you would both head over to the side here. That is the fire alarm. We are all asked to go to the nearest deck and toward the lifeboats, just to be safe.”

We found ourselves being ushered toward the boats. There were people everywhere and rain had begun to fall. It seems the storm we had seen earlier had finally arrived.

“What is going on?” The demand was made by a rather large man who was currently stuffing a towel into a bag that was over his arm.

“I want to know too,” shrilled a teenage girl who stood with her younger brother. The young boy clung to her and kept crying, “I want momma, Sissy.”

“Please stop shouting,” an elderly woman who was dressed in a caftan joined in. “Some of us won’t be able to hear the directions if idiots like you start shouting about wanting to know. Give them a chance to tell us.”

“Well they better damn well hurry. I’m getting wet now!” The man yelled.

“Lord, if we have to do anything don’t let me be stuck in a boat with him,” whispered Beverly.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

We stood shivering on the deck as the rain fell until finally one of the crew came to make an announcement.

“We do apologize. It seems there was a fire on one of the lower decks. It has been put out.”

There were grateful noises being made but the crewmember simply held up his hand to get silence again.

“The fire is out but it did do damage to the electrical system on the ship. We will be putting into port in Florida as expected but we will be transferring you to another cruise ship for the remainder of your cruise.”

There was a lot of grumbling about having to transfer ships but I think basically most of us just wanted to head back inside to get out of the rain. Suddenly the alarm went off again. This time it sounded different and the crewman looked a little pale.

Before he could say anything a wave hit the ship hard enough to make it list. People slipped on the wet deck and went crashing into the wall. At least we were on this side was all I could think. The waves began to batter the ship as the rain came down in buckets. People began to push to get inside.

The boat lurched the other way and Beverly slammed into me as I hit the rails on the side of the deck. Feet below us the lifeboats swayed. Blue and red lights began to flash all over and the alarm screeched back into life.

The crewmember moved over and began the machinery that would move the lifeboats into place.

The heavy gentleman and five people around him swarmed toward the first boat. The crewmember tried to explain that they would need to arrange their weight but no one was listening and the boat soon was over crowded. He tried again to warn them, one of the members in the boat slammed into the cable and the lifeboat dropped into the dark water below. We could hear the screaming but within moments we had lost track of them.

People immediately moved down toward other boats, not waiting for the second boat on this one to be readied. The crewmember managed to get the machine working and a second boat moved into place. I helped Beverly into place and followed her, the older woman stood at the side about to climb in when another wave slammed the ship. The lifeboat clanged against the side of the ship as she tottered backward and as we swung out she slipped between the lifeboat and the ship into the sea below us. A moment later our lifeboat plunged into the water below.

It wasn’t a slow drop and we hit the ocean with a great deal of force. I fell forward and slammed into the seat in front of me. When I came around the boat was half full of water and Beverly lay with her arm at an odd angle beside me. I found a small bucket and a first aid kit strapped into place near the front of the lifeboat. The boat itself was being tossed around by the waves. I found out the seats themselves were life preservers and secured one to Beverly before getting one on myself. I spent what felt like days just bailing out the lifeboat in an attempt to keep us afloat.

_ * _ * _ *

“Are we alive?”

It was the first thing Beverly had said in hours. That was after the moaning and crying. She had broken her arm as the boat fell to the sea. The pain itself had knocked her out. We used what we could, namely one of the seats, to create a sort of splint to keep her arm straight until we could be rescued.

“Yeah, although I can’t say for how long.”

“Fuck.”

I looked up and laughed. Beverly had been pretty quiet, even when I had to move her arm to get it in the splint. Luckily the bone hadn’t pierced the skin but there was no denying it was broken. Even with the pain of that she hadn’t cursed.

“What is so funny?”

“Sorry,” I chuckled. “I just figured if you didn’t curse when I had to move your arm nothing would make you and now you just come out with fuck.”

Even through her tan she looked pale. She looked at me, her hair wet and limp around her face and shook her head.

