Michael9344

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband whispers to his wife, "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates (upset) you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." …. …………….. . . To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. So, Be strong, honey. "I love you too !!"

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman Asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, “Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I’m a one-wish genie. So… what’ll it be? The woman did not hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony. The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years.. I’m good but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable. The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I have never been able to find the right man. You know – one that’s considerate and fun, romantic, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is good in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for…a good man.” The genie let out a sigh and said, “Let me see the map again.

Stitch

Pretty simple. What are you reading now. Which book, novel, story, newspaper, mag? I'm reading Two Little Girls In Blue by Mary Clark and enjoying every single chapter....

I just got Mirrors by Justin Timberlake and I've been playing it since then!

Ceiling

Wear

New

Hi, Jay. Welcome to GA. It won't be hard making friends. There are lots of endearing hearts and invigorating minds.... And the stories are almost limitless...

This is sweet. Nothing like realizing you were wrong, and accepting it. Kei's got a love coming to him. He's going to be alright... Great story. Thanks for sharing, Nephy.

A famous inspirational speaker said: "Best year of my life were spent in the arms of a woman,who wasn't my wife" Audience was in shock & silence.. He added: "She was my mother" ...Applause & Laughter! . . . . . A drunker tried to crack this at home. After a drink,he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen: "Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman,who wasn't my wife" standing for a moment, trying to recall the second half.. By the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water!

Hmmm. Love the first chapter better:P. Now, how are these two going to get together...?

Things have definitely gotten more complicated. What are they going to do now?

Lady: Do you smoke? Man: Yes. Lady: How many packs? Man: 3 packs daily. Lady: How much is per pack for your brand? Man: $ 8 a pack. Lady: And how long have you been smoking? Man: Almost 18 years. Lady: So one pack costs $ 8 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $ 720. In one year, it would be $ 8640. Correct? Man: Correct. Lady: If in 1 year you spend $ 8640, you collectively spent $ 155,520. Correct? Man: Correct. Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 18 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari? Man: Do you smoke? Lady: No. Man: Where's your freaking Ferrari then?

Fore warned. It was weird but still appealing and qualitative. Interesting short read. Thanks for writing:)