“This isn’t how it was supposed to be.”

“Well, no, I don’t think a ship evacuation was in anyone’s plans.”

“Not what I meant.”

I looked over at Beverly as she stared at the water still pooled at our feet. Luckily the boat hadn’t been damaged in the drop, and with my constant work we hadn’t been swamped. I really didn’t know what to make of her comment.

“You aren’t what I expected Andy.”

“What? You weren’t expecting that a gay man would keep his head during an emergency?”

“Look, I have something to tell you so sit there and just listen okay.”

I watched as Beverly sat straighter and looked me right in the face.

“My name is Beverly Richie, Dr. Beverly Richie. I’m an archeologist and I’m damn good at what I do. I just finished a two year trip where I spent my time down in South America doing work on deciphering some carvings found at a smaller Inca village that has recently been uncovered.”

I watched her move and kept still. I knew she was in pain as she moved her arm to try to get comfortable. This time I watched as she looked out toward the sea instead of at me.

“At sixteen, I fell in love, or I thought I did. He was cute and said all the right things to me. I lost my virginity to him, and he gave me a child in return. He also ran as fast as he could in the other direction, but I didn’t care. My parents didn’t think much of him, but they weren’t about to let me give up their grandchild. Instead they forced me to keep up in school, and helped me raise my son.”

“Okay. “ I wasn’t sure what to say or what this all had to do with me. All I could do was hope she would continue and this might make sense. “That couldn’t have been easy.”

“Trust me, when it comes to my son, it has all been worth it.”

“Sounds like you are a strong lady.”

“I’m a mother.”

She lapped into silence. The darkness surrounded us and even for summer I found a chill in the air from the rain. I was grateful the waves had calmed because I wasn’t sure how much more we could take. I took the bucket and tried to see if I could get any more water out of our boat.

“I came here to find out just what type of man you are Andrew.”

I stopped and looked again at Beverly.

“What do you mean you came to find out what type of man I am?”

“Just that.”

“Who are you?”

“I think what you want to know is who my son is. My son is Theodore Lewis.”

“Teddy?”

“Yes.”

“But you said your last name was Richie and his is Lewis.”

“It is. I knew who his father was and I made sure Teddy has his father’s name. His father was never there for Teddy. The most he ever really did was pay his child support. When he found out his son was gay, well that pretty much ended the communication between the two of them.”

I’d always wanted to meet Teddy’s mother and now here we were stuck on a lifeboat in the ocean together. Somehow this isn’t what I expected.

“My son called me right after he met you. I have been hearing non-stop about you for years now. I’d even offered to leave the dig to come home, but Teddy told me that everything would wait for me. He didn’t want to interrupt either of our lives.”

I sat there numb. I didn’t know what to say.

“That chain you wear is your name and his. I taught him the code used in it. It is part of how I was able to know for sure it was you.”

“But, why would you do that?” The pain of him walking out on me bubbled to the surface. I was almost whining as I begged answers from Beverly. “Why didn’t Teddy come? Where is he? Is he okay?”

She laughed bitterly.

“He didn’t tell you before he left. Right now my son is sitting in my apartment heaving his guts out most likely.”

“Why? What is wrong with him?” A new type of cold had seized me. “I knew he had to go to the doctor.”

“Oh, he listened to you. My son who never likes to go to the doctor, who does research on cancer, and who stupidly won’t go for a yearly checkup, finally listened to you because you seemed so worried.” She paused and caught her breath. “Yeah, he went to the doctor and found out he was sick.”

“But that was months ago. Why would he still be sick?”

“Because he has cancer. They caught it early because of you, but he was scared. He wasn’t sure you could handle another person getting sick and maybe dying on you. He talks about the scars you carry from having to take care of your father through his illness. He said he couldn’t do that to you. So he called me, begged me to leave the dig, and finally told me why.”

“How …. How?” I couldn’t even speak. Tears flowed freely as I sat there feeling like a fool. My Teddy had gotten ill and he felt he couldn’t tell me. How could he think I wouldn’t be there for him?

“He has started treatment. It wasn’t bad at first but now he is getting sick. He has lost some of his hair, which for him is major. Hell, I probably wouldn’t have known you were trying to get in touch with him if it hadn’t been for the letter from Mary.”

“Mary? What does she have to do with it?”

“Well at least one of your friends decided Teddy needed to know what he had done to you. Leaving you with no explanation or closure, she said it was eating you up. She went on to say how she had found the winning tickets for your cruise and how she had made sure you had booked your stay. She sent the second ticket to him telling him to be a man and at least let you off the hook if he had ever felt anything for you.”

“But how did she find out where he was living?”

“She mailed it to your apartment, but with Teddy having his mail forwarded it naturally came to my place. I hadn’t been able to get much out of him about you, other than him saying you were nearly destroyed watching your father die and he wasn’t going to do it to you again.”

“That son of a bitch. How dare he make that decision for me!”

“Yeah, well I have been thinking how dare you not stand by my son when he was ill. Now I know that wasn’t the case.”

I didn’t know what the hell to say. It was one of those nights, one you sort of know you will always remember. Luckily we didn’t have to wait to say much more. We didn’t know it but each of the lifeboats was equipped with a tracking unit that goes off immediately when it is released. Once the choppers were able to head out they did and were slowly zeroing in on each of the lifeboats. The Titan hadn’t sunk but it had to be towed in with sever amount of damage done to it. Now there were some decisions to be made.

_ * _ * _ *

I got a call from Beverly once she got home. She told me how Teddy had been a wreck when he caught the news and had been terrified hearing how the ship had nearly sunk and that lifeboats had been lowered with some people were feared lost at sea.

In the end there was only one life lost, Agnes Deporte who was the older woman who had slipped between the lifeboat and the ship.

It was two days after returning home that Beverly called me again.

“You need to come here and talk to him.”

“I’m not sure I can face him, Bev.”

“Trust me, he will see you. I told him all about the trip, including the two of us being on the lifeboat and the fact that you now know all about his illness.”

I stood in my kitchen listening to her talk and wanted to cry.

“Please come.”

“I need to think about it, Bev.”

“Fine, I’ll call you back in two days. Either you come here or I’ll come get you.”

I was left standing there listening to the dial tone after she hung up.

It had been four days since I had gotten home that Beverly called me back and gave me her address. I stood on the doorstep literally shaking, partly in fear and, if I was being honest, partly in anger. When I finally knocked, Beverly opened the door. She stood looking more relaxed then the last time I had seen her. Her arm was now in a proper cast, but that didn’t stop her from reaching out and hugging me. It still freaked me out to find out I was barely a year older than Beverly and that she was okay with me having dated her son.

“God, I‘m glad you came, Andy. He has been waiting for you.”

“Thanks Bev.”

She led me to the living room and then went off into another part of the house.

Teddy lay on the couch wrapped in a blanket. His glasses helped to hide his brown eyes, but his long black hair was gone. I wasn’t sure if he had shaved it off or if it had fallen out with the treatment he was on.

I sat down on the chair across from him. He sat and looked at me, but didn’t speak.

“You left me with a note and no real explanation.”

Teddy looked at his hands and not at me.

“Did you really think I would simply forget you? Or that I wouldn’t stay by you if you got sick?”

“I remember what you told me you went through with your father when he was sick. I didn’t want to be the reason for you to go through all that again. I didn’t want to see you endure it because I was sick.”

“Oh, so it was easier to just rip my heart out.”

Teddy looked up. His eyes were red and I could see the tears from where I was.

“You, Theodore Lewis, are an asshole.”

I stood up and walked over to the couch and sat down on the floor by his side.

“And if you ever try to do something like this again I swear to God, I’m going to tell your mother.”

Then I leaned in to kiss him, realizing that every moment I get to spend with him is a gift from God, and no one, not even Teddy was going to deny me this pleasure.